It doesnt sound like he really wants to do much then does it? If he was really wanting to change then he would be going for proper help. Remember you have plenty of options.x
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Another bump up. Hope everyone is doing well.
I got ignored for 2 days, without knowing what i've done wrong. It torments me, I write little notes asking to just tell me what I have done. But then suddenly it is over and he is happy again. I am assuming that it is the dry drunk symptom. We are going away to a game lodge for a week next Monday, first time away this year and i am sure it will be good for him as i am an essential worker and been working all the time, but he has been housebound since February 2020 which cannot be good for mental health. Life is full of ups and downs with an alcoholic, and in reality we dont think I will ever just accept the situation, as it breaks me each time. On a positive note i bought myself a Tzu Shih puppy yesterday and i AM IN LOVE 
Aww very cute!! Nice to have a little pup to cuddle and focus attention onI got ignored for 2 days, without knowing what i've done wrong. It torments me, I write little notes asking to just tell me what I have done. But then suddenly it is over and he is happy again. I am assuming that it is the dry drunk symptom. We are going away to a game lodge for a week next Monday, first time away this year and i am sure it will be good for him as i am an essential worker and been working all the time, but he has been housebound since February 2020 which cannot be good for mental health. Life is full of ups and downs with an alcoholic, and in reality we dont think I will ever just accept the situation, as it breaks me each time. On a positive note i bought myself a Tzu Shih puppy yesterday and i AM IN LOVE
I’m sorry you had a horrible few days though. Ignoring someone is such childish behaviour, but actually something I grew up with from my non-alcoholic parent, simply due to his bad temper. I hope you have a lovely time away and it makes all the difference to you both xhi everyone, I hope you are all doing well. I'm having a bad day so i just wanted a little rant and to get my feelings out. The area I live in is moving to tier3, my family had bubbled with my mum before in the previous lockdown as my alcoholic sister was in rehab. However when we went tier 2 this time round, we agreed my mum would bubble with sister who has been out of rehab for 6 months, as she is on her own and we realise she needs support. I'm fine with that, but its hard not seeing my mum.
I've been feeling down because of that, and the uncertainty of not knowing how tier3 will affect my kids etc. So today I call my mum after work as I do every day just to check how things are. She sounded fine and said she had a good day at work etc. Anyway, we are chatting away and she mentioned something about her job and I said ooh maybe don't mention that to (sister) it was about the fact that someone we know had a new job, she then says I have a feeling she has been drinking again. She couldn't reach her on the phone and walked to her house and saw she was asleep on the sofa midday. She said she had no proof and she may just be ill but she had a feeling. Anyway, my mum wasn't actually upset or anything, but ever since that call I've just felt so low.
We have a few family issues which are completely out of our control but I just always feel like why me? Why can't I have a family like other people at work where there isn't this constant drama and fear of something going wrong. Why can't my mum just have a normal child who doesn't cause her so much anxiety and worry. It really gets to me. I feel guilty for my kids that I have previously had to lie to them about where thier Aunt was.
I know I can't control any of this and I know it isn't my fault. I even know that 12 months ago this would have sent me into a major panic and anxiety attack, but it hasn't this time. I know tomorrow I will feel less like this but my god I feel awful tonight. I'm back to feeling like I want her gone permanently which isn't great.
I saw her last weekend and things were fine, she's actually been doing really well for the last few weeks which makes this all the more tit.
Sorry for the rant, its been a hard week at work with deadlines and moving into tier3 which affects my job. I think its just topped off a bit of a crap week x x x
I've been feeling down because of that, and the uncertainty of not knowing how tier3 will affect my kids etc. So today I call my mum after work as I do every day just to check how things are. She sounded fine and said she had a good day at work etc. Anyway, we are chatting away and she mentioned something about her job and I said ooh maybe don't mention that to (sister) it was about the fact that someone we know had a new job, she then says I have a feeling she has been drinking again. She couldn't reach her on the phone and walked to her house and saw she was asleep on the sofa midday. She said she had no proof and she may just be ill but she had a feeling. Anyway, my mum wasn't actually upset or anything, but ever since that call I've just felt so low.
We have a few family issues which are completely out of our control but I just always feel like why me? Why can't I have a family like other people at work where there isn't this constant drama and fear of something going wrong. Why can't my mum just have a normal child who doesn't cause her so much anxiety and worry. It really gets to me. I feel guilty for my kids that I have previously had to lie to them about where thier Aunt was.
I know I can't control any of this and I know it isn't my fault. I even know that 12 months ago this would have sent me into a major panic and anxiety attack, but it hasn't this time. I know tomorrow I will feel less like this but my god I feel awful tonight. I'm back to feeling like I want her gone permanently which isn't great.
