Age gaps

[bringingdownthebs]

Who is the older one? Sorry I’m nosy!!!
mine is 8 months and met at uni.

Don’t mind you being nosey at all! My nosey ness prompted me to create this thread! My partner is the older one. I’m 29 and he’s 55.

 

[bringingdownthebs]

I’m curious to know (and super nosey!) what’s everyone’s age gaps in their relationships?
I seem to be searching the internet for an age gap as large as mine
Please share! What’s your age gap? How did you meet? How long have you been together?!

Our age gap is 26 years. We met at work. We’ve been together for nearly 2 years.

 

[Mrspowell]

I had a relationship with a man 16 years older than me and it was the best sex I ever had

 

[Laughingforlife]

Just to bring back this thread.
I'm glad I found it as it is such a touchy subject.
My parents had an 17 year age gap, and it worked perfectly for them and it means that I'm not worrying about my mum disapproving if I fall in love with someone older than me. Which I did. Ten years older.
It's just people's comments that I can't bear. People saying "oh he's too old for you!" or "you don't know what you're getting into!"
it's so hurtful.
and when people say things in general, not directed at me such as "oh what would a X year old see in a X year old?!" As though younger people shouldn't even be acknowledged. Just give them a chance. I've always got on with people older than me rather than people my own age. Always.
it's just putting people down to their age without considering any other factors, and after a while it can get you down.
Don't get me started on "hell die before you. you'll be on your own"
First of all, anyone can die at any age in theory. Also, I'd prefer to have years with someone I love and have those to reflect on once they're gone, rather than not love them at all just because of society.

Sorry. I'll stop now

 

[Inforapenny]

8 years. I'm 38 husband is 46, so not much of a difference but I like having a slightly older husband. Past relationships have been my age or younger than me and i found it quite hard work.

Some people are funny about age gap relationship....who cares as long as you are happy

 

[rivermonster]

I’m curious to know (and super nosey!) what’s everyone’s age gaps in their relationships?
I seem to be searching the internet for an age gap as large as mine
Please share! What’s your age gap? How did you meet? How long have you been together?!

Our age gap is 26 years. We met at work. We’ve been together for nearly 2 years.

My sisters is about the same as yours. He is in his 90s and she is early 70s and they have been together since she was 21.

 

[Lindssdnil]

12 years! I’m 26 and he’s 38. I love that he’s older

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

I think it's good that it's no longer considered normal for young teenage girls to have "relationships" with adult men. Even as recently as the 1990s for instance, girls' magazines would run stories about "I fell in love with my friend's dad when I was 16 and he was 45 and he left his wife for me" and portray it in a positive light, which I don't think is a good thing. But, yeah, a lot of people now seem to believe any age difference is bad. I know grown adults in their early-mid 20s that think it would be "weird" and "creepy" for an 18 and 22-year-old, who could be at uni together, to date. And the older you get, the less of an issue it is IMO

 

[Scragbags]

11 year between us.
8 year together and 5 years married. I'm 30 and he's 41 but 18 at heart and just a big kid. He's my absolute best friend and the age difference has never made any difference.

 

[Polkadot123]

Just under 4 years.
I'm 29, almost 30(female) and he's 26.
People were judgy at first about the age gap. We have been together 6 years, own a house and getting married. But I had to endure lots of jokes about me being a cougar.

 

[bringingdownthebs]

Oooh!! Nice. My aunt has a similar age difference and is in a very happy relationship

aww that’s lovely! I’ve come from a very unhappy marriage so I feel incredibly lucky to have a man so wonderful in my life! Even if he does get mistaken for my dad on a regular basis

 

[alwaysdreaming]

I’m curious to know (and super nosey!) what’s everyone’s age gaps in their relationships?
I seem to be searching the internet for an age gap as large as mine
Please share! What’s your age gap? How did you meet? How long have you been together?!

Our age gap is 26 years. We met at work. We’ve been together for nearly 2 years.

Hey thought I would chime in.
I have a 23 year age gap.
I am just in my 30s.
We met in a group with similar interests. Very good friends and now we are married. He’s my world. Been together 7 years.
Like yourself he has 3 children. 2 in early 20s and one teen.
Oh and a baby on the way.

