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Mark81
VIP Member
This is a really odd take. There are loads of things on streaming with difficult subject matters. Child locks exist, and there are ratings and trigger warnings. Don't see the issue.
Boogs
VIP Member
I guess something that he really showed was that people who are victims of SA do questionable things that don’t seem to make sense. Often as a way to try and control the narrative and take control of a situation where their control was taken away from them. I think Baby Reindeer really demonstrated well how self loathing after SA can lead you into lots of strange risky behaviour. It was really tough viewing but I commend Richard Gadd for putting all his complex vulnerabilities into this and showing warts and all what trauma can do to a person.
moggymogs
New member
stalking is horrific, i was stalked for two years by a guy , i had started a job and befriended a regular customer , as he told me sob stories , helped him with adopting a cat . i helped measure curtains etc . he seemed to think we were in some sort of relationship. which it wasn’t . i was married with children . i had to tell him enough , as he was telling people stuff that wasn’t true . he managed to get my phone number from my work , from the back of the office door for contact numbers as i was a manager . he would ring all hours leaving messages on the answer phone pretending to be all difffent guys who i had apparently given my number and was arranging to meet . he turned up at my children’s school just watching us .
questioning other male customers asking them if they had been with me , then making horrible stuff up where everyone was talking about me . like id been having sex in a back of a van with 6 guys etc .
he came to my work every day and sat in the bar just staring at me .
he had lied about having a disabled brother , he didn’t even have a brother . he said he had a high powered job and carried a brief case everywhere, all that was in there was a mobile phone and his lunch . the cat suddenly disappeared and his neighbour was sure he had done something to the cat .
Anyone i was having a conversation with in the bar , he would then target them to tell them things . which were awful and not true .
i was still having to serve him , and he would say under his breath , i bet you hate every bone in my body i am not going away . he got barred in the end .
then he pissed all over my car and let my tyres down.
i left my job stopped going out . this was in the 90’s police wasn’t interested.
his car was always driving by when i was doing school run . if i was in a supermarket he would appear there . i moved in the end . my husband had warned him and warned him but the guy just didn’t care .
2 years of pure hell
questioning other male customers asking them if they had been with me , then making horrible stuff up where everyone was talking about me . like id been having sex in a back of a van with 6 guys etc .
he came to my work every day and sat in the bar just staring at me .
he had lied about having a disabled brother , he didn’t even have a brother . he said he had a high powered job and carried a brief case everywhere, all that was in there was a mobile phone and his lunch . the cat suddenly disappeared and his neighbour was sure he had done something to the cat .
Anyone i was having a conversation with in the bar , he would then target them to tell them things . which were awful and not true .
i was still having to serve him , and he would say under his breath , i bet you hate every bone in my body i am not going away . he got barred in the end .
then he pissed all over my car and let my tyres down.
i left my job stopped going out . this was in the 90’s police wasn’t interested.
his car was always driving by when i was doing school run . if i was in a supermarket he would appear there . i moved in the end . my husband had warned him and warned him but the guy just didn’t care .
2 years of pure hell
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HarryToby
Well-known member
Having been stalked by somebody eerily similar to her in every way from looks to behaviour, I feel no sympathy whatsoever for her being identified.
Those fuckers ruin lives. I haven't seen 'my' mad cow for almost 10 years and I live 200 miles away now but still get adrenaline surges and panic whenever I see a car like the one she drove.
I also don't have much time for the 'pity her, shes ill' mindset either. I have somebody in my family who is diagnosed with a severe MH condition which manifests as psychosis and she has scared the crap out of me and my small children many times.
Innocent people shouldn't be collateral in the pursuit of someone 'getting the help they need'
Apologies in advance if this offends anybody, I've lived through and seen too much of this type of behaviour I have complete compassion fatigue.
Lock her up and throw away the key if she can't refrain from stalking people and the constant outpouring of racism and homophobia.
Those fuckers ruin lives. I haven't seen 'my' mad cow for almost 10 years and I live 200 miles away now but still get adrenaline surges and panic whenever I see a car like the one she drove.
I also don't have much time for the 'pity her, shes ill' mindset either. I have somebody in my family who is diagnosed with a severe MH condition which manifests as psychosis and she has scared the crap out of me and my small children many times.
Innocent people shouldn't be collateral in the pursuit of someone 'getting the help they need'
Apologies in advance if this offends anybody, I've lived through and seen too much of this type of behaviour I have complete compassion fatigue.
