ASD Toddlers

[peachhes]

Hi, I just wanted to say that it does not sound very good that your nursery have made your son drop to one hour a day. How is that supposed to help him when he starts school next year?

They should be trying to accommodate him instead of making their lives easier and what they are doing, frankly sounds discriminatory. I’d be looking for another nursery who treats their paying customers better, personally.

I’m glad to hear that your request for assessment has been accepted though - that’s great news.

Also, please don’t blame yourself. I used to feel this way about one of my children who really didn’t pick anything up, no matter how hard I tried. I used to blame myself and think that maybe I didn’t read her books well enough(!)

I know - believe me I had them about it! Big time! I was furious. They said he doesn’t cope well with the setting and he needs ‘adult support’ (which when I queried what that meant, they said he likes to hold their hand). In the end they also admitted they were oversubscribed and had taken on too many children, so my child had to drop hours!

Thank you so much - it’s really hard not to beat yourself up over it but I’m gradually learning there’s nothing I could’ve really done to ‘prevent’ anything

 

[Livelife01]

Hey!
Not all that much has changed really, still no proper words, still not much understanding etc, and it’s frustrating to me as I feel like it’s somehow my fault! I feel defeated as we do try to bring him on with his instructions/words etc but it doesn’t seem to work. I think he struggles with fine motor as well as he won’t hold a pen/thread laces/zippers etc.

He’s dropped hours at nursery to literally an hour a day as he is tending to seek out an adult for a bit of comfort which they can’t deal with (apparently)
We started the process for ASD /SALT quite early on after joining nursery so things are in progress now for school next year.
My son still doesn’t really follow instructions, but he’ll bring you what he wants and he understands when it’s shoes on/coat on and things like that.
Definitely chat with your HV and voice your concerns as if there are any ‘issues’ (hate that word!) it will really help to get any support at a younger age. Our nursery worked with the HV to put in the referrals to SALT which took 3 months for a telephone appt, and this week we got a letter saying our ASD test referral had been accepted and we’d been placed on the waiting list we were told to make sure everything referral wise (if req) is in before they’re 3/4 else they won’t get the help they need at school.

Also deffo ask for the hearing test like you’ve said as we had this and they said his hearing is absolutely fine, so it’s something to rule out and you can focus on the next steps.

I hope that helps a little bit x

Hi,
Thank you so much. That helps a lot. That is really poor of your sons nursery, my son goes 1.5 days a week and I’m going to ring them this week and ask to increase it to 2 days. They haven’t said much more than he’s distracted, but I know what they mean. I was just annoyed that his old nursery didn’t flag anything up.
I also feel guilty thinking it’s my fault if anything does come of it. My son does not listen or respond to me at all if I talk, but as soon as I sing a song he is all smiles and laughing. It just baffles me. Glad you got the referral and I hope it doesn’t take too long so it’s sorted before he starts school. Xx

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Not really sure what I’m posting for just feel like it would be nice to get my sons story out. He is 4 in April. So he had his 1st and 2nd birthday In lockdown. He used to go to my mums before lockdown happened she looked after him. After that he forgot who she was which was awful. He’s fine with her but he won’t let my dad near him still he runs off from him
He has speech delay and nursery have said additional needs. But haven’t said what!! He’s behind on everything. They have him down as development wise 22 months for all aspects. He speaks words at home but is really shy. And a lot of it doesn’t make sense. He points to what he wants and pulls my hand if he wants something in another room.
It’s crossed my mind he is autistic My brother has an autistic son & he said he thinks mine possibly could be too. I asked nursery if they think so and all she said was she can’t diagnose. We’ve applied for EHCP but it’s a long process. He’s going to primary school next September and I am dreading it. Him not settling in!! And Finding it hard to adjust. Have I picked the right school!! Will he manage. Will he fit in. He doesn’t like adults , he sometimes doesn’t even want daddy near him. Especially in the morning when he first wakes up he pushes him away and gets upset if im not there. He doesn’t like me leaving him and my mums or mother in laws. He won’t sleep on his own and also is just soooo clingy and loving. We’ve got health visitor coming after Christmas. Was meant to be today but we’re not well Everyday is a worry.

