Alfie Deyes #7 Joe Sugg's sister's boyfriend/housemate

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Jesus Alf. Maybe try and smile? Properly. And try to look interested in the photo because in this one you look fake as duck. Oh yes, do try and open your eyes too. That would be useful... šŸ™„
 
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Jesus Alf. Maybe try and smile? Properly. And try to look interested in the photo because in this one you look fake as duck. Oh yes, do try and open your eyes too. That would be useful... šŸ™„
It's easier to fake being in love when your eyes are closed than it being open. Also, Alfie doing his usual side angle pose again. I'm guessing he thinks this is his good side. He doesn't have any but you know how delusional the entire lot is so...

Hello crows feet. But guys he's ONLY 26.
 
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In his vlog, and in Zoeā€™s today, he was so disengaged from everything she said, all day. And in hers, he had a complete huff and stormed off giving her the finger because she was teasing him about some puzzle sheā€™d done that he hadnā€™t. She was ā€˜secretlyā€™ filming - I think that says a lot about what heā€™s like off camera, even though heā€™s pretty awful on camera!
 
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Alfieā€™s Vlogmas Watching the Sunset Together (Day 4)

He rambles about working out with a personal trainer... weā€™ve heard this before. He says heā€™s trying to put on a ton of ā€œ...mass preferably muscleā€. So heā€™s been eating a lot. Weā€™ve all heard this before last year and he didnā€™t have any visible results so everyone keep your expectations low. Plus their not-mansion is filled with sweets and junk food. You know heā€™s not eating clean.

Alfie is in his ā€˜environmentally friendlyā€™ SUV and talking about how beautiful it is outside but that itā€™s also freezing outside. He says this as heā€™s in his hoodie, joggers, and NO coat during winter. Gee I wonder why heā€™s so cold... He then answers Zoeā€™s call and she says on the phone ā€œSorry I missed your call I was out walking Nala.ā€ šŸ˜‚ As if Zoe actually left the house much less walked Nala.

I also hate that Alfieā€™s new word is banging. Heā€™s been using it quite a bit. I just canā€™t.

He still mentions Futureā€™s Elf in every Vlogmas to date and this time is no different. He mentions his ugly cap with an F on it which was a sample. Yes, F for the design.

Now heā€™s met up with Zoe and theyā€™re walking on the beach. Alfie says he needs to say something. Zoe says cheekily ā€œthat I am beautiful?ā€ And instead Alfie says ā€œthat Iā€™m so lucky to live in Brightonā€. Itā€™s too hard for Elf to give a compliment.

They meet up with Zach and Sean and grab a bite to eat. They choose super healthy foods like a slice pizza and a brownie. You know after that whole spiel in the beginning of his vlog about working out and working with a PT, this makes perfect sense...

Itā€™s now in the evening and Alfie talks about how he had plans to meet his school friends for bowling and is leaning towards staying home instead. He talks about how all his friends have very different careers and lives and how mind blowing that is. That theyā€™re not uselessly leeching onto their girlfriend for a ā€˜careerā€™. Then he talks about how everyone is building their family but quickly back tracks the family bit and that none of his closest friends have kids yet except one. Close call Alfie with Zoe there in the room...

Then Zoe puts booties (that she bought with a gift voucher from Homesense) on Nala who looks absolutely miserable as always. Alfie acts like he feels bad for Nala but also does nothing to stop the torture.

Yes, banging is so annoying
 
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In his vlog, and in Zoeā€™s today, he was so disengaged from everything she said, all day. And in hers, he had a complete huff and stormed off giving her the finger because she was teasing him about some puzzle sheā€™d done that he hadnā€™t. She was ā€˜secretlyā€™ filming - I think that says a lot about what heā€™s like off camera, even though heā€™s pretty awful on camera!
Yes thatā€™s basicaly what I was going to say.
Watching them interact at the Range Rover place for instance reminded me so much of middle aged couples Iā€™d see when I was a waitress. Couples who were clearly sick of the sight of one another, had nothing of value to say were just going through the motions. Possibly one half was already several years into an affair at work too.(Though at the same time Alfie reminded me of a kid you see in a waiting room or restraunt with his favourite toy to keep him quiet).

Zalfie have spent far too much of their twenties in its each otherā€™s company. Living and ā€˜workingā€™ and not working together. The only time their conversation had energy was bitching about copyright restrictions , they still have that kind of passive aggressive moaning in common.
 
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Also - they manage to arrive at the snowboarding place only an hour before it closes. Then are pissed off that it still costs the same?

Alfie has just woken from a nap in the passenger seat of his car... so he didnā€™t even drive his own car there?

And finally, he complains that he canā€™t bring his snowboard, because he ā€˜canā€™t fit itā€™ in the car. Really?! A snowboard wonā€™t fit into a Range Rover? He makes some half arsed attempts to get it in the boot and gives up. And now he will have to rent one, boo hoo
How are they so surprised everytime they arrive late/too late to do something- still

I will say that parts of Alfie's vlog were montaged and they were actually not unbearably horrible to watch. So he does it exists and know how to do it. Does he just choose to yammer all the time instead because he thinks it's better, is he too lazy, or does he exclude them because he wants longer videos for watch time?
 
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Yes, banging is so annoying
I hate it so much. It's his word of the moment. He keeps using it in Vlogmas and it's like nails on a chalkboard.

It's like in Mean Girls when Gretchen was trying to make fetch happen.
Alfie.gif
 
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He says ridiculous as well. To describe something he likes or something pleasant. I hate it. So. Much.
Ugh, too right. Alfieā€™s grasp of English appalling. Something thatā€™s driven me mad for years is his unnecessary attatchment of ā€œupā€ to activities. ā€œCooking up some pastaā€ ā€œEditing up some videos.ā€
It always sounds weirdly childish to me, like how someone might talk to a kid and I find it incredibly annoying.
 
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Ugh, too right. Alfieā€™s grasp of English appalling. Something thatā€™s driven me mad for years is his unnecessary attatchment of ā€œupā€ to activities. ā€œCooking up some pastaā€ ā€œEditing up some videos.ā€
It always sounds weirdly childish to me, like how someone might talk to a kid and I find it incredibly annoying.
I think heā€™s at the top of my hate watch list now. Zoe second. Peter Monn third.
 
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You can see their numberplate in his latest video... It ends with WTF :rolleyes:

I swear they used to be so careful with not showing/blurring out stuff like that?
 
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Who is peter monn? Dare i ask ...
Donā€™t ask or watch him. Hahahahah.
Heā€™s a Youtuber who classified as a ā€œdrama channelā€ - I watch him cos he covers some of my fave Youtubers in the beauty community (He does have a vlog, A ā€œPeterismā€, a book tube and a review channel too!)
 
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You can see their numberplate in his latest video... It ends with WTF :rolleyes:

I swear they used to be so careful with not showing/blurring out stuff like that?
It must be personalised right ? Christ.
forget privacy and safety, if you have a personalised number plate that cringey you should really be keeping it to yourself. Though then whatā€™s the point of getting one ?.... they donā€™t call it a ā€˜vanity plateā€™ for nothing...
 
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Do they sleep in seperate rooms? He said that zoe called him at 7am to look at the sunrise, but they were both at home ??
 
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Catching up, why does Alfie say ā€œhis cctv teamā€ are looking at the footage their camera picked up of the burglar? Surely itā€™s just the employees of the home security company or whatever? Whyā€™s he gotta make it sound like he has an entire unit of secret service agents dedicated to his security, like a member of the royal family? Any excuse to make himself sound important. šŸ™„
 
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