Very interesting thread and some lovely answers. I am similar age, been with husband similar length of time, kids, nice guy, etc. Personally I think you need to spend a bit of time on yourself, you've mentioned low self esteem,having a pt, so obviously working on your health/fitness. How old are your kids? Ours are teenagers so we are now hitting the years of a bit more free time, quite often just us in front of the TV in the evenings etc. Are you reflecting a bit on your life in general just now? Maybe time to put yourself first for a bit and work out why you are looking for something that to be honest you may never have. If your pt slipped you his number, would you still fancy him as much? Maybe if you felt a bit better about yourself then you might be able to find a spark with your husband? He also sounds totally amazing and in my view, 9/10 is not worth throwing away for a potential 1/10. I have also been on the other side and have a husband who started an affair a few years ago and it is utterly devastating. I knew we were having a rough time but I never thought for a minute he would turn elsewhere. To be fair he was horrified with himself when I found out and broke it off immediately and we did work through it, but it is really is something I wont ever forget. You do come across as a lovely person and I cant imagine you would want that on your conscience. Good luck and I hope you come to some kind of resolution that you can be happy and live with xx