 

[watermelon sugar]

Not really sure what I’m posting for just feel like it would be nice to get my sons story out. He is 4 in April. So he had his 1st and 2nd birthday In lockdown. He used to go to my mums before lockdown happened she looked after him. After that he forgot who she was which was awful. He’s fine with her but he won’t let my dad near him still he runs off from him
He has speech delay and nursery have said additional needs. But haven’t said what!! He’s behind on everything. They have him down as development wise 22 months for all aspects. He speaks words at home but is really shy. And a lot of it doesn’t make sense. He points to what he wants and pulls my hand if he wants something in another room.
It’s crossed my mind he is autistic My brother has an autistic son & he said he thinks mine possibly could be too. I asked nursery if they think so and all she said was she can’t diagnose. We’ve applied for EHCP but it’s a long process. He’s going to primary school next September and I am dreading it. Him not settling in!! And Finding it hard to adjust. Have I picked the right school!! Will he manage. Will he fit in. He doesn’t like adults , he sometimes doesn’t even want daddy near him. Especially in the morning when he first wakes up he pushes him away and gets upset if im not there. He doesn’t like me leaving him and my mums or mother in laws. He won’t sleep on his own and also is just soooo clingy and loving. We’ve got health visitor coming after Christmas. Was meant to be today but we’re not well Everyday is a worry.

Bless him! i don’t have much advice because my son isn’t as old as yours, but there’s worries with mine. His nursery teachers have pulled me and said he’s too ‘sensitive’ and not like the other kids. I asked her why not and all she said was ‘their boistirious and he’s not’ but then she was very funny afterwards and said ‘i’m not saying anything though not like that not like that not like that’ which made me worry more? I don’t know. i feel like with kids you can’t help but worry, and there’s the constant feeling of no one is listening. My son is very clingy and very loving and like the teacher said very sensitive. he cries when we go into nursery and there’s already other kids there but if he’s first he doesn’t mind, little things like that. i think with your little one with him starting primary they would probably help and reach out to you more if they had any concerns, i have friends whose kids are autistic/have adhd at primary age and the teachers there went about it better than their nursery teachers. i know the feeling of being worried, you’re only human and you’re doing your best you’re a fab mum x

sorry i’ve not much advice i didn’t want to read and run and wanted you to know you’re not alone!

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Bless him! i don’t have much advice because my son isn’t as old as yours, but there’s worries with mine. His nursery teachers have pulled me and said he’s too ‘sensitive’ and not like the other kids. I asked her why not and all she said was ‘their boistirious and he’s not’ but then she was very funny afterwards and said ‘i’m not saying anything though not like that not like that not like that’ which made me worry more? I don’t know. i feel like with kids you can’t help but worry, and there’s the constant feeling of no one is listening. My son is very clingy and very loving and like the teacher said very sensitive. he cries when we go into nursery and there’s already other kids there but if he’s first he doesn’t mind, little things like that. i think with your little one with him starting primary they would probably help and reach out to you more if they had any concerns, i have friends whose kids are autistic/have adhd at primary age and the teachers there went about it better than their nursery teachers. i know the feeling of being worried, you’re only human and you’re doing your best you’re a fab mum x

sorry i’ve not much advice i didn’t want to read and run and wanted you to know you’re not alone!

No I know what you mean about school but it still worries me. It’s the transition I’m worried about. The new surroundings etc. mine is also sensitive and cries sometimes going to pre school even tho he’s been there since 2. He just likes being with me. I’m also sensitive tho and used to cry for my mum .
What is your nursery teacher trying to say there. Sometimes I find them a bit irritating in the way they go about things. Mine told me over email about him saying additional needs !!!

 

[watermelon sugar]

No I know what you mean about school but it still worries me. It’s the transition I’m worried about. The new surroundings etc. mine is also sensitive and cries sometimes going to pre school even tho he’s been there since 2. He just likes being with me. I’m also sensitive tho and used to cry for my mum .
What is your nursery teacher trying to say there. Sometimes I find them a bit irritating in the way they go about things. Mine told me over email about him saying additional needs !!!

Yeah i can imagine the transition is worrying. my little one goes to a private nursery atm and when he’s 3 my boyfriend wants him to move to the school nursery across the road and the transition just for that is making me nervous cos my son is so comfortable around the private nursery staff!

have you tried speaking to your nursery about what you can do to help with the transition? They should be offering advice and help really. sometimes i feel like they should do more. and surely that email would have been more helpful as a face to face convo??? Honestly they are no help sometimes i feel and don’t give much reassurance to parents

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Yeah i can imagine the transition is worrying. my little one goes to a private nursery atm and when he’s 3 my boyfriend wants him to move to the school nursery across the road and the transition just for that is making me nervous cos my son is so comfortable around the private nursery staff!

have you tried speaking to your nursery about what you can do to help with the transition? They should be offering advice and help really. sometimes i feel like they should do more. and surely that email would have been more helpful as a face to face convo??? Honestly they are no help sometimes i feel and don’t give much reassurance to parents

Aw bless him. How come he wants to move him Is it more of a pre school??

the schools senco has been ok. She’s suggested we take him to the chosen school once a week from April! for him to settle in and get a taste of the surrounds and the people. He’s fine with any children he meets it’s adults. We take him to diddikicks football and when the adults come up to him he hides behind me.

