Chateau Diaries #88 Nah, her turkey is coming back from the Netherlands..

[Jikki2]

I can't even with this cringe fest.

Click the pic for the link to the Kickstarter:

 

[MojoDublin]

Is he serving ??
Or sitting at the kiddies table

He spent all day

Setting a table …and putting pumpkins on it

The TABlE is SHITE
That’s not a festive thanksgiving table

That’s a vegetable pile up
On a cloth …

He’s a bet …. A joke

She really is a viper … charlatan

 

[Ezzy]

So, what has happened to Ollie? Did he leave his brain at home with the Islam-loving gorgeous strange wife (who is definitely cheating) ? He seems utterly dim. I cannot remember him being that annoying before. No gentleman throws shade like he did in the kitchen at Stephanie's boy. Why does Nati look less happy? Is Tess making it clear for her that she is punching? Is the handsome and wise Ann Marie realising his star potential mirrored in Dan's eyes and keeping his options open? Ann Marie has ALL the testosterone in the Chateau at present, the other people with penises are blessed with qualities of ladies. What on earth is the despicable Trotter boy doing there, please lock him in the tower. And no, I am not homophobic. I am Trotterphobic. I did have to watch young Phillip...hm, pledging . Used to pledge myself before I finally got to use the real thing. He needs to learn how to dress. His granny fetishes are odd. Stephanie should be banned outside her chambers before dressed. I hate it when Tattlers start going on about "Phil and Angelina", come on haters, isn't our hate reserved ?

Trotterphobic, brilliant. My partner, 58 yr old woman from Stockport has this condition, she really can't stand him. A long time ago she called his vlogs boring, him narcissistic, lazy and spiteful. His obsession with Spode and Beatrix Potter amusing, and she was so angry after losing her job and seeing him begging whilst wearing expensive clothing and accessories. She called him an alcoholic and said he portrays classic envy traits towards others with money. Trotterphobic definitely is a condition.

 

[Clara Burnett]

Any news on Ian the Builder, @Clara?

Last thing I heard was that he followed his daughter back to the UK. The official story is he's on holiday there.

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

Yes, Gwen is rich. Doesn't mean Billy is, he just likes spending her money.

Gwen may have money..but let me tell you..you have to be very carefull where you spend it on..even when your rich...otherwise its gone before you know it..staying rich is also a fulltime job..especially when you have a chateau. to keep up..... with no guests... and a whole grifting family to support...

 

[Rory]

At what stage of the panelling implementation do you think SJ will advise Amaury of all the dauphin/dauphine patreon names to be recorded on the back of the panelling? Will there be a plaque, a piece of paper or names scribbled onto panelling itself?

Most importantly for 2022, key dates for the calendar.
1. Due to the planning of flights and accomodation by over 3000 patreons from around the world to a rural area; what is the date of the summer garden party?

2. Will the catholic HK patreons pay for mass on St Joseph's day again in March?

Why aren't patreons asking these types of questions? The garden party has not been organised since patreon began. Due to covid, she promised any patreon could arrive on any weekend for a tour. No guarantee she would be there but "someone" would be there to provide a tour. Nothing happened.

I will be in Europe in summer 2022. Worth becoming a patreon again to go to the summer party. Such organisation! Permits, toilets, parking for cars and buses, food, drinks, tours for over 3000 people of the chateau, tour guides, wait staff, tables, chairs, marquees, it goes on and on.

Since my shutterdog obsession was "cancelled" by SJ, these are now my next obsessions. Watch out SJ you know once I get an obsession I go on and on about it.

 

[Patriciarella]

Didn’t SJ just try to convince her patrons the place is structurally sound? People believe your eyes not her mouth, the pipes are leaking through the lights, that is not normal!

 

[ComtesseRose]

My honest reaction...

how to put a napkin in a ring

Now, now... we are talking about a man, whose idea of intercourse is poking a knife into the slots of a fork.
So, maybe it was pleasuable for him to put the napkin into the napkin ring...

 

[MidCenturyMadOne]

Lol the Dandefenders are out again. Thanksgiving, from my understanding, is a family event - could it not be possible to include young children too, or would that be churlish of me?

they were eating at 10.30pm! Anneliese and the boys had colds, as she said in the vlog, so probably happy not to be involved.

