Anxiety around christmas support thread - financial, family situations etc.

[Chuff offohc]

There isnt any magic left of Christmas anymore it's all just commercialised and over the top.
My fond memories are the battered old decorations that we hung on the dusty old tree and the mince pie sitting by the gas fire. Playing with toys and excited to show your friends up the street what you had got when you was allowed back out to play.
My kids don't own a single toy its just tech and each year seems to be a new theme of decorations to match the insta mums

 

[Purrrrrrr]

Maybe it's time to wind back the clock. Create your own family traditions. I remember every year making those paper chains. stop decorating to keep up with SM and get the kids to make the decrations. get the kids to each to make a food item for Christmas dinner

These are some of the things my daughter does.
Homemade gifts. Charity shop gifts, inventive gifts for under £5. Everyone has to choose an unusual book for a family member at the charity shop, homemade wrapping,

I volunteer at the homeless shelter and many people bring their children for a few hours. people drop in throughout the day I can't explain what it's like it's just lovely seeing the kids of all ages interacting with the homeless and the elderly and people who live on their own and just want company. So many pop into our local one for an hour or two.
Go to church on Christmas eve or Christmas morning, it's very child friendly. Try to play games rather than watch TV. be selective in what you do watch on TV. My children's dad always took them to the forest after dinner and they always moaned, but now they talk about it like it was the best thing ever

 

[Saddlesoap]

Maybe it's time to wind back the clock. Create your own family traditions. I remember every year making those paper chains. stop decorating to keep up with SM and get the kids to make the decrations. get the kids to each to make a food item for Christmas dinner

That's what my husband and I have decided to do this year. We are going to get up, have a lazy breakfast, then drive out to one of the lakes. Depending on the weather we'll take hot chocolate (with a dash of booze) or prosecco and have a little cup of that beside the lake with the dog.

We will hopefully do it every year at a different lake, but the weather will probably scupper that.

 

[Misssj80]

Last year my son and I on a few evenings walked the streets near our house to look at all the Christmas lights/decorations at other people's houses/gardens. He has asked if we can do it again this year! Like another poster suggested, we do movie nights, sometimes days if the weather is rubbish. We snuggle up on the sofa, have popcorn and a few sweets and a bottle of our favourite drink. Costs a few pounds but kids and grown ups seem to love it.
My favourite memory of Christmas as a child is I was about 8 and got up for a wee at about half five Christmas morning, my mum heard me and thought I was getting up so went down stairs turned all the fairy lights on and got ready to say Santa had been, even though by then I had seen my grandad deliver the presents so knew Santa wasn't real, and I went straight back to bed. She told me she was waiting for an hour then gave up
Play board games as a family, go for a walk but don't look on social media at what everyone else is doing, enjoy your Christmas whatever it is like xx

 

[Kim Mild]

Last year my son and I on a few evenings walked the streets near our house to look at all the Christmas lights/decorations at other people's houses/gardens. He has asked if we can do it again this year! Like another poster suggested, we do movie nights, sometimes days if the weather is rubbish. We snuggle up on the sofa, have popcorn and a few sweets and a bottle of our favourite drink. Costs a few pounds but kids and grown ups seem to love it.
My favourite memory of Christmas as a child is I was about 8 and got up for a wee at about half five Christmas morning, my mum heard me and thought I was getting up so went down stairs turned all the fairy lights on and got ready to say Santa had been, even though by then I had seen my grandad deliver the presents so knew Santa wasn't real, and I went straight back to bed. She told me she was waiting for an hour then gave up
Play board games as a family, go for a walk but don't look on social media at what everyone else is doing, enjoy your Christmas whatever it is like xx

Last year and we were in tier 3 so there were no Christmas events, a lot of people were doing little tours around all the houses with lots of lights . Some houses put so much effort into their lights and it was appreciated so much Last year

 

[Sailorontheseasea]

I am so appreciative of this thread and actually really needed to see it today. Money has been such a huge worry for us this year especially with a new baby on the way and being furloughed from last March-June this year and various job changes as I’m sure SO many people have gone through. It shouldn’t have to be said but sometimes you do just need to be reminded to sack off social media and go back to what you ACTUALLY enjoy doing at these times of the year rather than what it looks like to everyone else - I don’t even post on Instagram but for some reason I feel the need to buy my kids Christmas Eve boxes and fart arse around with fancy expensive decorations they won’t even appreciate…ever! Ridiculous really. I don’t want to remember this time in my kids young lives as an endless stress of buying the next thing when actually my 3.5 year old (+ nearly 2 year old to be fair) would be chuffed to bits with seeing some lights and having a hot chocolate and playing a game. Heartbreaking really that we’ve been passively coerced into all the bullshit. So anyway, thank you for the very real and stark reminder everyone, I needed it badly. I love tattle for a lot of things but I really love it for things like this…I’ll be following this thread for sure.

 

[emmer_moans]

As a kid the presents that were most appreciated by me were things that were useful, like Asda pyjamas, primark bobble hats, colouring books and stationery. I never expected my parents to buy me really expensive trainers or electricals. Now, at work I hear how much mums have spent on the latest trainers for their kids and it makes my eyes water.

