Yes but why would we be ‘collectively peeing ourselves with excitement’ over a new book?
and even more laughable is when did ‘Carrie’ get to ‘write’ it?
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and even more laughable is when did ‘Carrie’ get to ‘write’ it?
Whatever the announcement is, very few people now are going to give a tit. I hope it's not theatre. Theatre has moved on, Carrie burned her bridges and she's old news now. If she wasn't, the last few shows she was in let alone her own show would have sold out rather than ending up on seat filler sites. She would not have got a role on talent alone so if they're relying on stale nepotism again, more fool them.
And only Carrie would think that her fans would pee themselves with excitement over this (which, let’s face it, they probably will)
If she gets a book deal to write a parenting book more fool the publisher. She hasn’t built a brand or a following as a mum blogger.
I guess we’ll see it in the bargain bins at
Poundland shortly after launch.
I guess we’ll see it in the bargain bins at
Poundland shortly after launch.
There are hundreds of thousands of ghostwritten parenting books just waiting to go out. Publishing houses whack a name on it and aren't too bothered whether they sell or not. It's the same for almost every celebrity book out there.
The idea that anybody is going to be very impressed by a book "written" by Carrie who's been a mum for five minutes is silly - yes, her daft fans would buy her bottled farts but the wider public wouldn't be interested in her perspective at all. I also think her sister in law being so well-known in parenting would actually work against her in this case.
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She will get ripped to shreds by Mumsnet and the Facebook Huns and I will be here for it
Listen up Joel
I bet she’s written a book to go alongside her tour. She had that journal type thing when she was pregnant, and she said she was going to write about what pregnancy was like, what happened at her birth, and so on, then she was going to give her the letters at a time when she would need them. (I’m not against writing letters for loved ones, life’s short, and having a lovely letter from someone who’s no longer with you, to look at, would be lovely)
I can imagine her making it so cringy, and write letters to all the important women in her life:Mabel, Debbie,Gail, Tom, Gi. They’ll also write to Carrie, giving advice and Carrie will say how the advice is for everyone (despite saying she didn’t need advice, and that labour was all in the mind!)
I can’t imagine her taking on a touring role and being away for long periods or being in a west end show and rehearsing for several weeks prior (we know that Cazza only needs a day to learn everything!) She would be demanding Mabel be in the rehearsal room the whole time, and expect the rest of the cast and crew to hold her, whilst she’s doing her bit. (Except the few times when Joel sits in, cross legged on the floor, weeping as he gazes up at Carrie, misty eyed, seeing his daughter watching her mumma)
She would be mid scene and her alarm would beep;
“Time to stop you wonderful humans, Mumma needs to feed her muffin” (that sounds like a euphemism, I’m now thinking that’s what Joel says to Carrie, when he wants some shreksy time
)
I think she’ll pretend she’s not taking on any more leading lady roles, as now has her most important role, being the leading lady to her daughter. (that’s definitely something she’d say!) when it’s more likely, there aren’t any suitable.
She’s either not able to take on a singing, dancing and acting role, to a high enough standard. Or she’s putting herself up to auditions for roles she’s too old for (No one is going to cast you as a high school student and sing about being ‘seventeen’) She definitely won’t accept that she has made herself seem older than she is, by her grumpy demeanour. So she’s stuck without a role now, so she’ll have to come up with more excuses as to why she’s not getting main roles anymore.
I can imagine her making it so cringy, and write letters to all the important women in her life:Mabel, Debbie,
I can’t imagine her taking on a touring role and being away for long periods or being in a west end show and rehearsing for several weeks prior (we know that Cazza only needs a day to learn everything!) She would be demanding Mabel be in the rehearsal room the whole time, and expect the rest of the cast and crew to hold her, whilst she’s doing her bit. (Except the few times when Joel sits in, cross legged on the floor, weeping as he gazes up at Carrie, misty eyed, seeing his daughter watching her mumma)
She would be mid scene and her alarm would beep;
“Time to stop you wonderful humans, Mumma needs to feed her muffin” (that sounds like a euphemism, I’m now thinking that’s what Joel says to Carrie, when he wants some shreksy time
)I think she’ll pretend she’s not taking on any more leading lady roles, as now has her most important role, being the leading lady to her daughter. (that’s definitely something she’d say!) when it’s more likely, there aren’t any suitable.
She’s either not able to take on a singing, dancing and acting role, to a high enough standard. Or she’s putting herself up to auditions for roles she’s too old for (No one is going to cast you as a high school student and sing about being ‘seventeen’) She definitely won’t accept that she has made herself seem older than she is, by her grumpy demeanour. So she’s stuck without a role now, so she’ll have to come up with more excuses as to why she’s not getting main roles anymore.
Yeah, I think this is a large part of the reason she's considering home-schooling Moonscale Shreklette. She'll use it as an excuse to not be able to work as much anymore and always be yapping on about the sacrifices she's made, putting her own career on hold etc etc. Joel will just go along with whatever because he gets occasional Shrex.
Maybe they feel they can't afford private school (or knowing how tight Caz is, don't want to cough up for it) and Carrie doesn't want to slum it with the proles. But she'll let Moonscale mix with other home-schooled children because she feels they are of a better class/superior.
It's probably also because she is desperate to be different to Tom and Gi in any way possible.
That TikTok 
Why is she shouting all the time? Especially when her baby is asleep (I know you shouldn’t be super quiet, but she is SO loud)
The way she says Mabel sleeps “beautifully” (weird choice of wording) at night, apart from waking every 3-4 hours. That seems like an inconvenience to her. FFS sake, she’s only 8 weeks old, the reason she’s daring to wake up during the night still, is because she’s hungry, unsettled, wet, plus a whole list of other reasons!
