Yes, looking for a job takes time but you need to prioritise this for the sake of your mental health.
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The poor girl.
I can’t even engage with people this age about relationships. I find it so draining and boring. I know everyone goes through the ups and downs but I don’t want to listen to it from young people
Four people, trained up from NMW to full time, reasonably paid, secure roles that also make them far more marketable outside if they choose to leave. Could have rejected and stuck with people who already had experience but pushed strongly for them to have the opportunity. As it was an insane workload pre-lockdowns, massive amounts of tasks have been removed and they don't get treated like tit/told they're crap or any of the crappy things that used to happen.
I identified and was asked to plan, design and implement a new process in an existing system that should reduce a particular task down from 300+ hours a year each just in passing things along for somebody else to deal with for another 500+ hours to a 5-15s look and click, everything completed, no more than 2.5 hours' work for them in a year. It also recognises them as the people best placed to make the decision yes or no, with no negative consequences for either decision; if it's no and has to be referred on in 1/100 times, thank you, that's the right thing, you're trusted to make that call as you have the on the ground knowledge nobody else has. It's also using an existing system with inbuilt and carefully thought out security. They were aware that it was being looked into because the previous system had collapsed due toa bone idle manager differences of opinion about whether the work to plan and implement it was an effective use of time.
It could also have been the thousands of hours of work alternative that the previouslazy bastard person had tried to make them do and had started off a massive row in the background because dropping these people in the tit was simply not going to be allowed to happen. Yes, I stamped my feet and said it simply wasn't going to happen, which the big bosses agreed was absolutely the right position to take.
I paid careful attention to how they'd be informed it was happening so that they didn't feel ordered around and it was explained (albeit not in quite so much detail) that it is only being done because the research and tests had established it was likely to be far less work for them (and if something went wrong, it could easily be withdrawn, improved or abandoned).
I personally think that preventing a resignation-level event and then creating an alternative that takes less than 1% of their time AND acknowledges their worth/knowledge is something that should be met with an 'Oh, Okay, that sounds like it might be easier?'. Wouldn't have had a problem with 'Q. Is this going to take us more time? A. No' I wasn't expecting 'OMG, that's amazing, thank you so much for spending hours trying to reduce our workload and once the procedure happens, our day to day so much easier', although it would have been nice. I even did a soft rollout so they wouldn't get lumbered with the entire two hours' work at once, so they're looking at about 3-5 minutes a week. Less time than it takes to answer the phone and type a single email.
Let's just say the response was not as neutral as I had hoped. They interpreted 'you have control and it's quicker for you than you having to pass it to somebody else' as 'you're going to be doing more work'. And needed the precise mathematics explained to them before they stopped bristling with righteous indignation.
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@Redrose97 I've reported your post and asked if the bit that I think could potentially identify him and you is deleted (the BBC stuff).
You don't sound to be doing anything wrong - it sounds as though he's trying to bully you and your colleagues and manager are aware of this. If you can, email your manager each time there's a concern and mention if you feel he's picking on you because of your Autism. It might be helpful if you need to submit a grievance and is another record of your disability/protected characteristic.
I identified and was asked to plan, design and implement a new process in an existing system that should reduce a particular task down from 300+ hours a year each just in passing things along for somebody else to deal with for another 500+ hours to a 5-15s look and click, everything completed, no more than 2.5 hours' work for them in a year. It also recognises them as the people best placed to make the decision yes or no, with no negative consequences for either decision; if it's no and has to be referred on in 1/100 times, thank you, that's the right thing, you're trusted to make that call as you have the on the ground knowledge nobody else has. It's also using an existing system with inbuilt and carefully thought out security. They were aware that it was being looked into because the previous system had collapsed due to
It could also have been the thousands of hours of work alternative that the previous
I paid careful attention to how they'd be informed it was happening so that they didn't feel ordered around and it was explained (albeit not in quite so much detail) that it is only being done because the research and tests had established it was likely to be far less work for them (and if something went wrong, it could easily be withdrawn, improved or abandoned).
I personally think that preventing a resignation-level event and then creating an alternative that takes less than 1% of their time AND acknowledges their worth/knowledge is something that should be met with an 'Oh, Okay, that sounds like it might be easier?'. Wouldn't have had a problem with 'Q. Is this going to take us more time? A. No' I wasn't expecting 'OMG, that's amazing, thank you so much for spending hours trying to reduce our workload and once the procedure happens, our day to day so much easier', although it would have been nice. I even did a soft rollout so they wouldn't get lumbered with the entire two hours' work at once, so they're looking at about 3-5 minutes a week. Less time than it takes to answer the phone and type a single email.
