Calling in sick

[orangelolly]

I wasn't sure if I should post this in "Off topic" or "Advice" Does anyone else hate calling in sick to work? My first ever job (I worked there for 10 years) the two managers were absolutely vile about anyone that called in sick. They'd try to force people to come in, they'd slate you to other people and they would make you call mid afternoon to say if you'd be back the following day. I no longer work there but feel like this has had an impact on me. I always feel like my managers won't believe me, that they'll think I'm faking it etc. I'm currently off sick but instead of resting I'm worrying about what they're thinking. I very rarely call in sick, often going in when I probably should have called in sick.
Just wondering if anyone else ever feels this way? Any tips for changing my mindset? They've never said anything to me to make me think they don't believe me but I just keep thinking that I don't know what they're saying in their office.

 

[bellinibobble]

I think anyone who has worked in retail or hospitality can relate! I found it hard to adjust to working in an office and thought it was daft when people would have time off sick for colds/coughs when in my previous role I’d have dragged myself into shifts half dead, but then I realised that wasn’t right! I hope one of the few positives of Covid should be that people don’t worry about being judged for calling in sick (and not spreading germs around the office!) as much anymore.

 

[MilkAndTwoSugars]

I used to have the same with my old boss!

Was always told to call AFTER 9am (no texts allowed). The 9am rule came into play when some.of my colleagues would call in at 6am to leave a voicemail on the bosses phone, to avoid confrontation. Even if we did leave a voicemail, we always got a call back - she said it was "duty of care" but was a deterrent for next time as you have her to answer to.

One time I fell off my push bike cycling to work, I was bleeding, skin ripped to bits, bruising appearing, shaking and as white as a ghost, but my boss made me feel so guilty about sick leave that I stayed the whole day!

My new workplace allows texts to advise out managers. Much less confrontational and means we actually don't go in when we really shouldn't (i.e to avoid fear).

Thanks for the thread idea, this'll be an interesting one xx

 

[jaymie]

I wasn't sure if I should post this in "Off topic" or "Advice" Does anyone else hate calling in sick to work? My first ever job (I worked there for 10 years) the two managers were absolutely vile about anyone that called in sick. They'd try to force people to come in, they'd slate you to other people and they would make you call mid afternoon to say if you'd be back the following day. I no longer work there but feel like this has had an impact on me. I always feel like my managers won't believe me, that they'll think I'm faking it etc. I'm currently off sick but instead of resting I'm worrying about what they're thinking. I very rarely call in sick, often going in when I probably should have called in sick.
Just wondering if anyone else ever feels this way? Any tips for changing my mindset? They've never said anything to me to make me think they don't believe me but I just keep thinking that I don't know what they're saying in their office.

Hmmm my personal opinion is that everyone get sick. If you are really sick, then you're sick, there is nothing much you can do about it. As long as you over do it or being spotted in the mall, you should be fine. You cannot technically be framed for anything if it is genuine, you can go to HR if anything. Then of course you will have people who take the mick that ruins everything for everyone.

Also depending on the culture of the company, no one call in sick in my husband company, if you are sick, you stay at home to work. Is completely fine in my company though.

get well soon!

 

[MilkAndTwoSugars]

I always feel like my managers won't believe me, that they'll think I'm faking it etc.

Me tool! I'm paranoid about this. One night I was vomiting and was tempted to take a photo of the toilet bowl just to prove I was legit unwell but stopped myself as it was a ridiculous idea Xx

 

[Flossy2019]

Hmm , I wouldn’t worry. I’ve found a lot of employers don’t care about employees. like you’ve just said wanting you to come in when ill. If you were to get sacked or resign they would just replace you in an instant so don’t feel bad if you’re genuinely ill

 

[orangelolly]

Hmm , I wouldn’t worry. I’ve found a lot of employers don’t care about employees. like you’ve just said wanting you to come in when ill. If you were to get sacked or resign they would just replace you in an instant so don’t feel bad if you’re genuinely ill

We're constantly told at work "No one is irreplaceable"

 

[TeaAndYoutube]

Yes but I take it a step further and hate taking any time off. I accrue paid time off (PTO) each month and it carries over year to year until you reach a certain amount of hours. We have to use paid time off for everything including sick days and holidays or basically for any other reason why you may want time off work. I've been at my same job for several years so I've accrued quite a bit of hours but I can't bring myself to not feel guilty for taking time off. I even have understanding managers who encourage us to use our time as it is important for mental and overall health. I've earned the hours and I'm entitled to use them but it's such a mental block.

