Childfree by Choice #8 Parents keep scrolling, we don’t need your trolling!

[pinkmug]

I always find it hard to think of things I genuinely regret doing because I'm so on board with the mindset that everything you do/everyone you meet teaches you something, whether it's that you didn't want to do that thing or that relationship ended because of X trait in a person that you realise you can't tolerate, etc. Even with things I sometimes find I regret, like not doing a year abroad at uni for example, I can always see how it could've gone wrong too - I had really poor mental health at uni and was struggling to be away from home as it was, so if I had done a year abroad it might've been catastrophic for me. And that's how I feel about having kids, I think even if I ever do end up regretting not having them, I would always think 'well what if I did have them and hated it?' I would rather have that regret than have a child I didn't actually want to have, not least because I do not want to ever be someone responsible for causing emotional damage and harm to a child. That's actually one of the reasons I find it absolutely bizarre when people say it's 'selfish' not to have children, for me it's not only the fact that I don't want one, it's that having a child you don't want or are reluctant to really spend time with/parent properly is very damaging and that's just not a risk I'm prepared to run.

I agree. I've had so many regrets already and I'm not even mid 30s yet. I figure regret doesn't have to mean the weight of guilt. So I've been telling myself that hindsight is always 20/20 and I've made the best decisions for myself at the time with the knowledge and the opportunities I had back then. Could many things have been handled better? Without a doubt, but not by me as I wasn't able to. What I had done was the best choice for past-me. So in the future if I end up having regrets, I'll know it was the right decision for 30, 40, 50 y/o me.

How will you guys be spending the weekend?

 

[Jane Porcupine]

I'll be spending mine (and the next two weeks) in Mexico.

 

[flutternutter]

Car shopping...

 

[Greencatfysh]

It’s my birthday! Boozy dinner out with my family and siblings tonight (0 children between us so far!) and surprise day planned by my bf tomorrow. I know it’ll involve food and wine…

 

[ElectricDreams]

We won't be going far this weekend thanks to the chickenpox kids manage to s foil your weekend even when you don't have them yourself

 

[shadowcat5]

Mine will be spent sleeping, eating, reading, and a leisurely walk. Still recovering from the major burnout so taking it easy. Thankfully I have a bunch of freezer meals built up so I don’t even have to cook this weekend

 

[LaBlonde]

It’s my birthday! Boozy dinner out with my family and siblings tonight (0 children between us so far!) and surprise day planned by my bf tomorrow. I know it’ll involve food and wine…

happy birthday! have a lovely day and weekend

 

[Interestingbitsnbats]

Hope I don't sound a selfish person but the older I get i find it hard to be sociable. I can't imagine anything worse than a child dependent on me all the time.
I can only just cope with a day or two when my stepdaughter down. Where it seems that's my time to be a parent to my partner

 

[Greencatfysh]

We won't be going far this weekend thanks to the chickenpox kids manage to s foil your weekend even when you don't have them yourself

So true. My best friend has a 5 year old daughter and her and the daughter are ill ALL the time. So whenever I try and see her it’s either for 2 hours cos she can’t be away from her for that long or she’s unwell. That’s literally her whole life.

 

[emm]

Blue crayon scrawled over 230-year-old Sabrina statue at Croome

A statue of Sabrina and a memorial to Capability Brown at Croome is covered in blue crayon.

www.bbc.com

Someones little angel devil has done this!

Why on earth would a child have a crayon somewhere like that?!
---
No plans for my weekend, thr usual lie in and some nice food. Have broken a toe so am glad I don't have anyone (except the cats) to look after so I can spend the weekend with my feet up!

 

[Interestingbitsnbats]

Fuming

 

[shadowcat5]

Fuming

arguably, if you’re paying for a specifically child free space (eg adult only hotels) then you are entitled for it to be child free?

 

[GirlOnTheTrain]

Fuming

I’ve just skimmed this but a couple of things: First she’s bemoaning the fact that someone said she’d need to keep her kid quiet…in a LIBRARY…ffs. Everyone has to be quiet…it’s a library!! Second, this quote: “no parent believes that children have the right to run riot…”…err really?!

 

[Norfolking Good]

I think that article really hits the nail on the head (whether it intended to or not) that it’s the god awful parents who seem to think their little sunbeams have the right to do what they want when they wish. The kids are brought up thinking the world revolves around them so know no different. It’s really sad that a generation of kids literally can’t cope with the word no or having any consequences (which I get to see every day with our new 17yo apprentice at work who seems to think she can do whatever and apparently go home when she has had enough!!)

 

[Blond3g1rl]

I think that article really hits the nail on the head (whether it intended to or not) that it’s the god awful parents who seem to think their little sunbeams have the right to do what they want when they wish. The kids are brought up thinking the world revolves around them so know no different. It’s really sad that a generation of kids literally can’t cope with the word no or having any consequences (which I get to see every day with our new 17yo apprentice at work who seems to think she can do whatever and apparently go home when she has had enough!!)

This is the issue. The little darlings are now making their way into the work place and finding out how the world really functions.

 

[JoeBloggs]

O/T
I had chickenpox as a kid and got shingles as an adult. It doesn't prevent shingles at all. You catch chickenpox, and the virus remains dormant in most people, but can be reactivated by all kinds of things later in life and it turns into shingles.

We had chick pox parties, I remember it well, my best friend and she sister and I spent all week together as we all had it. We were always told to get it because it’s very dangerous as an adult, you can only get shingles if you had had chickenpox. I’ve had shingles twice. I’d never heard the theory about not getting shingles.
---

Fuming

Parents can’t seem to accept how many child friendly places there are. They would kick if if a bunch of adults went to softplay.

Everyone has the right to Childfree spaces if they pay for them. Parents also need to accept their children need to behave in certain environments.

 

[flutternutter]

I think that article really hits the nail on the head (whether it intended to or not) that it’s the god awful parents who seem to think their little sunbeams have the right to do what they want when they wish. The kids are brought up thinking the world revolves around them so know no different. It’s really sad that a generation of kids literally can’t cope with the word no or having any consequences (which I get to see every day with our new 17yo apprentice at work who seems to think she can do whatever and apparently go home when she has had enough!!)

Our apprentice is exactly the same. Mummys little soldier. Wants a pat on the back for switching his laptop on goes into shock when you tell them they have to ASK for time off, they can't just phone in cba one day

 

[drewydrop]

Went for brunch earlier with my friends and their 10 children. It was chaos, loads of other kids there too just running about screaming/ crying, in and out to the playground. I did feel like the odd one out of the whole restaurant as it was mainly all women with children. Tbf a group of 3 dads came in with their young ones. It just sometimes baffles me that people choose that life when it’s just talk of schools, clubs and where they’re ferrying them off to next. It just doesn’t look or sound fun. I’m now off to sit in a silent room for a few hours to recharge.

 

[Chocolategoggler]

Please tell me they're back to school next week

 

[LaBlonde]

not sure if this has been shared yet but this is an amazing article that’s worth a read:

Opinion: Women without children aren’t selfish – we’re self aware

For years I’ve wondered why it’s acceptable for sexuality and gender to be on a spectrum, but not the proclivity to procreate

www.independent.co.uk