Alfie Deyes #8 Condom hat, kendama twat

[coconochanel]

HES READY TO BE A DAD because he cooked a cottage pie.
He says Imagine being Pewdiepie and walking down the street and EVERYBODY knows who he is. Not EVERYBODY my aunt doesn't know who he is and I doubt anyone over the age of 30 does.
They order a Nando's and then he says to Zoe 'remember when we used to have Nandos twice a week?' what do you mean USED TO you still bloody do you prat!

 

[Laughingforlife]

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[StephenTJackson]

Twat

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Honestly, I only hate ads when he behaves like a twat and puts some bollocks about it not actually being sponsored or whatever shite he says. Just follow the fucking rules Shergar and stop being such a passive aggressive cunt about being forced to declare your ads properly. Useless sack of shite he is.

 

[coconochanel]

Yes, his content bores me to tears, but he has had actual jobs, has actual skills and when he isn’t playing up to Alfie or Zoe is actually a decent guy I think. I’d go for a drink with him, and I’m sure there wouldn’t be a deck of cards in sight.

Tbh Him and Poppy don't seem to be hanging out with Zoe and Alfie as much as they used to.

 

[Youtubegossip]

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inabber can just fuck off to be honest. He had the chance to call Alfie out and poo’ed himself and backtracked. Big man behind twitter though

I mean so can alfie. But iNapper is just a snivelling wet wipe

 

[Youtubegossip]

He should go and look at what mr beast did. He planted 20million trees through his supporters help. Has been humble about it and made a video thanking everyone that helped with it

No horse laugh, clapping himself, swearing to try and be woke or self congratulating himself. Also, he set up a whole new brand for it, didn’t send traffic to HIS OWN merch store

 

[Wowwwwwwwww]

OK So about his NOT Merch. I just figured out why he wears it all the time, because no one else would buy it so he's had to buy it all and now that's he owns.

Surprised they don’t have Futureself throws and bedding for Zoe to wrap her boring self in.

what the fucking fuck is this

 

[CreepySheepy]

When I saw this yesterday I had this little happy moment and thought "Wow is 2020-Alf gonna be different?"... I was feeling very helpless these past weeks, seeing all the heart-breaking videos and pictures of the fires in Australia. I'm a big animal activist and all those wildlife pictures just destroyed me. So I was really happy to see that even Alfredo wants to help. But then I watched the end of his video where he says:

"I don't know the exact price that it costs to make each garmet yet, because the more units you sell, the more you're buying at once, the cheaper it is per unit. I have no idea how many we're gonna sell right now, so therefore I can't tell you the exact price to tell you the exact profit that's gonna be made to be able to know how much per t-shirt is gonna be donated to charity. But I am making no money from this, 100% of profit is going straight to charity."

I am betting all my money that he never reveals how much was sold and how much money was therefore donated. This is just green washing at its best. I agree with all of you here, he will find out a way to write costs off and label as little as possible as "profit".
There is still the small possibility that he does actually tell us, after the 5 days, how much everything cost and how much donations were raised, but let's be real here - Alfie Deyes is never gonna change.

Its so awful that even in the midst of such horrible situations we can always count on millionaires to ask other people to donate their money instead donating some of the millions gathering dust in the bank.

 

[coconochanel]

In todays vlog he says his coffee tastes funny cause there were 3 milks in the fridge and he wasn't sure which one was new....how about looking at the use by date or taking the lid off and smelling it.

 

[Elessar]

I really can’t see Alfie proposing, even for the likes. He’s just so switched off from the relationship. In his head he’s this super hot, adventurous, cool young guy. He probably doesn’t want to get married for ten years - and to be fair to him, that’s not unusual for a lot of guys. Which is why often, there’s an older man with a younger woman.

Unfortunately for Alfie, Zoe is absolutely desperate to get married and have babies. And she’s older and has a biological clock - she can’t wait ten years. But what’s unfair is that he isn’t being honest with her. He keeps fobbing her off, shutting down the conversation, stringing her along, and keeping her hopes alive with these vague hints and promises.

My ex did similar, and we were together for ten years. Ironically, by the time I broke up with him because I realised the relationship was dead, he had actually bought a ring and planned a proposal.

 

[StephenTJackson]

What’s surprised me the most out of this though is that people would rather pay 25 quid for a hasbeen youtubers white t shirt where the cause will only receive a percentage, than donate cash directly so the cause will receive more. They’re more compelled to donate by a virtue signalling t shirt than the harrowing scenes and details on the news. Just goes to show his followers are just like him, won’t donate unless they get something back to show off how charitable they are.

This, if you’re prepared to spend £25 on a charity t-shirt where the profits go to the charity, just cut the middle man and give the £25 to charity. Just be savage and send it straight to charity, be sick that would.

 

[Youtubegossip]

Why is everything he does so long winded.

a finance meeting with three of them, three laptops and a calculator to work out the profit from those tee shirts.
Work out the profit per teeshirt
Multiply by the amount you sold
Send amount to charity
Show your fans a receipt showing you sent it

shut the fuck up.

takes 5 minutes and no insta story on the working out

 

[StephenTJackson]

Sean as much as he annoys me, has some talent.
Unlike Alfie.
Sean in 2020 stop being a #HoneyCombOntheBrie twat and focus on painting.View attachment 65987

Yes, his content bores me to tears, but he has had actual jobs, has actual skills and when he isn’t playing up to Alfie or Zoe is actually a decent guy I think. I’d go for a drink with him, and I’m sure there wouldn’t be a deck of cards in sight.

