Childfree by choice #6 Sleeping well at night, petition for childfree flights

[rosemarina]

Men take Childfree posts made by women personally because it reminds them that in the modern world they are not needed.

If men are not needed then the beliefs that they are superior to women falls apart. Some men have nothing but their sense of ego. As more women get educated and experience more freedom, this category of men feels endangered. Which leads to men being aggressive online.

We could have a whole talk about the rise of the "nice guy" or the "wife guy". A bunch of men pretending to adapt to the modern era but eventually show their misogyny. ie : not pulling their weight at home, refusing to date women who earn more, etc

Agreed, and I think also they want us to suffer, and can’t believe it’s not mandatory.

 

[SarcasticEllis]

I agree. It’s grim. It’s no different from running a children’s home. How do you have a conversation with your parents when you’re fighting against that many other children?

children’s homes would never be allowed to operate at that ratio and with the standard of care/parenting shown by the Radfords. It’s a bloody joke for those kids, with their family spun as a cute novelty. There’s no way they’re getting what they need as humans.

 

[Anne1448]

I wonder how they'll fund the pension if no one's prepared to have children? They'll probably get rid of it - any excuse.

France is trying to solve this by having more immigrants. Especially young people.

Since immigrants usually cannot afford to go back to school to get a degree which is in line with the highest paid jobs they are more likely to accept low paid jobs. It's a way for the French government to get a ton of workers who pay for the pensions of the older population.

 

[Gem_woody]

I have the paperwhite and I love it!

Don't get a fire.

I second this! Just recently upgraded from an older kindle to a paperwhite. I love being able to read in bed in the dark now so that I don't disturb my partner when he's sleeping

 

[Codiaeum]

The kindle fire is a cheap tablet.

So you can get the kindle app but you don't get the benefits of the kindle (e-ink, no glare, light, huge amounts of storage etc)

I had 2 kindle fires before finally admitting they are shit and getting an ipad. The app choice is very limited, they get slow very quickly and they aren't great as a kindle.

If you need a tablet then get an ipad. If you just want to play candy crush and maybe read a book then get a fire but don't try to read it outside.

All of this and more I had three Fire Tablets (plus my beloved Kindle, I had my first in 2009), but the app choice truly isn't great and their format isn't meant for reading, it's not comfortable to hold, etc. The E-Ink display of the Kindles is meant to mimic reading on paper, has no glare, etc, while the Fires are really just a tablet. I got my boyfriend's old iPad after that last Fire and will never look back, it's so much better. With the Fire I never could imagine giving up my big computer but with the ipad I can finally see why some people do it.

 

[LaBlonde]

i feel we’re about to get a mod warning so - in advance - mods we will not mention the mum threads anymore it ain’t worth it!

ladies, minor intermission over, let’s go back to being our amazing childfree selves

 

[sushimama]

I'm not from the UK and we have 1 year of full pay but our birth rate is still declining haha.

 

[Pebbleybeach]

Sorry if this is slightly off-topic, please send me away if so but hopefully you'll see the link here!

I am childfree and single, I live alone and am very happy with my lifestyle. If I meet someone some day, so be it, but I don't feel like I am missing anything in my life (a pay rise wouldn't hurt ). I have a great group of (childfree) friends, we holiday together regularly, I am close with my family.


Recently, my Dad was talking how he hopes to retire soon - which of course I fully encourage, he's worked for 44+ years. However he made a comment that he wants me to be "settled down" first (i.e. with a partner that can 'look after' me??). I said to him, what if I never get into a relationship? I'm content with the people I have in my life. He said "I will always be here for you", which is lovely of course, but it made me a bit uncomfortable as now I feel a pressure that he won't be happy retiring until I am "settled down"?

I'm sure others here have also experienced comments from their parents about their lifestyle choices. I'm just hoping I can convince him I am just fine!!

There’s a single by choice thread on here somewhere as well!

 

[Anne1448]

Yes my sister. She spent the first 30 years of her life saying she hated kids, never wanted them and just wanted dogs. Then she mistakenly got pregnant because of a mess up with her pill, she sadly had a miscarriage but that made her almost obsessed with the idea of having a baby. She obviously loves her daughter and works hard to provide for her but I still see no maternal instinct and she has zero patience, my niece will for certain be an only child.

Isn't this called "experimental child" or something like that?

It is more talked about among men. They swear they don't want kids then when a "oops moment" happen they want to keep it. Fast forward and they do everything in their power to either not spend time with the child or straight up walk away from the child's existence.

 

[LaBlonde]

Don't take it to heart. I had a look and all I can say is, I'm extremely happy with the decision I made and that thread has cemented it for me

thank you

i think it just upset me a bit because it’s the one and only thing that ever gives me pause about being childfree so it hit a nerve i think. also seemed a very cruel comment in a forum that also has infertility and ivf advice threads but there we go.

