Brummy Mummy #96 Babs doesn’t talk about Bruno, where CBBSte sleeps or her real dress size!

[AliceInWanderLost]

What I don’t understand is how hard was she pulling on her wellies in order to sprain her wrist?

in the past, she was used to steve removing her wellies for her as they were far too tight, so having to drag her own boots off her "delicious calves" and chunky trotters was obvs more of a challenge than she predicted! they must be a very tight fit is she had to pry a finger inside to coax them off her leg!

next time babs, maybe coat your calves in butter before pulling your boots on - y'know, better to waste a lump of marg than NHS time and resources in a bloody pandemic. if she goes to the doctors with a bruised wrist, i will be FUMING. just whack some ice on it - put that bag of frozen peas to good use. - and get on with your life. and claiming she hasn't been able to move it since, yet she hasn't even mentioned it until she noticed the bruise, which obvs reminded her the sprained wrist content she'd planned for this morning's pit stories, and then forgotten in all her blue monday excitement! if babs had been in pain since yesterday, there's no way she would have managed not to mention it until now - just think of that whole day's worth of sympathy and attention she's missed out on!

 

[Brummiewithanienotay]

Are we sure it’s not just dirt?!?

 

[Misssj80]

Are we sure it’s not just dirt?!?

Thats what I thought she was going to say it was

 

[Rainbow_rhythms]

Just when you think she can't get any more selfish and self important she decides to call the doctors for a small bruise on her arm.

 

[BonBon27]

Thats what I thought she was going to say it was

I thought her dodgy ke-Bab tattoo had smudged off

 

[Lady Doodle]

At this point I'm totally unsure whether the evening slurring is put on and she's trolling us with it, or she is heavily intoxicated

 

[HaggisInMyBin]

She doesn’t even need to order online and return them, she could go to m&s or any other shop and try a load on.

Except she probably doesn’t fit in primark anymore.

She lives about 6 miles from the 150,000 sq ft M&S at Longbridge. There’s a Poundland next to it and she’d pass a B&M en route. It’s a no brainier!

 

[Curveball]

All this body confidence is bullshit. It’s just a complete excuse to let herself go with no shame. Sometimes she looks like she struggles to move. How you allow yourself to get like that? She may be confident about how she looks but any doctor would tell her she needs to lose a fair amount of weight fit the sake of her health.

 

[OhhBacon]

All this body confidence is bullshit. It’s just a complete excuse to let herself go with no shame. Sometimes she looks like she struggles to move. How you allow yourself to get like that? She may be confident about how she looks but any doctor would tell her she needs to lose a fair amount of weight fit the sake of her health.

What frustrates me is she has the time and resources to do something. She works from home, and there doesn't appear to be a lot of work happening.
She could easily walk daily, join a fitness class, cook and drink water.

Not everyone has the privilege of the time and money she has to do something! She is also desperate for content. Improving her health really is a no brainer!

 

[shazbev]

I'm actually speechless that the yellow one is actually considering ringing her GP re a bleeping bruise..is she for real? I can barely walk thanks to nerve damage in my lower leg courtesy of an ongoing medical condition, and there was I being brave ,upping my codeine and walking with crutches cos I don't want to waste my drs/ consultant's time knowing things will improve in a couple of weeks!! Oh and Bab you may want to rethink your health choices, I heard today that a student I mentored 20 years ago when I was a health professional died of covid just before Xmas - she leaves a devastated husband and 3 children under 14...she was the same age as you and a damn sight healthier !!!! What will it take for Bab to have a wake up call ? I bloody despair .

 

[justlurking2345]

in the past, she was used to steve removing her wellies for her as they were far too tight, so having to drag her own boots off her "delicious calves" and chunky trotters was obvs more of a challenge than she predicted! they must be a very tight fit is she had to pry a finger inside to coax them off her leg!

next time babs, maybe coat your calves in butter before pulling your boots on - y'know, better to waste a lump of marg than NHS time and resources in a bloody pandemic. if she goes to the doctors with a bruised wrist, i will be FUMING. just whack some ice on it - put that bag of frozen peas to good use. - and get on with your life. and claiming she hasn't been able to move it since, yet she hasn't even mentioned it until she noticed the bruise, which obvs reminded her the sprained wrist content she'd planned for this morning's pit stories, and then forgotten in all her blue monday excitement! if babs had been in pain since yesterday, there's no way she would have managed not to mention it until now - just think of that whole day's worth of sympathy and attention she's missed out on!

Doesn’t she only have her ankle welly boots now though? Like how hard can they be to put on?
She also said “when I was putting my wellies on the other day” but then said that she hadn’t been able to use it for weeks? but only just remembered that she’d done something to it because it’s suddenly bruised? Bit weird

 

[Lady Doodle]

Doesn’t she only have her ankle welly boots now though? Like how hard can they be to put on?
She also said “when I was putting my wellies on the other day” but then said that she hadn’t been able to use it for weeks? but only just remembered that she’d done something to it because it’s suddenly bruised? Bit weird

I thought this too,,,,,
As per usual her story makes absolutely no sense!

