Cleaning with Mario #23 grinch's no 1 fan, who left skids in the pan

[MaxieMoo]

I now know Paisley so well and I've never even been to Scotland

 

[Poptart]

View attachment 276507 Red pin is where the tree is. Working in Morrison’s?

I bet hes working in the Leisure Centre as a fitness instructor. He instructs the dance class and makes them all sweat their asses off in your pajamas whilst doing potato hearts. Nae debates.

 

[Popper]

Pasta pasta pasta - thank god he’s labelled his see through jars. Not guna lie, I thought he’d have gone more boujee with the labels and identified what kind of pasta each jar contains. Nae debates ma lovelies, ahm jist usin ma spine coz I was given one and sayin ma opinion. Will now get back in to ma ain lane.

 

[shadyessex33]

So he’s spent £100 on a crapet cleaner because the crapet in his hallway gets dirty cause they walk through it to take their shoes off in the kitchen?

Would have been better off spending the £100 on a bit of Lino for the hallway. Sorted.

If he had a brain he’d be dangerous

 

[menopausalmargrit]

Auch hallo ma lovelies. Wit a day av hid, done ma 2 oor shift & ma boss wanted me tae dae overtime? Does she not know that someone as boujee as masel has nae time spare to contribute to anybody but ma sel. Am absalootely affronted.

Noo that av got that aff ma chist al have a wee cuppa coffee, a mean a know it disnae agree with ma awfy sensitive bowels but a feel like a need a wee pick me up.

 

[Maggie28]

I teach 5 year olds and I had to have a chat with one about sharing, and I found myself telling him to stay in his lane, and he need to be on the right path. Then another child did a drawing and I knew I need to stop watching Mario when I said it was a bespoke picture and so forth!
Not long til half term

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

Can you imagine them on Xmas eve opening their boxes.... SURPRISE!! Then playing the bloody board game then hanging their boujeee pink stockings

I can unfortunately and it conjures up a mental image that fills me with the feeling “sadness”

Perched on the edge of the world’s most uncomfortable sofa in their size XS pyjamas, with HB Monopoly all set out on the sewing box that’s not quite close enough to the couch to be able to reach comfortably from a seated position, with a Snowman hot chocolate and a selection box each

 

[Curtaintwitcher45]

Lads, I've already told you, oor Melvin is a daytime hooker. He pops his pink tights on and patrols the streets, hoping to do a Pretty Woman and get swept off his feet and get the keys to a rat free mansion.
Can anyone do a faceswap with Melvin as Julia Roberts in the hooker boots?

Best I can do with short notice ma lovely. Yous aw know that photoshop isnae ma job. Ma job doesnae matter it’s just ma job and so forth. So aye

 

[Cagayu]

Aw I do hope we get a full on “things that never happened” cry laughter video later about the “lorry truck??”
We’ve not had one in a while

I hope so
*wipes away none existent laugh tear*

Cleaning with mario #24 -he’s got bad eyes and worse taste... will his job ever be traced?

 

[NOID-phal]

Looking back at the old threads, there are some gems. @Kikini Bamalam you bad girl.

 

[Noseyrosie62]

We are humoured by his “diva” like behaviour because he has a few followers on insta.

could you actually imagine what it must be like for his friends. How they don’t want to claw their eyes out I’ll never know.

here is a few things I can imagine he would say.

To his Boss - “ hey ma lovelie I knoooo technically ye are ma boss buttt but I’m an influencer ya nooo so I’m famous and I don’t know how I feel bowt being on shop flair because celebrities like ma self get paid appearance fees , so yeee either pay me more or I’ll sit in stock room.”

