Alfies Irrelevant Deyes of Arrested Development

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He's still putting out basic videos as if it was 2010 and he was 16.

I'm surprised his views aren't even lower.
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Is anyone still watching him? I liked the roundups but no one from GG even posts them anymore and since I'm banned can't ask there ha
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  • So Alfie goes to Paris, but makes Morgan make sure he remembers everything - is he 24 or 4?
  • Alfie is doing more work with companies (e.g. today with "Shadow", trouble in financial paradise?
  • He should of put #AD in this video for Shadow as he promoted the hell out of it.
  • Must be nice that he can throw £200/$260.00 on a brand new laptop just for to "test" this companies program, this is how you know he didn't learn anything from the £1 debacle. His excuse "I needed to test it and left it last minute, so had to get a latop from Amazon Prime" -- there are sooo many second hand shops he could of went to, but no flaunt the wealth.
  • Alfie: "I love Paris, because of how busy it is" -- he literally moans about this in London
  • I think everything about Alfie annoys me now, he stepped into the Shadow HQ and threw his jumper on the sofa. Have some respect. Like be comfortable, but it's not your house!
  • When he did the office tour, folding arms and just shaking his head - he looked like a right knob.
  • It's a sad day when you have to get your Uber driver to go in a hot air balloon with you and say "if you come, I'll pay" -- hope he paid for the rides the Uber driver missed running around with him instead
  • Alfie: "We are going on a hot air balloon to play Fortnite at the top" -- this is probably the saddest thing I have heard. I get he wants to test how well the Shadow program is, but you are in Paris playing Fortnite?
  • Alfie: "When we sat down with the CEO of Shadow I was expecting a proper business man to walk and really try sell this product to promote this product to you guys" -- this sentence alone proves the video should have #AD
  • Alfie said the CEO message was "super touching" as he said "If it's something bad, we want you say it. If it's something good, we want you to say it", "He is not about money but making the best product" -- literally the opposite of Alfie as he hates criticism (like Zoe) and it is ALL about money.
  • One nice comment: He is given the brand new laptop away to a subscriber.
  • Alfie: "If you want to check out Shadow, use the code Alfie to get £10 off your first month" -- Definitely not an #AD

GossWhore (previously known as AmenAmen91)​
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Love you amen Goss! Doing public service work for us.

Paying an Uber driver to go in a hot air balloon with you and the "savage" idea of playing fortnight in the air is just cringe. I think even the 7 year olds find him embarrassing now! His creativity was awful to start with, now it's like using the same budget 0.2p tea bag for the 90th time.

Did he have ad on the screen for this? It's another brand I will never touch now
God's work as per usual! This place is going to be run well, no micromanaging what people talk about or power crazy mods.
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Thanks for sharing that-nice to have the recaps.

I think he really hates her and how much he needs her for views. No Zoe = no money or fame.

How's dat sick podcast cummin along Alf?
Gummy has lost thousands of subs this week, you know he checks his stats daily.

His only cards left to play is engagement, wedding and baby. The minions might not give two fucks by the time any of them come. What happened to all the apps that were being made?
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  • Gotta get that Zoe mulla money -- yes yes relationship vlog, add juicy --- money money y'all.
  • Nala is at the vets AGAIN - sick with abdominal pains, that dog is always ill and I am not blaming the dog.
  • I am not suprised Buzz can handle the vets, but Nala can't. Look at her owners!
  • LOL Alfie legit held Zoes hand for like 5 seconds, then got distracted - let go and didn't resume holding her hand #CoupleGoalz
  • Forever hanging out with his mum, dad, Soppy - has he NO friends?
  • He points the camera at a whole carrot cake in a cafe and says "£32 for the whole cake, that's the dream" -- quite sure he spends more on lunch everyday than that.
  • He is doing a no-coffee challenge, it is day 4. Lol. It isn't really a coffee challenge, but I am surprised he didn't attempt it.
  • "Soon as the 7 days are up I am going back to drinking coffee, just proving I don't need it" -- um, kinda think going straight back defeats the purpose.
Relationship Q&A part:
Doing it as The Youngs did.
Questions (Q) asked by Daniel Young via InstaStories, Alfie (A) in blue, Zoe (Z) in pink. My comments in bold lol.