 

[shadowcat5]

this is one that drives me mad. she wants her baby to sit in lectureshttps://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/student-distraught-after-university-suspends-28716957?fbclid=IwAR2Z1CEJEgEubD0izHCHIk7sq9Pz0bxAI6sPlKT3vtNKixdgR-yh0lJCpuQ
I’d be fuming if my son had to sit there trying to study wile. A selfish self entitled mum dragged her baby along. I’d understand it could happen once in a emergency but constantly oh no no no

Student 'distraught' as university suspends her for taking baby son to lectures

Leah Foster has been forced to put her studies on hold after the University of Derby told her she wouldn't be welcome on campus if she insisted on bringing her son into class

www.mirror.co.uk

Especially given how expensive uni is! It's bad enough you have to pay 9000 to watch a lecturer teach from a powerpoint

 

[Chandler Bing]

This is such a taboo topic and I might be starting shit but the ability to keep my body the same is a huge plus for me.

When I see the way some pregnant women's body are straight up deformed to accommodate a child scares me. My family has a history with women have twins quite often and I cannot explain the absolute disgust that I feel when I see their bodies.

Apparently your feet grow too! I already have size 9 feet, I don't need them getting any bigger thanks!

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

Only if you don’t have any money or assets. Otherwise they force that on the family as we have experienced. This is why have POA is so important for family, I already have it for my parents in their 60s just I case.

Always best to have your plans and arrangements made in advance.

Yes, but if you end up coming to harm or near harm or your needs aren’t being met, social services can intervene and state you cannot stay in your home and must go into a care home instead. Whether it’s state funded or not is another matter, but they can prevent a person from going home.

 

[pinkmug]

Probably a very controversial opinion but I know a lot of people who I'm sure keep having kids just because it allows them to have an excuse not to do f all with their time, get free money and benefits and gives them a sense of achievement because they haven't done much. Their whole identity is their children and when one grows up and goes into school, they have another just to continue this sense of being busy and having something to do. Then they will moan about how they don't have time to do anything and how it must be nice to travel/get a degree/have a nice job but they can't cos they have kids.... it's so funny.

I totally agree. These will be the ones not understanding how an adult may choose to fill their time with something other than playing diaper-basketball with the bin or stressing about book day costumes at 11pm. When people have nothing going on in their lives (however simple or grand) they tend to cling to their kids and judge others for their "empty lives".

 

[Chandler Bing]

Me and my husband do the same! We are members, it’s a lovely place for a walk & a picnic and then we sometimes go to Cheshire oaks after for a meal!

We’ve been slagged off loads for it. I don’t think kids appreciate zoos personally!

Last time I went to the zoo with my niece and nephew, they just wanted their tablets the whole time!

 

[prozacprincess]

I cared for my Grandma when she died. I kind of regret being there as it traumatised me, but I know she worried about being alone at the end so I had to be there for her.

 

[littlewonder]

why did they feel the need to come here and then go back and basically laugh at us? absolutely no need for it, we don’t do that in their thread

agreed I don’t go on the gender critical thread because I know I’ll be upset by the opinions there… so I avoid it. i haven’t looked at what they’re saying about this thread as life is too short to spend time hurting your own feelings (even though we apparently have unlimited time to ourselves!) xxx

ETA: just cos we’re on this thread doesn’t mean we agree with all of the child free opinions

 

[mousey]

This reminds me of an experience I had in subway the other day. Lunchtime so a long queue, there is a family of 4 stood in the queue and about 4 people in front of them. Get to the counter and they're asking the little one what he wants. Kid is about 5/6. He kept asking for stuff they wouldn't let him have (which i guess is fair enough cause some of it is spicy but like ) and then they went through the whole process with the other kid who was about 3. over 5 minutes later they're still stood there and haven't even told them what bread they want yet. I am all for kids having a choice but you have been in the queue for ages which is plenty of time to explain what is on offer for him or failing that, just decide for him but you're holding the rest of us up who only have an hour for lunch!

how did you not manage to go mad??? That would drive me absolutely insane!!

 

[xxAprilxx]

I have the paperwhite and I love it!

Don't get a fire.

I second this! Just recently upgraded from an older kindle to a paperwhite. I love being able to read in bed in the dark now so that I don't disturb my partner when he's sleeping

Absolutely get a Paperwhite, I convinced about seven people to get one after they saw mine and they all love them. Don’t get a Fire and don’t get the cheapest Kindle without the light, the Paperwhite really is the best thing out there!

Thank you all I've got some John Lewis vouchers to use so shall be ordering one tomorrow. x

 

[mdizzl3]

I love hanging out with my mum and dad but hardly anyone I know (late 20s) hangs out with their parents much. Some of the friends i went to school with moved abroad, and I know a lot of people who don’t speak/aren’t on good terms with their parents. Having kids is not a solution to loneliness

I like mine but I’m not a “family” person, I see them every few months and that’s enough for me. They’re people in their 50s that I don’t have loads in common with apart from memories and being related, at the end of the day! My worst nightmare would be to have one of those families that live on my road and come round for tea every day, do not want anything like that. Luckily my more weird/bigoted ones family members abroad If I did have a kid I would kick them out at 18, cannot be dealing with 30-somethings living at home. One of my friends earns 80k but is so bad with money he still lives with his parents at 30 and has saved fuck all (but has a BMW and goes for Michelin star meals and holidays). Imagine thinking parenting ends at 18 then having to deal with that.