A place for ranting/whinging

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I left my job due to personal reasons in November. I've had numerous interviews since then and I haven't been successful. My next one is on 12th January and is a HR role, what I'm experienced in. My boyfriend has been really supportive up until now. For months he dismissed my building stress and said we'd be fine in January.

The past few days we've been shouting at each other, arguing and I've been in tears all evening because he wants me to start my own business. I've never done anything like this before but he thinks this will help me pay my share of the rent until I get a job. His idea is to make up some tat boxes and sell them on Facebook (we all know the kind) I refused because its not something I've ever done or will do, it's something EVERYONE is doing and I don't give a duck if Sharon at work did it and made some cash, i'm not doing it. I want a stable income and I'm not wasting money on stuff I can't afford that might not even sell because its literal tat.

This was my point in one of our arguments and he came back at me with "nothings bleeping working for you now is it?" and had a really smug, nasty grin on his face referring to the fact I've been rejected from lots of jobs. I had a bath, got dressed and went for a walk without saying a word to him. On my walk i rang my dad who's agreed to lend me money for rent (Saint 😇) so I came home and put the money in the bills account. Bf must've seen the Monzo notification and for some reason is now sulking in bed.

I can't be arsed with him thinking he's right all the time and knows everything. I've had a tit few months (as we all have) and I have been battling with newishly diagnosed BPD. I've run out of tablets I take and my prescription isn't going to be ready until tomorrow. I'm sick and tired of him doing nothing around the house either!!! I came back to our cats food open and left on the side dried jelly that ofc muggins here will clean up 🖕🏻😡😡😡
God, dump him lovely. He’s no support to you x
 
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I left my job due to personal reasons in November. I've had numerous interviews since then and I haven't been successful. My next one is on 12th January and is a HR role, what I'm experienced in. My boyfriend has been really supportive up until now. For months he dismissed my building stress and said we'd be fine in January.

The past few days we've been shouting at each other, arguing and I've been in tears all evening because he wants me to start my own business. I've never done anything like this before but he thinks this will help me pay my share of the rent until I get a job. His idea is to make up some tat boxes and sell them on Facebook (we all know the kind) I refused because its not something I've ever done or will do, it's something EVERYONE is doing and I don't give a duck if Sharon at work did it and made some cash, i'm not doing it. I want a stable income and I'm not wasting money on stuff I can't afford that might not even sell because its literal tat.

This was my point in one of our arguments and he came back at me with "nothings bleeping working for you now is it?" and had a really smug, nasty grin on his face referring to the fact I've been rejected from lots of jobs. I had a bath, got dressed and went for a walk without saying a word to him. On my walk i rang my dad who's agreed to lend me money for rent (Saint 😇) so I came home and put the money in the bills account. Bf must've seen the Monzo notification and for some reason is now sulking in bed.

I can't be arsed with him thinking he's right all the time and knows everything. I've had a tit few months (as we all have) and I have been battling with newishly diagnosed BPD. I've run out of tablets I take and my prescription isn't going to be ready until tomorrow. I'm sick and tired of him doing nothing around the house either!!! I came back to our cats food open and left on the side dried jelly that ofc muggins here will clean up 🖕🏻😡😡😡
That’s really unkind of him. I’m sorry. I can imagine how painful that must have been.

Is there something that’s happened recently that could have affected him and made him behave that way? I’m not excusing it at all but it was the fact that you said he’d been great up until now so I wonder if anything happened that day even and he couldn’t cope and took it out on you? Sadly (and I’ve been on both ends of it) we take our pain out on those closest to us don’t we 😔 even though it’s the last thing we should do. Do you think he knows how hurtful what he said was?

If you do decide to leave, the stay flat with your parents will be a good stepping stone and even if it’s difficult it’ll be worth it because you’ll be closer to happiness and not having to deal with an unkind and unpleasant man.
 
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That’s really unkind of him. I’m sorry. I can imagine how painful that must have been.

Is there something that’s happened recently that could have affected him and made him behave that way? I’m not excusing it at all but it was the fact that you said he’d been great up until now so I wonder if anything happened that day even and he couldn’t cope and took it out on you? Sadly (and I’ve been on both ends of it) we take our pain out on those closest to us don’t we 😔 even though it’s the last thing we should do. Do you think he knows how hurtful what he said was?

If you do decide to leave, the stay flat with your parents will be a good stepping stone and even if it’s difficult it’ll be worth it because you’ll be closer to happiness and not having to deal with an unkind and unpleasant man.
Thank you for being so kind ❤. I think it was just the reality of it being so close to rent day that he panicked he'd have to cover both of us and was trying to be helpful in the most irritating way possible.

