Didn't realise heshe Declan was on Instagram! I saw couple of his videos on tiktok but that app confuses me, and it's no ma joab so ah'm not going tae bother getting tae ken, also.I think mibbies she’s had a wee malfunction with her polyester shorts also.
Ive been on Scottish Declan’s insta instead omg he’s quite something! Him and his partner are like a younger version of Beak & Deek in a parallel universe 🫨
Am away
They cud make a black mirror episode about Martin and nae debates.It’s like I mentioned before. His 40th was his peak, he’s not going to get any more attention than that in the rest of his sad little life either on insta or in real life, and it was pitiful to say the least.
He won’t get any more popular on insta than he is now, because he offers nothing new or interesting (just comedy for tattle) & his next big birthday will be his 50th and I highly doubt insta will still be around.
His birthday proved he has no friends outside “this app” so once it goes, he’ll be left with nobody except Derek. And even his fake insta pals sent presents late as an afterthought and did him dirty with that dinner by not letting him know.
He had 3 meals out for his birthday. One with his family, one with Derek and one with the fake insta Huns. That’s it. No special night away or holiday, nothing out of the ordinary to mark the occasion. Just dinner in 3 different places.
He said he was going to make this his year on insta, but he’s achieved nothing with it. He got invited to one event off the back of Hinch and Hannah but nothing else.
So unless they ever do get married, he’ll never be as much the centre of attention as last week. That really was it for him. Hence the ‘am no well’
Well my lovely, I believe Martin is unable to move forward with any big plans or move at all come to think of it because the fat slag, the OG of that app, has spent the past however many years just spending all his petty cash on plastic leaves that smell of piss, wax melts and numerous other bits of tat (like a holder for his Molten Brown soap) that he hasn't needed nor has he the room for and unfortunately for Martin he can only dream.Hay Mario, Your mate Wheatcroft that you copy has obviously done ok to move where he is. What's your big plans?
Hes probably spent all his petty cash on flowers and criss to sent to HIMSELF to look loved and can’t afford his bus fare to get into work this week.He’s deffo off sick. He’s one of them people at work who you can guarantee always rings in sick after their annual leave. Yes a cold can make you feel like shit but you just have to get up and get on with it, most of us can’t stay festering in our bedsits. I bet money he’ll be back this weekend, hoose fully submerged in fishy leaves and pumpkins, but remember he doesnae do Halloween also.
That’s undoubtedly the best thing about WheatcroftI can't stand Wheatcroft either. He reminds me of Penfold from Danger Mouse with those poxy glasses. I suppose he does serve a purpose in reminding Mario what he could have accomplished if he was able to string a sentence together.. so there is that
He will be back this weekend, saying "Omg I have completely gutted thisHe’s deffo off sick. He’s one of them people at work who you can guarantee always rings in sick after their annual leave. Yes a cold can make you feel like shit but you just have to get up and get on with it, most of us can’t stay festering in our bedsits. I bet money he’ll be back this weekend, hoose fully submerged in fishy leaves and pumpkins, but remember he doesnae do Halloween also.
Her hands make me feel sick. She’s 35 with hands like Mary Berry
And sizeHer hands make me feel sick. She’s 35 with hands like Mary Berry
Bet that's what Mario's wee button looks like in Derek's wee baby hand
Like this henBet that's what Mario's wee button looks like in Derek's wee baby hand
Hen dinnae bother with “that vile app” & stick to your passions and so forthDidn't realise heshe Declan was on Instagram! I saw couple of his videos on tiktok but that app confuses me, and it's no ma joab so ah'm not going tae bother getting tae ken, also.
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