Breast feeding

[Bitofthebubbly]

When I was pregnant with my eldest I was desperate to breastfeed but the information I received from the nhs was sub par and barely covered anything apart from “breastfeeding is hard at first but it gets easier” And some crappy diagrams on how to get a proper latch. I went out and bought a breastfeeding book instead. I know people say you can’t ‘go by the book’ when it comes to parenting but that breastfeeding book was so incredibly helpful to me. I learnt pretty much everything I know about breastfeeding from it and it set me in good stead as I was able to breastfeed both of my children for 12months each. I doubt I’d have been able to manage that if I wasn’t equipped with actual facts on how breastfeeding works and things like why babies need to suckle a lot in the early days and how it is actually incredibly rare for women to be physically incapable of not making enough milk (something I was worried about and is also something I feel becomes a self fulfilling prophesy for many women). In comparison, the information the nhs gave out, along with being told so many incorrect things from well meaning family members, would have set me up to fail. Breastfeeding support is woefully lacking in the uk and misinformation still very prevalent.

Don’t get me wrong I still struggled especially the first time round But the only reason I didnt fail was because I sought the required info out myself. If the nhs really wants to improve breastfeeding rates they really need to put more effort into the breastfeeding guidance and support they give out (granted this was 8 years ago) not just spout “breast is best” with some very basic instructions on latch and expect mums to just know how it all works. So many mums for example think there’s something wrong with their milk if baby seems to constantly want to feed when in reality that’s very normal in the early day’s and is crucial for building a supply.

 

[Loiterer]

I generally read tattle with a boob out...

 

[Definitelyme]

When I was pregnant with my eldest I was desperate to breastfeed but the information I received from the nhs was sub par and barely covered anything apart from “breastfeeding is hard at first but it gets easier” And some crappy diagrams on how to get a proper latch. I went out and bought a breastfeeding book instead. I know people say you can’t ‘go by the book’ when it comes to parenting but that breastfeeding book was so incredibly helpful to me. I learnt pretty much everything I know about breastfeeding from it and it set me in good stead as I was able to breastfeed both of my children for 12months each. I doubt I’d have been able to manage that if I wasn’t equipped with actual facts on how breastfeeding works and things like why babies need to suckle a lot in the early days and how it is actually incredibly rare for women to be physically incapable of not making enough milk (something I was worried about and is also something I feel becomes a self fulfilling prophesy for many women). In comparison, the information the nhs gave out, along with being told so many incorrect things from well meaning family members, would have set me up to fail. Breastfeeding support is woefully lacking in the uk and misinformation still very prevalent.

Don’t get me wrong I still struggled especially the first time round But the only reason I didnt fail was because I sought the required info out myself. If the nhs really wants to improve breastfeeding rates they really need to put more effort into the breastfeeding guidance and support they give out (granted this was 8 years ago) not just spout “breast is best” with some very basic instructions on latch and expect mums to just know how it all works. So many mums for example think there’s something wrong with their milk if baby seems to constantly want to feed when in reality that’s very normal in the early day’s and is crucial for building a supply.

My personal experience (I have 3 kids, i breastfed the elder 2 of over 2 years each, youngest still feeds now at 22months) and the experience of a lot of friends and family is that often midwives are not well trained about breastfeeding, and therefore are unable to really help, and give out useful information in the first days and weeks after birth. In hospital they are also stretched so thin that they often don’t have the proper time, as knowledge, to help a mum out.

I generally read tattle with a boob out...

For feeding or just for fun?!

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

My personal experience (I have 3 kids, i breastfed the elder 2 of over 2 years each, youngest still feeds now at 22months) and the experience of a lot of friends and family is that often midwives are not well trained about breastfeeding, and therefore are unable to really help, and give out useful information in the first days and weeks after birth. In hospital they are also stretched so thin that they often don’t have the proper time, as knowledge, to help a mum out.

Agree I had a shocking experience with a midwife on my first night on the maternity ward. Baby wouldn’t stop crying, I had been trying for hours to get her to latch with barely any luck. So eventually I was brave enough to press the button for help, after all that’s what it’s there for. Someone came, I explained in almost tears that I couldn’t get her to latch or stop crying bearing in mind I was a new young mum scared shitless. Her response, and I appreciate she may well have been rushed off her feet and not properly trained in breastfeeding, was to say “well you’d better get her latched otherwise we will have to give her a bottle” and then she walked off and left me! Hardly in keeping with the ‘breast is best’ mantra. It made me feel like I was doing something wrong to even consider asking for help and that I should have just formula fed from the start.

I didnt bother asking for help after that instead I went to YouTube to watch latch videos and we got it down eventually, after lots of crying and one rude mum on my ward basically telling me to shove a dummy in and be done with it. It really upset me, it’s actually made me a bit teary even thinking about that memory, don’t think I ever felt as alone and scared as I did on that ward that night. I would love for the government to put some proper money into investing in nhs breastfeeding training, doubt it’ll ever happen though.

