Anna Bey #38 The elegant faker going broke no husband, no cash, only beat up Chanela and no fresh ideas

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Winning thread title by @vanilla_sky

Recap: No class, no money, no Joe, no Teddy the dog any more (where'd he go?), no new ideas, just endless recycled videos. Still escorting. Still rocking the granny hooker chic. Still living in Corsier by herself with a fridge full of microwave meals. She is hinting at yet another re-brand and change of content, saying that "The Fabulous Future Formula" is the last free webinar she will ever offer about levelling up. Bets on what's next? She's already done ahffluence, eleghunce, style and fashion, rural living, networking/girlbossing ...

Just about the only thing new is that she's planning to head Stateside for an A-List event later this year. Biggest laughs of the thread were when she tried to make the phrase "spicy elegance" take off (there is nothing spicy about our Banana) and when she brought her fave Chanella on a hike through the forest.

Two excellent, detailed posts by @ElegantWOC: Why Anna isn't a millionairess and Why her luxury goods are fake

And as always the wiki

 

[annabeyhoax]

Hello tattle, it is I, guru lifestyle coach super elite connoisseur, Anna Banana. Me being tired with luxury life has nothing to do with the fact that I don't have cash. No, no, this is false. I am only detoxing from my very opulent habits in order to appreciate them more.

It's summer, time to go to the hot spots where all the celebrities and rich people go. But I'll probably pass, I'm too good for high-season, I prefer low to no season (again, nothing to do with cash).

Sign,

Anna Banana

 

[vanilla_sky]

@annabeyhoax what a brilliant collage! Made me laugh out loud!
I watched her travel tips video just to take in the wisdom of Anna and I was just amazed at some of the things.
Dear mangoes, I know there are some distinguished people here, do you pack hats like Banana does? Do people travel with massive hat boxes these days? I've not seen anyone pack a hat like that, but maybe I am not klaasy enough....
Anna, your husband mentions are still not fooling us. So she said sometimes she has three suitcases... for what? I didn't know one needed so many granny beige outfits to travel. I guess one can add three checked bags for an Easyjet flight. Though why would one endure the hassle of it all. Her ghost assistant and supposed husband would be dealing with it, eh. Maybe she had three suitcases for her Courchevel staycation, skiing outfits take up more space.
What made me laugh was her rant about toiletry bags - how no bag is suitable for her. Anna doesn't have the $ to use a designer train case/toiletry bag, so she says she hasn't found the perfect one. Well if she were rolling in $$ she would surely be showing off her designer accessories like she usually does.
In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with clear plastic toiletry bags. True, they can get dirty, but same thing can happen to any toiletry bag, whether it was from a cheap shop or designer. Banana hasn't heard of the innovative, ground breaking thing called cleaning.
And there was the not sponsored plug for Rimowa - to show that Banana only travels with expensive luggage. I think the choice of luggage really depends on the person, their travel needs, travel frequency and budget. It might not be a great idea for someone on a very low budget to invest in a Rimowa suitcase set if they only travel once a year or less. At airport, no one cares what brand your luggage is. What matters is that it's sturdy and can take a beating on the conveyor belts. Oh, and ideally the suitcase has a unique color or pattern - then you can spot your stuff immediately. A plain black suitcase can look similar to other people's. Banana would surely say my bright green suitcase isn't klaasy and elefant, but it has travelled a lot and it was like 70$ from Tk Maxx (store for unklaasy mango like me).