Lock her up and throw away the key if she can't refrain from stalking people and the constant outpouring of racism and homophobia.
ahtisyourself
VIP Member
It wasn’t
I don’t particularly care about knowing who she is and it was never an itch I needed to scratch tbh. But I’m not going to pretend I’m outraged about it. The woman is abusive, violent and should be avoided at all costs and if her name being “out there” means even one person avoids crossing her path then job well done. If “she” was a “he” everyone would want him named and shamed. She’s dangerous. Mentally unwell or not. I don’t get the faux concern for her well-being when I’d wager we all watched her actions played out in sheer disgust
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ButtonDownTheHutches
VIP Member
It’s certainly odd to read twenty pages of posts about a programme that aired a fortnight ago, has been watched by masses of people and is being discussed extensively all over the internet, yet to assume that everyone is adhering to a code of secrecy pertaining to anything that happens after episode 4.
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I binge watched this last week and while I did think it was well made and gripping, something about Richard Gadd left me feeling really unsettled.
i live in north London and about ten years ago used to spend a lot of time at comedy shows/live music stuff in and around Camden and got to know a few of the people on that circuit (although not very well, I didn’t stalk any of them, lol!). Based on that experience, he wrote the struggling ‘satirical’ comedian really well! That’s what they’re all like!
I do think Gadd is slightly disingenuous throughout - he sort of touched on his poor choices but still made himself out to have been the victim - the other people around him like his ex-gf and her mother who didn’t make poor choices but were still dragged into his chaos and abused. Poor Teri was treated appallingly but it was all about poor old Richard, even when she was literally assaulted. Teri being beaten up was literally a side note in how it affected him. Again with his dad making the confession about being a victim of SA, he is flabbergasted because clearly there is only room for one victim in the Richard show. I am not sure that was his intent in those scenes but that is certainly what came across to me.
He is also HUGELY disingenuous about his own privilege. He portrays his life as ‘struggling bar man in a more or less empty old man pub with meathead colleagues’ - not sure that is an accurate portrayal of the Hawley arms? Living in a huge house in London subsidised by your ex partners family???? What the fuck? Most of us would have had to just go home and get a 9-5. He slagged everyone off for having ‘more’ (success, money, fun) but everyone was so nice to him and honestly I couldn’t really see what he brought to the table he was so unlikeable. It was weird how he was such a moaning bastard but everyone made sure he landed on his feet everytime- the party friends who gave him a room at reduced rent, the gf for not being dead happy that she was doused in Diet Coke for having the audacity to walk down the street, Teri for letting him stay. He didn’t even have to buy his own bloody coat! I wanted to shake him for being such an entitled cunt!
i live in north London and about ten years ago used to spend a lot of time at comedy shows/live music stuff in and around Camden and got to know a few of the people on that circuit (although not very well, I didn’t stalk any of them, lol!). Based on that experience, he wrote the struggling ‘satirical’ comedian really well! That’s what they’re all like!
I do think Gadd is slightly disingenuous throughout - he sort of touched on his poor choices but still made himself out to have been the victim - the other people around him like his ex-gf and her mother who didn’t make poor choices but were still dragged into his chaos and abused. Poor Teri was treated appallingly but it was all about poor old Richard, even when she was literally assaulted. Teri being beaten up was literally a side note in how it affected him. Again with his dad making the confession about being a victim of SA, he is flabbergasted because clearly there is only room for one victim in the Richard show. I am not sure that was his intent in those scenes but that is certainly what came across to me.
He is also HUGELY disingenuous about his own privilege. He portrays his life as ‘struggling bar man in a more or less empty old man pub with meathead colleagues’ - not sure that is an accurate portrayal of the Hawley arms? Living in a huge house in London subsidised by your ex partners family???? What the fuck? Most of us would have had to just go home and get a 9-5. He slagged everyone off for having ‘more’ (success, money, fun) but everyone was so nice to him and honestly I couldn’t really see what he brought to the table he was so unlikeable. It was weird how he was such a moaning bastard but everyone made sure he landed on his feet everytime- the party friends who gave him a room at reduced rent, the gf for not being dead happy that she was doused in Diet Coke for having the audacity to walk down the street, Teri for letting him stay. He didn’t even have to buy his own bloody coat! I wanted to shake him for being such an entitled cunt!
