Well well well. These threads are moving faster than Lewis Hamilton around a Grand Prix track
Thursday was of course the most scared day of the year, the one and only Kweeeen KeBab’s birthday. And what a day. A new thread on here got well over 200 comments on just that day, because Babs is the gift that keeps giving!
Following the early morning showing off about how loved she is by the whole world we had an outfit of the day - all her clothes are old which is so upsetting for everyone who wants to copy her style, but at least she can show us “how to put an outfit together”. Yeah. OK
She described her plans to go to Primark, the Disney shop (Disney Store Babs, it’s called the Disney Store) and Boots, so she could spend the voucher PUS’s parents got her on “crap”. How lovely, she’s just so appreciative of what she gets and just so aware of how lucky she is to have money to fritter away at the moment.
It then all went quiet. Very quiet. Sadly no sightings of Babs in the wild so we can only speculate where she went. Most of us think she went shopping at Primark overnight and then either stayed home for the day or broke tier 3 rules and met family. Just speculation but this is Babs we’re talking about
When she did reappear on Thurs afternoon it was to share photos of Erin through the years that she’s had done for her birthday next week and show off a New Look lounge suit with “traccy bs”
(I’m distressed by the word before anyone thinks I’m judging; I love a comfy lounge suit but 1.tracksuit bottoms are for exercise, not lounge wear, and 2.who the bloody hell would call them traccy bs?!?)
She also showed that PUS doesn’t hate all the crappy trinkets around the house because “he bought her”
another small house for her Christmas village. Ok Babs, we get it. He adores you, he spoils you, he doesn’t mind your tat. Blah blah blah.
More talk of plans for Erin’s birthday - mummy and me spa treatments. Quite sad that she hadn’t even had her own birthday dinner before she was moving on to the next thing. No appreciation for what is happening right at the end of her nose, just always looking for the next thing to cash in on. What a sad little life she does lead.
Some throwback pics of her and the kids where she looked so much happier and healthier. Before she sold out to the Gram life.
And then. The birthday bath. We got the bath bomb song
, must have been around the 6pm mark. So prime dinner, evening with the kids time and she’s off on her own having a bath. That she then told us lasted for two hours and made her bits prune. I mean.
But if you think that was the low point you’d be sadly mistaken. She had some kind of face mask on and filmed/photographed herself gurning and contorting and generally just embarrassing herself, set to a little video of poor poor Gary Barlow playing the piano. She openly admitted drinking cans of cocktails in the bath, and basically she did the equivalent of drunk texting the boy you fancy when you’re 18. Except he’s a celebrity and she shared it online. Where it will live forever. It was shameful. Shameful.
Friday began with chat from the pit, apparently she now has PMS dreams. They’ve moved on from being about her ex boyfriends
to being about old work colleagues
What a crock!
She shared the mugs as though they’ve been successful but we’ve seen the stock numbers! Today’s candle, a lazy elf with a biscuit photo and ANOTHER AD
No effort and as crappy as ever, this time for cleaning stuff. Even tho she never cleans. Except when she chats about polishing and dusting, which she just seems to have realised are two different things
She’s already moved onto Ethan’s birthday even though it is in the new year, because she is incapable of enjoying the moment.
A supermarket trip for cake and goodies. She just can’t have a day off from shopping and spending money can she??
A selfie to celebrate good school reports - what’s it got to do with you Babs? Why does it need your face?
She had A LOT of make up and a Christmas jumper on for her birthday quiz, cocktails by 5:30pm. I know there’s not much else to do in tier 3 but seems early for such an event? And she declared this morning she’ll let the kids watch I’m A Celeb later.......will she be awake that long?!?
The quiz threw up some golden child action as her and Erin were a team, separated from the boys because the kids argue so much. Then she claimed to have come 4th, then 5th, and then when she was tagged in someone else’s story with a screenshot of results, she had to admit they were 7th.
twit.
We then saw her and the kids in pyjamas ready to stay up to watch I’m A Celeb. Those kids are usually asleep by 8 and she’s usually asleep by 8:15 so this was a crazy night for the Conways indeed!
She encouraged Gi to win declaring how much she loves her, even though we’re pretty sure they’ve only met 2 or 3 times. But ride on those coat tails Babs
Funnily enough Gi’s win was never mentioned afterwards
Jealous much?!?
On Saturday morning we started with some photos, her hotties poll had another draw, then the wallpaper in the lounge because it’s being decorated today. So what does she have to do? She has to take down ALL of the bastard Christmas decorations! What an absolute bellend. Why not wait to paint and decorate in Jan??