I saw her last weekend and things were fine, she's actually been doing really well for the last few weeks which makes this all the more tit.
Sorry for the rant, its been a hard week at work with deadlines and moving into tier3 which affects my job. I think its just topped off a bit of a crap week x x x
@37BBL sending you loads of love. That feeling when you hear something that makes you suspect the drinking has begun again is horrendous. Like a black hole inside you, and (for me) it them consumes almost every thought for a few days. Fingers crossed that since she has been doing well lately your sister is still on that path. Im sorry you won’t get to see your mum as you move in to tier 3, hopefully it will be a short time before restrictions are eased for you.
Thanks hun. Just a bit of a crap week I think. All the chocolate for me this weekend and I'll be fine. Just have to keep reminding myself everyone has a choice and this is what she chose. X
True, but her choices have consequences on the rest of your family, something alcoholics either don’t think about or just don’t care about. I think many of us know we ought not to care as much, we ought to try and distance ourselves from their choice to drink. But thats hard, we’re human, and it isn’t always that easy when our emotions get in the way of the rational thinking.
Get all the chocolate in, and hopefully next week is better for you, even in tier 3 x
Easier said than done, but YOU need to take care of you. When i started Al Alnon i thought this was a very selfish way because you love the addict.
But the relieve I felt the day when i told my husband that his addiction is his problem and when he lies about drinking, that is on him. But i know it difficult and part of you is always on the lookout to see if they have been drinking again. Wishing you lots of love and hoping you feel better soon
Thanks. I'm feeling better this morning, still low but better than I did last night xx
That is so very true and really good to remember when times are tough. I spoke to my Mum today and she had heard from mt sister, all she got was 'im sorry' no admittance that she had relapsed so we don't know, very likely she did. My Mum replied saying you always are sorry. Shes heard nothing more as yet. I said just try and clear your mind, have a nice evening and remember this isnt your fault.
Sending love. It’s Friday, hopefully your hard work week has been left behind and you can enjoy a nice weekend xx
I had a bad drinking problem last year whilst at university as I was finding myself drinking alone in my room in my accommodation. When I think back to those times I actually get chills. I ended up using a forum on Reddit called "stopdrinking" where lots of people share their stories and it helped me realise what road I was set on.
I used to use every excuse under the sun to justify it "oh I'm a student, it's what students do". Luckily I ended up realising over lockdown it was my own hate towards my sexuality combined with body image issues that was destroying my mental health. That combined with my uni work, deadlines and my first time having moved out of my parental home was just too much.
Lockdown helped me realise who I was and that I'm worthy of love, care and this life I've been given to live. I started seeing positives instead of negatives all the time and finally came out to my mum. It was the biggest relief ever and now when I drink it's for social reasons and once a month if that (used to he every week!).
Even in your darkest days there is a way out...don't let alcohol steal your happiness and chance at life for a few hours of "fun". I know it's easier said than done but you were put on this Earth for a reason and that was to be free, be happy and enjoy life.
My friends boyfriend currently has a drinking issue he wont acknowledge, drinking almost every night and says "oh well my friends are." There has been times when he chosen drinking over my friend and I've offered him advice and her and they wont have it. It's so hard to see her so upset about it (her dad has issues with drinking too so it's a constant reminder). I totally see the red flags, the exact excuses I used, are cropping up now. It's never too late to change and I hope anyone who is struggling or loves someone who does, that one day they will be sober. It takes time, patience and effort but its possible. Alcohol is a very powerful drug and sometimes I wish it was treated the same as Class As.
I used to use every excuse under the sun to justify it "oh I'm a student, it's what students do". Luckily I ended up realising over lockdown it was my own hate towards my sexuality combined with body image issues that was destroying my mental health. That combined with my uni work, deadlines and my first time having moved out of my parental home was just too much.
Lockdown helped me realise who I was and that I'm worthy of love, care and this life I've been given to live. I started seeing positives instead of negatives all the time and finally came out to my mum. It was the biggest relief ever and now when I drink it's for social reasons and once a month if that (used to he every week!).
Even in your darkest days there is a way out...don't let alcohol steal your happiness and chance at life for a few hours of "fun". I know it's easier said than done but you were put on this Earth for a reason and that was to be free, be happy and enjoy life.
My friends boyfriend currently has a drinking issue he wont acknowledge, drinking almost every night and says "oh well my friends are." There has been times when he chosen drinking over my friend and I've offered him advice and her and they wont have it. It's so hard to see her so upset about it (her dad has issues with drinking too so it's a constant reminder). I totally see the red flags, the exact excuses I used, are cropping up now. It's never too late to change and I hope anyone who is struggling or loves someone who does, that one day they will be sober. It takes time, patience and effort but its possible. Alcohol is a very powerful drug and sometimes I wish it was treated the same as Class As.
