Ashley Cain

[wri_xo]

I wasn't going to comment, but I need to. I lost my baby boy in 2009, I grieved so hard. I lost friends because I couldn't cope without speaking about him, I always saw signs from him, I looked for anything that would give me comfort. I wrote cards to family members and signed his name. Please just leave them be... Unless you have felt this pain you have no right to comment. Having been there I have never once looked and thought it's inappropriate how they are conducting themselves, the funeral and party looked beautiful to me... I wish I could have celebrated my boys life instead of feeling like I was ready to leave and be with him.

I completely agree with this. Some things they’re doing may not be to everyone’s taste, but I think unless you’ve been in that position NO ONE has any right to say anything about they way they’re acting. Social media is probably a coping mechanism, just leave them be to grieve how they see fit. Aside from everything they’re child has died, they watched their baby die - leave them alone.

sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine the heartbreak.

 

[Huds1234]

Most fundraisers of this nature would caveat that if the funds can't be spent on treatment it goes to xyz... you need to open to this possibility when you donate surely. I donated, but I'm sure like most wasn't surprised that the treatment couldn't go ahead, it was obvious that there was a strong possibilty that she might not be able to go. It is only fraud if the original intention was never actually for it to be spent on her treatment and I don't believe that was the case - I genuinely believe it was set up in good faith to help save her life.

thanks!
I think as someone who doesn’t struggle with money but does sometimes need to budget and watch where my money is going, I would be a bit gutted to know I’ve probably just contributed to a massive party ect because that’s not something I’d donate money for.

but I agree with your reply, I do genuinely think it was set up to help the poor babe

 

[Justlooking2020]

Feel so awful for them, the grief must be unbearable. I had tears in my eyes watching the video of them on Ashley’s insta. Poor family and poor baby!

 

[Noonoosanne2]

There

I completely agree with this. Some things they’re doing may not be to everyone’s taste, but I think unless you’ve been in that position NO ONE has any right to say anything about they way they’re acting. Social media is probably a coping mechanism, just leave them be to grieve how they see fit. Aside from everything they’re child has died, they watched their baby die - leave them alone.

sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine the heartbreak.

Theres somethings I agree and some I don’t, I will always stick to my opinion with the party at the grave yes they are grieving but so are other families, a bit of consideration wouldn’t go a miss, just because A’s plot stands out doesn’t mean that people are going to be ok with it. Unfortunately they’ve chosen to document every single aspect on social media and people are going to have an opinion about things. Would people be ok with it if it wasn’t Ashley Cain I actually think not

 

[Lola123]

Just out of interest, the green fake grass where they’ve got all the decorations etc, is that a temporary measure until it’s closed over? Or is that perm fixture

 

[Noonoosanne2]

Just out of interest, the green fake grass where they’ve got all the decorations etc, is that a temporary measure until it’s closed over? Or is that perm fixture

There’s a lot on the grave that’s actually not allowed, solar lights, plastic flowers, photographs , glass
Artificial grass is there for up to 12 months until the grounds settled for the grass

 

[1ranksenior]

There

Theres somethings I agree and some I don’t, I will always stick to my opinion with the party at the grave yes they are grieving but so are other families, a bit of consideration wouldn’t go a miss, just because A’s plot stands out doesn’t mean that people are going to be ok with it. Unfortunately they’ve chosen to document every single aspect on social media and people are going to have an opinion about things. Would people be ok with it if it wasn’t Ashley Cain I actually think not

i would 100% be ok with it if it wasn’t Ashley Cain, his celebrity status is utterly irrelevant. When I was grieving hard I had family say things like I don’t think what your doing is right and believe me it hurts because you don’t know what you are doing. You are just getting through the day, trying to keep going. In time I did see some of things I did like keeping every item of my sons clothing, toys etc in his room, sleeping there and spending days lying on his tiny cot bed was not healthy. But it got me through the day at times and that was all I could do. At the time it just felt like I was even grieving wrong. It didn’t help to be told that at the time. Let them be.

 

[rowdyroddy]

People who donated to the fundraiser, is there no way to get your money back? Considering it hasn’t been spent on what it was set up for… in my eyes isn’t it abit like fraud?

because yes it would have been spent on treatment like they said but it wasn’t suitable in the end so surely to spend it on anything else is deceiving.

Are you joking? You think people should get their money back because she ended up dieing??? duck sake

 

[Noonoosanne2]

Are you joking? You think people should get their money back because she ended up dieing??? duck sake

It was always made clear that of it A couldn’t get to Singapore then the funds would be to help other children, so to be honest people shouldn’t even think about wanting a refund

 

[Lola123]

Are you joking? You think people should get their money back because she ended up dieing??? duck sake

You’re misinterpreting what they’re suggesting! That’s not what they’re suggesting at all

 

[sheleg]

This is a controversial opinion, but I don't believe that grief - however severe - gives anyone a carte blanche to act how they please. We are still members of a society, and no single person deserves the right to damage public space, or make money fraudulently from others.

When my partner died, people almost encouraged me to go out and get wasted and cause trouble, because apparently I "deserved" to do this, since my whole life had been taken away from me.

No. Sorry. I didn't "deserve" to do that at all. I was still a human being living alongside others. My grief didn't entitle me to anything.

 

[Noonoosanne2]

i would 100% be ok with it if it wasn’t Ashley Cain, his celebrity status is utterly irrelevant. When I was grieving hard I had family say things like I don’t think what your doing is right and believe me it hurts because you don’t know what you are doing. You are just getting through the day, trying to keep going. In time I did see some of things I did like keeping every item of my sons clothing, toys etc in his room, sleeping there and spending days lying on his tiny cot bed was not healthy. But it got me through the day at times and that was all I could do. At the time it just felt like I was even grieving wrong. It didn’t help to be told that at the time. Let them be.

