My husband's cousin has a daughter that is on the spectrum and when she was little, before her autism diagnosis, everyone thought that she was just a mean little shit. Her parent's were lazy and never, ever disciplined or re-directed her at all so she really was like a feral child. With several of his cousins, we all had children around the same age. This child's behavior was so bad that we all just agreed that we would not invite each other's children to birthday parties, summer swimming parties, etc. so that we didn't have to invite her & her family. Of course, we couldn't avoid them altogether because of holidays and stuff. But when we would go to my husband's grandparent's house, his grandmother would not tolerate her being mean to the other children and would actually discipline her so she didn't act like that at their house. My point is, even with an autism diagnosis, Jess could have been disciplined and re-directed as a child and they would not have to worry now about her having a tantrum if someone accidentally bumps into her or that she will yell, scream and curse at someone who is just trying to cut her hair. It all boils down to the fact that her parents were lazy and did not want to put the work into making her a socially acceptable person who could go out in public or sit in a classroom with her peers. I have never seen them be consistent with anything much like my husband's cousin and his wife. They play the victim card a lot and tell everyone how hard it is. And I'm sure that it is hard but it's totally worth it in the end IMO.
100% accurate.
We have 3 children our middle child was diagnosed as nonverbal autistic at age 3. She's now 24.
Kids in general are work...it's our responsibility as parents to raise, teach, encourage, support and help these children grow into adult hood.....Autism is not an excuse to neglect these.
In fact...it's more important , hard work, lots of dedication, frustration ...educating ourselves...seeking out professional help, advice and support ...discipline , repitition , patience, consistency are crucial.
Our autistic daughter has manners...does not eat like an animal with her hands, does not schlaaaap people ...in fact respects people's space and understands the importance of keeping her hands to herself. She does " stim" but has been taught its not acceptable to do some of her stims like squealing in restaurants ....
Being diagnosed nonverbal communication was hard...but today she has a lovely vocabulary with manners and is still in therapy to help her increase her words.
She also understands there are consequences for certain behaviours ....we realize many of her behaviours she couldn't control but with years of practice she's improved some behaviours , stims etc... Are fine...when they aren't harmful to her or others...
Regardless of autism or not... It's not an excuse to allow your child to act feral, to eat like an animal, put hands on people, be rude and hateful because you don't like your hair brushed or cut...LIE make up stories to get your way.... Obsessing over food, unhealthy food choices, texting people all hours of the night...yelling , screaming at teachers, children etc... These behaviours from a 35 year old ADULT shows nothing but lazy parenting at its finest. In all honesty it's neglect borderline abusive. To have lived for 35 years and not been taught to not watching your hands? Sad. To get angry and violent having your hair brushed? Really that shows zero effort was put in by Val to address this and help her daughter work through it!
Yes as parents/ caregivers we have to pick our battles... BUT hygiene, gentle hands, indoor voice, manners, using a utensil are non-negotional ...
Val has done nothing to help in Jess's development has not taught her tools to cope...
Jessica is a 35 year old bully/brat... Who runs that house because there are no rules, no accountabilty, no structure, no tools were taught to her for 35 years... So she is feral, with unbrushed hair, picking scabs, snotty face rubbing, crotch scratching, slapping people's faces, grabbing and touching food with those same germy,snotty hands,she's just a force to be reckoned with.
Her mean demented nature, with the lazy attitude and greedy food obsession and lack of respect/manners is all in how she was raised and neglected by Val. Period.
This is NOT autism. This is neglected parenting and manipulation of a very selfish women who schemes along with her family to take advantage of a severely schizophrenic IDD visually impaired individual for the idea of grifting, making up sob stories hinting for cash and donations ...She's quit her job to become a youtuber...living in her pyjamas all day, pretending her and " Bad daddy" don't live together so she can scheme those tax perks!
