Autism moms and advocates

[PandoraSkye]

From what I heard. Nicole (my boy blue) is actually working with my canine companion. Elaine doesn’t follow them (my boy blue) anymore. Elaine was very close to linzy. Linzy raised the funds (which she still has and people fundraised for her too) for the dog around the time Elaine did. Elaine got a dog and linzy didn’t. I’d be fuming too if I went to the lengths linzy did to get a dog for her child. There was talk of Nicole having a role to play in why she didn’t get one. Which if it’s true is actually disgusting. I think that’s why the friendships ended... plus I did hear of the WhatsApp group but don’t know what was going on inside it.

There was beef between Nicole and Elaine before they were both big, even before Nicole had her page, I know a girl who knows Nicole. She said that something happened on an autism mum FB group between them years ago, that's what Elaine didn't participate in the first campaign Nicole did. I also have a feeling something happened between Elaine and Linzy as well, I read before it had something to do with when Linzy's husband was ill (collapsed, can't remember what actually happened) not one of her snapchat "friends" text her or gave her any support. I haven't followed Linzy since she put her snapchat on private but I really enjoyed watching her, thought she was a great laugh and Jamie an adorable boy.

On another note....the canine companion dogs...I don't understand why they use that breed.. aren't they normally bread from puppy farms? Also I cringe at the thought the poor dogs never get brushed properly, they must be seriously matted by the time they get to a groomer poor things

 

[anydaynow]

I really like Elaine. She has a very tough life. I admire her honesty.

I can appreciate people feeling empathy towards her whens she's upset but honestly her life wouldn't be tough if she just accepted her children for who they are, they are happy and healthy children they are just not what she wanted. I am speaking from experience, she is wallowing in the fact that her children are not what she hoped and thats no life to live. It's normal to compare our children to others and yes it hurts sometimes when i think my daughter might never be independent but I respect her autonomy and I fully accept her for who she is.

We as mothers can educate and advocate for acceptance without parading our already vulnerable children online but how will anyone ever accept autism if the parents cant even accept their own children.

 

[Taylor17]

I can appreciate people feeling empathy towards her whens she's upset but honestly her life wouldn't be tough if she just accepted her children for who they are, they are happy and healthy children they are just not what she wanted. I am speaking from experience, she is wallowing in the fact that her children are not what she hoped and thats no life to live. It's normal to compare our children to others and yes it hurts sometimes when i think my daughter might never be independent but I respect her autonomy and I fully accept her for who she is.

We as mothers can educate and advocate for acceptance without parading our already vulnerable children online but how will anyone ever accept autism if the parents cant even accept their own children.

Yes, Elaine has never accepted the children's diagnosis. Her life seems like hell and she looks like she crying out for help, practically on the verge of breakdown. I swear I thought that was normal for a parent who has 2 children with such high needs. It's total ignorance on my behalf and I have learned something valuable here.

 

[Teaspillingtheory]

I'm not a fan of Elaine, don't like the restriction breaking etc but come on! How are people without additional needs kids supposed to learn what its like for our families if people like Elaine and Lenore just show the "good", i know several people close to me would never know half the things that happen in my house, unless they actually see them. Also telling a parent of a child with severe additional needs to accept it and get on with it, HELLO, maybe you have been able to magically accept this completely different to what was expected and extremely tough life but others can't do that so easily!

 

[anydaynow]

I'm not a fan of Elaine, don't like the restriction breaking etc but come on! How are people without additional needs kids supposed to learn what its like for our families if people like Elaine and Lenore just show the "good", i know several people close to me would never know half the things that happen in my house, unless they actually see them. Also telling a parent of a child with severe additional needs to accept it and get on with it, HELLO, maybe you have been able to magically accept this completely different to what was expected and extremely tough life but others can't do that so easily!

I don't dislike Elaine as a person, my issue and the issue autistic people have with parents like her is the fearmongering and being victims of their own children. I have never said her life isn't hard I am living the same one but her children should be respected enough to have their privacy especially in their most vulnerable moments. I learn from people with actual lived experience of autism, non speaking autistic children and adults who will tell you they don't want to be feared or treated like they are less than everyone else. These children deserve better than their own parents telling thousands of strangers how much they wish their kids were different and anyone here who agrees with that is as ableist at they are.