Let's just say the response was not as neutral as I had hoped. They interpreted 'you have control and it's quicker for you than you having to pass it to somebody else' as 'you're going to be doing more work'. And needed the precise mathematics explained to them before they stopped bristling with righteous indignation.
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@Redrose97 I've reported your post and asked if the bit that I think could potentially identify him and you is deleted (the BBC stuff).
You don't sound to be doing anything wrong - it sounds as though he's trying to bully you and your colleagues and manager are aware of this. If you can, email your manager each time there's a concern and mention if you feel he's picking on you because of your Autism. It might be helpful if you need to submit a grievance and is another record of your disability/protected characteristic.
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Thanks for that and will get that sorted when I'm able to do so! I can't edit it at the moment, but hopefully can do it soon!
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Reuploaded to remove some information so hopefully it's okay!
I've got this new coworker and he is a bit of a troublemaker already. One of the ladies who I work with used to babysit him or something like that and apparently he is not changed since he was four.
He is mid-twenties, the same as me, and he is new to the department. He has been working for the company for a month or two, and with us for a few weeks. I don't know if part of it is him trying to make a good impression on the managers as he is convinced that he is going for a management training program or he is trying to get himself in favour of the department and trying to be a part of it. He is also very open online and to co-workers about his mental health and how he has struggled and tried to harm himself. I am very supportive of mental health and I don't want to be accused of not being so, especially when I have my own family with MH problems and I've had to have a caring role with my dad to an extent because of his.
He has this habit of making up lies about people as well and telling management about them such as 'so and so said this,' or 'I was told that...' He has been bitching about the people who he works with to other people in the department. He told my coworker C that I had apparently given him a headache as I said the same thing about one hundred times when she asked how he was. I have not really spoken to him and I don't know if it was me speaking to the customers as it is a shop we work in and I do follow the same 'script' when I speak to them. C had told him off it and cut him down before he started bitching about me and mentioned that I'm autistic in an attempt to stop him before he makes any more comments about me. At work, my colleagues in the department know about it and it has helped me feel supported in the shop among them as we are a close-knit team.
I don't know why he has a problem with me as I've not really spoken to him as we are a busy shop and there are a lot of customers. When I have, I've been polite to him and I've been helping him out on the till when the shop is busy when I've been doing other jobs. I don't know if I come off as a bit strange because of my autism or if he decided that he doesn't like me as I had to tell him not to block a fire door before. I'm a bit worried about working a shift with him in the next few weeks as I'm worried he might say something that is made up to a manager about me and he is going to get me into trouble even if I have done nothing wrong to him. I do have the feeling that he is going to use the mental health card as a weapon as well in the future, I just get that feeling about him. A few other coworkers have said the same thing about him.
Any advice for dealing with him as I'm a bit worried about the shift that I have with him in the upcoming weeks? I don't know if he is doing this to be on the side of the managers or if he thinks that by moaning about colleagues to others, he is trying to bond with them, but it makes work feel very hostile and I feel like I have to be on the best behaviour with him all the time when I am with him and I feel like I'll be walking on egg shells around him.
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What’s your notice period? My own is strongly anticompetitive and with a number of issues bubbling in my firm I’m close to resigning myself. I know the fear of not having a job, financial commitments etc but if my place continues the way it is my sanity is worth the risk of ending up out of work for a short while. There’s also a certain advantage in being immediately available when competing for a role against someone else with similar skills.
ive worked with a couple of people like that- one was what we called a glory hunter (always cherry picked work that got praise or was for certain senior people) . they never took notes when learning a task and constantly made mistakes if they thought a task was boring or they would half do jobs and dump the bit they hated doing on our new junior staff. me and a colleague told them isl f he continues doing this you are to say no you took the task you finish it! and there would be no repercussions on you for declining (they were in their 1st jobs so were very compliant with everything they were asked)
All they could think about was getting into the customer facing area!
Everytime I'm off I get at least 1 text/email. This morning I've got a text to ask if the password for the system has changed. I spoke to this person on Thursday and said I'll be off until next Thursday. I don't expect people to remember everything but if I clearly wasn't in on Friday, I'm definitely not going to know the answer at 9am on Monday, whether I'm in today or not.
He sounds like trouble - even if you keep to yourself (remain pleasant to him but don't chat with him about anything), he'll likely make something up about you anyway! If it was me, I'd confide in a manager what is happening - just to alert them to it - but don't go so far as filing a formal complaint (yet). People like this do eventually trip themselves up - sometimes it will take years, but in my experience it does eventually happen.
Meanwhile, just smile and nod when he talks to you and don't engage.