 

[DamoiseauC]

Thank you @DamoiseauC for sharing the Patreon videos with us. We do appreciate it. A question for Tartlets who are also Patreons.
Has the quality of the videos gone down lately? I understand, from what people have said that the Patreon vlogs gave you extra insight behind the scenes, and were more interesting. I'm just not seeing what people are getting for their money here. I don't mind people subscribing to a channel they enjoy, it's their money, but how does the content differ?

I’m not getting anything from her Patreon besides the fact that I can post it in here for anyone to enjoy

 

[MidCenturyMadOne]

They say they need to raise £390,000 by the end of January, or else it is a non-starter!!!!! MAD!!!!!

Ugh! What are they thinking???? Big nope from me. Don’t buy a house without any means to pay.

 

[KiKiGee]

BJJ will not have his December debut.

28 MINUTES AGO
ndmtheater productions
NDM THEATER PRODUCTIONS CANCELLED ALL SHOWS IN DECEMBER
•
Tonight we received the bad news that theaters are forced to close at 17:00. We are then forced to cancel all performances planned in December. The matinees on December 4 and 11 will also be cancelled. People who have already bought their tickets for one of the performances will receive an email from us during the week.

Even though we are very disappointed for now, behind the scenes we keep going. Keep an eye on our page for updates!

 

[T Rex]

Thanksgiving at the Chateau- the T Rex recap: Fanny awakes, wearing a hodgepodge of clothing (because the Shitoo still has no proper heating system), and finds Philip (not BJJ, but some other guy that Teabag convinced, last minute, to drive him to Fanny's house.) Dan is in the kitchen holding a very grumpy baybay- Fanny pretends to actually care, but it's all for the cameras. Fanny trots off to the empty grand salon where Annaliese is unducking Teabag's "DIY haircut", which Annaliese kindly says "wasn't too bad." Poor lady has a cold- it's not COVID, but being in an unheated Shitoo is probs not helping. (And Teabag, being a moocher, of course will get a free haircut!) Fanny, back in kitchen, states she and Teabag are going to be cooking Thanksgiving dinner- somehow, they abducted an American, named Leslie (who is making the pies), so this must be legit. Davy is back (is it just me, or does he not look like a young Prince Charles?), and he stated his room was cold. Fanny remarks she has an electric blanket, but her head was so cold it felt like it would snap off. Chapel restorer man arrives (he is ridiculously adorable, and reminds me of my beloved Papa) and goes over the restoration with Fanny and Amaury (because someone who needs to speak fluent French needs to be there, and Fanny is NOT that person.) Teabag barges in and finds a relic in the altar stone- this is probably the most interesting part in this entire episode. Snorts pops back up in the kitchen whilst Leslie is making pecan pie, wearing an ugly yellow beanie and is about to film his "urmazing tablescape" video. Fanny's French greencard arrives, and she shares her joy with Ollie. Teabag pops up again, wearing another teddy bear Ralph Lauren jumper (crikey, no, they are NOT going to sponsor you!) Teabag assures her HIS is at the post office. Fanny goes into the dining room where BJJ is setting up, and makes snide remarks about the "kitsch" dishes he is using that he inherited from his grandfather. Fanny, you are a jerk. Fanny shows people actually cooking, but she's obviously evading any work (um, did you not state at the beginning of the vlog only you and Teabag would be cooking dinner?) She and Nuti open a Thanksgiving box a viewer sent- random crap. FF to dinner- in the kitchen, Dan's been suckered into making mashed potatoes, Teabag has made some sort of turkey dish, and the ceiling is now leaking again. They are apparently eating in the palm-tree wallpapered room, and the lights magically go on and off again (suspect Nuti hit the switch whilst running to get food- do they not feed her?) Once again, I'm questioning, "What the F$%^ did I just watch?!?"

 

[Espe]

Some angry looking chickens, if you ask me

I'd be angry if I had to share one tiny, filthy room, over-crowded with other residents where we all bumped into each other and which had stupid framed embroidery on the walls. Just as I settled down to lay an egg, I was startled by some stupid female human cackling away outside, worse than a demented cockrell being chased by a French dog who was being chased by another very strange human wearing a pumpkin on his head!