 

[Dusty2020]

I'm not a fan of Elaine, don't like the restriction breaking etc but come on! How are people without additional needs kids supposed to learn what its like for our families if people like Elaine and Lenore just show the "good", i know several people close to me would never know half the things that happen in my house, unless they actually see them. Also telling a parent of a child with severe additional needs to accept it and get on with it, HELLO, maybe you have been able to magically accept this completely different to what was expected and extremely tough life but others can't do that so easily!

I agree, I’d never realise what it is like for children with additional needs and their families only for them, very ignorant of me but when it’s not in my life I wouldnt think of what parents and children go through! I don’t blame her for getting upset, and angry or wishing her life was different, she has been dealt her hand that she has no other choice but to get on with it and I think she does very well for the life she has, I don’t want to offend anyone at all that has kids with additional needs I’m just saying life can be tit for us all but shitter for some

 

[Teaspillingtheory]

Thanks for the lecture. I didnt realise that just because you have the same diagnosis as my son, you know his mind better than I do. I could do with your help if you are able to know exactly what is going on inside every autistic persons head, that they all think exactly the way you think. So enlightening or maybe you are trying to put autistic people in a nice neat box like everyone else does Everyone is different, you mind yourself and let me look after my child and Elaine look after hers!

 

[anydaynow]

Thanks for the lecture. I didnt realise that just because you have the same diagnosis as my son, you know his mind better than I do. I could do with your help if you are able to know exactly what is going on inside every autistic persons head, that they all think exactly the way you think. So enlightening or maybe you are trying to put autistic people in a nice neat box like everyone else does Everyone is different, you mind yourself and let me look after my child and Elaine look after hers!

You have totally missed my point and assumed I am judging you on how you care for your child. I think i have been quite clear that I don't agree with vulnerable children being paraded online for the reason to show how hard the parents life is. If you took that personal thats not my problem, i have enough respect for my daughter not to show her off at her worst. I am speaking from the childrens point of view but you are all seeing it from the parents, it's not about you.

 

[Ihavenoideawhatiamdoing]

Autistic adult here - what really annoys me is adults calling themselves an autism mum, your child is autistic not you, filming meltdowns and woe is me my child is autistic attitude. hashtag #actuallyautistic will find you the adults hopefully.

 

[Aruba]

My son has autism so I know them all. I have followed all mentioned at some stage.

Joining the dots is another account that absolutely hates the hand she has been given and I find all her posts overly passive aggressive and mostly defensive.

Lenore just makes me anxious. I feel I am waiting for her to have an absolute breakdown. What she has taken on charity wise is mind boggling. Commendable ....but how does any of it benefit her family.

I like Elaine a lot. Her children are divine.
However.......every time she does a big snot of a sniff, I want to reach down the phone and throttle her though Is she not aware. OMG!!

 

[Moderator]

Hi all, please only talk about accounts with a large following of around at least 10k. Tattle only really considers large accounts that use social media to make money fair game

 

[Femma]

Autistic adult here - what really annoys me is adults calling themselves an autism mum, your child is autistic not you, filming meltdowns and woe is me my child is autistic attitude. hashtag #actuallyautistic will find you the adults hopefully.

I agree , I hate the term's " Autism Mammy" "Mammy warrior" etc. Like its the encompassing element in your relationship with your child.
I'll tell you what annoys me.
Mothers posting status's looking for attention and attaching their child's diagnosis as a badge.
E.g , you may have seen this on the (Make a house a home) , page on Facebook this week.
A woman posted a pic of her Xmas tree with a status saying this " After a tough 2020 as a full time carer the 1st lockdown was particularly tough on us, my eldest son 8 has ASD to see the smile on his face looking at all the lights. Merry Christmas ."

Why??? I don't see the need to broadcast this except for people to say " well done you " must be so hard for you etc.
It boils my blood.
I've a daughter who is autistic. She is the easiest child I have. So easy to get along with, so mannered and well behaved. A joy to be around. I'm sick of these negative stereotypes.

I agree , I hate the term's " Autism Mammy" "Mammy warrior" etc. Like its the encompassing element in your relationship with your child.
I'll tell you what annoys me.
Mothers posting status's looking for attention and attaching their child's diagnosis as a badge.
E.g , you may have seen this on the (Make a house a home) , page on Facebook this week.
A woman posted a pic of her Xmas tree with a status saying this " After a tough 2020 as a full time carer the 1st lockdown was particularly tough on us, my eldest son 8 has ASD to see the smile on his face looking at all the lights. Merry Christmas ."

