Alfies Irrelevant Deyes of Arrested Development

[thenomad]

Alfie looking like shit
Interesting Alfie has a post on his IG about spending more time with loved ones and Zoe is nowhere to be found in that post. Even a random alpaca gets a feature.

Alfie, 2019 is going to be the countdown year where Zoe is expecting both a proposal and a bun in the oven before she turns 30. The pressure is on. Don’t be too ‘hyped’ about the new year...

 

[PartOfMe]

She's 29 this year, with how unhealthy she looks I think she's going to find getting pregnant difficult (even if they shagged twice a day which I doubt they do a month)

This summer she's going to know that a bump by 30 isn't on the cards, hope it kicks off then

 

[Deepsigh2018]

I wonder if he will actually do anything with the land he bought this year or will it just be forgotten about.

 

[Yel]

Almost time for a new thread, and I'll be glad to be rid of this one as never sure if it should have an apostrophe.

Alfie Deyes #2 ????

 

[StephenTJackson]

Almost time for a new thread, and I'll be glad to be rid of this one as never sure if it should have an apostrophe.

Alfie Deyes #2 ????

How do you come up with a thread title when the most interesting thing to happen in the past couple of months is Joanne turning up in their vlogs. Unless somebody more creative than me can come up with a title that compares Zalfie to Joanne.

 

[Yel]

How do you come up with a thread title when the most interesting thing to happen in the past couple of months is Joanne turning up in their vlogs. Unless somebody more creative than me can come up with a title that compares Zalfie to Joanne.

Yep think it's going to be a tough task, I couldn't think of anything! If there's nothing good come post 1000 we should probably just leave it at 'Alfie Deyes #2' that speaks volumes.

 

[jammy]

Yep think it's going to be a tough task, I couldn't think of anything! If there's nothing good come post 1000 we should probably just leave it at 'Alfie Deyes #2' that speaks volumes.

Alfie's dull adventures with his Dubai dentures!

 

[Yel]

Alfie's dull adventures with his Dubai dentures!

I think we have a winner!

Although will his non adventures it might still be a few weeks before this thread is full

 

[emmer_moans]

How is he still getting any views?! I keep up with him based on twitter and this thread alone because it is amusing to analyse but i can't see why the minions havent all stopped.

 

[StephenTJackson]

How is he still getting any views?! I keep up with him based on twitter and this thread alone because it is amusing to analyse but i can't see why the minions havent all stopped.

The minions are breaking slowly. They are slowly realising what we have all been saying. This reply I got the other day after calling him out would’ve been a minion calling me a troll and sending hate four years ago. But she is starting to see the truth.

 

[CoffeeAddict]

I think it’s only a matter of time before they fully realise how different their priorities are right now. I’m really surprised they’ve managed to hold it together this long - probably courtesy of gleam convincing them they’d make more money together. He has ridden zoe for all that she’s worth, I pray for the day he is left wondering wtf to do with his life.

 

[Yel]

How is he still getting any views?!

Sean is still getting 30k views a video, so there is a small amount of people wanting content from this lot. But it's getting shrinking everyday, his views are down across the two channels over 80% from the peak.

I've started following him on instagram just because of how unintentionally funny and pathetic his posts are. Yesterday he ate some sushi then used some beauty roller that seemed brighter than him - "legit, dunt actually know whot this does, maybe it speed up da growth of me beard. ouch. tit"

He asks zella if she bought it, as if! "no I got sent it a year ago"

 

[Youtubegossip]

Sean is still getting 30k views a video, so there is a small amount of people wanting content from this lot. But it's getting shrinking everyday, his views are down across the two channels over 80% from the peak.

I've started following him on instagram just because of how unintentionally funny and pathetic his posts are. Yesterday he ate some sushi then used some beauty roller that seemed brighter than him - "legit, dunt actually know whot this does, maybe it speed up da growth of me beard. ouch. tit"

Saw that and was thinking FFS.... I often think he's seen how popular Joey Essex got by playing dumb and that he's emulated it, but then I hear him speak and realise he really is just dumb. It's so saddening to know how much money the likes of him. and Oli White have made by litcherally doing nothing. At least Alfie has moved on from 'trying every Coca Cola flavour' etc which Oli is still milking.

 

[Yel]

Saw that and was thinking FFS.... I often think he's seen how popular Joey Essex got by playing dumb and that he's emulated it, but then I hear him speak and realise he really is just dumb. It's so saddening to know how much money the likes of him. and Oli White have made by litcherally doing nothing. At least Alfie has moved on from 'trying every Coca Cola flavour' etc which Oli is still milking.

I'm no doctor but think he's fucked up his brain for life. This fame at an early age means he stopped developing or building or using his brain during the peak growing years with all the inane stuff that became his life.

Financially he's fine as he was lucky enough to have the capital to buy flats and has benefited hugely from the lowering of interest rates and the printing of money causing an asset bubble. But that will probably cause the brain rot to be worse as he has no need to work, challenge himself or do anything productive for the rest of his life.

 

[Bythesea]

I came across the YouTuber safiya nygaard. I have no idea if she is generally well liked but I found it interesting how much time seems to go into each upload. It kind of made me think about how lazy and useless Alfie is

 

[Youtubegossip]

Jackmaate trolling Alfie gives me LOLs

 

[Youtubegossip]

Latest insta. Is he trolling? I’m sure someone said he stole that design off a fan?

 

[Maureen]

Jackmaate trolling Alfie gives me LOLs

It's like he's trying to make a point that he's not boring or lazy now - "I'm making an interesting video longer than an hour long!"

<<<SPOILER ALERT>>>
Watched the preview clip - apparently it's a podcast with someone who was in an inner city gang and got shot.
When you've done nothing with your life the last 10 years but mooch of your girlfriend's fame it's probably going to make you quite boring and vacuous by 25.

Getting other people on his show who have lived their lives and have stories to tell is probably a good strategy for him to be fair - all he has to do is ask the odd question and they can do all the talking - he may very well have found his niche in life!

 

[StephenTJackson]

The have FINALLY launched the website for A to Z Creatives. https://www.atozcreatives.com/

It still doesn’t really tell us what the company does beyond management for Zoe and Alfie and handling things like merch and brand deals for them. Interestingly the list of brand “collaborations” are basically just companies they’ve done #AD deals with.

“We are a social media savvy, creative outlet who love nothing more than producing great quality content to assist in taking creators, brands and local businesses from A to Z.” What does this even mean really?

The meet the team is also vomit inducing. Here are the highlights of questions to the team.

Zoe: Q: If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time? A: Read more, and catch up on all the Netflix series I’m desperate to watch. How can there possibly anything left to watch on Netflix, it’s all she does!

Alfie: Q: Who would you love to be for the day? A: Sherlock Holmes, I’d love to experience the way his brain works. Just experiencing how any brain works would be an achievement for Alfie.

There is also meet the team questions with all the rest of the team.

The website doesn’t tell anybody looking into the company what the company does. And I think that is because it doesn’t do anything beyond work for Zoe and Alfie. It’s never gonna be a company that works with other brands/companies/talent etc.

 

[Maureen]

Alfie: Q: Who would you love to be for the day? A: Sherlock Holmes, I’d love to experience the way his brain works. Just experiencing how any brain works would be an achievement for Alfie.

This one's hilarious. Is he not aware that Sherlock Holmes is a fictional character? The logic he uses isn't real, his 'brain' isn't real hahaha Does he think the deductions of Sherlock Holmes are what actual investigators use??? It's there to move the story on and solve the crime