 

[Espe]

Yes, but then rules and restrictions do not apply to SJ. Good God, she is above such frivolous things.

It seems this new variant (from Botswana) is likely to spread more quickly even than the Delta one and it also has its own variants. They also think that, because its proteins are different from other variants, that vaccines may be less effective against it so it does sound as if it may be more dangerous than the others. On the news, they said countries on the continent may follow the UK in banning flights from and to South Africa or impose quarantine restrictions but if she and Gerry do manage to get there, they may have to quarantine in a hotel for 10 days or more. As you say, she doesn't think rules apply to her but this time, she may not have any choice. In any case, it is so risky and irresponsible for Gerry to go after all his health problems. And if she does go, she will also risk spreading the new variant on her return even if she doesn't have symptoms herself. If people like SJ continue to live as they have been doing, the world will never be free of this pandemic. It makes me so angry and it's all because she wants to enjoy herself!

 

[Beau Monde]

I wonder if Ryan is coming back to France to help Billy with this new project. Remember a few vlogs ago billy was talking to Ryan on the phone and said something like "I'll talk to you later about our plans, and the secret thing"

Oh, sweet bleeding Jesus! Please keep Ryan in Thailand!

 

[Clara Burnett]

He got the blame for the leak and hasnt appeared since!

There appears to be no correlation between those facts. He's on a holiday, planned way before the leak. I know we would all be delighted if there was something wrong between the charlataine and her builder, but I like to stick to the facts as I know them.

 

[TheTaxInspector]

Michael is a talented copyist. He does not have any original ideas of his own. He traces things just like Oliver does. He is very lazy and has made only a few things in the last couple of years that we have seen.

Nothing wrong with copying. Many great artists in the past copied other artist's works as part of their training. Michael has some ability, but I wouldn't say he's incredibly talented. He's a jack of all trades and a master of none. He's a dabbler. In one of Stephanie's recent flogs he said that the stone in the chapel is limestone, which is why it's soft and that's a load of nonsense, if not laughable. He seems to think he knows everything about everything when in fact he knows nothing about anything. He'd do better to keep his big know-all mouth shut. He's never trained to do anything - he's just a lazy bum with time on his hands. Our thick chatelaine once said in one of her flogs that the beams in her roof were chiselled, which is also a load of nonsense. So you see, these people make fools out of themselves every time they open their mouths. Then they have a go at us for taking the piss ...

 

[Marty McFly 9]

Tat & Sel live in a fantasy world of her writing ... yikes ... this is not a business plan ...

 

[T Rex]

The latest Shitoo Diaries: Our Charlatan returns with Dan from London, and arrive back to Miss Havisham's crumbling abode to find Jolly Ollie with Amaury in the workshop. Ollie looks like he has not eaten in the 18 months he and Fanny have been apart, and remarks his wife, Camilla, has him working out with not one, but 2 trainers. Amaury comments that he spoke with the chapel restorer (because there is finally someone in the Shitoo who speaks French fluently), and he will be arriving next week. Fanny takes a nap, and awakes next to Ollie, and they proceed to tuck into a giant box of chocolates whilst under the covers in her bed. (It seemed very inappropriate being Ollie IS a married man, but apparently, his wife doesn't mind...?) Amaury is doing all the heavy lifting on the grand salon, and has relocated two of the massive mirrors to a stairway. Fanny & Co attend a local event (which she cannot find initially, despite having lived there for 16 years), where they get to vote on a new cafe interior. Not much is shown or explained about this- suspect Fanny, as a local business owner, finally realizes she needs to be part of the local community. (Someone failed to explained to Fanny the importance of joining the local Chamber of Commerce, and knowing the pulse of your local area- it certainly would have made her life much easier when dealing with the lake and permits.) Fanny arrives back home where a volunteer has made dinner consisting of green beans, sweet potatoes, "mystery casserole" (this is a direct quote) and another made garlic bread. Fin. Credits. This was probably one of the "WTF did I even watch?!?" Shitoo Diary episodes ever. It was so thrown together and random- and why were there volunteers there?!? I thought they were done with guests for the season...?