He did crystal maze HAHAHA
Touching everything in the shop then touching his camera
Did anyone see the state of the ramp in the latest vlog
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Alfie Deyes #9 The lights are always on, but nobodys home
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Touching everything in the shop then touching his camera
Did anyone see the state of the ramp in the latest vlog
VLOG: Trying Out This 'New' Coffee Style
Bloody check -- only 2 [aww he's toning it down, but still clapping like a seal lol]
- He starts by showing off all the tit jumpers he bleached and will be selling for triple the price
- He bangs on about self-isolating for 17 days -- like he is the only one
- He is wearing a mask which will not protect him "the reason I am wearing this I am doing a food shop, I don't want to be doing stuff and touch my face" -- because yes when I am looking for bananas, I Start randomly rubbing my face, sometimes with the fruit. It's the reason they ban me from Waitrose.
- Zoe acting like a doofus as usual "I'Ve FoRgOttON hOw To DrIVe hEHe" - she is exhausting, and this woman is THIRTY
- They spoke about the letter Boris Johnson (Prime minister of the UK) sent everyone a letter of staying indoors and leaving your house only once a day for exercise -- Zoe probably read the exercise part and thought "I can do one better and not exercise full stop"
- Then added "Zoe was like we need to keep onto this because one day our kids in the future reading this letter, that will be like taught in the history book" --- what bizarre thinking they have
- He did a riddle "What can you hold in your right hand but never in your left hand?"
- Alfie "I am gonna anti bac my hands so everyone as safe as possible from us" --Zalfie should just stay inside and protect us for good
- Zoe seemed very concerned "did they have avos".....Alfie eased her pain with yes --- an avo free lockdown, THINK OF THE CHILDREN! LOL
- Alfie "the things people would assume would run out like avocados they have lots of stock, but things probably didn't realise people would use like baking, but baking is not a necessity it is a luxury" -- LOOOL how middle class, I am working with vulnerable families who use flour for making pita, chapatti, pizza because it's cheaper for them, they aren't looking for avocados
- Alfie "me and Zoe made a new rule when we clean and tidy the house for one hour every day whilst self-isolating" --- how messy does their house get?????? Imagine if they had kids
- Apparently everyone has been "hammering" him on his "socials" (honestly hate when he calls it that) to make the Tik Tok coffee -- groundbreaking content
- Zoe "wiLL tWo TAbLe SpOoNs oF coFfEE mAKe mE hAVe a HeaRtatTack" --- because she sooo precious
- He shows his future self hoodies and adds "usually I am not handmaking the garments myself" -- EXCUSE ME? did you sew this? did you source the material?? LOOOL little bit of dyeing and he is now self-made
- SIDE COMMENT: I really I think he is doing all the sht dyeing because he has never had a proper job, heck even Zoe once upon a time worked in New Look --- I feel he wants to be like "yeah I make garments, I don't just do youtube" ----and also he wants to make a tit tonne of money after this is all over
- He was all gummy smiling "the last drop sold out in 1 min 20" --- yeah Alf that's what happens when you only make 10 and give half to your family lol
- Another day, another order which is not essential -- he did buy books, however, it's 2020!!! -- use kindles and help your postman stay safe
- He showed the books he had ordered ------" Letters from an Astrophysicist" - Letters from an Astrophysicist - Neil deGrasse Tyson (available as an ebook), "Dreamland" - Bob Lazar (also available as an ebook), "Permanent Record" - Edward Snowden
- Alfie "these are pretty heavy books, but I am someone who believes things just from the media without knowing other alternatives" --- isn't this the same guy who could not finish his gf tween book? LOL - he will leave them on their coffee table to look superrrr smart and never read them
- Next clip -- he is going to his office next to the house and has his KEYS IN HIS MOUTH --- Is he ok??? Wears a mask in M&S, puts dirty keys in his mouth???
- I don't know why when he mentioned jumping in the bath with Zoe, it felt incestuous lol
- He made prawns for dinner and added "I don't really know to cook prawns with pasta" --- he is mentally 10 I swear!
- Alfie "I googled prawn pasta and they all have garlic sauce, I don't know how to make a garlic sauce so I am using garlic puree" -- legit garlic sauce is sooooo easy, he is just lazy
- Alfie tastes his own prawns "bloody hell Jamie I am coming for you" --- 1 meal and now he's a Michelin star chef lol
- EATS IN BED BUT HAS A MANSION
- Alfie "I want to encourage you if you are not into cooking, have a dabble of trying something new. If you are making beans on toast, add in some cheese, add in some Lea & Perrins" --- wow he is not only a Michelin star chef but a motivator - Alfiestole Ramsey
Bloody check -- only 2 [aww he's toning it down, but still clapping like a seal lol]
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You have to go easy on him, he's some kinda specialView attachment 106311
Alfie’s insta. Yes Alfie, must have taken so long to plug in an amp.