He definitely knows how much he's upset me. He saw me crying and we haven't spoken since as he's in bed still.

If we can't work things out I will definitely move in with them again. They won't charge me rent or expect payment for anything. They really are the best x
 
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Our honeymoon/30th bday trip to the Caribbean has obviously been cancelled -we were due to go next week. We have both worked extra hours and saved up really hard for it. All I’ve seen this week is influencers and celebrities jetting off on holiday or freebie “work” trips 😞. Just seems so unfair that if you have enough money or followers the rules don’t seem to apply to you. What’s the point of working hard anymore ☹
 
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Our honeymoon/30th bday trip to the Caribbean has obviously been cancelled -we were due to go next week. We have both worked extra hours and saved up really hard for it. All I’ve seen this week is influencers and celebrities jetting off on holiday or freebie “work” trips 😞. Just seems so unfair that if you have enough money or followers the rules don’t seem to apply to you. What’s the point of working hard anymore ☹
I feel you. It’s so hard to stay positive when you work so hard and you can’t enjoy what you’ve worked hard for. Just know you are being a lovely sensible person for not flouting the rules and when you get that holiday (which you will!!) it will be the best.
The warm sun on your face as you get off the plane, the lukewarm sea, that first feel of sand on your feet.... it’ll be so much sweeter once this has all passed 🧡
 
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I feel you. It’s so hard to stay positive when you work so hard and you can’t enjoy what you’ve worked hard for. Just know you are being a lovely sensible person for not flouting the rules and when you get that holiday (which you will!!) it will be the best.
The warm sun on your face as you get off the plane, the lukewarm sea, that first feel of sand on your feet.... it’ll be so much sweeter once this has all passed 🧡
Thank you! I know it will feel amazing when we finally get there. Think I’m going to distance myself from Instagram for a bit to stop getting wound up by it all....
 
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Well my moan is im feeling quite lonely ... I’ve been going on lots of walks in the country and get really excited when someone walks past I always say hello but sometimes get ignored :( something else which upsets me which is pathetic is if a dog goes past me and doesn’t want a fuss 😹 I know you aren’t meant to as of covid but I get a little Pang 😭 my sisters home for Xmas so I do have company but I think this year has left me craving some human intereaction an I’m normally a hermit!! I suffer with anxiety and depression so struggle normally anyway. So just trying to keep myself up and pull myself out of downs and panics . Other thing which I want to rant about is my overdraft it’s about minus a grand and I have no savings, I’ve been trying to get out of it all year but it’s been hard due to lockdown :( I left my job in dec 19 due to bullying and was out of work then just before lockdown so I was working at morrisons as it was my only option. I’m now a TA for some lovely autistic children and am concerned that if schools shut again I won’t be paid due to the fact I’m on long term agency. So my money could get even worse. I was minus 2000 jan19 and have pulled that back to minus 1000 but christmas hasn’t helped as I do like treating family and making them happy. Also sounds stupid but I have two cats and their food costs a lot and vet bills. As I decided to get them so wouldn’t skimp on their stuff. Anyway I’ll shut up now love to you all and positive vibes ❤
❤❤ If I lived near you and walked past with my dog, I'd say hi and let you pet my black labrador 😁 I know what you mean, a smile from a stranger goes a long way
 
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❤❤ If I lived near you and walked past with my dog, I'd say hi and let you pet my black labrador 😁 I know what you mean, a smile from a stranger goes a long way
i LOVE friendly dog owners. Whenever I'm in the woods I always make a point of how the dogs not bothering me at all and just saying hello ❤❤❤
 
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Another person from my team at work is leaving (we've had like 10+ people leave in the past few months and we're a team of around 40-50). There are no plans to replace this person (or any of the others) any time soon so all their work is just going to be split up and redistributed around.... But this is obviously around the tenth time this has happened.

Genuinely don't know if I can take any more work on but I'll be forced to anyway. 😩
 
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I want to quit my job but my husband won’t let me. It’s been triggering my PTSD I’ve been off sick more this year than I have worked, I know I’m on my last legs from the employers side (ie they are fed up with me being off etc) I’m trying my hardest.

I am not *allowed* to quit because money and my husband has taken over my finances by changing my password and transferring MY money into our joint account (he said I spend too much) when I’m reality I bought myself an £11 book for Christmas and I bought my family and his family all the Christmas gifts and I have a spreadsheet for budgeting. However he can spend his cash Willy nilly on his new “hobby” of investing!
 