 

[Rxt156]

5ish years. My last boyfriend was my age and he was boring as fffuuuuccccckkk

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

We’ve only just started discussing the future proofing plans as his divorce is taking ages and we’re unsure exactly how much he’ll be left with after the sale of his family home etc. I’ve said if we ever get married I’m happy to sign a prenup as I’m absolutely not in this for his money at all - hence us only just starting to discuss the future in terms of finances etc. We have a child together (he’s 5 months old) so our main priority is making sure everything is secure for him.
That being said… my partner has always said he’ll work until he’s 65 so he’s got another 10 years yet!

Mean this from the nicest place ever I promise, but had to say this after seeing the comment re his 3 older kids from what appears to have been a longer previous marriage but please make sure you’re fully in the know on his financial position following this divorce as he will likely be paying a lot out of savings/investments/private pensions/etc and possibly an ongoing obligation too, and whilst 10 years to prep isn’t great it’s something to help make life easier for you and baby in the future. Similarly would want to do other admin such as wills, who the named beneficiaries are on any insurance policies or private pensions (they don’t default to who is named in the will), etc etc.

On topic: my husband is 9 years older.

Also sorry to write an essay but prenups aren’t a thing in the UK, money is allocated based on need both in divorce and in debates over wills (if anyone contests things). Moreover mothers retire with 1/6th of the pension pot their husbands do, so pls don’t do yourself out of money that you’ll have contributed towards him accruing (eg through unpaid domestic labour including child care or going down to part time hours or foregoing career progression to ensure flexibility for baby).

 

[bringingdownthebs]

So glad you took this well cos I promise it’s not from a nasty place at all. Life happens & people move on, which is fine you just want to make sure you’re both in a decent position for when he retires and you’re down to 1.x incomes, especially as you’ll have a kid about to start secondary & eventually transition into adult life!

The pensions stuff may not be as easy as there’s ongoing divorce stuff, but usually it is very easy for husband to call each pension provider up and change the “it goes to…” (forgot the proper name of this) to include you & baby. Personally - and this is obviously subjective - I would want a will that weights at least some portion of it based upon age (under the idea younger = higher need). He also has a lot more to consider with this set up, eg if he’s regularly gifting cash sums to adult children later as when it comes to wills etc they could argue that evidences need so request this continues through the estate, I went through this as my husband was recreationally paying an adult relative’s mortgage and I worried she could say she was a financial dependent (and she could have!).

Also re the don’t want a prenup / not after his money is something we as women are socialised to think by a toxic misogynistic media/society. Women aren’t gifted money for just sitting about doing nothing or just because they were married, if a court wants to allocate you money that is a) so, so your money b) likely an understatement on what you really contributed albeit indirectly.

thank you! I’m gonna have a chat to him about it when we’re away in a few weeks… need to think carefully about how I broach the subject as I’ve stayed out of the divorce stuff so far out of fear!! But now you’ve said about being conditioned by society… it’s a totally valid point! The thing that bothers me the most when people are weird about our age gap is when they’re like “oh he must be rich!” Or make comments about his job and income… when I have my own career and my own income! I love him for who he is… not what he can financially give to me and I get so worked up about people not seeing that!!

 

[bringingdownthebs]

My sisters is about the same as yours. He is in his 90s and she is early 70s and they have been together since she was 21.

oh that’s beautiful If my partner lives to be in his 90s I’ll be over the moon!

 

[Baconbutties]

11 years difference between me and my husband. He's the older one. We've been together for 24 years. Still going strong.

 

[Penelope Strawberry]

I’m curious to know (and super nosey!) what’s everyone’s age gaps in their relationships?
I seem to be searching the internet for an age gap as large as mine
Please share! What’s your age gap? How did you meet? How long have you been together?!

Our age gap is 26 years. We met at work. We’ve been together for nearly 2 years.

3.5 years. We were introduced by a mutual friend who thought we'd get on like a house on fire. Said friend walked me down the aisle 7 years later.

@bringingdownthebs I'm curious about your story - were you just colleagues on the same team, or did one of you report to the other?

 

[Mrs Cucumber]

I had a relationship with a man 16 years older than me and it was the best sex I ever had

I think older men know what they are doing! my ex was 21 years older, absolute dickhead but amazing in bed!

 

[Saddlesoap]

I'm 4.5 years older than my husband. He was only 19 when we met. Was only supposed to be a bit of fun (11 years ago!)

Don’t mind you being nosey at all! My nosey ness prompted me to create this thread! My partner is the older one. I’m 29 and he’s 55.

A girl I know from school has a husband with a similar age gap (I believe), but she's 38. They have two kids. Honestly it looks like grandad is out with his grandkids. Personal choice, but it's too big a gap for me.