It definitely does sound like it could be. Grief is a funny old thing. You think you’re ok then all of a sudden it hits when you least expect it. With something as traumatic as what you’ve been through I suppose it’s tempting to sit and try and unpick, question and then make sense of it all when the reality is it makes it so much harder to process and try and heal from. Sending you lots of love and good vibes and I really do hope it starts to get better for you xx
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Jessica Taylor Exposed - Her company WhatsApp group spoke about posting poo to a CSA survivor and threatened employees with taking their entire assets if they whistleblew. The not-a-medical-doctor refused to give any evidence for any of her claims and has an extensive history of falsely reporting vulnerable women that speak up to the police for stalking and harassment. Listen now!
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So true! Especially tempting when due to lockdown and being on furlough there’s nothing else to do but think
Aw thank you so much you are so lovely, sending lots of love to you too 
Really thought some headway was being made with my ex. He has been attending therapy (although she said she thought he wasn't an alcoholic) and has been much more pleasant to be around.
We are due to complete on our house sale in the next week or two, which has dragged on since July. His new attitude has made me consider thinking about working things out with him until this week. Every time I've been around, beer cans and bottles are on the sides and he has quite clearly had a drink most evenings - probably to cope with the upcoming move.
We've had a really pleasant day taking stuff to the tip and getting on really well and he text me this evening, drunk, asking about our future. I told him, as he has said many times before, that he needs to change for himself and not a relationship. He told me I was patronising, that he doesn't tell me I'm large and that I need to lose weight for myself. He's continued to text me saying he has a point and what he said is true and I feel like an absolute mug for even considering something has changed.
I just needed somewhere to write this down because I hadn't told any family and friends I was considering trying again so they wouldn't be very happy with me. He is so charming whilst sober but an absolute hole drunk and I don't think it will ever change.
We are due to complete on our house sale in the next week or two, which has dragged on since July. His new attitude has made me consider thinking about working things out with him until this week. Every time I've been around, beer cans and bottles are on the sides and he has quite clearly had a drink most evenings - probably to cope with the upcoming move.
We've had a really pleasant day taking stuff to the tip and getting on really well and he text me this evening, drunk, asking about our future. I told him, as he has said many times before, that he needs to change for himself and not a relationship. He told me I was patronising, that he doesn't tell me I'm large and that I need to lose weight for myself. He's continued to text me saying he has a point and what he said is true and I feel like an absolute mug for even considering something has changed.
I just needed somewhere to write this down because I hadn't told any family and friends I was considering trying again so they wouldn't be very happy with me. He is so charming whilst sober but an absolute hole drunk and I don't think it will ever change.
I’m sorry you’ve been through this, I’m sure you feel really duped by his recent behaviour. Hopefully once the house move goes through you’ll have more reason to distance yourself from him x
My heart goes out to you xz
So sorry to read this. Sometimes with alcoholics it's the hope that gets you, when you realise they aren't changing thier ways it's so heartbreaking.
I have everything crossed for your house move and I hope you have lots of things to keep you busy and distracted from over thinking this xxx
Sorry guys its me again. I try to not air the "dirty laundry" on here, but I do need to vent. My husband is an alcoholic in recovery. Hidden alcohol around the house etc, all mentioned before. He religiously goes to his AA meetings and I am (were) proud of him. A few months ago he started taking weed to sleep at night. Since then i think it has become a problem (cross addiction). At least i don't get the nasty, horrible side of him resulting from alcohol. Last night i asked him did you take weed, he looked straight into my eyes and said no. His behaviour clearly showed me that he is stoned. This morning i confronted him about it and said i am upset because i thought he stopped lying to me and he said he didnt - he just forgot that he had weed. I dont have in me to deal with his addiction any longer. It has been 10 years of tears, of secrecy and me not sharing it with any of my friends or family. Driving to work this morning, i just started crying, but had to control myself as i have an important meeting and didn't want my client to see that i am a wreck. I have begged, i tried tough love, i have forgiven and supported, i dont know what else to do. We have such a beautiful love story and a lifestyle that i am very greatfull for but this ONE thing just F*cks everything up. In my heart i know i no longer trust or respect him. Its like i am living my life holding my breath waiting for the next big incident to happen and that is no life.
Oh Annie I’m so sorry to hear this. While it’s great that he is doing well with the alcohol, but swapping one addiction for another just puts you back at square one really. X
being brutally honest, living with an addict is like being an extra in a movie. The addict is the main character and you lose yourself that you become that extra on the side that no one notice. I believe for the first time today, that it has damaged me and its like a dark cloud hanging over me, and my thoughts scares me as i am just looking for an easy way out.
