Chessie King #2 Cheap Ring, I’ve got a baby don’t you know darling?

[Farmer Sam]

I find it ludicrous and frustrating that there’s a glut of “influencers” who’ve had babies recently and seem obsessed with telling us that they can’t cope without expert (gifted) help and that they’re desperate to get back to a routine. Hello!!!!!!! A newborn IS your routine!!! By all means try and carve out things that help but trust me, you can’t shape them into something that fits your own life after a few weeks!!! And it won’t change for about ….17 years???!
If you don’t want your life, routines, sleep, work, relationships to be turned on their head whilst your baby grows then here’s an idea. DO NOT HAVE A BABY YET?!!

 

[Farmer Sam]

Tippedytop tips Turn up an let the trained staff do their thing

Genuinely surprised she didn’t open the sun roof herself and just wummage about in the speshul scrumma mumma woooooomy wooms

 

[Alexlilz]

Chessie King #3 Writes like an English lit mock, Mat's an annoying cock, do you want Rae on social media or not?!

 

[Starry_eyed_pie]

So guys, it happened! Baby Pie arrived early, but that just means I get to practise the top-notch parenting hacks that I've learnt from Chessie sooner.

Just now I was feeding my ScrummaBaba (from my boobs, if that wasn't clear!!) And the other leaky leaky milky milk-maker started to let down. So I grabbed the nearest muslin and stuffed it in my bra.
Then, when ScrummaBaba had finished feeding, I whipped off my clothes and fashioned a top from the muslin before gurning in to my camera... I mean I put on new ones and stuck a breast pad in because I'm not a dick.

 

[PollyPocket93]

EVERY SINGLE influencer who becomes a new mum tries to hop onto the 'body confidence/self-love' train, to the point where they all trot out the exact same clichés (how when they were younger they used to hate their stomach and think they were fat but now they *love* their wobbly stomachs and stretch marks and scars because their body was able to grow a tiny human, and their scars are a constant reminder of this miracle, and they're *so* grateful to their bodies now and we should *love* our bodies too). It no longer feels genuine and it certainly is not trailblazing or inspirational when any of them comes out with that stuff anymore. It annoys the hell out of me.

 

[Starry_eyed_pie]

Thank the Gods that Chessie 'never had a real job in her life' King Carter is here to tell all the dog owner parents out there to either walk the dog before work, or wait until the baby is in bed.
Who knows how many were coming home midday, making excuses at work, to walk their dogs.

 

[Tui]

*elective Caesarian

some of us poor bastards went into theatre in labour doing big fat ugly crying because they were in so much pain so didn’t get photos of themselves gurning in a hospital gown
If I have an elective csection next time I’ll look forward to this aspect

(Not being judgmental about elective Csection which are done for many good medical reasons and would have been a far better experience for me when overdue than the shitshow I experienced, just Chessie as usual thinking her experience is the only one that matters or is relevant to anybody)

 

[barryjones]

It was purely about her, not Matt, not her family, not the act of marriage. Her.

She’s a complete fake. “Love yourself, be natural”. Wears shape wear and tonnes of makeup. Which is absolutely fine! But not when you try build a shitty career off embracing yourself.

She’s a fake, hypocritical, rich privileged white girl with no personality and no sense of the real world.

Looks like a wedding full of coke addled twats that enable this woman to be completely unbearable.

 

[Aardvark]

And act like they are the first person in the world to experience these things!
Hundreds of women give birth, have C-sections, cope with a newborn in a heatwave, breastfeed...
Be proud for sure. But also... Give it a rest!!!!

I think she’s mistaking the fact that she’s so public about everything to mean other women don’t talk about these things.
I’ve had honest chats with other women (friends, relatives, colleagues etc) with what giving birth was like. How pregnancy made me feel mentally as much as physically. What has been hardest about bringing up a baby. I’ve had no issue breastfeeding in front of people, and can make jokes about a lot of it too (pregnancy is weird and you have to laugh about it!). But the fact that I or most women don’t publish every single thought about these topics to Instagram doesn’t mean Chessie is some trailblazer for not having any filter with what she posts. Advising women to wear a bikini two weeks after a c section? How about she f****s off for assuming most women wouldn’t? She’s constantly making assumptions about how different she is, and it’s so patronising

You just know she’s going to get brand deals off the back of all this, and it’s really sickening.