Then we had a very strange post that started off about Erin coming up to her 10th birthday but was somehow twisted to be about Babs. Obvs. Erin had a made a list of all of the things she loves about her mum, which were worded in a way that made us wonder if in fact Babs had just made them up! Then, not that she reads Tattle or anything, it was followed by a story with the list in Erin’s handwriting. Babs could have forced her to copy it out, or Erin could have genuinely written it. If she did, Babs must really learn to keep some things private. She didn’t need to share it, why can’t it just be a lovely mother-daughter moment?
Bit of camera chat about the plans for the day, the rule of 6 means she can take the kids to meet her sister and folks for cupcakes (birthday calories don’t count right?!?) while the paper is stripped and one wall is painted and the tree is moved out for birthdays and flooring and all sorts.
twit.
Terrible PMS because she is “hurtling” to the menopause. Honestly one minute she’s claiming to be 21 and wearing clothes a 12 year old would be proud of, then the next she’s moaning about being nearly 50 and the menopause. Pick a side love!
Cupcakes with candles in on a picnic bench, the wallpaper being stripped, the daily candle that smells like men’s armpit
, a weird eye roll boomerang because the wall was painted, a recommendation for the company that ran her birthday quiz (not quite the home made affair she made it out to be!) and some gross looking hot dogs and chips as they sat down for a film. Quite a quiet day by her usual standards, popular opinion is she was busy nursing a hangover and breaking covid rules! No cinnamon rolls on a Saturday either.....shooketh.
Sunday started early with a film review and a photo of elves hanging out of a cupboard on candy canes. That scared her, so she obvs isn’t moving them herself
Then she was chatting about going to sleep at 8pm and being up at 4am - unless you have a newborn or a shift job there is no need for those hours. Sort your life out Babs! Boring shizzle about sorting washing and taking the girl for a birthday BFF walk was followed by a post about how Ethan still believes in all the elf/Santa magic and how lovely it is that he dances around the kitchen. She chose some stupid photos of her and Ethan to go with it. Much like the birthday list Erin did for her, these things can be kept private. Just for the family. You don’t have to make it all about you and your need for praise and attention Babs. Just keep some things personal, for your kids’ sakes.
There was a YouTube video where Babs shared what she got for her birthday, but full disclosure: I didn’t watch it. I just could not cope with the fury I knew it would bring me. How dare she??? Hauls are bad enough but a grown woman prattling through a list of things she got as presents??
Give. Me. A. Break. I’m just a woman. Who can’t cope. With
twit-ish, inconsiderate, showy-off, selfish Babs mode.
Then we had the cinnamon swirls -phew!-and a selfie on Babs in a coat before the walk. Then a selfie of a fully made up face of Babs after the walk. An AD for the overpriced diaries (that she doesn’t use) and a selfie of Babs pulling a stupid face over Erin’s homework. A selfie of Babs and the dog. A pic of Erin at the table because Babs feels lucky to have a #goldenchild. A selfie of a dressing gowned Babs at 5:17pm feeling like she was ready for bed
A selfie of a confused Babs who couldn’t believe her kids didn’t like the film she liked. A pic of a body spray the girl got that day and a selfie of Babs saying it reminded her of an old perfume we all had as teenagers.
That’s 7 selfies of her face in around 7 hours. I mean, it’s the ultimate in lazy instagramming right?? Can’t be arsed to set things up for a photo. Can’t be arsed to think about light, editing etc. Just take a picture of herself doing a stupid face, no matter what the topic of the story is, and it’s job done. And she gets paid a decent amount for this tosh. Shocking.
Also no candle on Sun so didn’t keep that daily effort up for long
Monday began with Babs posing and offering up screenshots for us Tattlers. She couldn’t make it anymore obvious that her content is all aimed at this thread. Hi Babs
Emma Thompson won the holiday hotties because Babs basically convinced all of her followers to vote for her as she has an emotional storyline in Love Actually. Thus proving again that she’s an idiot, because hotties should be about who you fancy, not who you feel sorry for.
Her content is all blurring into one looooong day with candles, throwback photos, washing baskets and ADs for the pamphlet. I’m sure she just posts the same thing every day!
Birthday balloons for the girl are already blown up. Not sure where they’re going to hide them in the tiny house. Not sure they won’t all pop and make them “scream”. Not sure why they say congratulations on them. Not sure I care or need to be told about it!
Her and the golden child did crafts in the bedroom while Ethan was at the table doing Beavers, Babs then made a load of content out of having Sharpie marks on the furniture and the advice she got to clean it off.
Ear plugs are the latest crap she’s spouting on about. We’re expected to believe that PUS is snoring so badly next to her. How long have they been married?!? And she’s only just discovered ear plugs. She’s nervous and excited about them.