 

[Definitelyme]

Agree I had a shocking experience with a midwife on my first night on the maternity ward. Baby wouldn’t stop crying, I had been trying for hours to get her to latch with barely any luck. So eventually I was brave enough to press the button for help, after all that’s what it’s there for. Someone came, I explained in almost tears that I couldn’t get her to latch or stop crying bearing in mind I was a new young mum scared shitless. Her response, and I appreciate she may well have been rushed off her feet and not properly trained in breastfeeding, was to say “well you’d better get her latched otherwise we will have to give her a bottle” and then she walked off and left me! Hardly in keeping with the ‘breast is best’ mantra. It made me feel like I was doing something wrong to even consider asking for help and that I should have just formula fed from the start.

I didnt bother asking for help after that instead I went to YouTube to watch latch videos and we got it down eventually, after lots of crying and one rude mum on my ward basically telling me to shove a dummy in and be done with it. It really upset me, it’s actually made me a bit teary even thinking about that memory, don’t think I ever felt as alone and scared as I did on that ward that night.

That’s horrendous. My son cried every second of every day until he was 18mo except when he had a boob in his mouth. But I remember him howling on the ward and feeling like everyone was judging me for being a tit mum. That midwife sounds awful, I wonder how many mums have been turned off bf by her attitude alone?

 

[Eltonjohnsflorist]

You poor thing. The post natal ward is horrendous enough without that crap.
My last baby was briefly under the care of NICU (only for a minor infection, full
Term and healthy) and their feeding advice, and care of her, was fantastic. Light years away from post natal. They had a breastfeeding expert visit each patient. I know they deal with complex feeding situations but there was nothing unusual with me and I still got a detailed visit and multiple observations whilst I fed. The difference was like night and day

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

That’s horrendous. My son cried every second of every day until he was 18mo except when he had a boob in his mouth. But I remember him howling on the ward and feeling like everyone was judging me for being a tit mum. That midwife sounds awful, I wonder how many mums have been turned off bf by her attitude alone?

Yeah that feeling of being judged for the crying was awful! I think I was on a ward with 2 expectant mothers, who were absolutely lovely and never once complained - I was quite friendly with them in the end. And one more experienced mum who was on her second or 3rd. She was the one who made the dummy comment. Ironic really considering I was most worried about disturbing the pregnant mums yet the one who was already a mum was the most openly judgemental.

But yeah I probably would have taken that bottle that first night if I wasn’t already armed with breastfeeding knowledge and probably would regretted it (and spent a small fortune on tins of formula). I’d imagine many mums did and I wouldn’t have blamed them at all because trying to BF with little support as a brand new mum is so hard.

 

[Platypusfattypus]

My first was that baby who cried. I would go and sit in the tv lounge in the middle of the night and feed her so no one would tut at me. No midwives ever helped, when I asked they would just put her on my boob without asking if they could touch me. After two days I cracked and asked to feed her formula after they gave me a breastpump and told me to express and I got nothing out. They wouldn't let me feed her formula as they said it would upset her so they took her away and bought her back stuffed to the gills with formula. When I was discharged they told me not to let her go hungry and to top her up. But I'm a determined lass when I k ow what I want. It took me 8weeks but eventually i breastfed her exclusively until she stopped at 22 mths despite a very unsupportive health visitor and slow gaining baby. My second was a dream to feed, ten minutes then four hours between and she piled the weight on. I fed her until she was 4 then my third was a nightmare. Tongue tie, then slow weight gain etc but we got there and I fed him till he was 3.

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

You poor thing. The post natal ward is horrendous enough without that crap.
My last baby was briefly under the care of NICU (only for a minor infection, full
Term and healthy) and their feeding advice, and care of her, was fantastic. Light years away from post natal. They had a breastfeeding expert visit each patient. I know they deal with complex feeding situations but there was nothing unusual with me and I still got a detailed visit and multiple observations whilst I fed. The difference was like night and day

That’s amazing you got such fab feeding advice and support. It is such a shame that they cant be given the funding to provide that level of training for all midwives because it would make such a huge difference to breastfeeding rates in my opinion.

I did actually have someone who wasn’t a midwife come and see me the next day I think she was a lactaction consultant? She spent a good 2hours with me but even that wasn’t the best experience, she made passive aggressive comments about the size of my post partum belly getting in the way of trying to feed when lying down at one point. Apart from that she seemed to know her stuff but still.. no wonder I ended up depressed!

Fortunately when I had my second at the same hospital I had a much better experience. I had already gotten her latched after she was born before the midwives realised (They were well impressed) and I was home the next day so overall a much more positive experience but that was probably helped by the fact it was my second child so I was more experienced and confident etc.

