Am I just being a twat or is my husband being dodgy?

[Missgobby124]

Ugh guys like this. I had a similar experience in the past, we actually met on a night out but I gave nothing away just added him on facebook.
He'd hidden his relationship status but didn't take much snooping. Immediately confronted him as he'd asked me to go to his with him the night before! He didn't block me but he begged me to keep my mouth shut. Which I did bc I have no desire for drama.

I sent the guys girlfriend screenshots of the convo and she never replied but then messaged me weeks ago thanking me for it and his name was no longer in her bio. It’s happened a many times. Once I uploaded something I cooked to my Instagram story and a guy popped up to it saying “tasty where’s mine?” I searched him up on Facebook and lo and behold he was married.

 

[Lovethesun]

I sent the guys girlfriend screenshots of the convo and she never replied but then messaged me weeks ago thanking me for it and his name was no longer in her bio. It’s happened a many times. Once I uploaded something I cooked to my Instagram story and a guy popped up to it saying “tasty where’s mine?” I searched him up on Facebook and lo and behold he was married.

See all twats the lot of them !! I’ve got one who’s child is in the same class as mine , he randomly added me a year or so ago . Popped up one night on my messenger just making polite conversation, which I already thought was odd , because he’s married I see his wife at school all the time . He started getting a bit flirty , messaging all the time , I replied a bit longer . Then I messaged saying , I take it your wife doesn’t know about these conversations? And he backed off , so awkward though I still have to see him at school & make polite conversation with his wife

 

[mochibean]

I sent the guys girlfriend screenshots of the convo and she never replied but then messaged me weeks ago thanking me for it and his name was no longer in her bio. It’s happened a many times. Once I uploaded something I cooked to my Instagram story and a guy popped up to it saying “tasty where’s mine?” I searched him up on Facebook and lo and behold he was married.

Ugh these guys are so scummy honestly! Married men are the worst, like if you have a girlfriend you're a dick but if you're married then wow. duck these guys.

Glad you sent her screenshots she deserved to know I just didn't want to get involved. If it was my partner I'd definitely want to know!

 

[F the dust.]

I disagree. Of course some men would, but I think a lot wouldn’t.

Agreed I'm 41 been with my husband 26 years, 4 kids one who had a tumour( fine now) one with autism. We have little money and still we are so close. He would literally do anything for me and I'm not but he tells me I'm beautiful. I know this might be cringe but good faithful men do exist. Plus my parents have been married 50 years...my dad's a good man too.

 

[Alexaj]

I work in a male dominated environment, and this is so far from my experience. I have a chat and a laugh with my colleagues but none of them have ever offered themselves on a plate. I’m an early 30s, slim, not ugly. I think with these things it’s a case of the vibes you give off, my husband says the same when I joke that I’ve never been chatted up. if most of your work colleagues have genuinely done that I think you must be giving off signals, even if it’s subconscious.

I think this is really unfair. Being a woman sometimes it's a fine line in a male environment. You engage in the banter and you're flirting, you ignore and you're humourless. It's almost victim blaming to accuse the poster of giving out "vibes." Even if she was, it's the mens' responsibility to behave themselves, especially if they have wife or kids. She could be offering herself up on a plate but they're still responsible for their own actions!

 

[Sabbie]

I’ve known plenty of women who have been in “happy” and “secure” relationships for decades and the men turnaround and cheat or leave them. It happens way more often than you’d care to imagine.

 

[Babysnark]

I think this is really unfair. Being a woman sometimes it's a fine line in a male environment. You engage in the banter and you're flirting, you ignore and you're humourless. It's almost victim blaming to accuse the poster of giving out "vibes." Even if she was, it's the mens' responsibility to behave themselves, especially if they have wife or kids. She could be offering herself up on a plate but they're still responsible for their own actions!

All of this! There's a definite "victim blaming" vibe when you suggest that a woman must be giving off vibes if a man starts flirting with her. Why don't we just ask what they were wearing to work while we are at it?

During periods of my life when I was single I could not believe the amount of times that men I knew were in relationships crossed the line - whether it be trying to kiss me on a night out or being flirty in my DMs it did totally destroy my opinion on fidelity for a while. I also know from talking to friends im not alone in this experience of men either.

 

[Bgr101]

All of this! There's a definite "victim blaming" vibe when you suggest that a woman must be giving off vibes if a man starts flirting with her. Why don't we just ask what they were wearing to work while we are at it?

During periods of my life when I was single I could not believe the amount of times that men I knew were in relationships crossed the line - whether it be trying to kiss me on a night out or being flirty in my DMs it did totally destroy my opinion on fidelity for a while. I also know from talking to friends im not alone in this experience of men either.