 

[Starry_eyed_pie]

I don’t know how any other woman has ever managed to be pregnant, give birth and then raise a baby before doula extraordinaire Chessie came along to share her scrumma pearls of milky wisdom.

I am due to have a C-section in September, and intend to breastfeed, so I know where I will be looking for advice.
I've already told my partner about the fun games we will play whilst waiting for the C-S, and he is practising taking photos of my pubes and nipples ready to share afterwards.

 

[Starry_eyed_pie]

I'm sorry,but how can you claim to be a doula and then admit you'd never heard of a tongue tie?!!
The definition of a doula includes post-natal care, so you'd think the training at least would include some common breastfeeding issues... Of which TT is one!!!!

 

[Aardvark]

I think it’s also really damaging to refer to a c section as being sawn in half even if you are joking because someone about to have one could be really worried by that description. And maybe an explanation of why she is so dry would help (hormonal changes, breastfeeding etc), otherwise it makes it sound like your body is irreversibly changed by birth.
I think it’s a really irresponsible post

 

[Cafffff]

Chessie hun, breast pads are literally £6 for a box of 30. Please get a life.

 

[sohomum]

Sorry but I just spat my tea out reading her latest post about gravitating towards water to get over the fire incident.
“Poured it over me” - as if randomly during the day she just chucks a glass of water over herself

 

[taylore]

‘’ 2 months of mummas milkshakes ‘’

abso-fucking -lutely not

 

[Karen4eva]

God this girl, so privileged that she doesn’t have to stick to anything as her parents will always be a fall back. She so patronising when she becomes an ‘expert’ on a topic. Whatever about before when she was fitness instructor, a painter, published a self help book, a doula all of which she no longer mentions, I wouldn’t listen to anything from her about parenting. She’s a new mum herself, stop telling people what to do!

 

[Smurf72]

So even their honeymoon is a “press discount” . Do they actually pay for anything!!!

 

[pennypinchpam]

I’m so glad I’ve found this thread. I’ve recently come back on Instagram after a long break and all the influencers I used to follow for various interests have ALL morphed into the same depressing, validation begging, lonely characters. If they were truly well off, why can’t they just be happy being comfortable? What’s with the addiction to being seen as “relateable” through what is actually weird over-sharing? We all have pubes, I don’t need to see yours. My child would be mortified if his friends in school went up to him one day saying “I saw your mum’s gonads on the internet! Here’s a printout”. That’s stuff I wouldn’t even send to my close friends on WhatsApp, let alone strangers in the whole world. What’s even more strange is their simp squad buying this “pick me girl” energy from Chessie etc these yes girls are even sadder than the lonely influencers. I don’t think I’ve been more depressed at the state of the internet.

 

[ihaveaproperjob]

I’ve had a baby around the same time as chessarooneyboobaroo and I find it insulting that she makes out as if ‘breastfeeding mamma’ should be my only personality trait now. Yes I exclusively breastfeed and SO DAMN WHAT. The only person this matters to is my baby and quite frankly, I don’t want my boobaroos being the hot topic of conversation! I’m still an educated woman, with a career and maths/science/English is bloody important to me. Yes, knowing other people have experienced the same as me is comforting but actually I find much more comfort in knowing that life goes on and rhat I have self worth and validity outside of motherhood, my body and my baby. I used to be a fan but now I just find her patronising and her attempts at normalising female issues actually just stink of someone obsessed with their body, what other people think and needing validation from others rather than just herself From a firmly EX fan, that’s my 10 pence anyway.

 

[Londoncailín]

Whilst her swimming is very impressive I am less impressed with the video clips of her puuuubbbbbeyyyyroobs this afternoon. Girl, I don’t need to see your bikini line. You’ve had a baby. You’ve got some stretch marks etc. Don’t we all.

Hers aren’t any typical stretch marks though. They are stretchy wetchy fetchy letchy markie warkie marks….