Age gaps

[Rose18778]

I’m 5 and a half years older than my boyfriend (I’m 33, he’s nearly 28), we have been together nearly 5 years now, have a mortgage together, he raises my daughter as his own and we are expecting a baby at Christmas! He was only 23 when we met which seems so young in hindsight but he’s very mature and everything I could want. Definitely have had my fair share of cougar jokes though

 

[WhittlingIhopMonkey]

6 years between me and DH. We met in the mid 90s through friends. Lived in the UK for a bit but settled back in the South East where I'm from once the time came to start a family.

Speaking of divorces, he had been engaged before we met but luckily for me (and them, I guess!) It didn't work out.

 

[Milfordcubicle]

13 years. Now 45 me and 58 him
been together since we were 23 and 36 so 21 years
i had a two year old when we met and we are very happy. Have three more teens together now

 

[watermelon sugar]

5 years, I’m 26 and my partner is 31

 

[Loveit17]

Just under 2 years for us but I have a friend with a 20 year age gap of 40 and 60, I don’t see it working to be honest but not because of their age gap, just their personalities

 

[Sally1993]

4 weeks exactly.

 

[Megansnarkle]

About 15 years (him older), I wouldn't want to do much more personally. It doesn't make a difference often but I'm sure it will make more of a difference when we're older. I'm trying to get us into a financial position where we can have a paid off house and I don't have to work full-time up to state pension age.

 

[anon2345]

thank you! Sending you lots of baby dust! how old is your partner’s little boy?
I’m finding it difficult to adjust to the whole ‘step mum’ role. My partner has 3 children with his ex wife - they’re 21, 19 and 17.



that’s beautiful

Thank you babe. It’s been a long year of trying with no joy but trying to not let it get me down!
His lad is 12. Just started secondary school

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

I'm two years older, together for 4 years, met while he was staying in the UK temporarily (from the USA)

 

[Laughingforlife]

Another thing I've just seen, is that people think age gaps are always a negative thing and always come under "grooming".
Admittedly, this comes from younger people usually, but it still very offensive. Not everything has to have negative undertones to it. You get on with someone older than you? Fine. They're a person, they can discuss things with you, it doesn't have to be inappropriate.
Also things like "ew. she was 8 when he started uni. So creepy. "
Well the couple most likely were unaware of each others existence at at that point, so what difference does it make?

 

[Web30]

Im 3 years older then my husband. Up until meeting him i had always been out with older lads.

 

[Nearlyvegan]

My husband is 3.5 years younger than me. When I did my family tree, there was one branch where all the women had younger husbands. Only downside is that I get milestone birthdays first.

 

[Opium]

I am 44, my husband is 38, we've been together 20 years!!!

 

[37BBL]

9 months between me and my husband.
I've previously been with a guy much older than me, he had a daughter a year younger than me. It was no issue for me, but people were judgmental.

My parents had a 14 year age gap too.

 

[x_bethanyy]

I have a larger age gap than anyone has mentioned in the thread But it isn't even an issue and no one has ever commented on it, not to our faces at least.

To be honest I think here in Australia people are more laid back about that kind of thing, whereas people in the UK are a bit more judgemental and like to get more involved in other people's lives. Just my observation (I'm British, he's Australian, and we live in Australia).

 

[bringingdownthebs]

Does it bother your parents or do they all get along?

They get along incredibly well!
I think it helps massively that my ex husband was/is a total waste of space and always sponged off me. I paid for everything while he barely worked. My Dad especially always vocalised that he thought I could do better. In the end my marriage failed (as my Dad knew it would). I was nervous to tell my Dad at first when I’d met my partner but he was really happy for us! I think it helps that my partner is a surgeon and my Dad has quite old fashioned views about me being ‘looked after’. Obviously I can and do look after myself and make my own money but my Dad never liked how much my husband took advantage of that!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

thank you so much! I’m actually really glad I posted this thread now as I’ve had some really good advice!!
My dad is incredibly money savvy and forward thinking (so much so he retired at 55 and lives a really comfortable life!) so I think I’ll run it past him as he’ll probably have some knowledge and ideas.
Yeah you’ve got a point about him not exactly being a gold digger’s cup of tea it’s the point I try to continuously make when I get criticised! Most of his money is sitting in his house, too, which will obviously get split with his ex wife after it’s sold. But people at work, especially, are like “oh yeah you’ll be fine with his multi million pound house”… which I don’t even live in!!!

Omg I’m conscious of just constantly writing you essays here but I genuinely worry as a fellow new mum about what I’m reading?! I’m so sorry but that’s not his property, it’s theirs, and it’ll be divided up however the courts see fit with the potential for ongoing financial obligations to keep the ex spouse and kids in the lifestyle they’ve been accustom to. I get love is blind esp from a financial PoV but he’s now got the most coming out of his income ever & very little time for any savings/investments/properties to appreciate in value so his financial position has changed significantly from whatever people perceive it to be, sadly. This is subjective and probs controversial but as a new mum my biggest concern would be my baby’s transition to adulthood when the time comes and how to make that as equal to the 3 older kids’ who will likely either have already or will be due to receive financial support from their two working parents who have a lifetime of savings and investments etc behind them, whereas your LO is going to have 1 working mummy and a retired daddy when they’re 17/20/30 so how are they going to fund further education or starting a business or buying a house, etc etc. I would want to nail down a plan with husband & solidify that in a will ASAP.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

2.5 years. Husband is 29 and I’m almost 27.

Someone I work with is married to a 50 year old and she’s 25. They’re having a baby next year.

 

[Laughingforlife]

I'm currently in a relationship with someone 25 years older than me and i'm TERRIFIED to tell friends/family about it for this reason! (I'm 33 he's 58). We met at work so it's been easy to keep it to ourselves but we're getting serious now so I know people will find out soon...

I know. It's just you don't know how people will react.
I think people fight it before it happens and they get used to it. But later, once they've accepted it, they realise it's best to make friends with the partner and get on with it. The problem comes when the partner whom no one wanted can't forgive the initial lack of welcome.

 

[Taetae95]

He's a year older than me and been together 6 years - we were mates at uni but didn't get together til a couple of years later have had exes both older and younger though lol