Alcoholism

[Curly Top]

Thank you for your reply. I too was able to keep it low-key for ages, because surprisingly I could force myself out of bed on time the next day and no one was any the wiser that I’d drank loads the night before. In a way it’s more dangerous as it will take people longer to notice something is wrong, by then it could be too late.

For me my breaking point was being spiked on a night out and I’m very surprised to this day something seriously bad didn’t happen to me that night. I was literally walking (well, stumbling) the streets with my friend who also had been drugged. Many people walked by and it wouldn’t have taken much for us to be dragged away or mugged. I realised that night alcohol was seriously damaging my life, albeit I was able to keep it hidden. I had plenty of distraction during the day at uni, but then by night I was alone with my thoughts and mental illnesses. I was overwhelming anxious all the time, and verging on needing to seek medical advice.

Although the night I was spiked was easily one of the most terrifying nights of my life, it made me wake up and realise, that alcohol is a temporary high with massive lows. It’s really not worth it anymore. I know being 20 and a uni student I’m expected to just binge drink and not get questioned, but I feel if I were to return to a nightclub and get back into that lifestyle, I would very easily fall deeper than I have ever before.

I too am jealous of people who can just have “one drink” and be done. I would need about 4 to even feel remotely anything.

Thank goodness you didn't come to any harm. What a terrible thing to do you! At least it forced a change for your benefit.

It's great you are so young - you will reap major rewards from this experience and knowledge.

I’ve never written this down before. On paper I have a serious alcohol problem but I just can’t stop as I need that final kick up the a.
My problem is that I don’t wake up with hangovers, don’t embarrass myself, manage to do my full time job fine and it doesn’t give me anxiety or other issues with my personality. Therefore, I confess that I still love it. I love the feeling of the first drink and how relaxed I feel as the night wears on. I completely accept I’m ruining my health and can’t carry on like this.
I follow several sober accounts on Instagram which are really interesting but they all talk about the dread of waking up the next day and using alcohol to mask insecurity whereas I just like it and wake up ok. Herein lies my problem.
I’m wondering if I should pay for a liver scan to scare me.
Any non-judgemental advice much appreciated.

This is a very hard question to answer. You, in common with many people in the UK, sound like a high-functioning alcoholic. You are honest enough to admit that you love alcohol for its own sake and don't suffer any ill effects.

If you had a liver function test I doubt it would indicate a serious problem as the organ is notoriously forgiving. It takes decades of hard drinking to show major damage. This is the insidious danger of alcohol. Once something like cirrhosis is discovered, the individual is often dangerously addicted and will have a huge problem giving up.

I'm sure you know already the bad effects of alcohol on every organ in the body. I agree entirely that if there are no problems and you are enjoying it and can afford it then it's tempting to continue. This, I think, is why so many people get into trouble. It takes a while for issues to emerge. Tolerance for alcohol increases over time and the drinker gradually needs more and more to reach the same levels of enjoyment.

In addition, particularly in the UK, alcohol is seen as the panacea for all ills - a way to celebrate, to reward yourself for a bad day, a pick-you-up for almost any occasion. Giving up, you may be seen as a bit of a bore. "Have just one, don't be a party pooper". This is often because alcohol dependence is so widespread other drinkers don't like to be reminded of their own issues or be thought to be judged by someone in their circle giving it up.

All I can say is that if you cut down you are likely to reap some major benefits. You will certainly save money, lose weight (unless you swap booze for chocolate), have clearer more hydrated skin, more energy and lose that nagging feeling at the back of your mind that you are storing up trouble for yourself sometime in the future.