I echo the posts above where the experience and thoughtful ness is remembered much more over volume of tat for tat's sake.

I do think kids need to learn the value of money, gifts used to be a nice gesture but now it seems to be an obligation

 

[Nora Fenn]

Is anyone else worried about Christmas this year? My money situation has changed so I can’t buy my children a lot and it’s making me really worry, I know it’s not about the gifts but I don’t want them to feel let down. I feel like a failure to be honest

There was one Christmas when I was a kid when my parents couldn’t afford lots of toys. We got a few board games, Operation, Connect 4 and Cluedo and we played as a family all day, went to my Grandparents for dinner, took Connect 4 with us and we were just so excited that the adults were playing with us It was my favourite Christmas, better than the ones where we got all the things on our list. It snowed that year too which made it even better Board games, movies, cosying up under a blanket to read Christmas books, these are the things children remember.

 

[HoGi]

Now, at work I hear how much mums have spent on the latest trainers for their kids and it makes my eyes water.

Some of my colleagues spend ridiculous amounts on their husbands too!

One girl was making her husband a stocking a few years ago and she had things like aftershave and a handheld games console (can't remember which one maybe a PSP or similar so several hundred quid) and the stocking contents alone would have been over £300! It's ridiculous

I make my husband a stocking as my mum still makes me and my sister one. But his has socks, pants, a pack of new pens for work and a chocolate orange in!

 

[Purrrrrrr]

What about getting the children involved in gifts that do not cost money but time? (Same for friends and family)

IOU gifts. IOU 5 bins taken out without moaning. IOU 4 hours of babysitting. IOU A one to one day, no distractions. IOU a day trip to the seaside. IOUs are only as limited as your imagination.

 

[dancingqueen5678]

Some of my colleagues spend ridiculous amounts on their husbands too!

One girl was making her husband a stocking a few years ago and she had things like aftershave and a handheld games console (can't remember which one maybe a PSP or similar so several hundred quid) and the stocking contents alone would have been over £300! It's ridiculous

I make my husband a stocking as my mum still makes me and my sister one. But his has socks, pants, a pack of new pens for work and a chocolate orange in!

christ! Are stockings not safe anymore either?! I have always been under the impression a stocking is suppose to be tat chocolate, socks, nail varnish, some body spray, a car air freshener. Are we now in a society were we have to spend a fortune on a stocking cause I'm out if that's the case

 

[HoGi]

christ! Are stockings not safe anymore either?! I have always been under the impression a stocking is suppose to be tat chocolate, socks, nail varnish, some body spray, a car air freshener. Are we now in a society were we have to spend a fortune on a stocking cause I'm out if that's the case

I know! I was horrified. She was going through what she had bought and I was really struggling to hide my disgust

 

[Nora Fenn]

Out of interest is the £100 high street voucher scheme only happening in Northern Ireland? Everyone over the age of 18, regardless of income has been given a voucher worth £100 in a bid to help businesses recover after covid. Pretty much every shop is accepting them.

Also if anyone is changing internet providers, BT are giving new customers a shopping card preloaded with £115. Accepted anywhere that takes Mastercard. Just thought I’d mention it in case it helps anyone out.

 

[Bananabadger]

Hope everyone who was on this thread before is doing okay.

 

[Captainmouse]

So I’m fortunate in the sense that I only have one child and my one child is the only child in the wider family so not a lot of children to buy for, however my fellas family expects gifts off us, and there’s a few of them. His mum, an auntie, two (adult) cousins and their partners - and they don’t want like little presents they usually have requirements of fancy brands and stuff and it fucks me off.
My partner isn’t working and this will be the second Christmas in a row that I pay for it all and I find myself thinking bleeping hell how am I gonna do it all alone AGAIN.

Don’t, they know he’s not working, you shouldn’t go without, his family his problem

 

[Peaches_xox]

Don’t, they know he’s not working, you shouldn’t go without, his family his problem

I haven’t bought them anything this year

 

[Captainmouse]

I haven’t bought them anything this year

Yay!

 

[Slothgang]

I'm a bit late to the party seeing as Xmas is just around the corner but for future reference I would definitely recommend buying 2nd hand. EBay vinted Facebook etc has soooo much stuff and kids won't know the difference at all. I've bought mine 4 princess dresses for £10 .. god knows how much they would have cost first hand at the disney shop!

 

[thaliamay]

Merry Christmas to everyone except my supposed loving bf, who thought it okay to hit me then boot me in the stomach. I wish Christmas was over already. Its full of happy expectations.... And I'm definitely not full of anything happy.

 

[monga]

Merry Christmas to everyone except my supposed loving bf, who thought it okay to hit me then boot me in the stomach. I wish Christmas was over already. Its full of happy expectations.... And I'm definitely not full of anything happy.

Give yourself and your kids ( if you have any) the best present and get out of there people that love you don’t treat you like that x

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