Tan9Heart
Well-known member
View attachment 382984
The only thing that’s impressed me about this app is Kurt’s editing skills.
The only thing that’s impressed me about this app is Kurt’s editing skills.
pink_mountain
Active member
ARE A MORON ??
Nodi504
Chatty Member
Today’s recap is written in the format of an interview between Kurt Tilse and the Daily Mail Report. After the success of their article “Kurt Tilse says he considered becoming a stripper and a drug dealer when he was ‘severely broke’ before meeting YouTuber wife Sarah Day”, Daily Mail decided to host an interview at their house. The following is a transcript.
Interviewer: Morning Kurt, how’s it going?
Kurt: Yeah nothing much, mate. Can’t complain.
Interviewer: So, tell me about your life prior to meeting Sarah. How were you making it by?
Kurt: Oh it was horrible. I got broken up with my girlfriend at the time…decided not to go to uni, was working trade. But even back then, I knew photography was my passion. Spent all my money at cameras and camera lenses to the point I couldn’t even afford rice and tuna on some weeks. At one point, I was like, F*ck it. I saw an episode of Breaking Bad and then decided, I’mma deal some drugs. Then, at one nightout, one of my mates was like, “Yo, Kurt, no homo mate, but you lookin’ extra beefy tonight. Wanna strip for some cash?” I was like, “Yeah the boys!”
Interviewer: So, did you actually do it? Or were you simply thinking of it?
Kurt: Oh nah, nah. Yeah, nah. I was still living with my parents at the time.
(The interviewer looks confused, but decides to move on.)
Interviewer: So, tell me about Sarah. What do you like the most about being married to her?
Kurt: (points at the house) Living in this massive house.
Interviewer: Isn’t this your house too?
Kurt: Yeah, but its under Sezzy’s name. And Sezzy paid for most it, so.
Interviewer: But you’re married to her. Don’t you share most of your expenses like most couples?
Kurt: Nah, we don’t. We do things the way that are best for us. Well, even though me and some of my tradie friends built this house, I don’t practically own it.
Interviewer: How do you share parenting? Is it 50/50?
Kurt: Well….technically not. In the morning, I look after Focks, as Sezzy goes for a workout. Then, usually throughout the day I would be running around Focks, then in the evening, I cook dinner, while Sezzy goes out for a walk…after dinner, I snuggle up with Focks and give him a bath. Then I put him to bed.
Interviewer: Sounds like you do a lot, Kurt. How is Sarah involved in this?
Kurt: Uh…nah, she still does mum duty now and then. (scratches head) Around uh, two days a week. But even then, she usually blows up my phone during it. Even when I was at the hospital the other day she kept calling me to get home so that she could smash out a workout.
Interviewer: You were at the hospital?!
Kurt: Yeah, was having strange heart attack-like symptoms. It was super weird. Sezzy keeps telling me how its all SIBO and keeps feeding me Manuka honey by the spoon…even got mad at me for going to the doctors. I have never, ever felt anything like that before. Especially after I got with Sezzy and had Focks, these symptoms worsened and my health just kept declining.
Interviewer: (stares blankly at Kurt, not saying a word. But both realised something)
Interviewer: (finally speaks after an awkward pause of silence, breaking character, softening voice) Kurt, mate, are you okay? Like, really? You can say what you want, we can cut it out. But we tried to go by your word, that you were better off after you met Sarah. Even went as far as swapping the pictures we used for that article. Are you really, though?
(Before Kurt can even say a word, Sarah bursts in, carrying Fox.)
Sarah: Kurt!
(freezes, sees camera crew and Daily Mail interviewer. Spreads her legs apart, activates cashew back, puts on a forced smile and a high-pitched voice, walks up to them in a flamingo-centaurque way)
Sarah: Hi! Are you guys after an interview for my NUU activewear collection again? We have the new Desert Mirage collection that is selling out SO fast…
Interviewer: Um, no. But we are here for Kurt, though.