Why??? I don't see the need to broadcast this except for people to say " well done you " must be so hard for you etc.
It boils my blood.
I've a daughter who is autistic. She is the easiest child I have. So easy to get along with, so mannered and well behaved. A joy to be around. I'm sick of these negative stereotypes.

And before anyone says it , yes I know its a spectrum and everyone is different and has different experiences and struggles but don't post these private struggles over and over as public status's to vent. You must remember your child is a person , an individual with their own rights to privacy. Unless you have their permission. Zip it!

 

[PandoraRose]

Just on my break in work, and one of the girls was venting that lenore is now fundraising to bring her daughter to Africa with her?

 

[anydaynow]

Another mam was telling me today that Nicole Duggan is under fire in a few autistic adult groups over a video she posted a couple of weeks ago. I watched the video today and it’s awful, you would think she was talking about an terminally ill child. My friend sent me the screenshots she said she deleted all of their comments

 

[Taylor17]

She's a horror. If she's trying to show the world her life is terrible due to her son having autism, it isn't working. No matter what her angle would be on Instagram to get her freebies and fame, she isn't a likeable person.

 

[#obsssessed]

Me right now

 

[Lucydowl]

Elaine has been very quiet today, if she’s seen this thread she’ll be on guns blazing tomorrow telling everyone how awful her life is again looking for sympathy. Then her bestie Lenore will be on backing her up and then all the rest of the autism moms will be on tagging her and praising her for being so open about hating her life with her kids

ELAINE SPENDS HER TIME MOUTHING FOUL LANGUAGE AND COMPLAINING ON THE RACIO ABOUT EVERYTHING YET HAS BOTOX DURING LOCKDOWN AND BUILDS A PUB IN HER GARDEN BUT SSTS CARERS NOT PAID ENOUGH !!!!!

There was beef between Nicole and Elaine before they were both big, even before Nicole had her page, I know a girl who knows Nicole. She said that something happened on an autism mum FB group between them years ago, that's what Elaine didn't participate in the first campaign Nicole did. I also have a feeling something happened between Elaine and Linzy as well, I read before it had something to do with when Linzy's husband was ill (collapsed, can't remember what actually happened) not one of her snapchat "friends" text her or gave her any support. I haven't followed Linzy since she put her snapchat on private but I really enjoyed watching her, thought she was a great laugh and Jamie an adorable boy.

On another note....the canine companion dogs...I don't understand why they use that breed.. aren't they normally bread from puppy farms? Also I cringe at the thought the poor dogs never get brushed properly, they must be seriously matted by the time they get to a groomer poor things

I don’t know linzy but she always came across as fair and decent . Paid for everything and never used her kids like Elaine and Lenore do. Plus Elaine sits on her couch all day watching trash television. Those kids need stimulation. All she seems interested in is getting them out of the house . She has a mouth like a sewer

 

[anydaynow]

ELAINE SPENDS HER TIME MOUTHING FOUL LANGUAGE AND COMPLAINING ON THE RACIO ABOUT EVERYTHING YET HAS BOTOX DURING LOCKDOWN AND BUILDS A PUB IN HER GARDEN BUT SSTS CARERS NOT PAID ENOUGH !!!!!



I don’t know linzy but she always came across as fair and decent . Paid for everything and never used her kids like Elaine and Lenore do. Plus Elaine sits on her couch all day watching trash television. Those kids need stimulation. All she seems interested in is getting them out of the house . She has a mouth like a sewer

She was happier today about her new coat than I have ever seen her about her own kids.

 

[Bombdee]

I have a child with asd and have followed all of these pages over the years(dip in and out) Nicole my boy blue has always bothered me and I can’t put my finger on why she has always given off this passive aggressive attitude but all that she wants is the adoration, likes etc from other people and how she does this is by always giving off this persona that she is fighting this fight for all of us which I don’t for one second believe!

 

[Dancinatthedisco]

I used to love Elaine upside down but had to unfollow her, am so disappointed. She seems to be using her situation as an excuse to break restrictions constantly (I can only assume that’s why she thinks she’s entitled to?) she’s constantly sharing pics of her parents and both sisters - nieces and nephews. I would absolutely love to see mine, I it’s so unfair. Showing off the new hairdo and justifying it by saying it was done by her sister (as if that’s ok!) was the last straw. She’s the very one who was so upset over the schools closing and would be if they did again but won’t do her bit.