I am so sorry to hear this for you and it must be incredibly hard watching your marriage be lost to something like addiction - it’s so out of your control and completely unfair. It sounds like you have really tried but you have to take a step back and think at what cost? You cannot allow this to ruin your life too. Why should it start to impact your career, your mental health when you have tried hard to be patient, supportive and understanding. If he won’t change then this will be a vicious cycle. It’s hard because I know this is probably something he can’t help but walking away is perhaps something you need to do in order to protect yourself x
The analogy is bang on, you feel like you don't exist sometimes and you are just in the shadow of the addict. Everyone gives them the attention and you feel like you are invisible sometimes.
I'm so sorry you are faced with another addiction from your husband. Its awful that you had the hope he had beat the alcohol and he has now begun abusing another substance.
Your post suggests you are really low and struggling. Is there anyone you can talk to? Your parents or a close friend who knows the situation? Sometimes a good vent really helps. Or feel free to rant away to us on here. It does sound like you really need to take a step back and assess what you want. Perhaps a break or walking away is what you need xxxx
I love to see positive stories but that person has to want to. So happy for your husband! & you!
Yes he took a long time to want to do it!! Yes both delighted. Lots of people don’t see what damage alcohol does to those around you never mind themselves
My friend had another bad patch. She downed a whole bottle of JD on her own on snapchat and then proceeded to drink more. She's so lucky she didn't get alcohol poisoning. She ended up passed out on the kitchen floor, spoke to her the next day and she's been doing better since. Nowhere near where I hope she'll get too, but relapse is part of recovery.
It's difficult. I love her to death we've been friends for so so long and I think the world of her. To see her wasting her life away like this is so sad. We're trying to push her in better directions, being out of work so long isn't helping either. We'll see, but addiction is tough.
It's difficult. I love her to death we've been friends for so so long and I think the world of her. To see her wasting her life away like this is so sad. We're trying to push her in better directions, being out of work so long isn't helping either. We'll see, but addiction is tough.
Addiction is tough for loved ones too. You are such a wonderful friend, she’s so lucky to have you. And hopefully she finds the will to do the hard work.
Speaking as someone who's Dad was an total alcoholic and all I ever knew was him drunk, what I would strongly advise with anyone who is struggling badly with a partner with it is to leave them. I've said it before on here, then if they chose to stop drinking and address their issues etc you can look at things again if you wish to do so. Don't be wasting your life with someone who is a drunk and all that comes with this.
I just saw your post and thought it might help to hear my story. Hubby we always a social drinker but in 2000 he was moved with his job as a postman to a posting on our home town which seemed great but it led to a spiral downward as he had trouble at work with various people as he was senior to them and it caused a problem. His drinking and blood pressure increased and eventually he was pensioned off on sick leave. He got a really nice job in a nearby public school
As a steward but again the drinking killed it. After a few agency jobs he started blacking out and vomiting up blood. We had a large mortgage and a lot of debt. In 2008 I finally had enough and moved out with my teenage daughter to my sisters and told him to sort himself out or that was it. With my help we found him a flat nearby and he moved out. He joined AA and never drank again. Was scary at first wondering if he would relapse but maybe because I wasn’t in his ear nagging him he stuck with it. He moved into a small cottage and gradually rebuilt his relationship with his children and his parents ( he looked after both of them brilliantly for a few years before they passed way )
Fast forward to 2017 and he moved back in with me ( he has a man cave with all mod cons - his inheritance paid for it and we have seperate bedrooms)
We have no debt and get along fine. He realises that if he did lapse he would not see his children or grandchildren again. Even losing his parents and brother in quick succession did not phase him. He is very careful not to take anything stronger than a paracetamol as he doesn’t want a new problem . However he has a strong sugar addiction !!
It might seem insurmountable but you have to just think of yourself . I realised I enabled him for years and have a lot of guilt for my children
Please take care and I hope it gets better
I hope so, she has so much potential she just doesn't realise it. Her family don't help either, they just built a bar in their garden!
Thank you. I try my best, it is quite draining though at times.
Hi everyone
Some heartbreaking stories here
I posted earlier on this thread about my husband. He’s an alcoholic but denies it. Drinks 300ml minimum vodka a day often more/ other drinks. He is adamant this is normal and I’m judgemental.
There has been wbusive incidents in the past when he’s drunk I’m not going to lie but mostly he’s just annoying, talking rubbish and generally drunk
Very much functional has a really good job. No one would believe me.
I was all set to leave last year but doubting myself now. Am I being controlling? Is it me?!
Some heartbreaking stories here
I posted earlier on this thread about my husband. He’s an alcoholic but denies it. Drinks 300ml minimum vodka a day often more/ other drinks. He is adamant this is normal and I’m judgemental.
There has been wbusive incidents in the past when he’s drunk I’m not going to lie but mostly he’s just annoying, talking rubbish and generally drunk
Very much functional has a really good job. No one would believe me.
I was all set to leave last year but doubting myself now. Am I being controlling? Is it me?!