Cleaning with Mario #20 The Real Hoosecoat of Paisley

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Be More Pacific

We are Mel C style (kind of) high kicking our way into thread #20 for our favourite unemployed midget!

Most liked thread suggestion was @Exhausted Pigeon's Mario Kart (if Manbagzda ever got himself a Hinch style trolley) but he hasn't so we are 'parking' that for another day *groan*

So, the next best suggestion was this one from @GreatBritishFakeOff which was only made today and has scored an impressive 33 likes, plus it made me laugh, so that's the winner. MA PAGE, MA RULES!!! (or something) Made a slight tweak to make it more Mario-esque. Truly bespoke if you will.

Last thread round up

Going to keep this brief as people are waiting to go to bed but basically Maz had a no fuss, 61 repost and lots of gifts birthday, he still has no job, doesn't appear to be looking for one, he was a nasty, unrepentant gobshite about cleaners, despite running a cleaning account, and has treated himself to a load more shit including a fucking cheeseboard!

Away we go ma lovelies!

 
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cleaningupthecrap

Ah’m fine ma lovelies, *wipes tear from eye* jus cosied up in ma Protective room. Had ta move the pink nutcrackers oooot though, they had threatened to go all karmer on ma overly sensitive buttocks for mentioning an unmentionable on the last thread. Do aye, and so forth
 
Reactions: 17

GiftedNotFree

From the screenshot, I thought that was another bespoke mop he’d bought himself with some kind of tartan bag around the neck.

Then I realised it was his foot and I can’t stop laughing.

A wee poem to kickstart the thread:


September we’re in—
Will it bring
A job so bespoke
For Mario the hoarding king?
 
Reactions: 28

twilightgarden

Ooh love a boujie new thread ma lovelies! Loads of love and tattie hearts tae yeez aw.

Just seen Mario’s latest stories.
1. If he wanted to support her why not message her privately instead of bawlin greetin all over the shop on his stories?
2. If he ‘just hates showin that side o masel’ he wouldn’t have posted it.

3. Sitting in bed in his manky hoosecoat almost whispering has given me the creeps.

I think his friend has such a great attitude about her situation and is coping a lot better than I think I would! No shade to her at all. Mario on the other hand...

GiftedNotFree said:
From the screenshot, I thought that was another bespoke mop he’d bought himself with some kind of tartan bag around the neck.

Then I realised it was his foot and I can’t stop laughing.
Click to expand...
Hilarious!

I looked again and almost spat my tea out, his wee ankle looks like a twiglet in the screen shot.
 
Reactions: 28
G

GreatBritishFakeOff

oh my god thank you!!! I feel so honoured getting my quote used for a thread title. I shall celebrate with tapas on the pin cushion table with a glass of alcohol that I don’t like... all whilst wearing the hoosecoat and so forth
 
Reactions: 19

Cagayu

Mario’s teeth were whistling in those bed pictures
I laughed so hard about his mop leg

LoopyHoopy71 said:
@Cagayu said person seems to be going off the scale yet again. I was there the first time for the drama. Unreal.
Click to expand...
She’s so predictable, big poor little me posts. A story later, here’s my Amazon wish list, GFM page link.
It’s as subtle as a brick
 
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menopausalmargrit

Aw ma lovelies, a jist LOVE the new thread title. A didn’t want an unhealthy breakfast this morning so av jist pit some frozen hash broons in ma air fryer n al huv them oan a piece, so aye.

On a mare serious note, did he just say “am raging ye never warned me you were doing that Sam”? What an absolute fucking prick! She’s got more important things going on that telling a so called pal that she’s not seen for years about what she’s going to do on her Instagram!

Just as well I haven’t bothered to set up another Instagram as I wouldn’t be able to hold back sending him a message!
 
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Kaydeelaydee

A teachable moment on quiet stoicism from his friend Sam last night. A teachable moment on how not to respond from Melvin.

Couldn't have got it more wrong if he tried.
 
Reactions: 24

Badaboom

Lads, lads, lads! It seems that Melv HAS got himself a tiny wee bespoke cleaning trolley. Don’t know why he hasn’t shown it to us. A wee hobbit sized trolley perfect for the wee hobbit sized ‘man’
 
Reactions: 46
A

Anti-influencer

Badaboom said:
Lads, lads, lads! It seems that Melv HAS got himself a tiny wee bespoke cleaning trolley. Don’t know why he hasn’t shown it to us. A wee hobbit sized trolley perfect for the wee hobbit sized ‘man’
View attachment 237507
Click to expand...
He will be AWBSAWLOOTELY FUMING that you’ve spotted that. His poor nieces getting a cleaning trolley for Christmas so they can be just like their Uncle Moira
 
Reactions: 35

Laura VanderBooben

Karma for you also
Ma Page ma rules
A gown he was in
For the sky man he wanted in


(Desperate) Real Hoosecoat of Paisley

@Cagayu hope you don't mind ma lovely, but can't let this gem fade into obscurity yet


Cleaning m a way into the thread with a bespoke hobbit sized cleaning trolley *swish swish kiss kiss*
 
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cleaningupthecrap

Anyone else keep coming back to admire the tartan bagged bespoke mop. @GiftedNotFree maybe you could create it and ask Melvin to be a brand ambassador for you. Pay him in Ferrero Rocher.
 
Reactions: 12

menopausalmargrit

Badaboom said:
Lads, lads, lads! It seems that Melv HAS got himself a tiny wee bespoke cleaning trolley. Don’t know why he hasn’t shown it to us. A wee hobbit sized trolley perfect for the wee hobbit sized ‘man’
View attachment 237507
Click to expand...
This is the best spot ever! I am actually laughing so hard that I think I might need an afternoon wine to calm me doon!

Having seen Marion a few times in the flesh I can confirm that this would be the correct height for him to use!
 
Reactions: 22
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Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
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