For sick days we're allowed to text, thankfully, our manager and let them know. I like that it can be a text because it's an instant paper trail rather than saying "I called and left a message". For call offs though I find you just need to be assertive. You're sick and that's it. You don't need to go into details about what's wrong. Keep it short but firm. "I'm sick and won't be working today" End.

I know rules vary by companies. A lot of my friends have a sick note rule at their job. If they've called off for 2 or more days in a row then they're required to bring in a doctor's note explaining why they were off.

Does anyone feel like they can't leave the house if they've taken a sick day? Let's say you were sick in the morning and called off but then feel better by the evening/after work hours and then need to go run an errand or run to the shop.

 

[EyeSpy88]

I know what you mean! I feel guilty as hell calling in sick like they think I’m faking it! The job I’m in now they are ok about it not thrilled but wouldn’t make you feel guilty!
My first proper job between 18-22 I had keys (which I shouldn’t have had as was not management.. first job didn’t speak up for myself enough!) there were lots of sets but my manager felt the need to come to my house to get them anyway.. obviously to check up on me I literally came to the door wrapped in duvet after crawling out of bed but still felt like I was being ‘caught out’ that’s probably why I have a complex with it!
I think now it’s easier said than done but you know you’re ill and not just skiving so I wouldn’t worry just try and focus on feeling well xx

 

[Fofoca]

Agree with a lot of the other comments about certain industries making calling in sick difficult. I worked in retail when I was younger and you’d have to basically beg. Even if you said you were in a&e they’d be like, “well can you come in afterwards?”.

off topic but I remember being on the way to work, a 4 hour shift, but the tubes and buses had closed when I got to the station because there was a b0mb scare (I live in London). Called work and they insisted I had to come in. My dad drove to get me but the Blackwell tunnel was also closed - everywhere was closed because we could have been blown up any second. And I’m crying cos my manager is screaming down the phone for me to come empty the effing fitting rooms. I look back at that time and wish I could have told the bastard to eff off. (And he ended up getting sacked for stealing money from the safe so it’s not like he cared about work. Just a head tyrant.) sorry for the swearing. I’m angry!

Anyways back-on topic, my approach nowadays is to tell and not ask. Follow time protocol and all that, but I say “I’m sick. I’m not coming in.”

I was sick a few weeks ago and I had a similar struggle where I felt extra guilty as I already work from home but my friend pointed out that I can’t work, home or office - call in sick.

 

[Southern.fairy91]

I was a chef 15 years and (grossly) going to work properly ill is the norm. I was treated like tit for taking 2 days off with Norovirus, and at a different job I was sent home with excruciating pain in my kidneys which a trip to the hospital later I found out was because of a viral infection which could’ve caused all kinds of complications and I had my boss ringing me whilst I was still at hospital asking if I’d be in the next day.
It got to the point where now, the anxiety of having to call in sick is normally worse than what I’m ill from.

 

[CosmicCreepers]

I worked at a very well known fast fashion company- rhymes with Tribark ...every time I rang in sick I was completely hounded with questions and suspicions. I was always on time and took overtime whenever I could, I loved my job there and would never ring in sick just because I couldnt be bothered. In the end, I was luckily good acquaintances with my department manager and I could text her and she would pass it on. It was honestly awful at the beginning.

 

[Ohflogoff]

For me I think it stems from childhood. I could have an arm missing and my mum would tell me I was going in and if the school thought I was poorly enough, they’d send me home.
Friends would have days off to go to a theme park or holidays, but us, nope. Never missed a day. Got certificates for 100% attendance, even sent into school with broken fingers that happened the day before in PE

I rarely take days off work. I think the last time was 2017. I have the guilt feeling when I do. Can’t say I’ve ever had a boss that was punitive and made me feel bad, but then again I’ve not been one to Chuck a sickie.

All that aside, if you’re Sick, you’re sick.Historically, after a huge event in my life, I should have taken sick leave. Without a doubt I missed the self care memo. I pushed on and my work without a doubt suffered. That wasn’t due to my boss not being supportive, far from it. They told me I shouldn’t be in. It was my own inner voice berating me.

Don’t feel bad. Don’t let your boss make you feel bad. Look after yourself.