I work with a guy who is married and i thought we were just friends then i realised he was really looking for more and if i had been up for it he would have been too

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

I’ve known plenty of women who have been in “happy” and “secure” relationships for decades and the men turnaround and cheat or leave them. It happens way more often than you’d care to imagine.

It happens the other way round too. My mum did it to my dad.

 

[Alexaj]

All of this! There's a definite "victim blaming" vibe when you suggest that a woman must be giving off vibes if a man starts flirting with her. Why don't we just ask what they were wearing to work while we are at it?

During periods of my life when I was single I could not believe the amount of times that men I knew were in relationships crossed the line - whether it be trying to kiss me on a night out or being flirty in my DMs it did totally destroy my opinion on fidelity for a while. I also know from talking to friends im not alone in this experience of men either.

... You're not alone. I've been kissed twice while single (where the guy is not), and had "declarations of love" twice when I've been in a relationship (thank God that's as far as they went).

 

[Rolypolymmm]

Yep women cheat too but normally like someone said previously if they aren’t getting attention or are unhappy in a marriage , they look for more of an emotional connection .
Unfortunately men’s dicks have minds of their own & even happyily married men will cheat given half the chance . Those of you who believe everything is rosey live in cloud cookoo land I’m afraid . To men it’s just sex , they can detach from it . Read the threads a lot of the women who found their partner to be Cheating , never ever imagined he would do it , married for years etc . It’s circumstantial , if a man hasn’t cheated he’s not had the opportunity. I’m not a man hater I’m just realistic & would never trust a man 100%

100% agree.

I've male friends i know have cheated on their wives/gf.

I've also had a lot of married men over the years try it on....me not being flirty- just friendly. One man I was chatting to on a flight thought I didn't see him take his wedding ring off....well I did!!!

 

[Blue_sky]

Ahh ladies! Men are scum - bit I choose to believe that they aren’t all like my lying cheating ex husband *see earlier posts in this thread! I have since found out that my ex has a very toxic debt problem probably due to gambling/high functioning drug addiction... I am almost convinced that without this he would have been happier in our marriage and wouldn’t have strayed ( I might be kidding myself - but whatever works to give me a chance to trust again)
This Christmas has been tit! Sending out love to the other ladies who might be struggling now or be starting the recovery journey I did in May - it gets better!! Xx

 

[leviosa]

@leviosa how are things now with you and your husband? Sending love x

We're still here. I honestly adore him so the thought of being without is so so hard. We have three children, we're (hopefully) expecting a grandchild. I'm still so hurt and have so many questions. He promises me it was only chat but it's difficult to believe that. I just am too old at 41 years old to ever trust another man again. Better the devil you know, I suppose.

 

[smirkingrevenge]

We're still here. I honestly adore him so the thought of being without is so so hard. We have three children, we're (hopefully) expecting a grandchild. I'm still so hurt and have so many questions. He promises me it was only chat but it's difficult to believe that. I just am too old at 41 years old to ever trust another man again. Better the devil you know, I suppose.

You’re definitely not too old for anything and if you can’t trust him and this is constantly eating away at you, you need to consider all your options.

 

[Girlinabubble]

I’m separating after nearly 40 years of marriage - it wasn’t my choice initially but Im ok with it now and when I read how sad some of you are I think at least you didn’t do what I did and spend my life with a man who has never really loved me. Be hopeful and excited about the future - you can spend a lifetime with someone who loves truly loves you. Be strong and choose to be happy.

I seen a few likes and reactions to this post recently so I thought that I’d update my situation!
We are still together and I have to say that it is very happily together ! That saying that ‘ it’s at the edge that people change’ - I think that my husband recognised that I genuinely felt positive about a future without him and that he realised that he didn’t want that - has had lots of therapy - recognises the issues that stopped us being happy together and is now very loving and appreciative! I would never ever have thought that this would be possible but so far so good!

 

[Blue_sky]

Timely that I happened to come on here today! My update is that I am now happily divorced and I am due to complete the purchase of my very own flat! In the year since my marriage broke down I’ve been to some dark places, but ever hopeful I’ve have ploughed on through. I’ve been promoted at work and I am starting a new chapter in my life I don’t think I’d have had the determination or strength to do without losing everything! Sometimes things have to break, but you can build something even more beautiful from the pieces you have left sounds odd to say, but in doing what he did he set me free and I know that I’ll have a happier life now!

 

[Girlinabubble]

What a funny coincidence ! And what lovely news! I guess I could say the same about something good coming from something broken but from a different perspective. Happily we’re both happier ! Wish you Good luck and the bluest of blue skies!

 

[Blue_sky]

Thank you! It can all work out right in the end, whatever happens

 

[leviosa]

We have officially separated. I haven't stopped crying yet. This is my worst nightmare.

 

[PineappleQueen19]

Sending love and hugs @leviosa