Cleaning with Mario #118 The only way is Essex

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The end of they stories
Really thinks he's something , out of touch or what!
That sofa
Wanted it to be brighter in the livingroom as it looks cold, so went for the whitest grey?
 
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FFS another new sofa. He’s bought Mair sofas in the last year than I’ve bought new knickers.
 
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I sware he said when he got the last one that he hated the scatter cushions at the back , am l wrong do l need to get back in my lane ?

I have so much space , eh where are you going to hide things now ya twat
 
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Fuck sake two sofas in a year? They must be total crap. Had mine nearly 5 years now, cost me 4 grand initially but its still as good as new. It ain't bloody grey either! Stupid little fart
 
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The long story at the start saying it was his "f@ck it year" and he was going out his comfort zone and would stop saying no. I thought we were getting something really exciting like a Collab with a high end company but no it's another gifted sofa from danyell!! How's that out your comfort zone you've had about 10 in the past 3 yrs. Another horrible sofa sorry if I offend anyone but scatter back cushions are minging looks like you could only afford half the sofa so bought some cushions to make it look better. First thing I do when I sit down to get cosy is launch the cushions onto my 1 seater.
 
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A scatter back is no fur me, also. Kills my back and I cannae get comfy.
 
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Naw when I say fuck it this is my year I mean let’s book every holiday night out day out possible not agree to another fucking free couch
Little sad man!!!
How shite must her couches be that it needs replaced in under a year
 
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I sware he said when he got the last one that he hated the scatter cushions at the back , am l wrong do l need to get back in my lane ?

I have so much space , eh where are you going to hide things now ya twat
You are no wrong ma lovelie. He HATED the scatter cushions and they wurny fur him! Spine bright with all that memory power
 
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Aye he defo said he didn’t like the scatter back cushion sofas, I’ve had one before too and they are awful
Anyways ma lovelies when do we think the new bed is being gifted? Before or after another new sofa as he will hate this one soon enough ?
 
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He really hated that auld breeze block think didnt he
This new one is just as bad, cold no cosy, dated and really is OG 2018
As said before, a corner sofa starting at £499? If there is one thing you should spend as much as you can on its quality furniture. Stands the test of time #factual. You gets whit you pay fur or in Marios case you gets a wee commission on any sales fae Dannyelle.
At least the breeze blocks were sturdy fur getting bent orr, wi this wan your knees wid be buckling quicker than you can say New York in America
And whits the "*&%*" it aboot getting a new sofa? whit kind of risk taking is that?
This guy is no right in the heid
Debbie Harris wouldny sit on it also
Tonsa love hens oan this day of Saturday Spine bright and shine yoursells oan people and so forth
 
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He’s a fucking prick. I’m not even gonna start on the sofa because I just can’t deal with it. But he is FORTY YEARS OLD & he’s got a sticker with his name on for his Stanley cup. He’s not a real person is he? He is purely a simulation made for our amusement. He is not a fully functioning adult with full mental capacity. He is no well. Capeesh
 
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I don’t think he’s buying them! It’s a #ad. I think he’ll be gifted them and she’ll take back the old one and sell it on
Imagine being the unfortunate soul buying his old sofa. Reeking of cat shit, weed, sharts and febreze
 
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2013 must have been a good year for sofas! I bought my leather ones then and they are still in brilliant condition. Admittedly not cheap but obviously worth it in fact dammit I quite fancy new ones but no justification to do it! Obviously I would love to get a lovely Hinch grey corner suite with all those bloody cushions but it’ll just have to wait until I am influenced by someone with taste and a home bigger than a Lego set!
 
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