Just had 8x teams calls throughout the morning from a colleague asking the most basic questions about how to do the job she has been in for a decade.
I’ve put in so many cause for concerns and competency queries over the years but this is ridiculous now. Sadly the management admit they’re utterly useless but anything involving management of this issue is just ignored until it gets to catastrophic levels
I’ve put in so many cause for concerns and competency queries over the years but this is ridiculous now. Sadly the management admit they’re utterly useless but anything involving management of this issue is just ignored until it gets to catastrophic levels
People who just deny everything instead of admitting to mistakes 
Michelle, I can see on our system log that you changed the price of an item but you swear blind you didn't do it...
Also she's a 40 year old woman who has worked here for years, not some young starter who is nervous.
Michelle, I can see on our system log that you changed the price of an item but you swear blind you didn't do it...Also she's a 40 year old woman who has worked here for years, not some young starter who is nervous.
I have a four week notice period. It’s pretty standard over here.
I’m getting two weeks break from her starting next week because she’ll be off. I honestly won’t hesitate to go on sick leave if I feel my anxiety is no longer manageable. It was the first time in more than a year that I felt good and then she tainted that in the blink of an eye. I’ve been down ever since.
I’m planning my exit strategy, so we’ll see where I land but I need to be extra careful this time because I went from a terrible insecure manager to another of the same kind.
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Sounds like my place. There's those of us who graft, self motivated etc, and there's those that coast, do the bare minimum, yet still make embarrassing mistakes and take no pride in trying to improve. Despite complaints to the managers, the coasters are allowed to coast because it's less hassle for them to hear us complain than it is for them to take these coasters to task. One of them is abysmal, but a year in, she's still here pissing the rest of us off, and NOTHING will be done about it. Currently I am keeping my head down because i do actually like my job. It's the people that can ruin it.
People (one specific manager at head office) who can't just WhatsApp message me simple questions. Has to ring me instead. Just bloody message me. Because you always manage to perfectly time the phone call at break or dinner. And it's pissing irritating.
The place I'm contracting for at the moment has decided to bring in a coach, of sorts, to try and change the culture. I don't think it will make a lot of difference sadly ... some people have been there for a long time and manage to get away with doing the bare minimum while others spend all their waking hours at work. There are also some very toxic individuals who try to run everyone and everything down ... I don't think you can change the way some people are wired.
I also think if people have been operating like that (I hesitate to say "work") then it's an almighty challenge expect them to suddenly reinvent themselves as motivated, engaged staff who always want to do their best. Nowadays it's not unusual to have the double whammy of older staff who've done sweet FA for decades plus the youngsters who genuinely believe they're doing you a favour just by turning up for work.
If my braggy colleague brags one more time I may scream. *Shoves earphones firmly in ears and keeps head down*
It's constant bragging, we get a blow by blow account of her wedding plans, her house buying ("So WE CAN START A FAMILY, we need FOUR BEDROOMS!!"
) and from the sound of it soon we will get updates of ovulation cycle, hormones, conception attempts etc. Every part of her life is a brag, so much TMI and yes she does it to gloat because she laps up the attention when people ask her questions. Every day there is an update to anyone who will listen.
I want to try to conceive too soon, but don't want to say anything about it myself and now it feels like I'll be forced to be aware of her progress whilst silently potentially struggling with mine. I hate it when people tell you so much about themselves that you can't help but then feel bad about your own circumstances. I already feel 'behind' as I'm older than her by a couple of years and now she's constantly banging on about house move and trying for a baby.
I'm all for people saying they had a nice holiday or went for a nice meal or something, but I don't think we should be subjected to people's personal aspirations like this on a constant basis. I know more about her than myself. I've already switched my WFH days to avoid being in with her on all the same days but she keeps chopping and changing her days
I know comparison is the thief of joy etc but it's sooooo hard when someone is constantly harping on about their life. You can't unhear it and it gets me feeling a bit down.
I wish we didn't need money in life, because let's face it it's the only real reason we have to share an office with others
Saying something will just cause issues I think, so I think I just need to ignore harder! She's one of those colleagues that pats herself on the back over everything, and everything just seems to fall in place for her so easily. She is the epitome of Hermione Granger in Films 1 and 2 where she MUST offer her answer first/better than everyone else too.
Any one else experience similar at work? How did you deal with it?
It's constant bragging, we get a blow by blow account of her wedding plans, her house buying ("So WE CAN START A FAMILY, we need FOUR BEDROOMS!!"
