if he’s such a great cleaner then y dust round stuff and he never moves that bloody tacky stool on top of rug he must just hoover round that , his bathroom window is filthy the white round the window is covered in dampness it’s all black and the actual window frame is really dirty ....Martin you should be embarrassed you home most definitely isn’t clean !!!!!!!!
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“When you get the club before the public” er yeah because it’s 8.00 and no ones out that early... that’s why you twit, not because you’re special!!!
I’m printing this picture and sticking on the cupboard where I keep the crisps and sweets to stop the kids going into it 
What a massive bleep! No one goes to a club at 8pm. Who pays club prices before the pubs close? The bleeping bellsniff
We all know where that nose goes don't weOh my Christ ..... that is one bleeping scary nose
Oh. My. God. I'm dying. Hahahaha. He looks like a balding witchI’m printing this picture and sticking on the cupboard where I keep the crisps and sweets to stop the kids going into it
He's rich now....
What does he even mean, before the public? Is he not ‘the public’ who does he think he is? aaarrrrggh!
I know Martin didn’t write this, but it made me laugh! Wish someone would hit the nails in his coffin
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He's rich in wax melts & horrible throwsOh. My. God. I'm dying. Hahahaha. He looks like a balding witch
He's rich now....
He IS that bellend that has his nose in his phone all night instead of actually having a laugh and living in the moment.
Did you see his boots ...omg ..think they are his mums ..he really has no dress sense
That is FAR too much bleeping Flash used in that tiny shower!!!
Did you see his boots ...omg ..think they are his mums ..he really has no dress sense
they are hideous!!! and don’t go with the rest of his outfit.Christ it’s not even 11pm, I’m aware of the irony posting this at home myself on a Saturday night, but if I was out on a hen night I would be staggering home tomorrow morning
YOU 
ARE THE bleeping PUBLIC MARTIN
ARE THE bleeping PUBLIC MARTIN Attachments
His grout around the bath is stinking dirty it's a thick black mouldy line
YOU
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This is the basement of a hotel/pub which at night turns into a nightclub.
You can hire it for functions before a certain time. It’s rather a shithole to be honest although he’d have you believe it was the Ritzfanny
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If he manages to stay off Instagram all day and night, until tomorrow, I will tit in my hands and clap.
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It was never gonna happen
What does that last post on his story even mean? It’s a lot of words, but not in the right order.
He has nothing to talk about . No #gifted tat delivered on a Sunday ,he has already filmed himself dusting around everything this week and fluffing up a bit of rug .Unless we get the bedtime beauty routine of putting moisturiser on he his huge long face that takes about 50 dots .I’m surprised he’s not on telling us how he was mobbed on his night out with people wanting a selfie with the great Saint Mario and he was turning water into wine up at the bar for them .
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