Childfree

[Silly Sausage]

I had a short phase around 31 where I really wanted to get pregnant. It felt like a hormonal thing, it's hard to explain.

 

[liochamb]

Anyone else childfree?

Childless = can't have children for whatever reason, could be medical, etc.

Childfree = someone that chooses not to have children.

I am an only child and have known since I was quite young that I didn't want children. It can be quite annoying as I am at that age where people are having kids, and people feel like it is their business to ask when I will have kids. There almost still seems to be a taboo against women who choose not to have children which is frustrating.

Let's keep this civil

I'm childfree too. For all the time of my conscious choice, I understood things:
1. Refers philosophically to similar questions from other people
2. Do not impose or try to prove your position - the nerves will be more whole

 

[bexgreen1983]

I have 2 and can 100% see why people choose not to have children. I have friends like this but it's their life and their decision (noone else's). Also who is to say that they can even have children.

 

[Chewycinema]

Before I had my bub I used to always say "but I'm a baby and I can barely look after me"
I've got pcos so didnt know if I could or if, like my mum did, put myself through trying for years and various medications etc so a couple of months before I fell pregnant I was starting to think that I didnt want kids. When I found out I was pregnant it took me about a week to accept but I knew I wanted her and I wouldnt have it any other way.

 

[working9-5]

Thank you... I have cakes for tomorrow and just going to make a nice meal and watch old films. My period was due today but looks like Mother Nature is gifting me her presence on my birthday so will probably be hugging a hot water bottle all day, thank god I’ve got cakes

Oh that is bad luck! A nice meal, cake and films sound great. Enjoy.

 

[Jm564]

I have 1 child - we weren’t really sure whether we were going to have kids or not. He was sort of unplanned but we weren’t using contraception and we were happy about it.

I LOVED being pregnant. I just loved all of it - but I had a completely easy, stress free pregnancy. I adore my little lad, he’s the best thing to ever happen to me. But I think we also could have been just as happy without him. It’s just a different life.. no better no worse. And it is bloody hard, makes everything else I’ve ever done seem like a walk in the park. He’s nearly 1 and I’ve had less full night sleeps than I can count on one hand.

And we’re certainly not in a hurry for anymore!!

 

[JOHN1967]

Completely agree! Women can't have it all, they are e pected to do it all though! Look after your kids, have a career, have a social life, care for family members, babysit, have a lovely clean home, keep fit, make sure you look great all the time, oh, and don't forget your husband needs sex every day and blow jobs 4 times a week or he'll be off fucking 22 year old Laura from reception because you're boring.

TMI I think.

 

[sushimama]

Is it not mandatory to allow part time hours after birth? In my country you can demand half time hours up to child's 3. year and if you have another then until the youngest goes to school which is 6. So basically you can only work half time for 10+ years (but the pay is probably terrible then).

 

[Death2unicorns]

This is like me going into a parenting thread telling you how a child would ruin you life.

Well that would be fine as I really don’t care too much about a strangers opinion on the internet lol

 

[Giggling Squid]

Me and my partner are childfree. I’ve always been adamant I don’t want to have children, my partner can’t have children so it works well for us, however as I get older I am starting to wonder if I do in fact want children but haven’t a clue where to even start, and couldn’t afford to anyway.

 

[Keikochan]

Were you thinking of tube-tying? They seal your Fallopian tubes so no eggs are released.

Yeap that's the one! They can either remover the tubes or make them blocked by using heat to cause scares on the inside to block them. I know you get put asleep for it so it is a big enough surgery.
Is this an elective surgery does anyone know?

 

[Sheabutter]

I'm happy with my life now with my dogs. I can't imagine having loads of children running around me. I like looking after my partner, and myself, and our animals

If you don’t mind me asking, approximately how old are you and your partner?

 

[Mamacita]

It’s funny you say this because it’s something I’ve thought for a while, and if it blew up with my partner and he decides he does want kids and it’s non negotiable I’ve said I’ll let him go but I’ll certainly let him know on the way out he should have gone out with me for ME, not the possibility I could/would give him kids!!
But I admit, and I hope I’m not alone, (in the past) if the question came up on a date I’d just go along and say ‘yeah I want kids one day’ because it’s ‘just what you say’ isn’t it? I reckon a large proportion of men wouldn’t have a second date if you say you don’t want kids, and I actually think that’s really sad and testament to how men are raised to view women as just baby making machines!

This always bothers me about dating and relationships..I think it’s weird that someone wouldn’t want to date you because you don’t want children and I’d be offended…you don’t date someone based on the fact they can give you kids in the future…doesn’t that reduce a woman to nothing but a baby making machine?? Besides what if you medically can’t have kids?

Not sure this even makes sense haha but I hope you get what I’m trying to say

But what if they want kids? Should they go out with someone who doesn't?

 

[Abcd123]

As I understand it, you have a right to request part time hours, which the employer must reasonably consider, but it is not guaranteed.

I’m sure there are others on here who are more savvy with employment law than I am who will know the exact and up to date rules.

Myself and 2 colleagues all requested to go part time and we're all refused. This is a secondary school. A very poorly managed one, that's been in and out of special measures for years mind!

 

[Rebby123]

A lot of women have been sold a bit of a myth with that. Freezing your eggs is no guarantee and the success rate is still pretty low. IVF too. If you’re that keen to have a child, the younger the better really I’m afraid!

Oh I have no idea

 

[Leahcar2019]

A little different but
I am lucky to have two children, much loved and much wanted. Me and my husband planned to have them young, & travel once they were at uni/older. It didn’t turn out that way. My youngest is severely disabled and will require my care for the rest of her life - she will never fly the nest so to speak. All our previous future plans we had now won’t materialise; I say this because my sister is childfree, she is being questioned more & more about having a family and people can’t seem to accept her decision. I fully support her, and think it’s brilliant that she’s sticking to what’s true for her, I encourage her to have all the life experiences/travel/dreams etc that she could want and not feel pressured into what family/society think she should do with her life! I admire her and all the ladies that have chosen this path so much, it’s just so ridiculous that in 2020 people can’t accept that women can choose what to do what they want with their own bodies and lives!

I'm sorry to hear your story - thanks for sharing it xx

What book are you getting? I love that we have this thread for discussion on this topic. It is nice to see people's opinions.

Me too. Two actually - The baby decision was the one recommended and then childfree and loving it - they both have good reviews.