Sarah: (immediately loses interest) Well, we have to go now. Kurt and I are tag teaming today, and its Kurt’s turn to look after Fox. (dumps Fox to Kurt, whispers to him) I have an appointment for Botox in 10 mins.
Interviewer: But excuse me, we’re not done with our interview yet…
Sarah: (pops collar bone, speaks with exaggerated hand gestures) Well, can’t you see we have better things to do! Out you go! Kurt, you tell them!
(Interviewer stares in disbelief as they see Kurt morph into another version of Sarah just by being at her presence. He spreads his legs apart for the thigh gap, pops collar bone, puts on exaggerated hand gestures)
Kurt: (high-pitched voice) Well, can’t you see, we have a toddlah. That we need to look after. We can’t be sitting out here doing these grumpy interviews…we need to be…happy. Be the positive ray of sunshine. Talk about holy things, not drug dealing and stripping…nah. We are children of God and Jesus Christ. Amen.
The Interviewer soon leaves with the camera crew after wishing Kurt the best for his health. As they were departing, interviewer turns around and takes one last look at their house. The house, while spacious and big, felt empty, with its beige and white hues leaving it void of any substance.
Interviewer: (glances at their agenda) Well, initially this interview was meant to be titled, “Kurt Tilse: A Coming-of-Age story of struggles and hardship.” Now, I think, “Kurt Tilse: Blink if you need help”, would be a better fit.
The End
Interviewer: Morning Kurt, how’s it going?
Kurt: Yeah nothing much, mate. Can’t complain.
Interviewer: So, tell me about your life prior to meeting Sarah. How were you making it by?
Kurt: Oh it was horrible. I got broken up with my girlfriend at the time…decided not to go to uni, was working trade. But even back then, I knew photography was my passion. Spent all my money at cameras and camera lenses to the point I couldn’t even afford rice and tuna on some weeks. At one point, I was like, F*ck it. I saw an episode of Breaking Bad and then decided, I’mma deal some drugs. Then, at one nightout, one of my mates was like, “Yo, Kurt, no homo mate, but you lookin’ extra beefy tonight. Wanna strip for some cash?” I was like, “Yeah the boys!”
Interviewer: So, did you actually do it? Or were you simply thinking of it?
Kurt: Oh nah, nah. Yeah, nah. I was still living with my parents at the time.
(The interviewer looks confused, but decides to move on.)
Interviewer: So, tell me about Sarah. What do you like the most about being married to her?
Kurt: (points at the house) Living in this massive house.
Interviewer: Isn’t this your house too?
Kurt: Yeah, but its under Sezzy’s name. And Sezzy paid for most it, so.
Interviewer: But you’re married to her. Don’t you share most of your expenses like most couples?
Kurt: Nah, we don’t. We do things the way that are best for us. Well, even though me and some of my tradie friends built this house, I don’t practically own it.
Interviewer: How do you share parenting? Is it 50/50?
Kurt: Well….technically not. In the morning, I look after Focks, as Sezzy goes for a workout. Then, usually throughout the day I would be running around Focks, then in the evening, I cook dinner, while Sezzy goes out for a walk…after dinner, I snuggle up with Focks and give him a bath. Then I put him to bed.
Interviewer: Sounds like you do a lot, Kurt. How is Sarah involved in this?
Kurt: Uh…nah, she still does mum duty now and then. (scratches head) Around uh, two days a week. But even then, she usually blows up my phone during it. Even when I was at the hospital the other day she kept calling me to get home so that she could smash out a workout.
Interviewer: You were at the hospital?!
Kurt: Yeah, was having strange heart attack-like symptoms. It was super weird. Sezzy keeps telling me how its all SIBO and keeps feeding me Manuka honey by the spoon…even got mad at me for going to the doctors. I have never, ever felt anything like that before. Especially after I got with Sezzy and had Focks, these symptoms worsened and my health just kept declining.
Interviewer: (stares blankly at Kurt, not saying a word. But both realised something)
Interviewer: (finally speaks after an awkward pause of silence, breaking character, softening voice) Kurt, mate, are you okay? Like, really? You can say what you want, we can cut it out. But we tried to go by your word, that you were better off after you met Sarah. Even went as far as swapping the pictures we used for that article. Are you really, though?
