I have never found any celebration in sober times, to be honest. I just wait for it to end. I find those times just after stopping very, very difficult - almost more so than times when they are drinking. I am constantly on edge, feel unsettled. It’s A hard time.How is everyone? Mine has stopped, I’m finding it very hard. Everyone rallying round him who either didn’t have a clue or didn’t care to notice and I’m sort of left to deal with it. Feel like a bitch for not just being ecstatic but y’know.
I've been thinking about this thread recently and keep forgetting to check in, so thank you for posting and resurrecting it.How is everyone? Mine has stopped, I’m finding it very hard. Everyone rallying round him who either didn’t have a clue or didn’t care to notice and I’m sort of left to deal with it. Feel like a bitch for not just being ecstatic but y’know.
New to this thread but so glad I've found it.How’s everyone doing? Things are better but I’ve realised how anxious the whole thing has made me. I’m still not sure what to do with some of my feelings about it all, I don’t want to raise it with partner cos they seem to be doing well and I shouldn’t put extra stress on them. Mutual friends know now but they are “his” friends and only one of mine really knows about it all and I don’t want to bore her with it!
Christmas feels a bit scary but I’m trying to have faith and I know I can’t do anything to control what happens.
I'll give the Al Anon group another look, I see its had mixed reviews but, as everything, its worth a try. I hadn't heard of SMART recovery so will see what thats all about.Isolation is right, I didn’t realise how much until he stopped (still stopped, fingers crossed).
Try an Al Anon meeting, if you don’t like it you don’t need to go again, but maybe something will resonate? I think SMART recovery do a family thing as well so if that’s near you it could be good?
how old are your kids, that must be hard.
This sounds quite similar to my situation except I was the child.I'll give the Al Anon group another look, I see its had mixed reviews but, as everything, its worth a try. I hadn't heard of SMART recovery so will see what thats all about.
My kids are teenagers but I had spent a lot of time over the years shielding them from his drunken behaviour which would have been confusing and scary to them as younger children. Now they are older I can't hide it anymore; they notice him slurring, repeating himself and his inability to remember conversations etc from the night before leaving my role in this situation a bit defunkt.
I think this has been a catalyst for me feeling unable to carry the situation anymore, my focus was on the children, now I just feel lonely, ashamed and as if I'm not being very loyal by discussing how I feel about his drinking with other people.
I didn't know there was a support group for children, I'll have a look at it as it appears my daughter is struggling and so may benefit from some support.I would echo Al-anon. If anything it is so helpful to listen to other people in exactly the same situation and know that it is not you and it it not your fault. The one thing I have taken from Al-anon is the 3 Cs - I didnt Cause it, I can Cure it and I can't Control it. It also helps you to detach from the the alcoholic, and understand that they are not the same person you know and love, they have a disease, are sick and need help. Unfortunately in the UK unless you have private insurance, that help is near on impossible to get. It is heart breaking.
There is also Al-ateen for children of.an alcoholic.
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?