Adam Hattan #11 The sidekick in his own life

[cherryblossom12345]

I know this is a nitpick, but what teenager is called Helen? He didn’t even try to find names that suit the age range he’s targeting. No offence to any Helen’s out there, but it’s more suited to a middle aged person, not a teenager.

 

[geordiegirl]

 

[Mark81]

Not sure I've ever heard men's pecs described as 'voluptuous', I think you'd be laughed out any gym if you called a guys pecs that

 

[GSquaredUWS]

Tearing into a 10 year old girl after ripping every other female character is genuinely shocking. Will he call a baby a cunt before this is over?

 

[Geetbo]

“Open after reading.” I hope it’s a fucking sick bag.

 

[GSquaredUWS]

Just sat at work doing some online equality, diversity and inclusion training and Adams job advert for a marketing person definitely broke the rules. You shouldn't mention age full stop in a job advert

Initially Adam typed ''young, white, single, slim, attractive gay man, preferably with American citizenship, bonus available if you look like Flynn Ryder'' Then he thought, I went too far so young person, white, single, slim, attractive gay man, preferably with American citizenship, bonus availoable if you look like Flynn Ryder

 

[Mark81]

In the latest vlog he says he sent it off for proof reading but when it came back with all the grammar corrections he decided to reject some of them because he thought his version made the writing ”flow better”. He doesn’t like too many commas, or the rules around when they’re required and he won’t have hyphens because he doesn’t like “hyphenisation”. He went on some diatribe how his entire family are dyslexic and he considers hyphens to be difficult for dyslexic people to understand. Translation: “I know better than the proof reader”.

Doesn't this just sum him up completely.

If he has really ignored a qualified and experienced proof reader and sent it to print then he is an idiot. You don't get to pick and choose what grammar and spelling you do and don't like Adam

 

[Tabitha]

Eh, maybe. I honestly don't have much to say.

If I put aside all my nitpicky grammar issues and straight up weird writing, it's still very boring and the characters aren't compelling at all. There's not really a story, it's just episodic scenes strung together. Finn has nothing going for him but being hot, being nice, and having some minor angst about his dad ditching him after he came out. I've still got a third of the novel left, but the coming out part barely seems to be playing a part.

I'd like to give Adam some kudos for writing a basic schlocky romance novel because, well, why shouldn't us LGBTs have our trash and light hearted romance books too. There are countless heterosexual novels of this story/character caliber. But as of yet, he hasn't even made a real point, nor is the book very entertaining outside of snark bait.

That's my basically my final review done already but I'll add some closing thoughts once I've finished the story.
---
A friend of mine refuses to say "and I" because it sounds too posh. They have the opposite of Adam's issue.

Please put this as an amazon review

Thanks for all the screenshots, @emerald Bloody hilarious.
Think my faves are when his expression is still whilst darting his eyes and ‘his pupils cut through the hairs of his eyebrows to negotiate me’ did he mean eyelashes maybe? hahahahahha what a pompous twat.

It’s such a creepy read. Erotic internet fiction from the 00s.
---

Is it just me who thinks @emerald needs to put that fantastic review of Madam’s “book” on Amazon?!

Haha we had the exact same thought at the same time

 

[Mark81]

Someone needs to tell him that every line of dialogue doesn't need a 'he said' or similar. You can just write the dialogue

 

[Mark81]

I still can’t get over the fact that he asked them to guess how much it cost, wonder if was secretly hoping they’d say they would pay.

I think he just thinks stuff like that impresses people

 

[ReadySteadyGrift]

 

[Tabitha]

My version of hell is listening to Adam’s laugh, speeded up for eternity

 

[Geetbo]

I think he’s over ordered.

 

[GSquaredUWS]

In fairness, all authors writing children and young lit will be adults.

But you also have to be responsible in how you write and portray those events

Yep I don’t read YA but I have heard authors interviewee on podcasts and I’ve yet to hear any author giggling and winking about the “spice” in their book when the characters are so young. They’re usually a bit painful because they talk about finding the balance of being realistic without scaring their audience and bringing in consent without making it finger wagging. Which is understandable. Adam’s problem is that we all know the character is him and we know he squeals at the face characters like a tween girl and we know any spice is very much current Adam him fantasising about the teenage character because in his mind he is still a teenager.

The way he talks about it is inappropriate but then so is whistling and whooping at face characters and so are his slut bracelets. He sees himself as a teenager but he is walking around as a burly bearded man who looks mid 30s so people won’t consider any of his behaviour “cute”. Putting on an ill fitting brown/orange combo that made him look like an extra in The Mary Tyler Moore Show ages him even further and makes him creepier to a teen audience.

 

[Fuzzyfelt]

I think he just thinks stuff like that impresses people

In the words of Shania Twain - “that don‘t impress me much” (or at all)

 

[queenamber]

Well he got humbled in that vlog didn’t he? I think he honestly thought publishers would snap his hands off for his book when the reality is having 127k subscribers is small fry these days. I’m actually surprised his ego uploaded a video admitting no publishers wanted it!

Also, Christ, his work ethic is dire! I’d love to see the published authors with 9-5 jobs watching this.

 

[emerald]

I will if I can figure out how to do it without making it obvious that it's emerald from tattle It could do with a genuine, critical review by someone who read the thing.

 

[Geetbo]

I am scarlet for him. He’s ordered a hi viz saying Author on the back to march round the factory. Fuck. Me.

 

[Itvex]

He is a narcissist. Not one publisher was interested. He turns that into a positive in his head. His book will be as dire and as desperate as he is.

 

[GSquaredUWS]

It's also so weird how Gary keeps inserting himself into this book promo. Call it "support" but it just seems like he's trying to muscle in to the spotlight to me. He knows he has nothing without Adam.

"We are both so grateful for your love and support" like ???? Unless you're a couple or a co-author then it has nothing to do with you!

It's starting to look like Adam thinks he has nothing without Gary and he feels the need to trot Gary out to entertain his fans because he's not even confident that they like him on his own. Gary is his muse, his secretary, his editor, his life coach, his emotional support, his only friend, the only person who will pick up the phone to him. They are morphing into Lou and Andy.