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I want to quit my job but my husband won’t let me. It’s been triggering my PTSD I’ve been off sick more this year than I have worked, I know I’m on my last legs from the employers side (ie they are fed up with me being off etc) I’m trying my hardest.

I am not *allowed* to quit because money and my husband has taken over my finances by changing my password and transferring MY money into our joint account (he said I spend too much) when I’m reality I bought myself an £11 book for Christmas and I bought my family and his family all the Christmas gifts and I have a spreadsheet for budgeting. However he can spend his cash Willy nilly on his new “hobby” of investing!
Taking your money is not on . I would try and get a new bank account that he doesn't have access to
 
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I want to quit my job but my husband won’t let me. It’s been triggering my PTSD I’ve been off sick more this year than I have worked, I know I’m on my last legs from the employers side (ie they are fed up with me being off etc) I’m trying my hardest.

I am not *allowed* to quit because money and my husband has taken over my finances by changing my password and transferring MY money into our joint account (he said I spend too much) when I’m reality I bought myself an £11 book for Christmas and I bought my family and his family all the Christmas gifts and I have a spreadsheet for budgeting. However he can spend his cash Willy nilly on his new “hobby” of investing!
This is unforgivable, you are an adult. If he has concerns about your spending, the way to solve that is not overtaking your finances, wtf. I agree with @Kim Mild, open another account and say nothing to him. What he did is abusive and controlling.
 
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I want to quit my job but my husband won’t let me. It’s been triggering my PTSD I’ve been off sick more this year than I have worked, I know I’m on my last legs from the employers side (ie they are fed up with me being off etc) I’m trying my hardest.

I am not *allowed* to quit because money and my husband has taken over my finances by changing my password and transferring MY money into our joint account (he said I spend too much) when I’m reality I bought myself an £11 book for Christmas and I bought my family and his family all the Christmas gifts and I have a spreadsheet for budgeting. However he can spend his cash Willy nilly on his new “hobby” of investing!
this is not acceptable and this is a form of financial abuse. Your husband cannot control your choices over money or how or when you work. please know this is not ok and you have done absolutely nothing wrong. do you have anyone close - fam or friends, that you can talk to? What happens if you challenge him, does he get violent? Off the top of my head I don’t know many domestic abuse charities but I believe women’s aid might be on, are you able to call them and ask for some advice?This is not a healthy way to live x
 
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I want to quit my job but my husband won’t let me. It’s been triggering my PTSD I’ve been off sick more this year than I have worked, I know I’m on my last legs from the employers side (ie they are fed up with me being off etc) I’m trying my hardest.

I am not *allowed* to quit because money and my husband has taken over my finances by changing my password and transferring MY money into our joint account (he said I spend too much) when I’m reality I bought myself an £11 book for Christmas and I bought my family and his family all the Christmas gifts and I have a spreadsheet for budgeting. However he can spend his cash Willy nilly on his new “hobby” of investing!
I’m sure deep down you already know this is a major issue and not something he can fob you off about. Not only is he taking your money, he’s making your doubt your own ability to handle your money and forcing you to continue in a role that is damaging you. Is there anyone you trust enough to share this with? You deserve agency over your own money and work life.
 
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Out of nowhere my best friend has completely taken a turn on me. We used to text loads and she never replies anymore. She doesn’t like my social media. It’s all very petty.

She makes me feel like absolute tit.

It’s like everything is a competition. I introduced her to another friend and she might as well take a mortgage up her backside. It’s like she doesn’t have to be honest with her. She’s taken a volunteer role on but told my friend that it’s an actual job that’s paid. It’s not up to me to tell her otherwise but it makes me so mad when she’s asking about her salary and how does she juggle two jobs etc when I know she doesn’t.

I’ve booked in for my covid vaccine tomorrow and rather than say “yay!” She just said “I wouldn’t have it.” And downplays everything that I do. I know she’s jealous of my job within the NHS - she works in a call centre for a health company and she hates it but again, lies to my other friend and basically makes out she’s a nurse.

I have been tempted many times to ask if I’ve done something wrong and why doesn’t she bother talking to me anymore but I can’t be arsed with it. It’s made me cry some evenings as I’m so down about it all. I’ve probably not explained it properly here as I really am just ranting but meh.
 
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Out of nowhere my best friend has completely taken a turn on me. We used to text loads and she never replies anymore. She doesn’t like my social media. It’s all very petty.

She makes me feel like absolute tit.

