Calling in sick

[Cloverfield10]

You should never ever feel bad about calling in sick. I had an absolutely terrible manager who was awful about anyone wanting time off (even annual leave was made out to be a favour!) so I was pleased to leave that company which was incredibly toxic. My last few jobs have been great and only people who absolutely take the piss and are off every week are talked about with eye rolls.

Really though, there is never any point in forcing yourself into work when you feel crap. Because of my terrible ex boss I do find it difficult to call in sick because of fear of letting people down but I have found it's easier to tell them that I just won't be coming in due to sickness (give one reason and stick to it) rather than waiting for them to give permission for you to take the day off.

As an adult you are responsible for knowing when you should and shouldn't come in so don't feel like you need permission from your boss to do so. As long as you aren't taking the piss you have every right to take a sick day when you need to. Most companies really don't give a damn about their employees so never feel bad about putting yourself first.

 

[LittleMy]

Another time I was leaving my house to go to work in the morning and was in a bit of a hurry as my taxi was waiting. I lost my footing and fell down the steps at my front door and landed awkwardly on my foot. I jumped up in shock and somehow managed to get in the taxi (I think I was definitely in shock, the driver hadn’t seen me fall but he did comment that I looked chalk white, he made a joke about being hungover and I just sort of awkwardly laughed it off). I think I was in such a daze that I barely said anything, focusing too much on trying not to cry.

Anyway, I got to work (care home, half shift so 8pm-2pm). I stayed and worked my entire shift as I was so nervous about asking to go home, despite the fact that I was in extreme pain especially towards the end of it. My foot was so swollen I couldn’t get my shoe off. In the end I called my then partner at the time as my shift was finishing and told him. He picked me up and took me to the A&E straight after my shift. By this point he had to help me in because I was hobbling. I had tore the ligaments in my ankle and was signed off for 6 weeks but ended up going back after 4 because I couldn’t afford anymore time off. The SSP was just enough to cover my rent and nothing else. I still get pain in that foot to this day (worse in Winter) and that was 9 years ago.

It’s just the way they make you feel guilty to the point where you end up sacrificing your own health and well-being just to make up the numbers. I still feel guilty when I have to call in and I have the silent war in my head over it, but since Covid I wouldn’t hesitate. Your health should always come first.

 

[Cloverfield10]

It's unbelievable how many people seem to have a total lack of boundaries when it comes to hassling employees who are off sick. I understand that it can probably be very challenging and even frustrating to be a manager if you feel that employees are taking the piss but, really, hassling people will do nothing to help!

Most people really do know where to draw the line and surely HR could step in if absences really were a problem so I really don't get chasing and hassling people who are simply off for a few days here and there.

To me this seems like such an old-fashioned way of working. It's not the 1950s and presenteeism isn't a guarantee of a well-functioning company! Trusting your employees to work like adults is surely the best way forward but so many companies are yet to wake up to this! You don't own your staff and good people will walk away if the culture is toxic and damaging

 

[Platformcrocs]

I got signed off work after I had a mental breakdown. I was asked by my employers to go to the doctors to get signed off as I was coming to work an absolute mess every day due to depression and anxiety. I was on a monthly sick note from the doctors which I posted in to HR. I was extremely unwell and checked in with my manager sporadically when she would just say she was thinking of me and said to just ask if I needed anything. A few months into my sick leave I got a new manager, I was gutted. This new manager rang me every Monday to “check in”. She would ring every week and ask if my depression had gone and if I had stopped being anxious. I bit my tongue and would just say no and wait for her to end the call. Some weeks I wouldn’t answer my phone as clearly stated in my sick note I was off work ill. She text me saying if I didn’t answer every week she would discipline me. I tried to return to work as she was pressuring me to and threatening to have me sacked. I was there a couple of weeks and had had to leave or not made it in as I was still very unwell. She pulled me into a glass see through office that the whole floor could see into. Shouting at me it wasn’t acceptable and I should be better by now. I got signed off straight away again that day. I ended up getting paid out of my job by the company. Another time that manager also said Glandular Fever wasn’t real so shouldn’t be off work. I was just unhealthy and should drink more water. She once left her computer unlocked with an email open (I sat next to her) The email was all just her slagging me off, about all sorts. Not just being ill. I’ve never worked since. The anxiety of having to deal with managers makes me feel sick.

That's so awful and that woman should NEVER be allowed to manage anyone again. She's completely unfit for the job.

 

[under the ivy]

At my last job, I had to leave early because my wisdom tooth had become infected. I went to work that morning though in pain, face swollen and unable to really focus on my job (I worked in clinical trials so I needed to concentrate really!). Anyway my manager let me go early as I managed to get an emergency dentist appointment - she was really understanding about it. Went back the next day and she called me into her office - asked if I’d actually been to the dentist, like why would I lie you saw the pain I was in yesterday. I got the antibiotics out of my handbag and showed her them as ‘proof’. I had to have the wisdom tooth taken out eventually and used 2 days a/l for it as I knew I’d feel rotten the day after the op.