Ingognito.Queen
VIP Member
frillylilly
Chatty Member
I think the people who are trying to find 'the real Martha' have completely misunderstood the point of the show tbh
Diagnosis123
VIP Member
Martha, confirmed Tattler 
iieee
VIP Member
They havent even said how it ended though?! Maybe don't read the thread if you're so touchy about spoilers.
Can’t describe how bizarre it felt when I realised when scrolling on Twitter last night (after watching the show last weekend) that the odd woman who followed me on Twitter in 2016 and liked some of my tweets despite having the complete opposite viewpoints to me was the real life Martha 
I honestly think Richard Gadd is a bit of a fame hungry arse. I think he came across as quite unlikeable in the show. Don’t get me wrong, what he went through was horrendous, but to say he changed the character or Martha so much that she wouldn’t even recognise herself, when he blatantly didn’t, was a bit of a dick move. It was obvious the internet would find her so why lie just so he could take the moral high ground and make it appear as though he’s empathetic to her issues and is trying to protect her identity.
He knew what he was doing with Baby Reindeer and he absolutely knew how the public would react. Nobody is that naive to think it wouldn’t have any kind of backlash
He knew what he was doing with Baby Reindeer and he absolutely knew how the public would react. Nobody is that naive to think it wouldn’t have any kind of backlash
goldengyal
Well-known member
That person could have just saved themselves the effort of typing that thread out and us the time of reading it because what exactly is their point?
At no point have I seen RG try to come across as a spectacular, completely healed human being who is incapable of doing any wrong.
It definitely seems like someone trying to get their 15 minutes of fame off the back of the hype about the show and it stinks.
At no point have I seen RG try to come across as a spectacular, completely healed human being who is incapable of doing any wrong.
It definitely seems like someone trying to get their 15 minutes of fame off the back of the hype about the show and it stinks.
swipeupqueen
Chatty Member
Sorry but her latest fb status calling him a 'wee wazzock' has absolutely sent me west with laughter
There is no way that FH isn't Martha, no way at all.
Also...fun fact: Jessica Gunning is from my village so she has done amazing to hide her thick yorkshire accent with Martha's Scottish one!
There is no way that FH isn't Martha, no way at all.
Also...fun fact: Jessica Gunning is from my village so she has done amazing to hide her thick yorkshire accent with Martha's Scottish one!
ButtonDownTheHutches
VIP Member
I’d take that Twitter thread with a giant side-order of salt. Person A & Person B went on a couple of dates, they didn’t hit it off, their personalities did not align, nothing happened between them, they went their separate ways. Person A’s therapist offers a remote diagnosis of Person B despite having never met them and based solely on hearsay. Person B acquires a degree of fame/acclaim, Person A recounts the non-story of the nothing much that didn’t happen between them. 
CaptainHolt
Active member
At no point whilst watching, with the exception of episode 4, did I feel sympathy for him. That is why I enjoyed the program, it's laying out a story about some very damaged people and as a viewer you're seeing all the shades of grey - he hasn't even portrayed himself as a victim, instead laying bare the absolute chaos of leading Martha on (having a wank over her pic!) and his return to his abuser with no real explanation as to why he went there.
I'm very lucky to not be the victim of SA or stalking so I'm very much on the outside looking in and I kept thinking "but why are you doing xyz!?" and "why doesn't he tell xyz!?" and feeling infuriated at his lack of positive action. However that's his point isn't it - he was so messed up for various reasons that logic went out of the window and he acted purely on making himself feel something - be that love, lust, sadness, fear, excitement, etc. In the process he used Martha's obsession with him to his own ends and he treated Teri appallingly.
So this stuff coming out about him being an unpleasant person - it isn't a surprise is it, he laid it all bare. A SA victim is a victim regardless of whether they are a nice person or not.
I'm very lucky to not be the victim of SA or stalking so I'm very much on the outside looking in and I kept thinking "but why are you doing xyz!?" and "why doesn't he tell xyz!?" and feeling infuriated at his lack of positive action. However that's his point isn't it - he was so messed up for various reasons that logic went out of the window and he acted purely on making himself feel something - be that love, lust, sadness, fear, excitement, etc. In the process he used Martha's obsession with him to his own ends and he treated Teri appallingly.
So this stuff coming out about him being an unpleasant person - it isn't a surprise is it, he laid it all bare. A SA victim is a victim regardless of whether they are a nice person or not.
squishbish
Well-known member
Imo she admitted it was her from the first post, she literally said “some fat ugly woman called Martha being played by an actress pretending to be me”