Right, this is going to be a long one!
I’ve never posted before and I’ve been a silent reader on this thread for about a year now and have followed Beckie’s YouTube for about a decade. Not sure how I got to it probably her viral photo a day video but have been interested in her from a psychology perspective since.
I’m a doctor and have been qualified for 3 years now - perhaps why I’ve never posted before is I felt it somewhat unprofessional and that I would never want to hurt someone’s feelings but I hope this helps and I hope Beckie reads this as I genuinely want her to get appropriate help as her life is incredibly tragic and infuriating to watch. I’m a general doctor currently - aiming to specialise as a GP in the next few years but have had placements during medical school and within the previous few years I’ve been qualified as a doc in A&E, psychiatry and GP amongst others and I have a specialist interest in psychiatry. I work between A&E and acute medicine at the moment.
I strongly suspect Beckie has narcissist personality disorder (NPD) - in fact I’ve seen more evidence of this through her years and hours of footage and documentation than a psychiatrist would have at their disposal when diagnosing someone following assessment so I feel quite confident in this. I used to believe, wrongly, that narcissists were always the big loud cocky types (overt narcissism) however when I was on a placement on an eating disorder unit a few years ago the consultant psychiatrist explained it a different way and later understood it to be covert narcissism which I believe Beckie has.
The example came about as a patient (who had a diagnosis of NPD (as well as her eating disorder) was in a group therapy session which I was sitting in as as a medical student and being asked to share some of her current feelings. She refused to, as she said it would bring everyone’s mood down and ruin everyone’s week and the therapy wouldn’t work for her - despite everyone else in the session sharing. The psychiatrist was discussing this session afterwards with me and explained how her narcissism drove her ideology that her experiences were so much worse than everyone else’s, with the ability to ruin everyone’s day with how bad they were when in fact they wouldn’t have. It also drove her ideology that she was the only one unfixable. The consultant also believed her NPD unfortunately drove her eating disorder as her extremely low BMI meant she always got attention, sympathy and concern.
It made me really understand NPD in a way I hadn’t before and it’s why I feel Beckie has it. For someone who posts so regularly sometimes 10 stories a day she never really acknowledges anybody else. No current or word affairs, unless it relates to her for example the nhs cuts - she may mention her parents every so often but only when it relates to herself so the burden of care on her or “we” are fighting cancer etc. The world seems to exist to either help or hinder Beckie’s life and that’s its only purpose.
In terms of neurodivergency - I’m not taking her ASD or even potential ADHD diagnosis from her but I feel the overriding unaddressed condition she has is NPD which is a lot harder to admit but just like any other diagnosis both physical or mental should not be shameful and can be helped somewhat. This idea that the nhs is constantly failing her irks me as obviously the nhs is under insane pressure atm and clinicians are trying their absolute best and she behaves as though her ASD and now ADHD diagnosis are the key to her starting the rest of her life but unless she addresses the narcissism nothing will change. She will get diagnosed with ADHD as she knows the symptoms like the back of her hand and the majority of it is a self-assessment check list so she’ll get that diagnosis by the mere fact she wants it to badly. This dialogue that the world has let her down and not allowed her to start her life is unhelpful. If she wants an ADHD diagnosis to go with her ASD one fine but it will not change anything in my opinion. I have many friends with ADHD and the day they got their diagnosis, although very validating and helpful in explaining it, the world doesn’t treat you differently. I would argue that she functioned very well with her ASD/ADHD - at Uni etc, albeit masking which I am sure is exhausting. ASD and ADHD do not get worse with age but Beckie appears to be struggling more now than she ever has and I fear that she has allowed these diagnosis to define her and is lamenting in “lost time” whilst waiting for life to start for her.
I see a huge amount of very vulnerable patients each week who are suffering greatly, both psychologically and physically and they have not half of the resources or support network that Beckie could access. Unfortunately the NHS is on its knees and I feel terrible daily that the service I work within cannot help people more but that’s how it is right now and having the attitude that you are owed so much from a resource that just doesn’t exist right now will not help. The nhs cannot fix everything and cannot be relied on to sort out Beckie’s life. She will not win an award at the end of her life for enduring the most suffering so the best thing she can do is be grateful for what she has and as a matter of urgency, enroll in therapy. It’ll do her so much more good than an adhd label or talking into her camera and will be so much more valuable than overpaying the mortgage etc.
Beckie if you are reading this, please get a good therapist and watch how your life can change. You have a lot of potential and lamenting in the woe is me narrative is not going to progress you. This is a website where you can find a registered practitioner -
https://www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists
I would genuinely love to see her get help. NPD has a lot of negative connotations but it’s not your fault if you have it but you do need to address it and therapy is going to be way more helpful than any ADHD diagnosis or medications (in my opinion!)
