I wondered that too. I looked on his fb but it hasn't been updated fo ryears.
Alfie Deyes #6 Engaged, "We're not in any rush for that"
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- 5 sec in and I knew a video recap was needed due to the cringe factor -- "Cooking with Zoe & Alfie" more like "Zoe needs to relaunch her dead blog and we need to rekindle our dead relationship" (He even tried to do it all Emma Chamberlain/Tana Mongeau style)
- Alfie: "Get a big old cabbageeoooh and give it a choparoo" -- Can he not talk like an adult??????
- Alfie: "Theres quite a lot of components to this meal" --- literally VEG
- As I said this cooking segment was all for Zoe "relaunch"
Alfie: "When is the relaunch"?
Zoe: "Hopefully end of this month" (we believe you Zoe lol)
- Alfie: "When I said cooking with Alfie & Zoe. I meant Zoe" --- but it's all about the views..Ammarrite?
-Alfie: **puts oil in pan** "Jamie Oliver if you're watching hope you're proud. Jamie released a new book. If you haven't checked it. Which I haven't. I did message him I'm gonna get one over the weekend" --- How can he tell everyone to get a book he will probably get gifted hence why he hasn't purchased one
- Alfie: I am really getting into cooking
Zoe face [emoji23] like "witch what"?
- Zoe: It depends on your idea of cooking.
Alfie: You don't cook, but I do
Zoe: **laughs*** You put meat balls in a frying pan
Alfie: Maybe not from scratch. But cooking meals. Like veggies, pasta with chicken..chicken with quinoa and vegetables (In everything he listed the only thing that really entails cooking is chicken and he never seasonal his chicken apart from that ghastly Nando peri peri bs. So NO YOU DON'T COOK)
-Also everything he listed is what everyone learnt at age 18 not bleeping 25
- He starts on his bs "30 days of future self" crap
His list was so basic, like a child
Alfie list
- I want to go to bed at 11pm
- I want to wake up at 6.30am
- I want to read more books
- I want to cook more
- I want to work out more: at least 5 hours week
- I want to film more regular videos (ahh the year of "content")
- They made Poppy come round to bring avocado for the taco AND MOST IMPORTANTLY so they don't have to be alone #RelationshipGoalzzz
- Looking at that seasonless veggie taco made me so upset [emoji23]
- Alfie then proceeds to show his adolescent audience the wine he bought and added "Holy tit that's strong" to cement he's an ADUuLT gUYZzzzz
OMG Hahahahahaha living for this commentary
'Read more books'??? 
Read A book would be a start. Alfie all inspired is such a tiresome thing.
Read A book would be a start. Alfie all inspired is such a tiresome thing.
This was brilliant!! [emoji23][emoji23][emoji119][emoji119] Subscribing to this thread even though I've never watched a single video of his, purely for your video recaps!!
my god that cooking video. i'm his age and it struck me that i dated guys when i was 17 who were more mature and more capable of cooking than him 
zoe ur so lucky
zoe ur so lucky
I lasted 2 minutes. I watch some amount of shite but that voice is like nails on a chalkboard, add desperate Zo into the mix I’m out.
No doubt il go back, I’m a sucker for punishment but I struggled through a 40 minute Zoe vlog. I’ve done my penance for the week
No doubt il go back, I’m a sucker for punishment but I struggled through a 40 minute Zoe vlog. I’ve done my penance for the week
I may have missed it here, but has anyone addressed the fact in Zoe's latest vlog that he made his side of the bed and left her side (48:24)? Or was she covering up the fact/telling everyone that he doesn't sleep in the same bed....
Alfie's reading list
I just finished watching Alfie's last vlog and it really irritates me how little he does with his life. Personally, I really like cooking since I was a child. I did not want to study gastronomy because in my country it is not a viable career, even when Mexican food is emblematic, but I am the type of person who loves to receive people who love with food, and beers or wine when they visit me in my mini department . Sounds stupid and personal, but the fact that you don't know about wines when you're "interested in food and beverage issues" is frustrating. Alfredo can take the marinating courses he wants, the courses he wants for food, money is not an impediment for him. He is the only one who puts obstacles in everything. He bought a bottle of wine, which was probably expensive, simply because he liked the logo and the shape of the bottle ... Really, I am surprised how uneducated and the low ambition them two have, and it is not because an expert, but because they do not seek to delve into anything, they touch everything superficially. I am angry at the amount of money they have for what little they do.
i agree. i think i'm so beyond wishing they'd do good with their money and give back, i'd honestly be satisfied if they at least just enjoyed the money they have and the life it allows them to live. but no these two sad sacks just sit around eating plain chicken with quinoa and playing cards. absolutely depressing.
Isn't he always on about using less plastic? Literally every single thing for his breakfast is wrapped in useless, single-use plastic. Just buy some fruit and press your own bleeping juice ffs! It's astonishing how much tit he talks and how little he actually does. And he keeps on getting away with it! Unbelievable.
So this cooking vlog... this is their attempt to copy Joe and Dianne, right? Cos anything they can do....?
Except they don’t have the personalities....
Except they don’t have the personalities....
Alfie's using Zoe for the views 
God he’s so lazy... he’s not even doing an cooking...! What the hell does she see in him as he absolutely does not seem to have any useful or endearing qualities... AT ALL!
“I’m the worst at remembering to put stuff in the description box..”
No, Alfie, it’s not about remembering, it’s that you can’t be arsed. Like with everything you do.
“I’m the worst at remembering to put stuff in the description box..”
No, Alfie, it’s not about remembering, it’s that you can’t be arsed. Like with everything you do.
duck sake pals, I watched his latest vlog. I shouldn’t have. I’m even more annoyed. He’s an absolute BELL. Just a pure twit.
I stay away from his vlogs cause I know they annoy me so much! Also, about 12 minutes of my life I'll never get back!
He’s so insufferable. Honestly. He shortened words and made me die with the futureself drivvvvvvelI stay away from his vlogs cause I know they annoy me so much! Also, about 12 minutes of my life I'll never get back!
Him shortening words is one of the most annoying things about him!
None of them can speak like adults! - Status