 

[Definitelyme]

I’ve never written this down before. On paper I have a serious alcohol problem but I just can’t stop as I need that final kick up the a.
My problem is that I don’t wake up with hangovers, don’t embarrass myself, manage to do my full time job fine and it doesn’t give me anxiety or other issues with my personality. Therefore, I confess that I still love it. I love the feeling of the first drink and how relaxed I feel as the night wears on. I completely accept I’m ruining my health and can’t carry on like this.
I follow several sober accounts on Instagram which are really interesting but they all talk about the dread of waking up the next day and using alcohol to mask insecurity whereas I just like it and wake up ok. Herein lies my problem.
I’m wondering if I should pay for a liver scan to scare me.
Any non-judgemental advice much appreciated.

I think it’s an incredible first step for you to know that your drinking isn’t quite right, despite the fact you aren’t suffering any real ill effects from it. That says a lot about where you are mentally, that you are ready to accept that drinking is a problem for you. It’s an amazing start, and you should be immensely proud that you are there. So many people on here wish their loved one were as clued in as you are.

My mum is a high functioning alcoholic, like yourself. I found it incredible when I went to open AA meetings hearing about the destruction caused by others drinking, as it wasn’t like that in our house at all. But the damage my mum did has actually been to her loved ones. It’s not major - except for with my dad - but for the rest of us it’s small things that change when she is drunk that make it just awful to be around and know about.

Does your behaviour change when drunk? Are there people around you who may be unhappy with the way you behave and treat them when you are drunk? Could your thoughts for them be the kick towards sobriety you need?

If you are happy to, you could contact AA. I believe meetings are exempt from lockdown rules (as long as social distancing etc is followed) and I am sure they have much better advice for you. But I think you are on the right track

 

[theghosttown]

I’ve never written this down before. On paper I have a serious alcohol problem but I just can’t stop as I need that final kick up the a.
My problem is that I don’t wake up with hangovers, don’t embarrass myself, manage to do my full time job fine and it doesn’t give me anxiety or other issues with my personality. Therefore, I confess that I still love it. I love the feeling of the first drink and how relaxed I feel as the night wears on. I completely accept I’m ruining my health and can’t carry on like this.
I follow several sober accounts on Instagram which are really interesting but they all talk about the dread of waking up the next day and using alcohol to mask insecurity whereas I just like it and wake up ok. Herein lies my problem.
I’m wondering if I should pay for a liver scan to scare me.
Any non-judgemental advice much appreciated.

One thing that really freaked me out was taking one of this online quizzes to gauge your alcohol score. My drinking risk is something like 9/12. I am a huge binge drinker. The thing is a liver scan could potentially have an adverse affect. If you actually have a healthy, functioning liver it may encourage you to continue. How much would you say you’re consuming. Is it more then quantity or how frequent it is?

Thank goodness you didn't come to any harm. What a terrible thing to do you! At least it forced a change for your benefit.

It's great you are so young - you will reap major rewards from this experience and knowledge.



This is a very hard question to answer. You, in common with many people in the UK, sound like a high-functioning alcoholic. You are honest enough to admit that you love alcohol for its own sake and don't suffer any ill effects.

If you had a liver function test I doubt it would indicate a serious problem as the organ is notoriously forgiving. It takes decades of hard drinking to show major damage. This is the insidious danger of alcohol. Once something like cirrhosis is discovered, the individual is often dangerously addicted and will have a huge problem giving up.

I'm sure you know already the bad effects of alcohol on every organ in the body. I agree entirely that if there are no problems and you are enjoying it and can afford it then it's tempting to continue. This, I think, is why so many people get into trouble. It takes a while for issues to emerge. Tolerance for alcohol increases over time and the drinker gradually needs more and more to reach the same levels of enjoyment.

In addition, particularly in the UK, alcohol is seen as the panacea for all ills - a way to celebrate, to reward yourself for a bad day, a pick-you-up for almost any occasion. Giving up, you may be seen as a bit of a bore. "Have just one, don't be a party pooper". This is often because alcohol dependence is so widespread other drinkers don't like to be reminded of their own issues or be thought to be judged by someone in their circle giving it up.

All I can say is that if you cut down you are likely to reap some major benefits. You will certainly save money, lose weight (unless you swap booze for chocolate), have clearer more hydrated skin, more energy and lose that nagging feeling at the back of your mind that you are storing up trouble for yourself sometime in the future.