 

[Livelife01]

Hi everyone. Hope you all had a lovely Xmas and new year. I posted earlier in December about my son and how he may be autistic.
This came around after his new nursery told me he was very distracted and I soon realised that he never follows any instruction or responds to his name. Que me feeling like an awful mother for not realising and also having a newborn. I am in tears most days thinking about my elder sons future and what it will be like. (I’m sure newborn hormones do not add well to the mix)
The HV came to weigh little one and I expressed my concerns, so his 2 year check is on the 12th of this month. I am absolutely bricking it but I know what the outcome will be. I spoke to my sons nursery and they didn’t agree or disagree with my concerns about autistic traits but said they will catch up with me soon about a salt referral.
Not sure what I am asking here but I just need to know if it gets easier? The fact he doesn’t respond to his name absolutely kills me and I wonder if he’ll ever communicate. He does say the odd word but not always in context.
From next week he is going to nursery two full days a week; so I am hoping this may improve things a little more. Sorry for long post xx

 

[lookwhatthecatdraggedin1]

Hi everyone. Hope you all had a lovely Xmas and new year. I posted earlier in December about my son and how he may be autistic.
This came around after his new nursery told me he was very distracted and I soon realised that he never follows any instruction or responds to his name. Que me feeling like an awful mother for not realising and also having a newborn. I am in tears most days thinking about my elder sons future and what it will be like. (I’m sure newborn hormones do not add well to the mix)
The HV came to weigh little one and I expressed my concerns, so his 2 year check is on the 12th of this month. I am absolutely bricking it but I know what the outcome will be. I spoke to my sons nursery and they didn’t agree or disagree with my concerns about autistic traits but said they will catch up with me soon about a salt referral.
Not sure what I am asking here but I just need to know if it gets easier? The fact he doesn’t respond to his name absolutely kills me and I wonder if he’ll ever communicate. He does say the odd word but not always in context.
From next week he is going to nursery two full days a week; so I am hoping this may improve things a little more. Sorry for long post xx

Your a amazing mum My little boy is 3, before he started nursery he didn’t respond to his name, he didn’t communicate atall and he had 0 understanding. He now, 98% of the time, responds to his name and he has found his own way to communicate as he doesn’t speak yet Nursery really does help them and hopefully you’ll see a big improvement over time. The health visitor will really help you too and will get the ball rolling if she has the concerns

 

[Livelife01]

Your a amazing mum My little boy is 3, before he started nursery he didn’t respond to his name, he didn’t communicate atall and he had 0 understanding. He now, 98% of the time, responds to his name and he has found his own way to communicate as he doesn’t speak yet Nursery really does help them and hopefully you’ll see a big improvement over time. The health visitor will really help you too and will get the ball rolling if she has the concerns

thank you So glad your son has found his feet at nursery. This is a new nursery for my boy and he started in October; but he’s actually been in a nursery since 10 months old, albeit only a few sessions a week.
I’m hoping the few extra hours from next week will help Xx

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

So I’m just wondering when a child gets diagnosed with Autism? Is there a certain age ?
my bf has just told me that the nursery teacher was asking if our little boy gets upset in stationary traffic and he thinks she is meaning he’s autistic I’m not sure where he’s gotten that thought from her question. ;
but I have thought he could be as he doesn’t like new places / envrionments.
Doesn’t like things out of his routine ( for example they have stay and play sessions once a term at pre school and we haven’t had one for ages so we went today and he was very upset crying on the floor just wanting to go home - we did end up leaving ) .
Doesn’t like adults being near him / touching him / talking to him
Speech delay
Nursery have said when he gets upset he’ll lie on the floor with (toy) bricks on his chest
We’re on going with the EHCP. It’s all been sent off just awaiting their decision. I’m just wondering is there anyone I contact or do I just wait ? When I asked nursery if they thought he was she just said we can’t diagnose.
sorry for the long post. Thanks in advance.

 

[maytoseptember]

You’d need a referral to a paediatrician. Usually a GP or HV can get the ball rolling @strawberrysunshine_x

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

You’d need a referral to a paediatrician. Usually a GP or HV can get the ball rolling @strawberrysunshine_x

Do I do that myself?

 

[maytoseptember]

Do I do that myself?

Yes. Nursery obviously don’t want to commit to “diagnosing” (not that they can) but they don’t have the authority to make a medical referral either.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Yes. Nursery obviously don’t want to commit to “diagnosing” (not that they can) but they don’t have the authority to make a medical referral either.

Thanks. When I rang my docs up for a development check they said they don’t do them. But if I ask for an Autism referral they should do it ?