Q: Is it OK to fancy other people?
A: Straight answer, Yes. -- Alfie was in there like a SHOT, I burst out laughing! He didn't need 2 mins to say YES.
Z: I think fancying is thinking someone is more than attractive, it is you can't stop thinking about them.
A: No, it's like me fancying Taylor Swift. I think she's cool and attractive.
Z: But that doesn't mean you fancy her.
A: I am getting up the definition.
Z: If you said to me I fancy that girl in the coffee shop, I'd be like.......ohhh. **awkward laugh** --- Zoe is so insecure.
A: Definition of "fancy" is feeling a desire or liking for.
Z: Is it OK for me to fancy a random guy on the street?
A: Yeah, why not. You can say I fancy him. You aren't going to run off and start a relationship with him. --- He knows she isn't going nowhere. She wants a "ring and a bump" by 30, so she will hang on and Alfie knows it.
Z: But it is different to fancy a celeb, because it is unattainable then some random guy.
A: It only happens if you want it to happen.
Z: I can safely say, I do not fancy anyone except you [Alfie]. --- She was very stern with this and it made it awks AF.
A: **Awkward laugh** The question isn't if you do, it's if you think it's OK.
Z: I can't fancy someone if I don't know them. I might find them attractive.
A: You are confusing fancy and like.
Z: I grew up thinking fancy is someone you wanted to date.
A: That's quite young thinking --- He is so condescending and she just said "yeah", what a moron.
Z: If your mum said she fancied one of your Dads friends, that's weird.
A: **No response - because it is now different because its his mum. not his gf lol**
Z: OK. Fancying is harmless.
A: The only issue is if you action it or you didn't feel secure in your relationship -- Funny as Zoe is not secure, Alfie however is chilled AF lol
Z: Or you are soooo different to the person they fancy, like me and Taylor Swift are so different. And it makes me wonder why you fancy me **awkward laugh**.........I'm joking.

Q: Seeing as you are so busy, how do you find time to be romantic?
Z: Does he mean romantic or something else?????
A: He said romantic. If he meant something else, he would of said. -- Everyone know y'all don't have sexy time.
Z: I don't think we are a romantic couple. Alfie is not romantic. He is thoughtful, but not romantic. Alfies Dad is romantic. How do we find time? We don't **awkward laugh** -- Not romantic? No news to me. They are a business contract couple.
A: Our brains are full of all the different things we are doing - and being romantic is one thing we are not good at. I'm not saying it's a good thing. A lot of couples I know who have crazy busy live, have date nights --- I feel Alfie was criticising Zoe to an extent; like she could try more. I bet they discussed this in "therapy".
Z: But that is hard for us to do. -- Excuses, excuses.
A: Like next week, I'm away Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
Z: I'm away Friday. It is hard, but we find speak. We make time to talk and hang out -- Firstly next week they are both free Monday, Saturday and Sunday, sync up your calendars and block time out. But no they "talk and hang out" like brother and sister, not a couple. How sad.

Q: Was it love at first sight?
Z: I don't believe in that.
A: It's different for us, we saw each others videos. Then we met a party. I didn't know who you were, even though you had double the amount of subs than me.
Z: Did you notice me at the party? What did you think?
A: You were wearing those black pants you ALWAYS wore. ---- Those damn disco pants, lol.
*** Irrelevant rubbish discussed then in regards to Alfies confidence and being single then........***
A: I have friends, even when they are single they want to be in a relationships. I have never been that person. I am fine on my own.
Z: Yeah, yeah, yeah ---- How awkward for Zoe, Alfie is legit saying I would be OK if we broke up whilst she holds on for dear life.

A: I don't think it was love at first sight, but we did speak on Skype for 7 hours the first time we spoke.
Z: I think we quickly fell in love.
A: **CRICKETS**.............Yeah. --- So many awkward moments and this added to it, Alfie just stared into a distance whilst Zoe was speaking lol.

Q: If you hadn't ended up with each-other, where do you think you'd be and who do you think you'd be with?
Z: I would still be doing Youtube.
A: Yeah I would be doing Youtube, I would be probably be living in London or America. Or I would have a super small flat in Brighton and be away a lot. --- So we know Alfies plan if/when they break up.
Z: I think I would still be doing Youtube, but it wouldn't be at this level. ---- They discussed that their relationship was the first time the "beauty world" and "vlogger world" collided and then it all blew up (sub counts). So they are both extremely aware how their relationship has helped their careers. Very aware.
A: Could you be with someone who didn't get YouTube?
Z: I would be with someone who understood. ---- They talk like a pair of housemates, not a couple of five years.
A: Yeah, like a model or something --- Guess him liking all those Instamodels is his type.