So glad this thread got bumped it’s been like a therapy session

 

[Definitelyme]

My first was that baby who cried. I would go and sit in the tv lounge in the middle of the night and feed her so no one would tut at me. No midwives ever helped, when I asked they would just put her on my boob without asking if they could touch me. After two days I cracked and asked to feed her formula after they gave me a breastpump and told me to express and I got nothing out. They wouldn't let me feed her formula as they said it would upset her so they took her away and bought her back stuffed to the gills with formula. When I was discharged they told me not to let her go hungry and to top her up. But I'm a determined lass when I k ow what I want. It took me 8weeks but eventually i breastfed her exclusively until she stopped at 22 mths despite a very unsupportive health visitor and slow gaining baby. My second was a dream to feed, ten minutes then four hours between and she piled the weight on. I fed her until she was 4 then my third was a nightmare. Tongue tie, then slow weight gain etc but we got there and I fed him till he was 3.

Supermama!! Your boobs have paid their dues, no doubt about it!!

 

[Loiterer]

My personal experience (I have 3 kids, i breastfed the elder 2 of over 2 years each, youngest still feeds now at 22months) and the experience of a lot of friends and family is that often midwives are not well trained about breastfeeding, and therefore are unable to really help, and give out useful information in the first days and weeks after birth. In hospital they are also stretched so thin that they often don’t have the proper time, as knowledge, to help a mum out.



For feeding or just for fun?!

a bit of both but she definitely has what I like to call a permalatch!

 

[Definitelyme]

a bit of both but she definitely has what I like to call a permalatch!

Like bloody hoovers sometimes, aren’t they?! I love the word permalatch, that’s my life since I had kids. They bloody love a boob when they’re wee!

 

[chocolate choux]

Agree I had a shocking experience with a midwife on my first night on the maternity ward. Baby wouldn’t stop crying, I had been trying for hours to get her to latch with barely any luck. So eventually I was brave enough to press the button for help, after all that’s what it’s there for. Someone came, I explained in almost tears that I couldn’t get her to latch or stop crying bearing in mind I was a new young mum scared shitless. Her response, and I appreciate she may well have been rushed off her feet and not properly trained in breastfeeding, was to say “well you’d better get her latched otherwise we will have to give her a bottle” and then she walked off and left me! Hardly in keeping with the ‘breast is best’ mantra. It made me feel like I was doing something wrong to even consider asking for help and that I should have just formula fed from the start.

I didnt bother asking for help after that instead I went to YouTube to watch latch videos and we got it down eventually, after lots of crying and one rude mum on my ward basically telling me to shove a dummy in and be done with it. It really upset me, it’s actually made me a bit teary even thinking about that memory, don’t think I ever felt as alone and scared as I did on that ward that night. I would love for the government to put some proper money into investing in nhs breastfeeding training, doubt it’ll ever happen though.

Did this happen fairly recently? What a horrible experience for you

My daughter was born November 2018 and while I largely felt let down by the professionals, one area they excelled in was breastfeeding support. I had an extended hospital stay after birth and received intensive support from midwives and the lactation consultant. They were all encouraging and provided solutions to the issues that cropped up. The hospital is not highly regarded and my experience otherwise was bad so I felt really surprised!

A baby group I attended (funded but Barnardos) also had a breastfeeding specialist who was so knowledgeable and wonderful

I do think online resources are amazing and I found answers to every weird breastfeeding question I could think of, but having the real life professional support there was invaluable

There were a few professionals (and plenty of non-professionals!) who told me to just use formula and made me question myself and my abilities, but the majority completely disagreed with them. I remember having to take my daughter to the hospital due to her weight loss and the doctor instructing me to switch to formula. He completely shut me down when I asked if there was a way I could continue breastfeeding. A midwife came in afterwards and when I explained the situation to her, she immediately adapted the new feeding plan to include breastfeeding. Without that kind of support I worry I may have given up

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

Did this happen fairly recently? What a horrible experience for you

My daughter was born November 2018 and while I largely felt let down by the professionals, one area they excelled in was breastfeeding support. I had an extended hospital stay after birth and received intensive support from midwives and the lactation consultant. They were all encouraging and provided solutions to the issues that cropped up. The hospital is not highly regarded and my experience otherwise was bad so I felt really surprised!

A baby group I attended (funded but Barnardos) also had a breastfeeding specialist who was so knowledgeable and wonderful

I do think online resources are amazing and I found answers to every weird breastfeeding question I could think of, but having the real life professional support there was invaluable

There were a few professionals (and plenty of non-professionals!) who told me to just use formula and made me question myself and my abilities, but the majority completely disagreed with them. I remember having to take my daughter to the hospital due to her weight loss and the doctor instructing me to switch to formula. He completely shut me down when I asked if there was a way I could continue breastfeeding. A midwife came in afterwards and when I explained the situation to her, she immediately adapted the new feeding plan to include breastfeeding. Without that kind of support I worry I may have given up

It would have been back in 2012 so was a fair while ago now!