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

I travel with a duffel bag on wheels and a PVC toiletry bag. Not klahssy but my suitcase hasn't broken yet (whereas all Rimowa luggage is hard shell that risks breaking) and my husband travels with me, lives with me, and didn't marry me for residence purposes

 

[Nutsymom]

The bag is too good to be true. Can't find any fault in it. Seems like she has borrowed from someone. Genuine Hermes? Or Hermessa? She has never shown her own personal baha collection. Even Jameela Musayeva has done one

 

[ElegantWOC]

The bag is too good to be true. Can't find any fault in it. Seems like she has borrowed from someone. Genuine Hermes? Or Hermessa? She has never shown her own personal baha collection. Even Jameela Musayeva has done one

When I looked at it, it looked too good and we only saw it once 2 years ago, so I believe it was borrowed. That’s the closest picture we have of “her” bag.
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I travel with a duffel bag on wheels and a PVC toiletry bag. Not klahssy but my suitcase hasn't broken yet (whereas all Rimowa luggage is hard shell that risks breaking) and my husband travels with me, lives with me, and didn't marry me for residence purposes

It’s Rimowa or bust, elegunt laydee. You could also have a fake millionaire husband at the price of your integrity!

 

[jadakizz]

I have three cheaper versions of Rimowa and they aren’t brilliant! I’m not really bothered, I got them from a charity shop, they do the job for when we need them,but if I was investing and recommending expensive luggage it wouldn’t be a Rimowa. I also brought a suitcase about 7 years ago for uni from primark for my books for £10. It’s still going strong and actually my preferred one!

 

[ShootForTheMoon]

... my husband travels with me, lives with me, and didn't marry me for residence purposes

This one still puzzles me; I mean, Joe didn't need to marry a Swiss or an EU citizen in order to be allowed to stay in Switzerland, right? He is residing legally in CH due to his job, correct? Unless he saw a marriage with Anna Scamma Banana Bey as a two layer security for when (if) he would leave his job and didn't want to return to Lebanon. Two years and a bit after their wedding he's still in his job at the Audi Bank so it kind of tells me that he doesn't really need Banana, especially not after his name has been dragged through mud because of her! I think he must have had an additional reason for marrying her (what?)...but we know he regrets it bitterly now when he clearly doesn't want to have anything to do with Banana.

 

[vanilla_sky]

There is a chance our guru borrowed the bag or rented it. Or it is one of the superfakes that is available online. Though knowing Anna's budget right now I think she might have borrowed it, maybe from Lina? Who knows.
It seems Anna will keep on mentioning her husband - and I understand why she does it. Her supposed millionaire life and advice is based on her incredible networking skills that helped her snag a millionaire banker. In reality she married a normal professional who happens to work in a bank. But she hopes her followers keep thinking that he is a multi millionaire.
Imagine how the selling point of SOTEW would sound if she said the truth ''My secret tips to level up from go go dancer to marriage with normal professional! Live the high class life and pay me 1k$+''
Anna sells an aspirational idea - but she hasn't reached that aspiration herself. It'd be like me saying, dear mangoes, I have a diving course to sell! I've never done any diving but I've swam in a lake!

 

[ElegantWOC]

There is a chance our guru borrowed the bag or rented it. Or it is one of the superfakes that is available online. Though knowing Anna's budget right now I think she might have borrowed it, maybe from Lina? Who knows.
It seems Anna will keep on mentioning her husband - and I understand why she does it. Her supposed millionaire life and advice is based on her incredible networking skills that helped her snag a millionaire banker. In reality she married a normal professional who happens to work in a bank. But she hopes her followers keep thinking that he is a multi millionaire.
Imagine how the selling point of SOTEW would sound if she said the truth ''My secret tips to level up from go go dancer to marriage with normal professional! Live the high class life and pay me 1k$+''
Anna sells an aspirational idea - but she hasn't reached that aspiration herself. It'd be like me saying, dear mangoes, I have a diving course to sell! I've never done any diving but I've swam in a lake!

I wonder if Anna can create a course showing her followers how to drive an Hermessa in place of an automobile? Or be as discreet as possible in describing your husband to fly under the radar of suspicion? Can I see friends that aren’t influencers or on Instagram? No? No other high society ladies?

 

[ElegantWOC]

Dear Aija, can I see your typical lunch in Geneva so I can drool in admiration?

Texas women will eat you alive.