 

[thenomad]

The videos aren't SPONSORED?! Really Alfie... So you flew out to NY on your own dime and paid for the current accommodation that you're staying at. Oh wait whats that about Mini? Your fave brand of cars that you don't drive. Something something about sustainability and environmentalism. Sorry I couldn't hear you over all of the single-use plastic you've wasted on this trip and taking Uber everywhere over public transportation. Or at least use a different rideshare app instead of Uber which is facing a lot of criticism (and rightfully so).

Like why does he even mention that the videos are *not* sponsored or that he *ALWAYS* declares his ads. You know because hiding #ad in a corner and in the smallest font ever is how you should be declaring your ads. The most transparent way.

If anyone is in NY and sees Alfie. Please pelt him with some dog to match the bs that is constantly spewing from his mouth.

 

[zarhagoza]

How on earth Alfie’s managed to be in a relationship for 7+ years is beyond me as he literally can’t commit to anything.

he's only still there because it would take more commitment to getting out of the relationship (commitment to new content that isn't just having Zoë in the thumbnail, to working out how to divide assets etc...) than it does to staying in it !

 

[Lola123]

alfalfa is asking for questions for a new Q&A, here are my suggestions:
1. why are you such are a cunt?
2. are you ever going to propose to zoe, if not put her out of her misery bastard
3. you said this was the year of content, do you think you've put out any thing decent you halfwit?
4. why do you think just 2% of your subs are watching your dreadful videos?
5. when are you going to fucking grow up and stop playing with wooden kids toys?
6. why do you ALWAYS taking pictures with your eyes closed or gazing gormlessly into the fucking distance? you look like a total spazz when you do it.
7. when are you going to admit that futurelf is merch and not an unrelated line?
8. how dumb do you think people are?
9. do you really think narlahs cute? cause if you do you're nuts because she looks like a mutant slug.
10. why the fuck are you so fucking stupid?
and finally: why don't you just fade into obscurity and take all your shit with you?

I asked
1) where are the results of the 90 day challenge
2) where is this content from the “year of content”
3) what is more rank, Zoe’s non washed hair, the half pipe or your front door step
EDIT: someone should ask where Morgan is!

 

[GossWhore]

Alfies latest vlog: I CAN'T SHOW YOU YET.....

- Alfie: "The comment section is ridiculous, the most positive lovely space. That's not down to me that's down to you" --- No Alf, its down to the fact you mute "negative" comments

- Alfie: "I feel we are at the peak of the best community we've ever had on YouTube, the views aren't the highest they've because I don't do these crazy challenge videos or clickbait" ----- Title of this video???? Not clickbait

- Alfie: "What I feel was a little, jokey, shitty segment in the vlogs and I rinsed myself being 26 and growing sea monkeys is actually pretty sick" ----- Nah Alf, it's pretty pathetic

- Alfie talking about it being sun and the UK on lockdown "I feel the world is giving us the best weather and thanking us for not driving as much, no flights, not polluting the earth as much as we usually are" --- US? WE? Alf you mean you and your beanie baby loser gang

- He then did the Instagram #Send10 push up challenge. It REALLY annoyed me when he said "its when you see someone on social do 10 pushups you have to" ---- SOCIAL? Is he trying to make that happen? Because its NOT GOING TO HAPPEN

- He did the #Send10 and ask his viewers to send him videos. Pretty pathetic. It shows he knows he doesn't have 10 friends who would do it. They should ignore his shitty DM.

- Mentioned the celebrity Q&As and of course our boy Alfonso had EXCUSES GALORE
"I didn't want to launch it without having a few ready to go"
"I took the weekend off"
"MY DOG ATE ALL MY CELEB FRIENDS" -- OK he didn't say the last, but might as well

- Made a pizza for lunch for Zoe, who as usual IS ILL --- alluding that she might have coronavirus

- He is back on stealing money from his viewers. Tie dying "merch" --- TWAT

- Alfie talking about the fact he and Zoe don't have enough food in the house
"Its midnight and I tried to order a food shop and there's no deliveries for March or April" -- I don't know why this annoyed me, but it did. Is he that far fucking removed he thought he could stroll onto Ocado and Waitrose in the middle of a global fcking PANDEMIC and he would get his honey comb on the bride delivered tomorrow????!!!!


- Alfie talks about his dumb key chain and how other Youtubers are selling merch because "they bring happiness and joy and value"

- He said he was "torn" and said his viewers should comment what he should do. HE KNOWS THEY WILL SAY LAUNCH IT.

 

[thenomad]

it’s because he wears make up/concealer and is crap at blending!

Make-up or not, Alfie is a hard 26 years of age. He doesn't have a particularly taxing lifestyle to have such a weathered face and he hasn't had any dramatic weight loss either--the opposite in fact if we look at his bloated face. Even his sister Poopy doesn't have crows feet yet. Don’t get me wrong Zoe is aging horribly too, her skin looks like it wants to leave her head--that sag is real.

They're both aging like milk.

Can someone please photoshop Nala tossing herself over the fence? I can only imagine it's her dream to escape her lazy ass owners

As you wish! (Please excuse my low effort ps skills. I put the same effort in as Zoe does for her Vlogmas)

 

[tada]

Wear the shit you already own 

 

[Youtubegossip]

Joe Dianne and Zoe in the gym this morning. They film asking where Alfie is and he rocks up late, with a grin on his face saying he’s tired.

I bet it was him who suggested the early morning gym sesh to impress Dianne in the first place. Grade A wanker