“finally”
And now for it to sit and gather dust for the rest of time like the piano.View attachment 106311
Alfie’s insta. Yes Alfie, must have taken so long to plug in an amp.
“finally”
The avocado thing is so bleeping tory. Alfie thinks baking is just those 7 tier cakes he gets gifted on birthday. He doesn’t know it’s bread and stuff too.
he’s actually either not the full ticket or really dumb
he’s actually either not the full ticket or really dumb
and the ramp.
I was going to mention the ramp! Good weather, stuck at home....shouldn’t Alfie be doing some sick skating by now?
He would if he could skate
Alfie got offered the SAS gig but turned it down so he has probably been offered a fair few things but just chooses not to do them.
He's as bad as Zoe in refusing anything that is outside his comfort zone or requiring even the slightest bit of effort.
Because he knows
A he wouldn’t hack it
B he would show his true colours outside of his finely edited version of only what he wants out there.
come on adventurer Alf lad, get yourself on I’m a celeb
OMG DEADView attachment 106311
Alfie’s insta. Yes Alfie, must have taken so long to plug in an amp.
“finally”
‘the setup’Not forgetting c, he wouldnt be able to call mummy when he got scared by the nasty men.Because he knows
A he wouldn’t hack it
B he would show his true colours outside of his finely edited version of only what he wants out there.
come on adventurer Alf lad, get yourself on I’m a celeb
OMG DEAD
He 100% wouldn’t do it because he wouldn’t have control over the edit and his true colours would come out.
there’s an old vlog of him and Poppy having a water fight and the look he gives Poppy when she gets him is pure nasty: like she’s tit on his shoe. Not a side we see often but it’s there!
there’s an old vlog of him and Poppy having a water fight and the look he gives Poppy when she gets him is pure nasty: like she’s tit on his shoe. Not a side we see often but it’s there!
Plus he's a fuckin wimp. Like when he got hand sanitiser in a small cut, you'd think his hand had been amputated.
Its not just that he WOULDNT do it he COULDNT do it. It nearly killed him when he did 30 push ups.
These two show that you don’t need to be intelligent, interesting or funny to be rich. Very worrying indeed!!!You have to go easy on him, he's some kinda special
Haven’t watch him in years suprised they still together, did he ever propose?
Nope nothing has changed.
VLOG: I'M TEMPTED TO DO IT...
Bloody check = 2
- States he is donating all the ad-sense in this video to the NHS --- This #SUPERSATURDAY for Youtubers giving their AdSense to the NHS was Saffron Barkers idea -- I am no way a Saff stan, but he should have mentioned why he decided to do it, but of course, he wants to be seen as some selfish hero and reading his comments his minions seem to think he is
- He legit clapped for himself "It's 10.48am and my vlog is already edited" *Seal clap time* ----- is he forreal?
- He goes full-on Alfiestole "This is going down as a moment in history, but no means don't think this is a big thing....billions of people are also struggling, financially, physically, mental health...however, you are feeling...you are not alone" --- thanks Alf I didn't know this was a big thing and tbh he will neve under most of these struggles so pleassse sit this convo out
- "Use the comments section to bring each other up" -- but will he engage with his minions -- NOPE!!!
- Alfie: "deep chat aside" --- excuse me?
- Passive-aggressive #AD mention as he is working with Sky on his Instagram "THIS VIDEO IS NOT AN AD"
- The celebrity Q&As are coming ----- what 2022,2023???
- He got an email, which he was supper excited about a document he needed signing, even saying "you probably don't care" -- then cut it out? Just wanted to brag
- He unboxed the amp he bought
- He makes a sad meal of unseasoned salmon and Uncle Bens rice -- wait he threw some soy sauce on top --- Jamie Oliver who???
- He talks about training "A couple months ago when I was training hard saying that makes me sad now, this was my go-to lunch....I need to get back into it, I am outta sync" ---- when did he train?? He said he trained for 4 MONTHS?? when??? lol
- He watches Jamie Oliver and Oprah live cooking, instead of that he is more excited about Steve playing Animal Crossing on Twitch
- Alfie: "You lot have been going nuts for me to go live playing Animal Crossing....but I am incredibly busy....I don't want to stream every evening and I have no time to read, play the guitar, hang out with Zoe, catch up with family" ----busy doing what????????
- Truffle mac and cheese for dinner ---obviously bought
- Zoe is wearing his tit merch, she must truely love him lol
- They did the challenge when your partner goes over your shoulder then through you legs (basically all around the body) -- Alfie "I am scared for you gorgeous, you grabbing my dick" -- Zoe "I'm sorry" [most action they have had in a while]
- Alfie mentioned getting a French Bull Dog -- can commit to another dog, but no kids? loool
- Alfie said he likes kissing Nalas cheek, and Zoe had to say "Is my butt cheek as hairy as that when you kiss it" --- They really are just brother and sister
Bloody check = 2
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