Honestly every job I’ve had, I’ve been unfortunate with managers. I now work in academia (pgr researcher) and theyre a lot more flexible with sickness, family emergencies.

 

[Tea4u]

A few years ago I was rushed to A&E, yet I still messaged my manager in my retail job, explaining my situation and how I obviously wouldn’t be able to work. This is the reply I got, no sympathy, no get well soon, nothing! I could’ve not messaged them at all but I was a decent employee and this is what I got. Employers can be such pricks but you’ve got to put yourself and your health first!

 

[TaylorSlattery]

It’s just my personal opinion but I can’t help but feel it’s really selfish and irresponsible to go to work if you’ve got a bug (virus) that can be spread. It never seemed fair that you could make the rest of your team sick just to prove a point. If you took a couple of days off to get better it would be over and done with. If you bring it in and someone else got it that’s two people down.
My whole team ended up being off at the same cause we all caught flu of another team member. This was long before Coronavirus but out manager made us wipe our desks/mice/keyboards when we came in and left everyday after that.

 

[Pinkblush]

I have had some shocking managers in my younger years and still have that guilty feeling when calling in sick - now in a much better job and wouldn’t think twice if I needed to call in sick.

One thing that always stuck with me. A few years ago I was buying something from an arsehole-owned sports shop (yep, that one) and the girl serving me was literally crying while she was serving me, I asked her if she was okay and she replied that she had come to work with an ear infection and they wouldn’t let her go home and she was in agony. I spoke to her manager on the way out and gave them a bollocking - always wonder to this day if she was sent home.

Doubt it. She probably got a bollocking herself for getting them a bollocking off a customer.

 

[Flossy2019]

Hmm , I wouldn’t worry. I’ve found a lot of employers don’t care about employees. like you’ve just said wanting you to come in when ill. If you were to get sacked or resign they would just replace you in an instant so don’t feel bad if you’re genuinely ill

 

[kittypaws]

I always feel so, so guilty about calling in sick. I go into so much detail in my texts/emails as I feel like I have to justify myself!

I’ve worked at a particular shop a couple of times as a Christmas temp and I remember we were all told we must come in for every shift unless we were on deaths door

I woke up one Sunday morning and I was absolutely full of cold, with a banging headache and barely any voice. I felt awful and lived at home at the time - my parents told me not to go in as I was so poorly and I’d be coughing and sneezing all over the customers.

Just before Christmas some permanent positions became available and all the temps were told to apply. I was great at the job and loved it so I applied, but was called in to the back office one day and told I hadn’t been successful in securing a permanent role cos I’d had that day off. Absolutely shocking!

 

[Fofoca]

Agree with a lot of the other comments about certain industries making calling in sick difficult. I worked in retail when I was younger and you’d have to basically beg. Even if you said you were in a&e they’d be like, “well can you come in afterwards?”.

off topic but I remember being on the way to work, a 4 hour shift, but the tubes and buses had closed when I got to the station because there was a b0mb scare (I live in London). Called work and they insisted I had to come in. My dad drove to get me but the Blackwell tunnel was also closed - everywhere was closed because we could have been blown up any second. And I’m crying cos my manager is screaming down the phone for me to come empty the effing fitting rooms. I look back at that time and wish I could have told the bastard to eff off. (And he ended up getting sacked for stealing money from the safe so it’s not like he cared about work. Just a dickhead tyrant.) sorry for the swearing. I’m angry!

Anyways back-on topic, my approach nowadays is to tell and not ask. Follow time protocol and all that, but I say “I’m sick. I’m not coming in.”

I was sick a few weeks ago and I had a similar struggle where I felt extra guilty as I already work from home but my friend pointed out that I can’t work, home or office - call in sick.

 

[Ohflogoff]

For me I think it stems from childhood. I could have an arm missing and my mum would tell me I was going in and if the school thought I was poorly enough, they’d send me home.
Friends would have days off to go to a theme park or holidays, but us, nope. Never missed a day. Got certificates for 100% attendance, even sent into school with broken fingers that happened the day before in PE

I rarely take days off work. I think the last time was 2017. I have the guilt feeling when I do. Can’t say I’ve ever had a boss that was punitive and made me feel bad, but then again I’ve not been one to Chuck a sickie.

All that aside, if you’re Sick, you’re sick.Historically, after a huge event in my life, I should have taken sick leave. Without a doubt I missed the self care memo. I pushed on and my work without a doubt suffered. That wasn’t due to my boss not being supportive, far from it. They told me I shouldn’t be in. It was my own inner voice berating me.