(Before Kurt can even say a word, Sarah bursts in, carrying Fox.)
Sarah: Kurt!
(freezes, sees camera crew and Daily Mail interviewer. Spreads her legs apart, activates cashew back, puts on a forced smile and a high-pitched voice, walks up to them in a flamingo-centaurque way)
Sarah: Hi! Are you guys after an interview for my NUU activewear collection again? We have the new Desert Mirage collection that is selling out SO fast…
Interviewer: Um, no. But we are here for Kurt, though.
Sarah: (immediately loses interest) Well, we have to go now. Kurt and I are tag teaming today, and its Kurt’s turn to look after Fox. (dumps Fox to Kurt, whispers to him) I have an appointment for Botox in 10 mins.
Interviewer: But excuse me, we’re not done with our interview yet…
Sarah: (pops collar bone, speaks with exaggerated hand gestures) Well, can’t you see we have better things to do! Out you go! Kurt, you tell them!
(Interviewer stares in disbelief as they see Kurt morph into another version of Sarah just by being at her presence. He spreads his legs apart for the thigh gap, pops collar bone, puts on exaggerated hand gestures)
Kurt: (high-pitched voice) Well, can’t you see, we have a toddlah. That we need to look after. We can’t be sitting out here doing these grumpy interviews…we need to be…happy. Be the positive ray of sunshine. Talk about holy things, not drug dealing and stripping…nah. We are children of God and Jesus Christ. Amen.
The Interviewer soon leaves with the camera crew after wishing Kurt the best for his health. As they were departing, interviewer turns around and takes one last look at their house. The house, while spacious and big, felt empty, with its beige and white hues leaving it void of any substance.
Interviewer: (glances at their agenda) Well, initially this interview was meant to be titled, “Kurt Tilse: A Coming-of-Age story of struggles and hardship.” Now, I think, “Kurt Tilse: Blink if you need help”, would be a better fit.
The End
WhyDoIEvenCare
Well-known member
The longer I look at that photo the less I understand how a person can even pose like that and still take herself seriously.
A little early but still:
Sarah's Day #20 Heels lifted, body twisted, I'm a small human and my toddler is gifted
A little early but still:
Sarah's Day #20 Heels lifted, body twisted, I'm a small human and my toddler is gifted
Okay so, I'm an ex-professional chef of 5+ years (had to quit because I got got pregnant and am not bOss bAbE MiLf mUm) and have decided I'm going to buy the app to give y'all the inside scoop. I have also decided that I will make a few of the meals and let you guys know how it went for me. I understand that giving her money isn't the best thing but I'd imagine that coffee a day will be well spent showing people the fucked truth. Plus I'll try get a refund to see how easy that is because as stated in their website it's apparent super easy to just email the support team 
I doubt they're grubby hand will release it that easily js
I doubt they're grubby hand will release it that easily js
Pumpwater
Active member
Hiiiiiii Nutritionist Here (ANutr, PHNutr)
I am actually struggling to articulate and express just how incredibly wrong that milk bottle concoction was.
If your child has a cows milk allergy, for the love of god do NOT substitute with fucking “oRgAnIc” almond milk which is made up of 95% water, and is not fortified with a single nutrient that you need. Fortified soys milk is generally the recommendation for a substitute as it has a similar nutrition profile.
Collagen. Are you fucking kidding me. There is not enough substantial evidence that supports collagen supplementation, especially for a motherfucking toddler. The ONLY time collagen has shown significant benefit is for joint rehabilitation when consumed prior to physiotherapy sessions. And she’s giving him a WHOLE SCOOP.
DHA. This is fine. Not necessary, but also not harmful AS LONG as she is only giving him the recommended serve and nothing more.
“Baby herbalist” Anti-Viral concoction. This is blatantly some quacks substitute for vaccines, and their attempt to protect poor Fox from serious disease.