 

[vanilla_sky]

Dear mangoes and fans of chicken of the sea (according Banana, that IS part of a luxe meal so we all ought to follow her millionairess lead) , our guru Anna has posted another ''pearl'' of wisdom for us! She posted this to both Insta and youtube. Revel in the revelations of this.
Anna, you should take your own advice and be kinder to others. I had to wait ages for all the wisdom to appear on screen, the advice dropped in after a ton of luxurious twirls from Banana. And this advice is not just for the laydees but *gasp* gentlemen, too!
Banana thinks she can be a life coach eh? That market is sooo saturated, don't think Banana has something new and unique to entice people.

 

[jadakizz]

Anna’s “arrived to Burgundy” in her words. Not arrived at. But arrived to.
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Shame Anna is never dressed properly for everything she wants

 

[ElegantWOC]

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Anna’s “arrived to Burgundy” in her words. Not arrived at. But arrived to.
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Shame Anna is never dressed properly for everything she wants

She’s dressed to serve millionaire’s wives meals!

 

[vanilla_sky]

I wonder why it took Anna sooo long to post these pictures. She is hinting that she bought the red Kelly, but did she? Would Hermes offer her a Kelly? Maybe the bags were brought out for one of the other ladies who is in the pictures.
As far as I know, the Hermes game is quite tough and without an extensive purchase history it is rare to be offered a bag like Kelly or Birkin. Of course, some people do get lucky. Maybe she did.... but then again, thinking back to her microwave meal ladden fridge, maybe Anna should be thinking more practically because living expenses in Geneva are high and we know her husband is not spending much time with her - the fridge did not look like there's another person living there. Even if Anna could claim that he always eats in restaurants, people still have snacks etc in their fridge.
Mangoes, what do you think? Did Anna buy the bag?

 

[ElegantWOC]

I wonder why it took Anna sooo long to post these pictures. She is hinting that she bought the red Kelly, but did she? Would Hermes offer her a Kelly? Maybe the bags were brought out for one of the other ladies who is in the pictures.
As far as I know, the Hermes game is quite tough and without an extensive purchase history it is rare to be offered a bag like Kelly or Birkin. Of course, some people do get lucky. Maybe she did.... but then again, thinking back to her microwave meal ladden fridge, maybe Anna should be thinking more practically because living expenses in Geneva are high and we know her husband is not spending much time with her - the fridge did not look like there's another person living there. Even if Anna could claim that he always eats in restaurants, people still have snacks etc in their fridge.
Mangoes, what do you think? Did Anna buy the bag?

The red bag is Erica’s. I thought it was Anna’s bag at first as well, but it’s Erica’s story Anna reposted.

 

[vanilla_sky]

Ah, thank you @ElegantWOC I didn't notice that it was a re-post from Erica's story. I think Anna is banking on the fact that most people would read it just like I did - that Anna bought the bag. Smart move from our faux millionairess!

 

[ElegantWOC]

Ah, thank you @ElegantWOC I didn't notice that it was a re-post from Erica's story. I think Anna is banking on the fact that most people would read it just like I did - that Anna bought the bag. Smart move from our faux millionairess!

Almost got us hoodwinked! Time to start reading from the faux millionairess’ POV. I wouldn’t be surprised if she carried a red Kelly for 2 posts. It’s a shame carrying a new Kelly is a big deal instead of car keys!

 

[ShootForTheMoon]

The irony of Aija's life though She sleeps on a sofa bed, eats microwaveable meals and has to escort for a living, yet her main goal in her current life is to persuade people she can afford to buy a luxury bag. The priorities are all upside down here.

 

[ElegantWOC]

The irony of Aija's life though She sleeps on a sofa bed, eats microwaveable meals and has to escort for a living, yet her main goal in her current life is to persuade people she can afford to buy a luxury bag. The priorities are all upside down here.

Mmm.. I bet Anna chooses her microwave meals off how klassy and ahfluent the names sound. Chicken parmigiana, tuna pouch, anchovies de la mode, aged cheddar bowl, Swedish meatballs… Anna, I hope your TV dinners have ice in the middle when you eat them !!

Yummy!! I’m crying
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And those surfboards she calls feet.. I can’t pinpoint what’s funnier