Get your face away from me!! Why does he think people want to see this?
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That bell story and the smug smile and self justification was insufferable. My embarrassment had embarrassment. Surely his mafia 
can see it’s a massive reach for him to take all the credit, even if Martin’s narcissism means he can’t.
He really does think he’s turning water into wine doesn’t he?
can see it’s a massive reach for him to take all the credit, even if Martin’s narcissism means he can’t. He really does think he’s turning water into wine doesn’t he?
Do not watch on a 3d enabled deviceOh my Christ ..... that is one bleeping scary nose
Why does the bed need a scarf?
The same old tit . How kind the woman who sent the bed scarf is . He wouldn’t share it if he didn’t think it was quality blah blah blah . He got it free but guess what she sent a 15% discount code for you to buy it . Oh how generous you are Saint Mario . Saint Mario saviour of the small Instagram business .
He is “waiting on a Chinese coming from the Chinese “ Well you learn something new everyday watching Mario .
He is “waiting on a Chinese coming from the Chinese “ Well you learn something new everyday watching Mario .
"So I bought a chunky bed runner for my sister and storied that journey"
Bespokely made finished me off
Bespokely made finished me off
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Bespokely
Statement Piece
Journey
A free bed scarf, that you begged her not to send? My fat arse.
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Journey
A free bed scarf, that you begged her not to send? My fat arse.
I have been doing this all wrong all this time. I've just been ordering stuff on line when it's a bloody journeeeeeee. Mind blown.
Blanket? You can't get stuff like this on the high street. 1. There's more to the High Street than Home Bargains Martin. 2. Thank God, like PinkLoopsy says, it's a bloody scarf.
Also, acting like he's surprised, but then talking about arguing with her about it?
Blanket? You can't get stuff like this on the high street. 1. There's more to the High Street than Home Bargains Martin. 2. Thank God, like PinkLoopsy says, it's a bloody scarf.
Also, acting like he's surprised, but then talking about arguing with her about it?
I don’t understand how he thinks that bed scarf looks nice? There’s also absolutely no need for it to be halfway up the bed, looks so out of place and just wrong.
MARTIN YOU ARE NOT DUSTING PROPERLY IF YOU JUST “DUST AROUND” EVERYTHING. also, could have hoovered your rug before you squeegied it 
Honestly the amount of dots he does these days is incredible. Quality over quantity Mazza. You'll be acting like you're forced to story soon enough and having a wee day off just to gather yourself.
Nobody, NOBODOY forces you to story do much, it's getting ridiculous now Maz!
Calm. The duck. Doon pal.
Nobody, NOBODOY forces you to story do much, it's getting ridiculous now Maz!
Calm. The duck. Doon pal.
This gave me a good laugh yesterday , someone tagged him while cleaning their toilet and he shared it 
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Is it normal to use the same thing to clean your kitchen, bathroom, makeup brushes AND REMOVE FAKE TAN 
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“I’ve done all my kitchen this morning, before I started ‘storymenting’” WTF? He may have said ‘Storying everything’ but I had to listen three times!
Also - “It’s too efficient having a wee tumble dryer”
Does he think electricity is generated by unicorn dust? Ignorant tit.
Also - “It’s too efficient having a wee tumble dryer”
Does he think electricity is generated by unicorn dust? Ignorant tit.
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I thought he said storying anything ... I couldn't be arsed going back on.
I have had a tumble dryer for some years now - maybe it's just me but I only use it to dry clothes that are nearly dry eg off the line if it starts to rain or put tiwls in for 5 mins to fluff them up.
It must take hours to dry a load of laundry just out of the machine. His next bill will be a shock to the system.
His stories regarding the nurse mum- he means well deep down but is he really stupid/ arrogant enough to think that because he’s asked nicely that someone for continuing health care will just overrule precious decisions! Blokes a joke
If he’s a brand rep for Ava May and has his own ‘range’ of wank melts and candles, why the hell is he using Aldi’s ‘budget’ reeds? Surely he would have a stash of his own product?
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But he’s Saint Mario he is the saviour of small businesses , he has brought peace to the world with his wax melts by bringing people together , he is an expert on make up advising women every where what to buy and how to use it ,even advising people what bog brush to use , there is no end to his special powers and influence with his platform
. He can work miracles just by being him 
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I especially like the way that he constantly tells his Mafia that the number of followers he has isn't important.
And yet the evidence suggests otherwise. He posts ever lengthy stories throughout the day (he is addicted to instagram).There was that story about needing to sign up for notifications to keep his engagement numbers up, there's the constant re-posting of people congratulating him for hitting 80K, the fact that he is going to have a drink with Derek (hopefully with the bell of miracles between them) to celebrate hitting this number of followers on his journeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
And yet the evidence suggests otherwise. He posts ever lengthy stories throughout the day (he is addicted to instagram).There was that story about needing to sign up for notifications to keep his engagement numbers up, there's the constant re-posting of people congratulating him for hitting 80K, the fact that he is going to have a drink with Derek (hopefully with the bell of miracles between them) to celebrate hitting this number of followers on his journeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
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