Yeah I don’t really know either
Might change her life tho. Not sure how since it’s 99.9% likely PUS doesn’t snore next to her, but what do I know?!?
We began early doors on Tues with the Pink Stuff - someone told her it was good for cleaning so she’s bought some. Obvs. Spend spend spend! Throwback to another birthday, gnomie train of shoes the elf did and then the chat from the pit. The ear plugs did work because she couldn’t hear the snoring, but they hurt and she lost one. I mean, this is a very elaborate web she’s weaving. If she really wanted to answer the question of where PUS sleeps, she’d just take a photo of him or record the snoring at 2am. This whole ear plug thing just screams “the lady doth protest too much”. What a weird life, fancy having to make up that much crap and be a bare faced liar to try and feel like you’re winning against a bunch of strangers. So odd.
Candle today, stuck in the box
A new pair of boots for Babs cos she needs treats bless her. OOTD. An AD for Very (so much for her being a loyal Studio customer) where Ethan, who just LOVES to dance don’t you know, will teach them “70s dance”. I think she means disco or funk!
And then as a thank you to the loyal Babettes for putting up with the thousands of ADs she does she kindly offered 30 e mails. That’s right, you can send her an e mail telling her who will want to hear from her and she’ll send that lucky person a message. I mean, she could give away a mug or a bag or she could donate some of the freebies she gets from ADs, but no, our Babs is the Brum equivalent of Beyoncé and wants to share herself with the lowly peasants.
Predictably it got taken up by the Babettes so now she will be even more insufferable thinking that she’s SO popular and adored and loved and brilliant at her job. Lord help us.
She spent the afternoon wrapping presents and watching Netflix because she’s so busy and important
And it’s Erin’s birthday tomorrow so things are gonna get wild in Babs land as #goldenchild turns the big 1-0! Before 7pm they’d put up the photos of Erin through the years downstairs. I mean, most people I know have to wait till late to make sure their kids are asleep before they do secret missions for elves and fairies and birthday surprises, but in the Conway house they must be VERY strict about kids staying upstairs when the bedtime routine is in motion!
Eventually, after she waited aggggeeeees, they put all of the balloons in Erin’s room. I mean, it was before 9pm, but to Babs that might as well be 1am.
Then she finally got to go to bed....thank the Lord....and carried on with the earplug saga of crap.
Wednesday began with 9 stories about Erin, with sly digs at Ethan for not being quite as good a baby. Most of the writing was about Emma of course, because that’s how she rolls. A grid post about how much she loves being a mum to her daughter. 3 more stories showing Erin and then some chat about she’s tidying away presents. Because that’s it. The birthday is done. As always, she spends time and money building up to an event, going on and on about it, then it’s over before it’s begun and she’s on to the next one. Crazy way to live her life.
She got a freebie from Harry Potter, shown in a half hearted crappy effort. Obvs.
Vlog about organising the kitchen, almost as tho she’s trying to remind us that she has a tiny house with no space! And that she spends all her time there, never goes out breaking covid rules, oh no, not perfect Babs.
The place she went for a pedicure with Erin must have been good or offered her a freebie/discount because she put where it was on her stories. Then they went home for their kitchen party, which they graciously let the boys attend too. This got crazy with glow sticks in the dark, so much effort going into making up for the girl having a “pandemic” birthday. I guess Babs noticed the pandemic when she wanted to throw money at some place that would have sorted a whole party so she wouldn’t have had to do anything. But as it is she’s in her dressing gown and ready for bed before 7pm. It’s tiring having a whole day dedicated to you giving birth ten years ago I suppose
I have to say, birthdays do not bring out the best in our Babs at all
Thursday saw her awake and downstairs on her own before 6am, moaning cos she’s tired. D’oh! We have the final of her festive polls, which she clearly wants Emma Thompson to win. She seems to think it will reflect as her winning the poll, maybe cos they’re both called Emma?!? Let’s hope Elf wins! A candle that wasn’t the “
tit green one”. Lovely, grateful Babs! Carpet being torn up so furniture all over the place. She went out for a “business woman” walk with a mate, pretended they were socially distanced but good money says they weren’t!
She’s also getting the mugs out. Wow. Fancy paying £15 for a Christmas mug and getting it on the 15/16 Dec. What a load of crap!
Babs is very grateful to everyone who wished Erin a happy birthday, she was emosh about it. Who knew?!? She never said. She loves her followers..... because they pay for her tat addiction
I am aware there may be a bit of an angry tone to this recap and I’m sorry about that, what with it being the most wonderful time of the year and all. But she’s wound me up a lot this week!
Isn't she loveleeeeee 