I’ve watched my parents grieve my brother I’ve saw my Mum admitted into a psychiatric hospital as she had delayed grief and had a break down I won’t go into more and it’s my families privacy and all I can say is that I’m so glad there was no social media back when he passed away. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve and there’s no time limit on grief, I’m so sorry for your loss, sending virtual hugs to you.

To be honest I actually wouldn’t put it passed some people this is 2

You’re misinterpreting what they’re suggesting! That’s not what they’re suggesting at all

To be honest I actually wouldn’t put it passed some people this is 2021 it’s a crazy world

 

[Huds1234]

Are you joking? You think people should get their money back because she ended up dieing??? duck sake

Did I say say that?
I literally asked a question about wether when you raise money is it allowed to be spent on something else.
Jeezo if your that heat up maybe you need to take a step back, rowdy.

 

[Goldfish]

it’s quite annoying people keep coming saying this thread is disgusting, we’re not slagging off the poor baby who lost her life, hell we’re hardly slagging off her parents, but going through something traumatic doesn’t give you a free pass in life. I’ve lost many people in my life and I can say that if I was at their grave and saw a large group of people having an actual party where I was mourning a loss I would be livid, like I previously said, you don’t suddenly get a free pass to do whatever you like when your go through something traumatic

 

[Olivemaks]

The last pic Ashley posted and they’re on that orange sofa says a lot. I feel like he has a kind of resentment towards Saffiya. He’s not even got an arm around her. Never seen comforting her either. Like yesterday night. Backvfaced to her whilst on the bed. It’s just off to me the way they interact. I have a feeling he snaps at her too sometimes.. I understand everyone deals with losses differently but on this case where it’s so public at least hold your partner. He looks uninterested in her

 

[Hollybush]

The last pic Ashley posted and they’re on that orange sofa says a lot. I feel like he has a kind of resentment towards Saffiya. He’s not even got an arm around her. Never seen comforting her either. Like yesterday night. Backvfaced to her whilst on the bed. It’s just off to me the way they interact. I have a feeling he snaps at her too sometimes.. I understand everyone deals with losses differently but on this case where it’s so public at least hold your partner. He looks uninterested in her

Yeah I bet she has to walk on eggshells around him!! I do watch her stories and feel for her and glad she has her brother for support.

 

[MunHun]

Ash does seem to be quite a cold partner, I didn’t follow them until Azaylia was ill but I had seen him on both series’s of ex on the beach he featured in. On the first one he was aggressive, confrontational, egotistical and cheated on camera. On the second one he was brought in to cause trouble and was single.

The next time I remember him after that was for his relationship with Chloe Khan, according to her threads he left her because she got vaginal surgery. When I started following Azaylia’s journey I had a nose through his Instagram and noticed he posted very little of his relationship with Saff and there weren’t very many posts of the baby although she was only a few weeks old before her diagnosis.

I grew to like him watching his relationship with his baby and how good he was with her. I truly believe that he would have gone to the ends of the earth to save her however i think how he speaks of her is very telling. She was the love of his life, she made him the man he always wanted to be, she made him loving and affectionate, she saved his life.

I have never heard him speak of Saf in such glowing terms or award her these titles. So I’m not sure what to make of his feelings towards her. I think she needs and deserves to be told how amazing she is, how deserving of love and affection and all of that beautiful love that he poured into Azaylia should now be poured into her. She seems so affectionate and is quite vocal about the high regard she holds him in.

Regarding the orange skies, faces in clouds and other signs. I would never judge them for seeking comfort that their baby is still here in spirit. Nobody ever wants to let go of a child. I hope they always find comfort in the signs as they will find comfort in little else.

 

[Millieminion]

So sorry for your. Loss. I think u are Incredible for still breathing through this. It's the most horrendous thing that can happen is to lose a child. Maybe I'm an idiot but I support them. I think the charity will be great

I do support them and hope to God that the charity is a huge success,I'm not in any way judging their grieving process,I worked for years for a charity and know the huge setting up costs and salary costs before a penny goes anywhere near where it's supposed to,huge transparency is needed which is what they're lacking at the minutepeople need/want to know that their money is going to the right place and not into the pockets of the wrong people,only time will tell but let's hope it's hugely successful.

 

[Coconutclub]

thanks!
I think as someone who doesn’t struggle with money but does sometimes need to budget and watch where my money is going, I would be a bit gutted to know I’ve probably just contributed to a massive party ect because that’s not something I’d donate money for.

but I agree with your reply, I do genuinely think it was set up to help the poor babe

Yeah I understand what you mean . It was a large amount of money there will be questions. I think you have to donate to fundraisers of this nature (life saving treatment that may not sadly happen) with the understanding that this may not be where the money goes. I donated on that basis. Sadly I can think of a few examples in the past that I have donated where the person / child has not lived long enough for the fundraised treatment to take place, if you donate to a personal fundraiser or a go fund me style donation you run this risk. Hopefully now the foundation has been set up this will all be more transparent.

 

[Millieminion]

It was always made clear that of it A couldn’t get to Singapore then the funds would be to help other children, so to be honest people shouldn’t even think about wanting a refund

I don't think anyone wants a refund,I certainly don't but I'd rather see it go directly to another family in their position who needed the funds asap rather than it going into a charity that I know from experience takes hundreds of thousands to set up and run before a penny goes to where it's supposed to,the legal costs alone of a stand alone charity are phenomenal..I think everyone who donated wants to help every sick child as much as possible.