Cleaning With Mario #14 Marion Potter & the Prisoner of Paisley (Derek)

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Oh I thought he ment "all eyes" in his bespoke language
 
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I am sure Elf will be please to know that oor Marion is using their cleansing wipes to clean out his dishes and putting them no where near his bespoke skin and warning all others to not use them.
 
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I am sure Elf will be please to know that oor Marion is using their cleansing wipes to clean out his dishes and putting them no where near his bespoke skin and warning all others to not use them.
Don't you know that he has the rarest skin type. He has to be very careful what he uses. So aye. Nae debates
 
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I see he’s been reading here and corrected himself.
‘It’s a DE humidifier... youse aw know ah jist make it up as I go along’

Never would have guessed!
 
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Youse......youse.....I mean seriously

That e.l.f chat was a chore to listen to! He really needs to rehearse what he’s going to say before he starts wittering on, or at least think before he speaks!
He actually thinks he's some sort of beauty and skincare guru and he's on QVC these days. I hate to burst his bubble but he'll never be a James Welsh or Hyram, he presents himself terribly and comes across as a middle aged man just jumping on whatevers trending now rather than being able to give advice on tailored routines for himself or others during different seasons or when problematic skin happens. He's just so cringe and wasteful!
 
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He buys, often unnecessarily in bulk, one brand after another in the vague hope they'll hire him as the face of the brand and he'll be propelled to stardom. When nothing comes of each story, he looks for something else to buy and the cycle continues... I think it culminated this week with him actually admitting he wants to be a full time influencer and asking for help to achieve it.
 
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God that was painful in the extreme, he really doesn't have a bloody clue. How to piss off e.l.f. and Tatcha at the same time eh - look up "doop" in the dictionary Marj (may have to check your spelling first mind) Literally means deceive, trick, hoax etc - not really the connotation any brand worth their salt looks to cultivate. So aye.....

And so different looking in real life too! Met her out and about in Glasgow a few times and she looks SO different and seems a genuinely nice lady.

Agree, he thinks by tagging them in they'll recognise his potential and snap him up, can you actually imagine - half the folk on here can hardly even understand him and a lot of us are fellow Scots If he's serious he's got to monetize it, that's what gets noticed pure and simple, though seeing as he thought doing (non affiliated!) eBay swipe ups would share his home address I doubt he could manage that by himself.
 
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@Swipeupguyzzz It was sheer genius how well they aged up everyone to play pensioners. Isa was hilarious & she seems nice but I stumbled across Ford & Greg doing a booksigning in Braehead years ago and watched them for a while - so crabbit and hardly cracked a smile.
Anyhoo back on topic if anyone is stumped by the Isa thing this is her....
 
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Oh really, just shows you. I actually met her in a ladies loo in a Glasgow restaurant - I didn't know who she was but my friend was a fan and she was just really nice - bubbly, chatty and funny.

ooh look at me rubbing shoulders with the stars, might head into Debs when our Marj goes back to work - aim for the big one
 
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The big small one you mean I saw him in there once and he is honestly the smallest adult I’ve ever seen in my life apart from dwarves obvs
 
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The big small one you mean I saw him in there once and he is honestly the smallest adult I’ve ever seen in my life apart from dwarves obvs
Yep - I was about to say the biggest small star in Scotland but he must have height on Jimmy Krankie surely
 
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He’s definitely aiming to be seedhills answer to Jamie Geniveve with the make up n shit. He’s a middle aged manboy. Nae budy will he taking tips of advice from you makron. All that make up and skin care and you still look like peewee Herman.
 
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More face mists, how many faces has he got to use all this shit?????
 
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That poor cat bloody hates him no joke

Well Mario you’re never oot the shoaps so lets see your bespoke facemask which is mandatory in Scotland from tomorrow!!

Do you have a boujie ‘Cleaning With Mario’ one so you can alert the unwashed as to who you are as you breeze through small businesses saving them??
 
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Faced with a choice tonight of dissecting Melvin and his latest begs for attention or gin.

I chose gin.

Love you all. I will hold Melvin and his bawbagerry to account tomorrow.

Slainte Mhath (auto correct can fuck right off as well)
 
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