It’s like everything is a competition. I introduced her to another friend and she might as well take a mortgage up her backside. It’s like she doesn’t have to be honest with her. She’s taken a volunteer role on but told my friend that it’s an actual job that’s paid. It’s not up to me to tell her otherwise but it makes me so mad when she’s asking about her salary and how does she juggle two jobs etc when I know she doesn’t.

I’ve booked in for my covid vaccine tomorrow and rather than say “yay!” She just said “I wouldn’t have it.” And downplays everything that I do. I know she’s jealous of my job within the NHS - she works in a call centre for a health company and she hates it but again, lies to my other friend and basically makes out she’s a nurse.

I have been tempted many times to ask if I’ve done something wrong and why doesn’t she bother talking to me anymore but I can’t be arsed with it. It’s made me cry some evenings as I’m so down about it all. I’ve probably not explained it properly here as I really am just ranting but meh.
She dosen't sound like much of a friend to me. Perhaps it is time to cut her loose.
 
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Out of nowhere my best friend has completely taken a turn on me. We used to text loads and she never replies anymore. She doesn’t like my social media. It’s all very petty.

She makes me feel like absolute tit.

It’s like everything is a competition. I introduced her to another friend and she might as well take a mortgage up her backside. It’s like she doesn’t have to be honest with her. She’s taken a volunteer role on but told my friend that it’s an actual job that’s paid. It’s not up to me to tell her otherwise but it makes me so mad when she’s asking about her salary and how does she juggle two jobs etc when I know she doesn’t.

I’ve booked in for my covid vaccine tomorrow and rather than say “yay!” She just said “I wouldn’t have it.” And downplays everything that I do. I know she’s jealous of my job within the NHS - she works in a call centre for a health company and she hates it but again, lies to my other friend and basically makes out she’s a nurse.

I have been tempted many times to ask if I’ve done something wrong and why doesn’t she bother talking to me anymore but I can’t be arsed with it. It’s made me cry some evenings as I’m so down about it all. I’ve probably not explained it properly here as I really am just ranting but meh.
omg that always happens to me.Go out with friend 1 and ask friend 2 if she wants to come, you know trying to be nice, then they both mate up and freeze you out.
 
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Out of nowhere my best friend has completely taken a turn on me. We used to text loads and she never replies anymore. She doesn’t like my social media. It’s all very petty.

She makes me feel like absolute tit.

It’s like everything is a competition. I introduced her to another friend and she might as well take a mortgage up her backside. It’s like she doesn’t have to be honest with her. She’s taken a volunteer role on but told my friend that it’s an actual job that’s paid. It’s not up to me to tell her otherwise but it makes me so mad when she’s asking about her salary and how does she juggle two jobs etc when I know she doesn’t.

I’ve booked in for my covid vaccine tomorrow and rather than say “yay!” She just said “I wouldn’t have it.” And downplays everything that I do. I know she’s jealous of my job within the NHS - she works in a call centre for a health company and she hates it but again, lies to my other friend and basically makes out she’s a nurse.

I have been tempted many times to ask if I’ve done something wrong and why doesn’t she bother talking to me anymore but I can’t be arsed with it. It’s made me cry some evenings as I’m so down about it all. I’ve probably not explained it properly here as I really am just ranting but meh.
You don't need people like that in your life, even if it IS your best friend, get shot of this "so called" friend and move on, I'm sure you have plenty of friends :)
 
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Out of nowhere my best friend has completely taken a turn on me. We used to text loads and she never replies anymore. She doesn’t like my social media. It’s all very petty.

She makes me feel like absolute tit.

It’s like everything is a competition. I introduced her to another friend and she might as well take a mortgage up her backside. It’s like she doesn’t have to be honest with her. She’s taken a volunteer role on but told my friend that it’s an actual job that’s paid. It’s not up to me to tell her otherwise but it makes me so mad when she’s asking about her salary and how does she juggle two jobs etc when I know she doesn’t.

I’ve booked in for my covid vaccine tomorrow and rather than say “yay!” She just said “I wouldn’t have it.” And downplays everything that I do. I know she’s jealous of my job within the NHS - she works in a call centre for a health company and she hates it but again, lies to my other friend and basically makes out she’s a nurse.

I have been tempted many times to ask if I’ve done something wrong and why doesn’t she bother talking to me anymore but I can’t be arsed with it. It’s made me cry some evenings as I’m so down about it all. I’ve probably not explained it properly here as I really am just ranting but meh.
She sounds shallow, envious and cold. The lies are really sly. You need a friend and not a rival. If something good happened to you, she wouldn't be pleased for you and if something bad happened she'd provide no sympathy or support so try to see it as a lucky escape.
 
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