Kefir? Not harmful but again unnecessary if she just let the fucking kid have Greek yoghurt which is packed full of good bacteria. I’m actually heartbroken and angry simultaneously. Also “I don’t want to assume he also has lactose intolerance” shut up you dirty cow. If you had even a slight idea of nutrition you would know that even if Fox was lactose intolerant, it would need to be diagnosed from a GP, but most of all - you can still eat dairy. Different types of dairy have varying levels of lactose. So quit pretending you’re doing it for him. You just think “dairy is scary” and are removing from his diet because you’re a fucking idiot - but allowing “Kefir” because it has a health halo.
Who the fuck calls that a baby’s bottle. Sarah, you are a cunt. You’re not a Nutritionist or Dietitian you’re a disgusting cunt of a human who is going to seriously harm her child. How fucking date she. And fuck you nobody asked you what milk Fox drinks you just want to act like you’re educated, which you are fucking NOT.
I am actually struggling to articulate and express just how incredibly wrong that milk bottle concoction was.
If your child has a cows milk allergy, for the love of god do NOT substitute with fucking “oRgAnIc” almond milk which is made up of 95% water, and is not fortified with a single nutrient that you need. Fortified soys milk is generally the recommendation for a substitute as it has a similar nutrition profile.
Collagen. Are you fucking kidding me. There is not enough substantial evidence that supports collagen supplementation, especially for a motherfucking toddler. The ONLY time collagen has shown significant benefit is for joint rehabilitation when consumed prior to physiotherapy sessions. And she’s giving him a WHOLE SCOOP.
DHA. This is fine. Not necessary, but also not harmful AS LONG as she is only giving him the recommended serve and nothing more.
“Baby herbalist” Anti-Viral concoction. This is blatantly some quacks substitute for vaccines, and their attempt to protect poor Fox from serious disease.
Kefir? Not harmful but again unnecessary if she just let the fucking kid have Greek yoghurt which is packed full of good bacteria. I’m actually heartbroken and angry simultaneously. Also “I don’t want to assume he also has lactose intolerance” shut up you dirty cow. If you had even a slight idea of nutrition you would know that even if Fox was lactose intolerant, it would need to be diagnosed from a GP, but most of all - you can still eat dairy. Different types of dairy have varying levels of lactose. So quit pretending you’re doing it for him. You just think “dairy is scary” and are removing from his diet because you’re a fucking idiot - but allowing “Kefir” because it has a health halo.
Who the fuck calls that a baby’s bottle. Sarah, you are a cunt. You’re not a Nutritionist or Dietitian you’re a disgusting cunt of a human who is going to seriously harm her child. How fucking date she. And fuck you nobody asked you what milk Fox drinks you just want to act like you’re educated, which you are fucking NOT.
thisisruby
New member
Should call the baby Jenna Tilse.
(Hint: say it out loud.)
(Hint: say it out loud.)
Currently at the Sunee office:
Sarah: View attachment 383213View attachment 383212
Kurt: View attachment 383214
Tanika (ordered by Sez to be on the phone doing damage control): View attachment 383216
Jei: View attachment 383218
Georgia (whoever tf that is) and Tahlia, trying to figure out their escape route before they are doomed to experience eternal hell working for Sez: View attachment 383220
Sarah: View attachment 383213View attachment 383212
Kurt: View attachment 383214
Tanika (ordered by Sez to be on the phone doing damage control): View attachment 383216
Jei: View attachment 383218
Georgia (whoever tf that is) and Tahlia, trying to figure out their escape route before they are doomed to experience eternal hell working for Sez: View attachment 383220
anonanon1818
Active member
In the vlog, she says she feels hard done by.