Congratulations on overcoming so much, you’ve done amazingly well. Unfortunately many alcoholics don’t want to hear any sense, which is what’s happening with your friend’s bf. It can make life very difficult for all involved.
I am 27, female and South African. Spent my university years mostly getting pissed out of my face (although I did get a 2:1 in Computer Sciences). After leaving university and finding regular FT employment I used to enjoy a bottle of Jacob's Creek white wine on almost a daily basis.
In fact I drank so much of it that I became addicted. I never ended up truly drunk as far as I know; and neither did I ever end up in hospital. But I just regarding drinking a bottle (sometimes two) of wine on a daily basis in the same way most people regarding drinking tea or coffee.
If I tried drinking beer or red wine or spirits, I would be all over the shop, completely out of my face, and all together a different, far less pleasant person by all accounts.
However, I gave up all spirits and wines a couple of years back when I decided to put my career and my relationships as a priority. So all good there then.
However, ever since this Covid thing, I have started to go back to my (bad) old ways of finding comfort in a bottle of JC despite keeping busy with my workload.
I think the more I read about how this pandemic is becoming more of a complete and utter disaster for everyone, the more I am starting to drink. And yet I really shouldn't have any need to feel so depressed because I have a job, my own home, a girlfriend, a fairly good and regular income, and my family and friends are all in good health (physically at least). But I just find myself turning to the wine again just because its there!
This morning I took an empty wine bottle from last night, and popped into the recycling tub where I found 13 other empty wine bottle that have accumulated since the last collection 2 weeks ago. And it really did finally sink in - that I was drinking THAT much in such a relatively short space of time. And only now have I acknowledged it.
Not quite sure where I'm going with this post. But at the very least I can use it as a bookmark so that I know where I stand and what I need to do next.
In fact I drank so much of it that I became addicted. I never ended up truly drunk as far as I know; and neither did I ever end up in hospital. But I just regarding drinking a bottle (sometimes two) of wine on a daily basis in the same way most people regarding drinking tea or coffee.
If I tried drinking beer or red wine or spirits, I would be all over the shop, completely out of my face, and all together a different, far less pleasant person by all accounts.
However, I gave up all spirits and wines a couple of years back when I decided to put my career and my relationships as a priority. So all good there then.
However, ever since this Covid thing, I have started to go back to my (bad) old ways of finding comfort in a bottle of JC despite keeping busy with my workload.
I think the more I read about how this pandemic is becoming more of a complete and utter disaster for everyone, the more I am starting to drink. And yet I really shouldn't have any need to feel so depressed because I have a job, my own home, a girlfriend, a fairly good and regular income, and my family and friends are all in good health (physically at least). But I just find myself turning to the wine again just because its there!
This morning I took an empty wine bottle from last night, and popped into the recycling tub where I found 13 other empty wine bottle that have accumulated since the last collection 2 weeks ago. And it really did finally sink in - that I was drinking THAT much in such a relatively short space of time. And only now have I acknowledged it.
Not quite sure where I'm going with this post. But at the very least I can use it as a bookmark so that I know where I stand and what I need to do next.
Please seek the help of your local AA chapter. If you are ready to acknowledge that your drinking is an issue, they can help you move forward. Please also speak openly and frankly with your loved ones. Most of us here are the loved one of an alcoholic, and the lies, secrecy and mistrust that comes with that is difficult. If you think anyone else has been affected by your drinking, it’s time to talk to them and ask them for help as you stop.
Quick update on that.
I've tried to keep off the JC these last few days, but have given in on a couple of occasions, even though I tried to go into denial I was actually drinking again!
But I have visited the AA website and had an online chat with their volunteers, which has helped. Regrettably there are no venues open near me for meetings due to Covid, but they have provided me with support packs, and can continue to chat with them for as long as I want. But the key thing they said was to get rid of any booze in the house, even ordinary wine that is used for cooking. Reduce temptation, is what they recommended.
So I guess my journey starts now
Well that didn't last long!
Back on the bottle - 2nd bottle of wine today. Not good. Yes, I know I should keep off the booze, and I have been in contact with AA, but its not enough.
I need to start afresh but its not going to happen here. The wine and my work keeps me sane. And this lockdown doesn't help at all.
2 bottles of JC in one day. Not good: not clever, and yet I don't feel at all drunk or vague in my thinking.
Plenty of answers but not the right ones
Back on the bottle - 2nd bottle of wine today. Not good. Yes, I know I should keep off the booze, and I have been in contact with AA, but its not enough.
I need to start afresh but its not going to happen here. The wine and my work keeps me sane. And this lockdown doesn't help at all.
2 bottles of JC in one day. Not good: not clever, and yet I don't feel at all drunk or vague in my thinking.
Plenty of answers but not the right ones