To his Friends - “ hey lovelies about tee night can we go just to local chippy and back teee mine for a wine from my tacky drink trolley.Cause I’m famous yeee see , I know you don’t know what that’s like but all ma fans will want selfies and I need a night off.this journey of mine is so hard sometimes”

To Family - “ hi Ma I bet you never thought yeee have a famous wee baby did ya. Never mind my sissy she no near as successful as me. Yes she owns her own home but does she have a collab with toxic over priced wax melts company nooo she don’t. I mean your so lucky ma to have a famous wee son look at the bougie shoes I got ye for Xmas, your so lucky ma, I love I can treat you because of my fame and success.”

To Derek “ oh Derek yee so lucky to have man like me, you would be nothing with out me. If you ever leave you will lose all this fame and success. I nooo you like the quieter life and that’s why you hide in public, but my fans are a part of my journey ma loveley you are gonna have to accept I have to stop and take pics in Poundland. And if I ever catch ye dancing with another cleaning influencer (no name mentioned) getting papped and showing me up I won’t just lock ye our room , I’ll cut your wee knockers Off . Sparkle them up and hang them on my bespoke Pink Xmas tree , ye get me Derek?”

 

[Followthey]

While I’m at it.... how old is he?!? Fucking Christmas Eve boxes and hot chocolate stirrers for a grown man! Seriously he really is a massive child

 

[twilightgarden]

This reminded me of our Mario

 

[Noseycow2020]

How the actual fuk can you get the HB monopoly in Linwood bnm’s......I’m buckled!!!!!

He’s in his aine lane nae debates if he wants to get hb monopoly in b&m then he can

 

[D2theyawn]

I teach 5 year olds and I had to have a chat with one about sharing, and I found myself telling him to stay in his lane, and he need to be on the right path. Then another child did a drawing and I knew I need to stop watching Mario when I said it was a bespoke picture and so forth!
Not long til half term

i swear to god I wish I had a five year old! If my wean came home and told me his teacher said those exact words i would get in tae ma best trackie bottoms (the ones that give me the biggest camel toe) frog march masel doon tae that school and present you with a gift box fuhl of mini whips, crunches, Irn Bru, cheese n crackers without the cheese, wax melts, febreeze, wax burners, boady mists, rustlers, packers of chicken noodle soup, Tesco bathroom cleaner and the piss-off-resistance..... a bespoke tapas table!!! It would be the best day ma luvlie tae ken that ma wean was being educated by an exemplary figure such as yersel. That wean is one lucky wee sausage

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

I get all the other references - letterbox etc. - but I’m lost with the council haircut. Please help as it’s bothering me more than it should. TIA.

Cos his hair looks like its been cut with the due care, reverence and training of the cooncil employees whose job it is to go round the grass verges with industrial strimmers whacking lumps out of the japanese knotweed

 

[ayeayecaptain]

Morning ma lovelies!!
I’m on a journeeee this morning - just passing through!!

EDIT: For work purposes! Am not doing a Melvin & oot gallavantin against Nic’s advice!!

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

So much joy remembering rat gate. It started with him clutching his hoosecoat and telling us about being freaked out by the weird noises coming from the loft space above them. I'm pretty sure he was the one who said mice, but local tattlers knowing the area said rats. Dezza and some other neighbour went up for a look and couldn't see anything, so a man from the cooncil was sent for. After he gave Melvins hair a wee shampoo and set, he went up the loft and "pit stuff doon". Then Melvin never mentioned it again for a while but we all had our fun with that too. Eventually he gave us a "hunners of you were asking" story and all of a sudden it was squirrels - which are just boujee rats when you think about it. So on brand for oor Melv. Pure gold ma lovelies.

 

[kazizzle]

Hey all. New to this thread but was having a nosy and just had to post and say hey to all the other tattlers on this thread who must live near me! Can’t say Im out and about much these days but will keep an eye out for him in the shops if I am! If it’s warehouse work there are soooo many warehouse jobs in this area. Council also just recently hired lots of cleaners in case his dream job might actually be cleaning...

 

[GiftedNotFree]

He’s had many many questions. Many many.

“The jar is permanent”

Also, he’s had no time to record those stories during the week “cos works in the way” you work 3 hours a day Melvin, settle down.