Alfie Deyes #8 Condom hat, kendama twat

[sonnenschein8]

Also, him saying in that caption "The FIRST time ever in my life working out and eating clean for 3 months straight" confirms our theory that he gave up with the 90 day challenge - even though he tried to bullshit his way out of it and claim he "completed it" despite the lack of any before and after/progress pics....

 

[Youtubegossip]

It wasn’t what he said (just was talking about how everyone should pay their freelancers in the current situation). It’s just the way he slaps his hand and shouts at the camera like Gordon Ramsey

Like the girl that spent ages making him that ship thing and he said he might get her in for a free internship?
Alfie deyes who pays people with exposure. Is this the alfie deyes thats now telling people to pay freelancers?

pay your local cafes and small businesses where you and your millionaire girlfriend get free food and drinks in return for exposure Alfie. These small businesses that are going to be hit SUPER hard by lockdowns and isolations... just an idea before you preach

 

[Handwash30]

Precisely. He seems incredibly money motivated and never has he struck me as well meaning or generous. Luckily for us he’s too thick to know how to put on a convincing act so it’s easy to work him out for what he is.

In his live earlier he kept going on about how “it’s not about me” “I don’t benefit, AT AWW!” and really hammering the point home. The knobhead doth protest too much.

 

[Handwash30]

Wowwwwwwwww, I just have to say, I like the cut of your jib

I know this is going back a bit but as if he said vlogmas is a two way effort so he expects everyone to have conversations in the comments. Actually, wanker, you’re the one getting paid so all the effort in fact has to come from you. He’s trying to act like a frigging teacher from school who says stuff like “your learning is your own responsibility/I won’t spoon feed you” etc. Yet he comes across more like a budget holiday rep trying to get reluctant guests to clap along to music round the pool

 

[blurstoftimes]

In his new vid Alf tries to shill his new *not merch* which is a top with the words FUTURES ELF written in an infinite loop...as Alfie says 'the design resembles that you are always working on your future self'...

Um Alfie, the word you're after is 'represents'...SOMEONE SEND THIS FUCKING CLOWN BACK TO SCHOOL. Couldn't watch past that first minute.

 

[Alfies_Boy]

Why is Alfie’s boyfriend on TikTok?? He’s in his 30s he need to get a life.

 

[Rookie]

His insta stories, having a whinge that the storm has blown their outside furniture everywhere and he’ll have to carry them back up the steps!! What a hard life you lead Alfie. Storm also ripped the tarp/sheet he had over his used three times skate ramp. Had a little chuckle. Although the constant “how did that happen?!”
Alfie, mate it was a storm - tends to get a tad windy. That’s probably what happened.

also the STATE of these chairs...spent all that money and don’t even look after them properly.

 

[Handwash30]

LICHERALLY on fireView attachment 70730

Pleased to see that this tragedy is the perfect excuse for him to beg his famous “friends” to promote him and his merch.

 

[Doobots]

How best to fix an issue that is, in part, caused by needless consumerism? More needless consumerism!.

 

[Yel]

Says the multimillionaire that's spent his whole adult life doing shady adverts, ripping off kids and in a relationship with someonelse in order to boost his popularity and therefore income. The guy that's gone though loads of PTs and has a home gym but has never made any gains and always eats precooked quinoa and mash.

 

[Youtubegossip]

As if anyone’s going to track down their car in a car park. Mr and mrs panic button

Sorry, typo Miss Panic button....never gonna be a mrs

 

[Wowwwwwwwww]

LICHERALLY on fire

 

[Rookie]

SIIIIIICK! SAVAGE POSING THERE ALFIE!

 

[Wowwwwwwwww]

Thirst trap for the teenage gals...
Zoe won’t recognise him with his top off though.

 

[Moreteaplease]

No idea if someone has already mentioned this but £55 for one of his bleach hoodies?!??!?? FIFTY FIVE???
Surely not .....

 

[StephenTJackson]

he's only still there because it would take more commitment to getting out of the relationship (commitment to new content that isn't just having Zoë in the thumbnail, to working out how to divide assets etc...) than it does to staying in it !

They only need Nala to die to make it super easy to divide assets. Because if they break up A to Z can simply be wound down, and new personal companies can easily be created for their respective teams to be employed through. Sell the mansion (and the spare house next door), neither are going to want to live their alone. The Range Rover can be sold if that was jointly held. Beyond the dog, there are zero complications to dividing assets, just some paperwork their lawyers will deal with and moving house.

The only reason they stay together is, as you say, the convenience. Not even to do with the complexity of breaking up, just too lazy, too comfortable in their rut to be arsed to change. Because Zoe gets to slob around in the sofa all day, and Alfie gets to pretend his is some sick adventurer with three gifted holidays to interesting places a year, which he manages to make seem as interesting as his Kendama.

They are just too lazy to break up.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Its so awful that even in the midst of such horrible situations we can always count on millionaires to ask other people to donate their money instead donating some of the millions gathering dust in the bank.

So true. Why doesn't he even say for every t shirt sold he will match the cost from his private funds? He actually isn't losing or donating any money personally.

 

[gloriouscheesecake]

The LIES him and Zoe tell so people don't come for them on how many #Gifted products they recieve

View attachment 87533


View attachment 87534

I’m sorry but this has really annoyed me. He can afford to pay for the test and the glasses he DOESNT NEED. He is so thick I just want to slap him into the middle of next year.

 

[Elessar]

Wow, if I was Mini I would be demanding my money back. What a terrible endorsement.

He doesn't actually say a damn thing about the car, just that New York was cool. No actual promotion of the car - he didn't drive it we assume, doesn't say anything good about it, give any reasons someone would buy it.

And then the stats posted below - what is that? It almost feels like Mini gave them the stats and asked them to use them in the post, and Alfie has taken the laziest possible approach by just copying and pasting. It's woeful.

I'd also be livid that his shit brand is getting more prominence than the actual car he's being paid to promote.

Also, I've just endured his vlog from 5 days ago. Listening to him bang on about how unfair it is that if Youtubers take 4 or 6 month break from uploading that it affects the algorithm and viewer rate, and that's their livelihoods blah blah. Does he ever stop and think for one second that in most jobs, you can't just take 4-6 months off and still expect to get paid or have zero impact on your career? It's not even a hard job, or anywhere near a full time one, and he genuinely thinks he needs a break??

He actually thinks he's been 'deep in non stop grind for years'. Holy shit.

Not to mention that he's got his fingers in a bunch of other pies anyway, and anyone who has got rich off YT normally has a load of other ways of making money anyway.

Just so ignorant.

 

[Wowwwwwwwww]

Sitting outside eating his tea at like 10/11pm or whatever. Talking about UFOs and shooting stars.
“It’s so warm outside”

ERM get a life mate. ALSO, It’s probably warm in your garden cos every light is on in your mansion and is radiating heat like a bastard greenhouse.