I could read your posts all day. You write so eloquently and put everything across so well. Everything you say is so true, you’ve just said it a million times better than I could.

 

[iloveanimals]

For anybody struggling, there is a forum called brighteye, its supportive and for anybody . You dont have to be a hardcore alcoholic.

 

[petitspois]

For anybody struggling, there is a forum called brighteye, its supportive and for anybody . You dont have to be a hardcore alcoholic.

I just had a quick look and it does look good actually, thank you. I do have the Watership Down song in my head now though.

 

[iloveanimals]

I just had a quick look and it does look good actually, thank you. I do have the Watership Down song in my head now though.

good luck in your endeavours xx

 

[Definitelyme]

Hope everyone is doing well x

 

[37BBL]

Just a quick one to say I hope you are all well and managing during this lockdown.
Sending support to those who need it x

 

[Mulholland Drive]

I am climbing the walls desperate for a drink at the moment
There's a alcohol prohibition on the buying and selling of alcohol here in South Africa, which has been in place since December 31st. It was due to be lifted on the 15th of Jan, but our president decided to extend the ban indefinitely.

As a consequence, us alcoholics have been left to fend for ourselves, and 2 weeks ago I was arrested, charged and fined for trying to buy illicit alcohol from a street vendor.

I was hoping to return to England last weekend, not least to be able to drink wine with relative impunity, but my flight was cancelled at the last minute. I have rebooked, but we're looking at next Saturday now.

Am having constant arguments with my parents, along with lots of mood swings. Right now, my mood is incredibly negative, and I just feel like telling the world to go duck itself.

Politicians are bleeps. They just don't see the bigger picture.

Sorry

 

[mochibean]

My friend has made a positive change, I'm beyond surprised. She let go of the girl and is now working on letting go of the drink and drugs.
Of course it's going to be hard but I'm proud of her right now.

 

[Definitelyme]

My friend has made a positive change, I'm beyond surprised. She let go of the girl and is now working on letting go of the drink and drugs.
Of course it's going to be hard but I'm proud of her right now.

That is such wonderful news. Very pleased to hear that, for both of you. X

 

[mochibean]

That is such wonderful news. Very pleased to hear that, for both of you. X

Thank you so much!
I was on the verge of giving up, I felt powerless to help her.
I'm glad she's made the decision to try to quit and seek support.

 

[Definitelyme]

Thank you so much!
I was on the verge of giving up, I felt powerless to help her.
I'm glad she's made the decision to try to quit and seek support.

That decision coming from her is so huge! I hope it turns out the very best for her.

 

[theghosttown]

I am climbing the walls desperate for a drink at the moment
There's a alcohol prohibition on the buying and selling of alcohol here in South Africa, which has been in place since December 31st. It was due to be lifted on the 15th of Jan, but our president decided to extend the ban indefinitely.

As a consequence, us alcoholics have been left to fend for ourselves, and 2 weeks ago I was arrested, charged and fined for trying to buy illicit alcohol from a street vendor.

I was hoping to return to England last weekend, not least to be able to drink wine with relative impunity, but my flight was cancelled at the last minute. I have rebooked, but we're looking at next Saturday now.

Am having constant arguments with my parents, along with lots of mood swings. Right now, my mood is incredibly negative, and I just feel like telling the world to go duck itself.

Politicians are bleeps. They just don't see the bigger picture.

Sorry

Have you found the reduction in alcohol has helped you at all? Or do you feel in a position to cut down having managed to reduce so massively x

 

[lozzapaloozza]

It’s 2am here and it may sound random to everyone here but all of a sudden I just can’t understand something. November 2019 was the last time I saw my mum before she died in January 2020. It was my boyfriends birthday and she was “fine”, as in she was leaving the house to come see us and could talk to us. And then not even 2 months later she’s gone it’s just mindblowing how quick things can change. I hate going to sleep because it’s always night time when I start to think about horrible stuff and then can’t sleep so end up going on my phone to take my mind off it. I don’t even know what the point of this ramble was but here it is!