That’s so good you had a midwife sticking up for you after the doctor told you to stop breastfeeding. Doctors can be even more clueless on this stuff, as obviously they’re not trained in baby feeding i’d imagine. So difficult for us mums though who are being told conflicting info everywhere we turn in these settings.

 

[Definitelyme]

It would have been back in 2012 so was a fair while ago now!

That’s so good you had a midwife sticking up for you after the doctor told you to stop breastfeeding. Doctors can be even more clueless on this stuff, as obviously they’re not trained in baby feeding i’d imagine. So difficult for us mums though who are being told conflicting info everywhere we turn in these settings.

And trust that medical professionals know best, which in the case of bf isn’t always true.

 

[Death2unicorns]

Breastfeeding should be given a hell of a lot more respect and resource then it currently gets, for a start none of us would even be here right now if it weren’t for the fact that women can breastfeed,

breastfeeding enabled the continuation of the human race,

it helps save money on buying formula,

it benefits the environment by reducing the huge industrial processing and packaging involved in manufacturing formula,

It reduces consumption of cows milk thus helping the poor dairy cows who can be treated appallingly, pumped full of drugs to promote a huge oversupply of milk,

it promotes more skin to skin time between baby and mother which has huge benefits to the baby,

it is always ready, at the perfect temperature and you don’t need to worry about whether you sterilised the bottle properly or not, or whether the water was hot enough to kill the bugs which can lurk in formula,

it is a live bioactive fluid which is constantly responding to and changing in accordance with your babies needs, the science behind it really is incredible, not to mention the potential health benefits for the mother too,

the current low rates of breastfeeding are really disappointing, I really really hope the pandemic goes some way towards encouraging women to breastfeed, this whole crisis could have been absolutely catastrophic for formula feeding mothers, at the start of this whole thing when people suspected lock down was coming and stated ransacking the supermarkets I seen a woman crying in the baby isle as there was no formula left for her two week old baby, she had no car to drive to another supermarket, I imagine she managed to get some fairly quickly but imagine if the virus had been much worse and massively affected the manufacturing and supply chain of formula, many people could have been left without formula for really young babies

sorry for the long post, I read this thread from the beginning and some of the negative comments towards breastfeeding have really dismayed me, it’s just crazy how breastfeeding is now in the huge minority when it’s the biological norm and the very reason the human race was able to continue, what the hell has gone wrong?

This is absolutely not aimed at people who tried to breastfeed but couldn’t continue for various reasons by the way, there just seems to be a rising number of women willing to get pregnant and push a baby out but not willing to even try breastfeeding.

 

[Devondoll]

I had my baby 5 weeks ago, and honestly it was the best experience I've had in hospital! Hes my third, and I only breastfed my first two for the first few weeks. I just didnt enjoy it and felt self conscious when out in public. The midwives and breastfeeding support worker were so lovely. He would latch but not actually feed - turns out he was full of mucous and didnt feel 'hungry'.

I was nervous having a baby during a pandemic but it was such a positive experience. We're only 5 weeks into breastfeeding but I'm loving it this time. I've already done it out and about and honestly couldnt care less this time round. I said to my husband that if people moan about seeing my boobs then they're too close and no distancing

 

[Lovegin]

I’m so surprised that the support for breastfeeding has gone down so much, when I had my son nearly 21yrs ago, it was all the health professionals talked about, no one mentioned formula feeding at all

My late husband was given baby rice at 6 weeks (on advice from doctors), maybe I can use it as an excuse for him killing himself?? He didn’t have bad intestines though, neither do I despite being born in the 70s but my mums always used fresh food and not processed foods, processed foods are more likely to give you problems later in life

 

[ChloChlo]

I didnt want to breastfeed my son 14 years ago but felt so forced! The midwives on the post natal ward practically grabbed my boobs out and stuck him to them!

Fast forward 13 years I actually wanted to try, I was older and had more commitment. However, no support at all last year! A midwife in hospital made breastfeeding sound very old school and said "Oh we dont get many wanting to breastfeed here anymore". And perhaps it is just unpopular in this particular town because I asked the health visitor if she could check his latch because I was always sore. She literally told me "well breastfeeding really isn't everyones bag and to be honest I didn't bother myself". I was shocked! And gave up when he was around 10 weeks old.

 

[Katienana]

It's fine to bottle feed, the vast majority of babies are bottle fed, why else are there aisles of baby milk and bottles in every supermarket.
It reads just like an ad