She also makes it sound like the only time she’s ever fallen asleep not on Carrie, was today! I can imagine her using Mabel as an excuse as to why she’s been sat on her arse all day, watching Disney films. Mabel will be 6, and she’ll still be saying “My muffin was sat on my knee, I couldn’t possibly disturb her, therefore, I’ve been sat on the sofa for the last 8 hours”
Why the pincer hands? Maybe it’s some secret code for her special piranha…
The way she’s says she’s only met Joel’s “family friend who she’s obsessed with” a handful of times… I’m pretty sure she’s only met his immediate family the same amount.
Carrie, I had no idea you liked Autumn? Why didn’t you say? You’ve never ever mentioned this. Ever. It’s definitely not a personality trait of yours. And Disney, I definitely didn’t know you liked Disney. You never dress your child up in Disney clothes, zero Disney involvement when you did your creased gender reveal, you certainly don’t go there as often as possible, including your honeymoon. It’s odd to me, how much of your life revolves around the parks
The blanket she received, It is as a sweet gift, and carrie seemed to really like it. Mainly because there was a character on there that resembles her! Of course her favourite square features her!
Why is she shouting all the time? Especially when her baby is asleep (I know you shouldn’t be super quiet, but she is SO loud) The way she says Mabel sleeps “beautifully” (weird choice of wording) at night, apart from waking every 3-4 hours. That seems like an inconvenience to her. FFS sake, she’s only 8 weeks old, the reason she’s daring to wake up during the night still, is because she’s hungry, unsettled, wet, plus a whole list of other reasons!
She also makes it sound like the only time she’s ever fallen asleep not on Carrie, was today! I can imagine her using Mabel as an excuse as to why she’s been sat on her arse all day, watching Disney films. Mabel will be 6, and she’ll still be saying “My muffin was sat on my knee, I couldn’t possibly disturb her, therefore, I’ve been sat on the sofa for the last 8 hours”
Why the pincer hands? Maybe it’s some secret code for her special piranha…
The way she’s says she’s only met Joel’s “family friend who she’s obsessed with” a handful of times… I’m pretty sure she’s only met his immediate family the same amount.
Carrie, I had no idea you liked Autumn? Why didn’t you say? You’ve never ever mentioned this. Ever. It’s definitely not a personality trait of yours. And Disney, I definitely didn’t know you liked Disney. You never dress your child up in Disney clothes, zero Disney involvement when you did your creased gender reveal, you certainly don’t go there as often as possible, including your honeymoon. It’s odd to me, how much of your life revolves around the parks
The blanket she received, It is as a sweet gift, and carrie seemed to really like it. Mainly because there was a character on there that resembles her! Of course her favourite square features her!
It'll be baby related since that's her whole personality now
That god awful Praise Him song just popped into my head and now it’s stuck there
The announcement is for the beginners call page so I’m guessing it’s someone that’s guesting with them. Or maybe it’s an online event.
it’s Carrie so it’ll be drama for drama sake and it’ll end up underwhelming
it’s Carrie so it’ll be drama for drama sake and it’ll end up underwhelming
The ego that they think this will sell WITHOUT them announcing the ‘professional’ tutors? Mystifying. If they had them sorted they would announce surely?
Three hours. Four ‘masterclasses’
Advertised as 45 minutes each. In reality with breaks and moving from one to another it will be less than this.
£60 to ‘learn from the best’
Who are the best?
What are their qualifications to teach?
What form will the singing masterclass take?
What type of dance will we be doing in the dance masterclass?
What age is this aimed at? It doesn’t say on the website?
The ‘free’ (but you paid for it) t.shirt selection ranges from age 3-4 to adult medium?
I’m a triple threat 12 year old who can play the saxophone with my toes and won the world disco dancing championship last year? Will I be in a class with a child barely out of nappies?
I’m a very large 10 year old? There doesn’t seem to be a t.shirt option for me? Are bigger bois excluded?
Three hours. Four ‘masterclasses’
Advertised as 45 minutes each. In reality with breaks and moving from one to another it will be less than this.
£60 to ‘learn from the best’
Who are the best?
What are their qualifications to teach?
What form will the singing masterclass take?
What type of dance will we be doing in the dance masterclass?
What age is this aimed at? It doesn’t say on the website?
The ‘free’ (but you paid for it) t.shirt selection ranges from age 3-4 to adult medium?
I’m a triple threat 12 year old who can play the saxophone with my toes and won the world disco dancing championship last year? Will I be in a class with a child barely out of nappies?
I’m a very large 10 year old? There doesn’t seem to be a t.shirt option for me? Are bigger bois excluded?
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Also waiting for
My child is 7 but would LOVE to come to this
and then wait for the age to drop and drop.
The difference in ability between an 8 year old and a 12 year old is vast.
No self respecting Year 7 is going to want to ‘train’ with an 8 year old.
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The questions have started already. Because in their rush they are incapable of sorting the finer details and making things perfectly clear.
My child is 7 but would LOVE to come to this
and then wait for the age to drop and drop.The difference in ability between an 8 year old and a 12 year old is vast.
No self respecting Year 7 is going to want to ‘train’ with an 8 year old.
---
The questions have started already. Because in their rush they are incapable of sorting the finer details and making things perfectly clear.
Attachments
BUT WHAT IS IT
Why does the graphic say 30th August but the caption says it's all weekend? They'll be back-pedalling when it doesn't sell well
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