 

[AliceInWanderLost]

Yes it is from the pamphlet

Cringeworthy Poem From Brummymummyof2 Emma Conway’s Poetry Book – Lime Goss

But I'm laughing it says 'that go upto my tit' not tits just so she can rhyme tit with hit!! Her 'poems' were so amateurish, I can't believe they were actually published it's an embarrassment.

her rhyming abilities are appalling - like, surely she could have re-phrased some of the wording simply so that line made sense! tights "that go upto my tit" is embarrassing! it makes absolutely no sense, and tbh, i think most toddlers have a better grasp of rhyming than babs - i'd be ashamed to have a pamphlet with my name printed on attached to such tit poetry. there are literal websites where you can search for rhyming words, yet babs quite obvs put in her usual level of zero effort, wrote each poem in one draft and just went with it, with absolutely no thought of bothering to edit or improve her attempts.

i'm no literary critic, but it's not even just the poor attempts at rhyming that make it so awful. the poems have no flow, because the structure of them is totally wrong. she's essentially just written a ection of sentences and grouped them together and labelled it a "poem", despite each line having its own individual number of syllables etc, so it sounds very clunky - "i have a funny relationship with my. tummy, it's soft and squishy and held humans that made me. a mummy" - it just doesn't flow.) it's not even as though she tried her hand at poetry and wasn't great - her attempts are shockingly bad, and with all the poor reviews - even from adoring babettes - i certainly wouldn't be plastering them all over my page two years later. she's clearly desperate for content if she's resorted to rehashing her car crash poetry.

and that's totally overlooking that fact that claims that she isn't defined by the size of her body - sure, babs #ALWAYSasize18 - she's 44 years old an drefers to her stomach as her "tummy" and she blatantly implies that she's somehow defied the apparent inevitability of never "finding a man", because SHE has a "tummy" and still managed to "find" steve, thus defying all the odds of a man ever being attracted to someone with a stomach, because only skinny girls have any hope of ever finding love! there's a message to send your kids! obvs she forgot that she's told everyone on multiple occasions that she was a size 10 when she met steve thus didn't possess the "mum tum" she's writing about.

 

[Maddogsmum]

OH. MY. GOD.
ITS A bleeping BRUISE YOU ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE. Get off your bleeping FAT ass, and lose some weight or buy clothes in your ACTUAL size instead of everything too small because you don’t want to admit you’re 3 sizes bigger than you say. You fat cankles obviously don’t fit in your ‘posh’ hunter wellies. It’s not the NHS’s fault you lie about your size and buy things that don’t fit so don’t waste their time with a bruise you got for trying to squeeze into things that are too small. It’s aFUCKING BRUISE. You’ve obviously managed to lift copious glasses of alcohol to your ugly gob judging by your slurring so you haven’t sprained it. Don’t you DARE phone your GP or any healthcare professional.
No-one, NOT ONE bleeping person gives a tit about your tiny pathetic bruise. Just duck off you complete selfish moron.

(disclaimer: I have awful PMS so I am less tolerant of her bullshit than usual and no Emma, a cake won’t help)

 

[HaggisInMyBin]

If she seeks medical assistance for a bruise I’ll out myself, take the block and stop hate watching her (not before I share the ‘in the wild’ not#size18 pictures that I’ve got on my phone from various Harborne spotters).

I cut my finger quite badly a few weeks ago on a compound mitre saw when doing DIY. There was no way I was going to A&E at the QE (her local hospital) so I superglued it together each morning until I could get it to hold with steristrips. I might fling a tube of Arnica gel up her drive (bitrude) after the school run.

 

[ShinyEspeon]

Emma. If you don’t like your tum then do something about it. You don’t have to just accept your size as if there is no other option. If you don’t like it change it. Or stop harping on about it! Because it obviously does bother you enough to write a shite poem about it!!!!!! No one will judge you for wanting to lose weight!

Because she preaches body positivity and a lot of that community actively tit on others for wanting to lose weight because it’s “fatphobic”. The whole movement preaches about accepting your body- as long as you’re putting weight on! Which I just don’t understand. You get one body and one life, why on earth you’d spend it getting fatter and fatter I don’t know. It’s like crabs in a bucket. The second anyone decides the best thing for themselves is to not be fat they’re treated like they’re “brainwashed by diet culture” instead of just. Wanting to feel better about themselves

 

[Whatsername]

Size 16 and size 18 dresses look great on her she says?? Really Bab? Really?

As for the sprained wrist, it‘s not prevented her from using the record button on her phone has it.

 

[MoodyMerde]

Size 16 and size 18 dresses look great on her she says?? Really Bab? Really?

As for the sprained wrist, it‘s not prevented her from using the record button on her phone has it.

Exactly! She can still scroll through Tattle too and re-share old pictures on her Instagram. She’ll just use it as an excuse to be even more lazy. It’ll be more #treatyoself to creme eggs and hot cocks (bit rude) whilst lounging in front of real housewives of shitsville. Aw, rest up poor Bab, hope your sharpie smudge bruise heals quickly so you can resume your normal busy werking week!

 

[AliceInWanderLost]

She doesn’t even need to order online and return them, she could go to m&s or any other shop and try a load on.

Except she probably doesn’t fit in primark anymore.

when you say she probably doesn't fit in primark anymore, do you mean primark clothes?! or the actual shop?!

 

[yourmum63]

ngl thought the bruise was an eyeshadow swatch, such a drama queen