Why blame the ones that were there for her the most though?! Unless it's guilt that she wasn't there for her herself. Either way she's not honouring her daughter's memory very well. Enough time has gone by now for her to be thinking more clearly. You never get over your child dying, especially in such a sad way but she's painting herself very badly still clinging on to blaming innocent people that tried their best to help her. Caroline did this, she probably would have done it sooner if it wasn't for her friends.
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I would guess it’s a mixture of guilt and, ironically, the fact they were there, and therefore she thinks they could have done something. She probably also feels powerless as a parent and maybe believes that her friends would have had a better chance of “getting through” to her, even though it’s complete rubbish.
I don’t think that the amount of time that’s passed has anything to do with it: I think it’s her ability to process it. Yes, for most people that happens with time, but some people need more support, and maybe she doesn’t have that. I’m not judging her at all for her actions — I just feel desperately sorry for her.
Plus, having all this play out in the public eye can’t be easy. While I’m glad it’s opening up conversations about suicide and mental health, it can’t be easy to have a child in the public eye. How do you ever escape? It’s a bit like Liam Payne in that respect.
Guilt and anger are all part of grief regardless of how someone dies and unless they are murdered, you generally don’t have someone to direct that anger towards. So I feel for her mum. But poor LT too, losing her friend and finding her. I imagine that image will never leave her. I hope she has a good support network round her even if it is blimmin Andy Carroll
This. Just read the Guardian article, and the bit about "I had to collect her from school a few times because they couldn't stop the crying" really stood out to me. There is no suggestion in the article that anyone sought help for what sound like early-onset (and lifelong) problems with mood regulation.
Honestly, the best thing her friends (flackstock anyone?!), her family and most of all her mother can do is let her rest in the peace she never had when she was alive. Remember her in private, celebrate her life privately, grieve privately.
Most of her issues (that we knew of) stemmed from her own poor choices. She was beautiful, successful and not short of money, but she was messy af, obsessed with being seen as desirable and climbing the slippery pole of celebrity, fan of recreational drugs and the party lifestyle.
Her death was her decision, no one is to blame, not the authorities, not her friends and not even the men she actively pursued and chose to date. I hate this beatification of problematic celebs after their death. Just let it be. They are gone. And the ‘be kind’ bull can get in the bleeping bin because it’s always used to shut up anyone with a dissenting pov no matter how constructive.
Most of her issues (that we knew of) stemmed from her own poor choices. She was beautiful, successful and not short of money, but she was messy af, obsessed with being seen as desirable and climbing the slippery pole of celebrity, fan of recreational drugs and the party lifestyle.
Her death was her decision, no one is to blame, not the authorities, not her friends and not even the men she actively pursued and chose to date. I hate this beatification of problematic celebs after their death. Just let it be. They are gone. And the ‘be kind’ bull can get in the bleeping bin because it’s always used to shut up anyone with a dissenting pov no matter how constructive.
Her mum even said in the documentary on channel 4 that every time something bad happened, she was worrying her phone would ring to say Caroline had topped herself. The lass obviously had such insecurity and huge problems. How many times had she tried before? She was obviously determined.
And this: “With all these highs, though, were the lows she kept hidden. There were spells in hospital, or she would check herself in just to be safe.”
and her mum never knew if she was calling in the middle of the night in a crisis or because she had something fun to tell her.
She was a 40 year old woman with lifelong mental health issues which were so serious she admitted herself to hospital on multiple occasions. Her mother needs to stop blaming everyone else and everything else for her daughter’s MH issues. I can’t see how this documentary will help her at all, particularly as her ‘setting the record straight’ seems to involve massively skewing the story. This is just going to result in the whole thing being dragged up again
What always strikes me is how her mum explains how much Caroline wanted to hide her struggles, felt shame for being mentally unwell (which is awful) and became suicidal again when she thought of the world finding out about her true struggles with self harm and suicidality. If that were my daughter I would not keep making documentaries about the secrets she guarded so closely, just to try to find blame. It's all desperately sad and I hope her mum can get some good grief and trauma therapy and find ways to move forward with her life, remembering Caroline in different ways as she does.
It's all really sad, but I can't help but feel the mother is deflecting from her own guilt at how things turned out for her daughter, especially when apportioning blame to the friends after all they had done to try and help her.
Only one person is responsible for the choice and actions of Caroline in ending her own life, and that is Caroline herself.
Only one person is responsible for the choice and actions of Caroline in ending her own life, and that is Caroline herself.
My husband has had major mental health problems, not too far from Caroline’s, and the seeds are sown in childhood. Friends or partners you meet as an adult are not responsible for your baseline mental health. I’ve tried to help him so many times and ultimately he can only help himself with the support of a trained professional. Putting all this weight on her female friends and blaming them for leaving is not fair; I’m not a huge Lou Teasdale fan, but she said on a recent podcast that her Dad was saying it was too much (the amount of time she was spending looking after Caroline) and she needed to have a day out with her young daughter and extended family (too right!). A single parent should not be expected to keep leaving their child to nurse a 40 year old lady making bad life choices.
I have said this before but a friend of a friend worked with Caroline’s mother and she was a nasty piece of work, so she can stick her be kind balls where the sun doesn’t shine.
I suspect that really her mum blames herself but she can’t bear to admit that. And actually she shouldn’t do that either. Caroline was a woman approaching middle age with every single available resource to support her mental health. Her not choosing to have a doctor is not evidence of tabloid intrusion but of complete paranoia. There are thousands of celebrities who choose when and how to release info of health conditions. I can’t think of any of them being leaked to the press. And I’m sorry but she wasn’t that famous. I used to live in north west London and regularly saw people a lot more famous than Caroline in Waitrose. No one paid them any attention. London is stuffed full of them
I didn't know she had anything to do with drugs. Is this speculation or is there a source?
Flackstock is strange, very low rent acts (Jon and Jo from s club are the only ones I remember!). Do they sell enough tickets to make it viable?
Im pretty convinced that Caroline had ADHD and suffered from RSD. All her emotional issues throughout her life are absolutely tick box RSD. It can be absolutely devastating and without the correct mental health through her life, she must have really truly suffered at times. Just a tragic waste of life.
I completely agree. She spoke about not having a Christmas tree one Christmas Eve so took an abandoned one off the street, also how messy she was as a child. Also has the big personality of an ADHDer, uses drugs etc
Exactly this. The most misused phrase in the English language, imo. Used to shout people down, which is not, ahem kind.
Interesting how in the article they say it was Caroline's twin who found her and have completely airbrushed Lou and her dad out of the situation when that poor man dealt with Caroline's body first and foremost.
Its worrying that even this detail was brushed over and changed to her mums narrative, how can we believe the rest is true? was there a lamp? was it a phone?
Her mum yet again isn't helping the perception of what happened.
Sorry now, I know she has lost her daughter but that woman is some piece of work! No thoughts for Lou or her poor father and what they saw. A sight that I'm sure will never leave their mind.
She's doing nothing for Caroline’s memory.
She's doing nothing for Caroline’s memory.
It's always people with my babes and me against the world
Timmy 12.04.18
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