We are humoured by his “diva” like behaviour because he has a few followers on insta.
could you actually imagine what it must be like for his friends. How they don’t want to claw their eyes out I’ll never know.
here is a few things I can imagine he would say.
To his Boss - “ hey ma lovelie I knoooo technically ye are ma boss buttt but I’m an influencer ya nooo so I’m famous and I don’t know how I feel bowt being on shop flair because celebrities like ma self get paid appearance fees , so yeee either pay me more or I’ll sit in stock room.”
To his Friends - “ hey lovelies about tee night can we go just to local chippy and back teee mine for a wine from my tacky drink trolley.Cause I’m famous yeee see , I know you don’t know what that’s like but all ma fans will want selfies and I need a night off.this journey of mine is so hard sometimes”
To Family - “ hi Ma I bet you never thought yeee have a famous wee baby did ya. Never mind my sissy she no near as successful as me. Yes she owns her own home but does she have a collab with toxic over priced wax melts company nooo she don’t. I mean your so lucky ma to have a famous wee son look at the bougie shoes I got ye for Xmas, your so lucky ma, I love I can treat you because of my fame and success.”
To Derek “ oh Derek yee so lucky to have man like me, you would be nothing with out me. If you ever leave you will lose all this fame and success. I nooo you like the quieter life and that’s why you hide in public, but my fans are a part of my journey ma loveley you are gonna have to accept I have to stop and take pics in Poundland. And if I ever catch ye dancing with another cleaning influencer (no name mentioned) getting papped and showing me up I won’t just lock ye our room , I’ll cut your wee knockers Off . Sparkle them up and hang them on my bespoke Pink Xmas tree , ye get me Derek?”
Mwah mwah 