 

[Mememe9]

It’s 2am here and it may sound random to everyone here but all of a sudden I just can’t understand something. November 2019 was the last time I saw my mum before she died in January 2020. It was my boyfriends birthday and she was “fine”, as in she was leaving the house to come see us and could talk to us. And then not even 2 months later she’s gone it’s just mindblowing how quick things can change. I hate going to sleep because it’s always night time when I start to think about horrible stuff and then can’t sleep so end up going on my phone to take my mind off it. I don’t even know what the point of this ramble was but here it is!

Good on you for posting. But you don’t mention what happened? Don’t be afraid we are here to support you

 

[theghosttown]

Good on you for posting. But you don’t mention what happened? Don’t be afraid we are here to support you

I echo this posters sentiments. If it becomes more frequent then I would definitely look at grief counselling. I think as humans we always want answers to questions to help out our minds at ease. Sometimes we will never get those answers and it just ends up consuming us. It’s so good you can talk and vent x

 

[Definitelyme]

@lozzapaloozza i don’t have anything that can help you really, but sending you lots of love. I’m sorry it’s a tough time for you at the minute xx

 

[theghosttown]

Sorry I posted a while ago haha. Long story short my mum was an alcohoic for a long time, she developed ulcers which kept bleeding and she had to be hospitalised twice for haemorrhages. She also had kidney and liver failure and then in December she was mainly bed ridden, couldn’t do much, would be going to the toilet in her own bed and didn’t even realise that was a bad thing, wouldn’t wash herself because she didn’t even know she would smell type thing. Anyways in January my nan walked in and she was haemorrhaging again, my brother rushed in and said he could hear a weird noise (death rattle) and the paremedics worked on her for over an hour (they knew she was gone) but had to transport her to hospital to declare she was gone. I remember on the way to A&E I had no idea she was gone, I refused to accept it. My dad was waiting at the doors and he just looked at me and said “she’s gone”, still didn’t believe it until I walked into the family room and just whaled in pain. They said they ulcers were bleeding into her stomach so passing as faeces so it wasn’t as obvious about bleeding but when we got home my poor nan had to remove her bed sheets that were so heavy with blood


It happens everyday. I also keep getting panic about death in general i.e me dieing, what happens ect it’s so horrible thank you everyone

Oh bless you, that sounds like a really traumatic experience for you to go through. Perhaps it’s manifesting as ptsd. My husband has a horrendous phobia of death, the unknown, time & space etc. He can sometimes have panic attacks when he thinks about it and it becomes a never ending circle. It’s a very real and very scary fear that affects people. I try and explain that it is completely normal to feel like that because it’s the unknown but honestly if you find it is getting on top of you then deffo go to the doctors. I struggle periodically with really bad panic, quite similar to what your explaining and it’s bleeping awful. Please talk any time you need to. Do you have a support network around you x

 

[lozzapaloozza]

Oh bless you, that sounds like a really traumatic experience for you to go through. Perhaps it’s manifesting as ptsd. My husband has a horrendous phobia of death, the unknown, time & space etc. He can sometimes have panic attacks when he thinks about it and it becomes a never ending circle. It’s a very real and very scary fear that affects people. I try and explain that it is completely normal to feel like that because it’s the unknown but honestly if you find it is getting on top of you then deffo go to the doctors. I struggle periodically with really bad panic, quite similar to what your explaining and it’s bleeping awful. Please talk any time you need to. Do you have a support network around you x

Thank you so much! I have questioned whether I have PTSD so it’s reassuring hearing someone agrees! I’m so sorry for your husband, honestly there’s nothing worse! I do already have anxiety and used to have panic attacks too so my heart goes out to you. I will definitely look into it thank you! Yes I have an incredible boyfriend, family and friends x