) and from the sound of it soon we will get updates of ovulation cycle, hormones, conception attempts etc. Every part of her life is a brag, so much TMI and yes she does it to gloat because she laps up the attention when people ask her questions. Every day there is an update to anyone who will listen.I want to try to conceive too soon, but don't want to say anything about it myself and now it feels like I'll be forced to be aware of her progress whilst silently potentially struggling with mine. I hate it when people tell you so much about themselves that you can't help but then feel bad about your own circumstances. I already feel 'behind' as I'm older than her by a couple of years and now she's constantly banging on about house move and trying for a baby.
I'm all for people saying they had a nice holiday or went for a nice meal or something, but I don't think we should be subjected to people's personal aspirations like this on a constant basis. I know more about her than myself. I've already switched my WFH days to avoid being in with her on all the same days but she keeps chopping and changing her days
I know comparison is the thief of joy etc but it's sooooo hard when someone is constantly harping on about their life. You can't unhear it and it gets me feeling a bit down.
I wish we didn't need money in life, because let's face it it's the only real reason we have to share an office with others
Saying something will just cause issues I think, so I think I just need to ignore harder! She's one of those colleagues that pats herself on the back over everything, and everything just seems to fall in place for her so easily. She is the epitome of Hermione Granger in Films 1 and 2 where she MUST offer her answer first/better than everyone else too.
Any one else experience similar at work? How did you deal with it?
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She sounds very insecure if all she is banging on about is the wedding, house and baby!
In terms of the baby question for gods sake don’t tell her you’re about to try as it’ll end up with not only unwarranted advice but also a contest. Also if she does conceive before you you’ll get the smug it’ll happen for you soon whilst rubbing the bump (sadly been there and it’s hard not to punch them square in the face for being so inconsiderate). I wish you well
In terms of the baby question for gods sake don’t tell her you’re about to try as it’ll end up with not only unwarranted advice but also a contest. Also if she does conceive before you you’ll get the smug it’ll happen for you soon whilst rubbing the bump (sadly been there and it’s hard not to punch them square in the face for being so inconsiderate). I wish you well
I know so much about her life to know she has a sister very close in age and it sounds like they are locked in a permanent state competition, we get updates about her sister too (as if we care!). My colleague's personality is very competitive by default. She would trip you over to get to to the boss first with anything helpful. Very teacher's pet like. It's sad really to be that way, but she's had a lot of good luck recently, everything has fallen into place for her without much struggle whereas others in the team have had more than 3 things bad in quick succession. She's even been bragging about stuff at a time when others in the team are having literally the worst luck in the world (severe sickness, plus family bereavement plus issues going on at home, etc). I just wish she'd tone it down a bit because she rubs a lot of people up the wrong way, and you always feel like she's competing with you. I'm trying to ignore her the best I can.She sounds very insecure if all she is banging on about is the wedding, house and baby!
In terms of the baby question for gods sake don’t tell her you’re about to try as it’ll end up with not only unwarranted advice but also a contest. Also if she does conceive before you you’ll get the smug it’ll happen for you soon whilst rubbing the bump (sadly been there and it’s hard not to punch them square in the face for being so inconsiderate). I wish you well
Thing is, I wish I had entrepreneurial spirit to go be my own boss so I don't have to deal with office stuff but I'm not gifted that way or motivated that way so I'm stuck working for others unless I win the lottery. I may look for WFH jobs in future though. I guess it's been a crappy work month and I'm at my limit with tolerating other's drama or smugness right now.
I think with those who brag constantly, it actually comes from a place of deep insecurity. If someone is secure in themselves they have no need to keep telling everyone how wonderful they are and how marvellous their life is. Also the fact that she is so insensitive to others, well ugh, I would prefer any day to have a bit of sensitivity than her boastful ways. Who knows, maybe it's all a front - the four bedroomed house talk etc.
All I can suggest is nod vaguely and smile, remember that her opinions and bragging count for nothing to you, and treat them accordingly - like an annoying fly that keeps buzzing somewhere near you but can't harm you
. Thinking of her like that might help. When I have had colleagues that I couldn't stand for various reasons, I always reminded myself that they and their opinions counted for nothing to me.
Definitely do not say a word about your own plans. She would start trying to turn it into a competition.
And lastly best of luck, I hope that things go well for you.
All I can suggest is nod vaguely and smile, remember that her opinions and bragging count for nothing to you, and treat them accordingly - like an annoying fly that keeps buzzing somewhere near you but can't harm you
. Thinking of her like that might help. When I have had colleagues that I couldn't stand for various reasons, I always reminded myself that they and their opinions counted for nothing to me.Definitely do not say a word about your own plans. She would start trying to turn it into a competition.
And lastly best of luck, I hope that things go well for you.
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