Childfree

[isabellalovescats]

My dad started saying he wants grandchildren so I got a lovely big boy of a cat. Now, my parents Skype with him and call him grandson. ‍

 

[Blond3g1rl]

If one doesn’t like to be judged for not having kids, why so many judgey comments about people that do have kids We should just let everyone make their own choices without the judging. I used to wonder how people could even think about not having children (until I had my own And realised what a sacrifice it was) and I never saw it as rude to ask, but I’ve educated myself and would now never ask someone those questions anymore

I don’t make any comments towards people with kids. On the other hand I’ve been told that my life isn’t complete, that I’m not part of a family, I’ll regret it, I won’t have anyone to look after me when I’m old, I’m not a real woman. Need I go on?

 

[hiya_hun]

I think there are judgemental opinions happening here on both sides.

If you're happily childfree, why feel the need to come and wax lyrical about it? Smile smugly when you get catty comments from people, and go and live your life quietly on your own.

I don't think now is the time to really be debating something which in truth, is not a priority for most people right now.

For what it's worth, I am working from home with 3 kids on my own (other half is a very important key worker). Am I frazzled? Yes. Am I laughing heartily at all the frazzled parent memes? Yes. Do I look forward to our 90 mins outdoor exercise, followed by dinner, bedtime and WINE? YES!

But can I think of anything more dull than sitting in my quiet house, watching Netflix, having a nice run and then a sit down all day.... For weeks.... Or months..... No. I can't.

We all make our choices, if not wanting to be tired or stressed sometimes is what stops you from having kids then great, it's obviously not for you. But own that decision and live your life accordingly. Threads which end up as catty as this one aren't right.

Peace out folks

I would love to know why a frazzled parent of 3 is even on a thread titled 'childfree' and feeling the need to comment.

I certainly don't read threads on potty training, home schooling or peppa pig episodes. Because it's not my life and I'm happy it isn't! Those things don't interest me.

There is no need to come on here, as the previous poster did, and say how 'there's no love like it'. there are threads here ASKING opinions on 'do you regret having kids?' and that is where these comments belong.

This is a thread for the childfree to peacefully chat about their quiet quarantines. If you are happy with your kids then chat about it on a thread that cares?

 

[Mamacita]

Saw this and thought of this thread

 

[Smca53]

I’m wondering if anyone finds they have a similar experience in their working life… I find that I (along with other child free members of the team) are expected to take on a lot more work than those with kids, because they are seen as having busier lives and needing extra help at work. I mean, they’re being paid to do a job, those in the team without kids didn’t force them to have kids. Why should we suffer for it?

I also find they expect/demand more money because they do have children. I’m not worth any less in a working environment because I don’t have kids to support.

 

[Pixipoppy]

Literally cannot understand why anyone would want to bring a child into this shitshow of a planet at the moment

 

[hydeist]

It's not something I've explored but as I am at risk of having inherited and possibly passing on a nasty genetic condition I often wonder if I would be eligible for sterilisation if I asked for it. My partner is willing to have the snip but I think they are a bit funny about doing that on men who don't have children as well. I would like to not have to take the pill and have the fear of contraception failing!

I have now stopped using hormonal contraception (life changing!!!) and am now considering the future options. But honestly I'm terrified to go to my GP and start asking about sterilisation - my partner has said that he doesn't have a problem having a vasectomy if my GP refuses, but my entire life it's been ME who looked after me, ME who made sure I didn't get pregnant. And I would prefer to continue that way, what if I split from my partner down the road? Then I'm back where I began.

It just seems almost impossible to get sterilised in the UK if you haven't had children already and it's honestly a fucking insult to our intelligence. As if I got to my thirties and got a degree and a career but I'm still considered too stupid by the NHS to be trusted when I say I don't want children in case I change my mind. Fuck off!

 

[Oblivion]

Sorry to derail the pet conversation, but what the actual fuck are gender reveal parties or pregnancy announcements?? Congratulations, someone came inside you, so you want a gift now?

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

Yeah, who's more selfish? Childfree people or the fucking Radfords cluttering up the universe and wasting resources because they have an obsession with creating children.

 

[Saddlesoap]

I love it when this thread pops up again and I read the new posts and just nod at the comments thinking yep.

 

[CatCafe234]

Have you seen Jules Oliver? She's apparently had five miscarriages which is an awful thing for anyone to try and cope with, but at 46 and with five healthy children, she STILL wants more and is considering having IVF.
Just why?