 

[Livelife01]

So I’m just wondering when a child gets diagnosed with Autism? Is there a certain age ?
my bf has just told me that the nursery teacher was asking if our little boy gets upset in stationary traffic and he thinks she is meaning he’s autistic I’m not sure where he’s gotten that thought from her question. ;
but I have thought he could be as he doesn’t like new places / envrionments.
Doesn’t like things out of his routine ( for example they have stay and play sessions once a term at pre school and we haven’t had one for ages so we went today and he was very upset crying on the floor just wanting to go home - we did end up leaving ) .
Doesn’t like adults being near him / touching him / talking to him
Speech delay
Nursery have said when he gets upset he’ll lie on the floor with (toy) bricks on his chest
We’re on going with the EHCP. It’s all been sent off just awaiting their decision. I’m just wondering is there anyone I contact or do I just wait ? When I asked nursery if they thought he was she just said we can’t diagnose.
sorry for the long post. Thanks in advance.

Hi lovely. We are just going through this with my son. How old is yours? Mine is 2.5yrs. We flagged some issues at the 2 year health visitor check (last month) and they said as he attended nursery they should do a referral for speech and language if needed. (It’s policy apparently) She wanted us to wait a couple of months for the ASD referral just incase he caught up. So I spoke to nursery about my concerns and they did a referral to something called SSS (portage) and now we’re just waiting to hear.
The health visitor can do a referral if under 5 and also the GP if you’re concerned xx

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Hi lovely. We are just going through this with my son. How old is yours? Mine is 2.5yrs. We flagged some issues at the 2 year health visitor check (last month) and they said as he attended nursery they should do a referral for speech and language if needed. (It’s policy apparently) She wanted us to wait a couple of months for the ASD referral just incase he caught up. So I spoke to nursery about my concerns and they did a referral to something called SSS (portage) and now we’re just waiting to hear.
The health visitor can do a referral if under 5 and also the GP if you’re concerned xx

Hiii thanks for your reply. Mine is 3. 4 in April. I’ve had a nightmare with salt. Nursery tried to get him into portage but they sent me a letter saying the waitlist was that long by the time he’d be accepted he’d be 3. I mentioned to HV on the phone and she said it sounds like just shyness and I will see him mature more it gets to September him going to school!? Honestly what
weve had three sessions at speech therapy. I never got a report back and then they discharged us! I rang up to complain. They said it was out oftheir hands and we had to go back on the wait list

 

[Livelife01]

Hiii thanks for your reply. Mine is 3. 4 in April. I’ve had a nightmare with salt. Nursery tried to get him into portage but they sent me a letter saying the waitlist was that long by the time he’d be accepted he’d be 3. I mentioned to HV on the phone and she said it sounds like just shyness and I will see him mature more it gets to September him going to school!? Honestly what
weve had three sessions at speech therapy. I never got a report back and then they discharged us! I rang up to complain. They said it was out oftheir hands and we had to go back on the wait list

Oh my word. That is ridiculous!! How delayed is he with speech? Does he have any understanding? I didn’t actually notice anything could be an issue with my son, until the nursery mentioned he was distracted, I didn’t think much of it then one of my family members said she thought he may be autistic. I was totally oblivious as he was my first and I was heavily pregnant with my 2nd. So all this has just come about since November.
That’s really strange about portage, I got a letter yesterday to say we were eligible for help , and my boy is 3 in August. You should have definitely got some sort of support?
Is nursery helping you with the EHCP? We haven’t gone down that route yet, but probably will in time xx

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Oh my word. That is ridiculous!! How delayed is he with speech? Does he have any understanding? I didn’t actually notice anything could be an issue with my son, until the nursery mentioned he was distracted, I didn’t think much of it then one of my family members said she thought he may be autistic. I was totally oblivious as he was my first and I was heavily pregnant with my 2nd. So all this has just come about since November.
That’s really strange about portage, I got a letter yesterday to say we were eligible for help , and my boy is 3 in August. You should have definitely got some sort of support?
Is nursery helping you with the EHCP? We haven’t gone down that route yet, but probably will in time xx

Yeah I can’t fault nursery really. They’ve been really helpful with the EHCP. It was them who set it all up. I wouldn’t have had a clue other wise. I think cos for you august is a while off. Ours wasn’t that long off until he was 3. My brother mentioned ages ago he thought he was Autistic. But it’s hard as sometimes I think he could then other times I think not

his speech has come on actually since September. He doesn’t speak full sentences and has only recently starting putting two words together. But he’ll say a new word every week or every other week. His understanding is quite good as well for some things but not for others nursery just put it down as additional needs and then nothing more “cos they can’t diagnose “ I think the fact no one can give me an answer makes it hard . I just want him to get the help he needs

 

[Livelife01]

Ah yes, our nursery has been really helpful too. I would definately go to the GP and ask for a referral, or the HV. Glad he has improved, mine has too since the HV check, but he’s still far from what he should on the questionnaire so I will still push for a referral seeing as the waiting lists are so long x