 

[WilmaHun]

My workplace allows a text to the office manager if we're poorly, which I am grateful for, I hate the thought of having to actually phone up - not sure why. I very rarely take sick days, I've had 1 day off in the 2 years I've been here. Despite that, if I did need to call in sick I know I would feel horrendously guilty for doing so. I'm not even sure why I feel that way, but I do.

For me I think it stems from childhood. I could have an arm missing and my mum would tell me I was going in and if the school thought I was poorly enough, they’d send me home.

This resonates with me so much. I've never realised it until reading your post, but I think this is why I feel guilty about calling in sick too! My Mum used to say the exact same thing to me! I guess it's just stuck!

 

[Ohflogoff]

This resonates with me so much.

Yup. My folks were never off work. I have no memories of them missing days off work or calling in sick. They worked hard and still do. I guess it’s engrained in us.

 

[slugella]

Totally agree about the retail comments! I've worked for 5 big retail stores in the past and they were all the same. They never believed staff, you got hounded with a return to work interview after, and they were v judgey about time off.

I once got put on disciplinary at a retail job because I was still in my probation and had to take 3 weeks off as I was in hospital. I only worked 6 hours each Saturday so wasn't really that many days/hours off. Even with my hospital note they didn't care.

It's reminded me too of full time attendance prizes in school. I think it's so silly, you're not any worse of a student if you're ill and it shouldn't be encouraged to come in when you are genuinely sick, especially if it's something contagious.

I still feel anxious calling in now so don't really have any advice sorry! I get myself worked up but tell myself that it's fine and I'm always glad I took the time off to get better.

 

[mobella]

A few years ago I called in sick to an early start shift as I had an awful migraine. I later found out they were all slating me behind my back, to anyone and everyone who would listen basically! (Editing to add that I had a split shift that day, and the top manager actually messaged me to make sure I was coming in later).

I had another horrible migraine a few months back, this time in a different job. It was another early start shift and because I (wrongly) felt so guilty about the time in my previous job, I actually went into work! I have no idea how I managed. I nearly passed out from pain and I can't remember anything of the shift. I get truly awful migraines and I still how on earth I managed to bring myself to go into work.

 

[Platformcrocs]

I also hate it because of bad experiences with terrible managers. I think I can count on one hand the number of sick days I've had over the last 10 years. I had a colonoscopy a few years ago and was feeling really rough the day after so called in sick, but my manager was extremely passive-agressive with the usual "ok, if you REALLY can't come in then just stay at home...". Another time I had a migraine that wouldn't shift, couldn't work through it so left a message with our HR department (manager wasn't in the office at the time) - manager then called me up and kept me on the phone for 20 mins to "make sure my work was covered". I was off for one day. ONE! She'd have survived.

Now I'm on the other side and managing people, I'm not bothered if someone takes a sick day. If you're unwell, you're unwell, and I trust people to not take the piss. The work isn't going to suffer because someone had one sick day.

Interestingly, my old workplace had a very high rate of absence and people in my team were constantly off sick, which I think was down to stress and it being a horrible place to work. Since covid and working from home, no one took a sick day in between March-December. WFH has made it a bit easier I think, if you've got an upset stomach you can probably manage that from the comfort of your own home, but screw commuting when you're feeling rotten.

 

[under the ivy]

I fractured my wrist on my way to work once (slipped on ice walking to the bus stop) and I knew I’d have to have it x-rayed. I rang my manager once I knew she’d be in the office, explained by saying I may not make it in today (I worked for the NHS in admin) and she was like ‘well can you update me afterwards?’ so of course I said yes. Anyway, I go to A&E and I’m waiting for my x-Ray and my manager turns up looking for me!!! Really couldn’t believe it. The lack of trust was astounding.

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

Can confirm retail/fast food is terrible for making you feel bad about taking time off sick. I used to work in a sandwich shop and had to take a day off for really bad period pains. So I call up the manager and explained, he asked me if I could take a paracetamol and come in anyway. I refused but felt like I was doing something wrong and it really didn’t help my pain which got worse when stressed.

I used to work in a supermarket too and you’d get the Spanish Inquisition in an interview when you returned. Return to work interviews were never pleasant, there was always the implication that you’d massively inconvenienced the whole work place by taking a day or two off no matter how sick you were, they’d demand doctors notes and all sorts even if it was just one day you were off. Obviously nobody has a doctors note after one day sick, it was so over the top. You got in less trouble at school for skiving.