Don’t feel bad. Don’t let your boss make you feel bad. Look after yourself.

 

[LittleMy]

Oh don’t get me started on how some managers treat you in the private care sector. I was 9 weeks pregnant with my first baby when I came down with a really bad kidney infection on my birthday. I was taken to hospital in an ambulance and spent three nights in with IV fluids and antibiotics. My work knew the situation as I’d called them already. My manager at the time called me every day asking when I would be back. It got to the point I had to ignore the calls but she just kept leaving voicemails.
Once out of the hospital, the doctor gave me a sick note because I needed to rest and complete my course of antibiotics, and my partner handed it in for me. When I came back everyone was lovely to me because my good news was now public knowledge, but the manager had a face like a slapped arse. I have never been one of those who takes a day off for nothing and it was a rare occurrence.

Another time after this, same company but with a different manager, my baby who was 15 months old at this point, had to be taken to hospital because he was having breathing difficulties (I had to sit in the ambulance with him holding a nebuliser over his face while he thrashed around terrified ). He was admitted for overnight stay and placed on oxygen, spent most of the night so distressed being woken to have nebulisers every hour, and I stayed with him (also pregnant with my second at the time).

I called my work to let them know as I was supposed to be in the next day. The manager was great and didn’t question it just asked if I was ok and more importantly if my son was. This happened a few times while I was still there (it turned out he’s asthmatic and it’s now manageable). I couldn’t imagine how it would’ve been if the previous manager was still in charge at the time. I think I would’ve ended up telling her to stick her job up her arse.

 

[Platformcrocs]

I was terrified of managers when I was in my early 20s and worked in retail. A lot of them are simply bullies. I know there are always exceptions but I saw too many colleagues dragging themselves in when they were clearly unwell and crying in cupboards, throwing up in the toilets, etc. They only came in because they were threatened with being sacked, and they simply needed the job and money to keep their heads above water. Some of the managers would claim those people were just hungover, but they absolutely weren't - the ones who were hungover just wouldn't show up or even step foot in the shop again.

We could probably devote an entire thread to horrendous managers!

 

[LittleMy]

Also if you go in, you run the risk of infecting somebody else in the time that you’re there.

It’s terrible what some managers and companies will do to their staff though. At the end of the day, we’re all just numbers to them. Easily forgotten and easily replaced.

 

[Peter Griffin]

Some of these stories are awful. I feel lucky that I work at a great place with a good manager, who just asks us to send him a message when were are ill.

You should never feel bad if you are genuinely too sick to work properly. It’s what sick leave is there for.

 

[kadykal95]

I'll admit calling in sick terrifies me....i just can't do it unless I literally can't get out of bed.

I work for a local council and if we have a certain number of sickness in a 6 month period we get a disciplinary.

I was also told recently after telling my boss i was going to be 20 mins late for a blood test that I'm not allowed to make doctors/dentists appointments in work time but I work 8.30 to 5 so it's almost impossible. She didn't ask me what the blood test was for or if i was okay either.

 

[SpiceWeasel]

I know exactly what you mean! I used to work in hospitality and they would have wanted you in even if you were in a full body cast. I once had norovirus, the worst of which had been over my 2 days off but I still couldn’t keep anything down/inside so phoned to say I’m really sorry but I am too ill to work and worried I’ll pass it on to someone else. The landlady of the pub I worked at’s reply was ‘but *** hasn’t had a day off and he’ll have to stay on if you can’t come in’ I was like fine dragged myself in, somehow worked a 10 hour bar shift. The next day I got a phone call ‘can you come in (6 hours) early, ***** (the landlady) is really ill and can’t be on the pub floor’ I was so pissed off not only was I not allowed a day off sick, which would have been unpaid too! But I was having to go in early because she’d made me come in and obviously caught the virus off me, it was karma though too

Proper grim what goes on in hospitality. God knows how many other people I passed it on to pouring drinks and taking food out

In my new job, I once ended up getting rushed to the doctors from the office as it was the middle of summer 30 degree heat and I was violently shivering, I’d ignored a UTI which had become a nasty kidney infection. I was sternly told to take time off if I need to to go to the doctors or call in sick! It was a totally foreign concept to me to do so!

 

[TaylorSlattery]

Don’t even get me started on the Bradford Factor

 

[Dak1988]

I was off sick a couple of weeks ago with anxiety due to a work related incident. I was only off 3 days and each morning my manager texted me saying ‘do you think you will be ok to log on today’ and called me to ask me work related questions. I was planning to go to the doctor on the Monday to get a sick note but then I checked my diary and she had rearranged all our joint meetings that I had missed for the Monday and I got so anxious that I was letting her down so I came back on the Monday and had to catch up on the last three days because she is incompetent and couldn’t do anything without me. I really don’t think it’s acceptable to be sending those kinds of texts