Jamie Oliver's wife Jools Oliver, 46, says she is considering IVF

The wife of celebrity chef Jamie Oliver candidly revealed she feared she could lose her life before seeking medical help while she suffered her second miscarriage.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Having lots of kids is one of those things that’s a total status symbol for the rich, but is looked down on when poor people do it. I don’t have kids so this probably isn’t my argument, but it does wind me up a bit when you see wealthy people going on about climate change and overpopulation whilst having massive families themselves. There’s a real element of ‘it’s ok if I have four or five kids as a rich, white Westerner, but it’s terrible when those poor people in other countries have lots of children’. I can’t stand BoJo and one of the reasons is because he lectures about climate and sustainability whilst having seven(? eight? - who knows?) kids. It’s a reductive argument but you can’t deny that if you’re serious about saving the planet, one of the most impactful things to do is not have a child …

 

[ElectricDreams]

I'm 39 and a third school friend has just announced on Facebook that they are about to become a grandparent! I cannot comprehend this

 

[dotiedot]

Say it louder for people at the back

 

[Base2019]

I’m enjoying reading all these posts. I have recently been told I won’t ever be able to have my own children. It’s good for me to learn and read about child free life and see that it can be enjoyable too. Thanks for helping me

 

[SassyShetland]

I get really wound up by parents resenting the fact that as a child free couple who both work we can afford nice things!

The amount of times we get it thrown in our face about the fact we have nice cars, holidays (pre-covid), meals out, new clothes etc. And we are always being told "well we last went out 7 years ago" "we haven't had a proper holiday in 9 years" "I haven't had new trainers in 5 years because the kids need xyz"...yawn. that's why I have chosen not to have kids. Noone forced you to get pregnant

couldn’t agree more! They’ve decided to spend there disposable income on crotch goblins, I decide to spend it on espresso martinis, handbags and whatever the heck takes my fancy

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

There’s nothing worse than when people won’t teach their little darlings some manners, just because they don’t mind their child’s behaviour.

I was barely allowed to breathe in public as a child without getting a dirty look that meant “if you don’t behave, you’ll get a slap when we get home”.

I feel like so many children these days are worshipped and are made to feel like the world revolves around them, wasn’t like when I was growing up in the 90’s (or at least it wasn’t for me!)

Nothing worse than going to a museum and there’s little darlings screaming and pushing and shoving, teach your children some manners around strangers!

 

[Cocopops91]

I’m childfree. I’m 28 years old, single and working my way up the career ladder. Unfortunately anyone who doesn’t follow the social norm (of find a partner > buy a house > get married > have kids > work a miserable job > die) is seen as weird or not normal or something?! I don’t want kids, I’m not interested in a relationship either. I want a good job and enough spare time and money to experience different cultures, be spontaneous (to a degree) and be a bit selfish by doing what I want when I want to. I rent my flat because I can’t get a big enough mortgage in the south west where I am from (someone suggested I move somewhere cheaper up north for the sole purpose of buying a home. Why would I do that when my family, friends and job are here?!) and that seems to baffle people too! I also make the decision to not accrue any debts so if I can’t afford something I don’t have it, not having material possessions on finance all over the place seems to baffle some too...

 

[hereforthedrama1]

This is the thread I dreamed of. I am childfree and have been adamant on the fact this is how I will remain since I was a child myself. I do not like children, I'd sometimes go as far to say I hate them. I'm an anti-natalist (I think that's the word) I believe the world is dangerously over populated and that having children in this current climate is extremely selfish/stupid. England has been in and out of lockdown for the last 16 months and I know of loads upon loads of people who have purposely gotten pregnant and given birth in that 16 months, they will then go on to complain that no one can come and see baby, moan about hospitals etc. As if they didn't know there was a pandemic and these restrictions are readily available for you to find out about! Sorry but you get no sympathy from me. I've been with my bf for 4.5 years and the pressure people try to instil is ridiculous. I really don't care if you 'were married with kids at my age' because I will never be married or have kids. And these same people openly express how much they dislike their own kids, why did you have kids if you don't like them? Chiming in on the couple of posts about men being congratulated for every small thing, I 100% agree. Society coddles these grown ass adults far too much for things that are just normal things to do. Maybe life in the 60s was different but people need to realise that times have in fact changed and that men are fully capable of looking after themselves and sometimes (shock, horror) other people

 

[SavetheDrama]

I’m childfree. I’m 28 years old, single and working my way up the career ladder. Unfortunately anyone who doesn’t follow the social norm (of find a partner > buy a house > get married > have kids > work a miserable job > die) is seen as weird or not normal or something?! I don’t want kids, I’m not interested in a relationship either. I want a good job and enough spare time and money to experience different cultures, be spontaneous (to a degree) and be a bit selfish by doing what I want when I want to. I rent my flat because I can’t get a big enough mortgage in the south west where I am from (someone suggested I move somewhere cheaper up north for the sole purpose of buying a home. Why would I do that when my family, friends and job are here?!) and that seems to baffle people too! I also make the decision to not accrue any debts so if I can’t afford something I don’t have it, not having material possessions on finance all over the place seems to baffle some too...

Every time you don't conform to others' expectations, it offends them because they feel like you're invalidating their life choices by making different ones. People are weird

 

[Blond3g1rl]

I would pay extra for child free flights.