Q: Biggest argument you've had?
A: Not our biggest, most constant argument. ---- Alfie legit insisted on that it **had** to be their constant, not biggest, what are they hiding???
Z: Most of our arguments are work-related because we work in the same industry and same office.......We also use to argue about Alfie daily vlogging, about 2 years ago ---- It was clear they argued about daily vlogging as Zoe constantly lied e.g. her book scandal, most was uncovered due to Alfies daily vlogging her slothing around.

The rest of the video was super boring; Zoe looking at engagement rings through a window, Alfie joking he would get her an engagement anklet, Alfie wearing a fanny pak and talking about "Savage" videos to come next week
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Yay recaps! LOL!! I'm here from GG.

He TOTALLY uses her for views at this point. She's in every thumbnail, he mentions her all the time, and there is obviously nothing left there, it's like null and void, all for show. Sad for Zoe.
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I thought it was hilarious when Alfie was talking about how he was never the type to have to constantly be in a relationship prior to dating Zoe. First of all, LOL. You were still a teenager then, right? Second of all, Zoe’s FACE! [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] She was all like, CAN NOT RELATE. Hasn’t she spoken about always having to have a love interest/boyfriend growing up? That whole q&a was a tit show.
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Has anyone gone back to the original video where Alfie got the questions from? You will notice the second question Q: Seeing as you are so busy, how do you find time to be romantic? was not actually the original question. definitely avoided that situation because there is probably nothing to talk about. it was just the most awkward couples Q&A not even any affection towards each other. they act like roommates
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From GG. They are so not truthful about anything. It's all a front.

No way would Alfie be living in America, he likes to dream but he seems unlikely to ever live more than a 15 minute drive from Bristol. The last time they did one of these videos it was awful, Zoe was in a goldfish top and got pissed off that he didn't give the answers she wanted. Lots of jump cuts and daggers. Why do they do this when they always come across so badly?!

Her boobs were just ridiculous, how does she walk about in public like that??

Break up!! There's nowt left but wanting to make money out of the couple goals. He don't love you. Only thing he loves is views and the inbread dog.
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I bet he hasn't got that sub count clock plugged in these days.
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People are starting to wake up to his bullshit and unsubscribing by the boatloads on a daily basis. Good.
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I bet he hasn't got that sub count clock plugged in these days.
He'll do a video soon mentioning he doesn't care about subs. Then claim he's doing different new content that he loves and doesn't mind if a few subs are lost.

Ignoring the fact the content hasn't changed and that's the reason he's loosing subs. [emoji23]

The zalfie video will get the views in short term, but he can't keep doing one of those every week.
The whole relationship Q+A portion was really cringeworthy. It wasn't couple goalzzz at all. Alfie and Zoe were on completely different wavelengths. Zoe gushing about how Alfie is the one for her and justifying that even though he's not romantic (like his dad) that at least he is thoughtful--lol sure. On the other hand, Alfie was going on about how different his life might be if Zoe wasn't in the picture, how he's never really needed to be in a relationship (except that he is in one?!). They both seemed more involved and worried about Nala than about each other.

Also, don't get me even started on the fact they don't really do date nights bc their schedules are so hectic and rarely sync up. What a farce. They don't have children, they have very flexible work schedules, and Alfie made the decision to go to Paris w/ Morgan instead of Zoe (not that Zoe would have gone). They have all the time and means to spend quality time with each other but would rather spend it with their friends than with each other. After having dated for five something years, owning a 'business' together, and having bought houses next door to each other; these two sure don't seem in love or committed to their relationship.

Any smart person would have not uploaded that Q+A portion with those answers. Bad look for both of them all around. But I guess Zoe's 'not-really-padded' bra will bring in the views that he desperately needs.
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Hey hey new here from GG :D

Last year especially near the end like from October-ish he kept going on and ooooon about having all these meetings
And even hiring new people because his main channel was gonna make a comeback and he was busy on this big white board planning out ideas of what kind of videos etc. and 2018 was gonna be THE year.......
We’re almost in august now... where are all these main channel videos

And those sims videos that he pre-recorded?

And he also prooooomised that after everything “went wrong, blabla excuses”
That the podcast would definitely come out in the first week of July.... again it’s almost august......

We’re 8 months in to the new year basically and he hasn’t done tit so far
But do yourself a favor and work hard today right?!?!
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Firstly, whatever it is. It won't be crazy and part 2 will never come.

Secondly, his engagement is DISGRACEFUL
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