Agreed! He is defo shadowing Hinch and her stuff. Do you remember when she had the troll having a go at her kid and he ranted that all trolls were mentally ill? Then a couple of days later he had a troll (that he didn't show...) that he said couldn't even spell love that he was fake laughing at.Just caught the rant. His insta queen Mrs Hinch had a troll bite earlier and I can't help but feel this is Melvin having a manufactured #metoo moment to get a message from her.
On the off chance the message was real, here's my take. Gay or straight, council or private, a wee bawbag's a wee bawbag for a that (apologies to Rabbie Burns for the bastardisation of his works)
Take my money, I totally want to go to this.Trying to imagine what this meet and greet extravaganza might look like and, as its likely Mario keeps tabs on here, perhaps we can give him some inspiration for the big event's agenda.
1. Welcome, drinks reception - strictly 1 mug of biscuit tea per guest
Mingle with your fellow Mafioso (suggested talking points may include, favourite colour sph2onge cloth, how many wax melts is too many, favourite Mario journey story)
2. Explore the Mario art wall. See for youself the pictorial journey of this icon maturing from bottle-blonde disco-diva to malcontent brunette whinger.
3. TED talk by Mario. "Choices that will make you shine bright like a cubic zirconia". Mario will discuss the merits of Fabulosa v Zoflora, Daisy Blue v Ava May and Onesies v Twosies. Be blown away by his technique for committing his very own postal address to his very own memory.
4. Live demo. Style up a footstool - how to achieve that bougie look using only items gifted from small insta businesses.
Any other ideas folks?
Disclaimer: I am very VERY bored this evening
I noticed he wasn’t flogging the wax melts as much as I thought he would.Long term lurker here. Wow, those stories tonight the guy is so full of shit, 59 billion odd dots of raging jealousy about his wee cooncil hoose and he could get a mortgage and all the offers he’s turned down blah blah blah... He is so wanting his account to be up there with sooophie also notice no mention of Ava May?? Has that relationship gone sour??
Unless it’s Instagram playing up it doesn’t look like she is following him anymoreLong term lurker here. Wow, those stories tonight the guy is so full of shit, 59 billion odd dots of raging jealousy about his wee cooncil hoose and he could get a mortgage and all the offers he’s turned down blah blah blah... He is so wanting his account to be up there with sooophie also notice no mention of Ava May?? Has that relationship gone sour??
No she isn't! He follows her though stillUnless it’s Instagram playing up it doesn’t look like she is following him anymore
I actually live in Scotland and our local semi chem only stocked the tat for a week or so. Never seen them back in stock? I remember him saying a few months back that semi chem wanted to do work with him, no mention since? Good spot as I never noticed she’s not following him anymoreNo she isn't! He follows her though stillWonder if he had a wobbler because she couldn't fulfil his semichem orders?
I think ava may basically fucked it off because she couldn't make enough stock for her website and semichem? So the whole thing was a bit pointless really, Mario's big break he got by just signing his name went up in smoke.I actually live in Scotland and our local semi chem only stocked the tat for a week or so. Never seen them back in stock? I remember him saying a few months back that semi chem wanted to do work with him, no mention since? Good spot as I never noticed she’s not following him anymore
But but but he bought a new pen and everything to write his name down!I think ava may basically fucked it off because she couldn't make enough stock for her website and semichem? So the whole thing was a bit pointless really, Mario's big break he got by just signing his name went up in smoke.
The fanny hasn't changed my life at all! Apart from the fact I want to chin the cunt if i ever pot the fucker out in the worldHow self absorbed is he though? Makes me so angry listening to him rabbiting on and on about his journeys and platform and how he changes lives. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with living in a council house, fuck me I’d love to pay 97 a week for my flat!! He always makes a drama out of nothing.
Oh good Lord....St Melvin I’m not bothered at all, yup, 3 hours or so later he’s 'stronger' as strong as one of those biscuit tea bagsThe lip syncing.... Someone needs to sew his fucking mouth shut!!!!!!
@cleaningupthecrap I love you! Would you like to join me in my caravan of love (a tiny campervan) & stalk the Melvin?Another day, another 'what was the actual point of that' from Saint Saviour of Small Businesses Melvin.
He talks about the haters, which he swears he isn't bothered by, having boring lives and not making anything of themselves. The irony blows through those wisps of hair on his shiny bonce and he remains ignorant of how little he does. It's bloody groundhog day with Melvin.
1. Tells everyone it's freezing, but happy *insert day*
2. Wraps himself in that mangy dressing gown and drops begging hints / shows off results of begging hints.
3. Has a shower and does his skincare.
4. Has a moan about nothing / tells us a made-up story designed to make him out to be uhmayzing
5. Tells us he's going to chillax.
6. Embarrasses Derek.
7. Does some terrible lip-synching that makes me want to hurl.
8.Reposts his followers blowing smoke up his arse.
9. Blows cold sore kisses to everyone.
10. Repeat, maybe add in a bit of fabreeze for variety.
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