Let's put some things in perspective.
you got dropped off at the hospital in an ambulance that you can afford because you have private health cover. Your partner and son followed in a range rover.
you did not have to catch public transport or ask a family member to drive you or pay for the insane ambulance fee upfront.
you're in a private room.
you're not in a room with 5 other mums and crying babies.
you can work from your laptop from the hospital and not lose any money because you're away from your job.
you're not in a job where if you miss a day, you miss a pay. Your income is protected. You haven't been fired for missing work.
you have a husband back home to look after your other child.
you're not a single mum who has to worry about who will look after her other child.
you live in a country where hospitals can look after everyone. You were sent to another hospital close by which is better equipped to help your son.
you do not live in a country where there are not enough hospitals or doctors to look after everyone. You haven't been sent home with no answers
you get to go home to a multi-million dollar house that is 7 minutes away from the hospital. you have multiple bedrooms to spread out across.
you don't have to travel hours back to your small rural home which is cramped and you and your sick child don't have room to recover away from a noisy toddler.
you have the luxury of at-home oxygen monitors so you can go to sleep knowing that your baby is protected.
you don't have to worry about sleeping knowing that if your baby turns blue, you won't be awake to save him. Some mums can not go to sleep.
you live in a country where you speak the native language, you can understand and communicate everything with doctors.
you're not in a hospital where English is your second language and you're struggling to understand what's going on.
you have a chair to sleep in and sit in at the hospital.
you don't have to stand in an underfunded and overcrowded hospital with your sick baby.
you can afford expensive lollies and snacks.
you're not going without to fund your hospital stay.
you've got family who can visit you in the hospital.
you're not in a country on the other side of the world away from your support system.
you have RUNNING WATER, ELECTRICITY, A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD, AND SPONSORED CLOTHES ON YOUR BACK.
you're not living in a war-torn, third-world country.
you're crying about the beeping outside your door keeping your baby awake.
another mum down the hall is crying because her baby has a terminal illness and won't make it to their 5th birthday.
all your tests came back clear, you have nothing major to worry about.
you're not having to readjust your whole life based on scary test results.
I understand this is a terrible thing in your life and I am sorry Malakai was sick, but an incredible amount of people would swap places with you in a heartbeat because, in the grand scheme of things, you've got it pretty fucking good Sarah Stevenson (we all know you still haven't legally changed your name).
Let's put some things in perspective.
you got dropped off at the hospital in an ambulance that you can afford because you have private health cover. Your partner and son followed in a range rover.
you did not have to catch public transport or ask a family member to drive you or pay for the insane ambulance fee upfront.
you're in a private room.
you're not in a room with 5 other mums and crying babies.
you can work from your laptop from the hospital and not lose any money because you're away from your job.
you're not in a job where if you miss a day, you miss a pay. Your income is protected. You haven't been fired for missing work.
you have a husband back home to look after your other child.
you're not a single mum who has to worry about who will look after her other child.
you live in a country where hospitals can look after everyone. You were sent to another hospital close by which is better equipped to help your son.
you do not live in a country where there are not enough hospitals or doctors to look after everyone. You haven't been sent home with no answers
you get to go home to a multi-million dollar house that is 7 minutes away from the hospital. you have multiple bedrooms to spread out across.
you don't have to travel hours back to your small rural home which is cramped and you and your sick child don't have room to recover away from a noisy toddler.
you have the luxury of at-home oxygen monitors so you can go to sleep knowing that your baby is protected.
you don't have to worry about sleeping knowing that if your baby turns blue, you won't be awake to save him. Some mums can not go to sleep.
you live in a country where you speak the native language, you can understand and communicate everything with doctors.
you're not in a hospital where English is your second language and you're struggling to understand what's going on.
you have a chair to sleep in and sit in at the hospital.
you don't have to stand in an underfunded and overcrowded hospital with your sick baby.
you can afford expensive lollies and snacks.
you're not going without to fund your hospital stay.
you've got family who can visit you in the hospital.
you're not in a country on the other side of the world away from your support system.
you have RUNNING WATER, ELECTRICITY, A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD, AND SPONSORED CLOTHES ON YOUR BACK.
you're not living in a war-torn, third-world country.
you're crying about the beeping outside your door keeping your baby awake.
another mum down the hall is crying because her baby has a terminal illness and won't make it to their 5th birthday.
all your tests came back clear, you have nothing major to worry about.
you're not having to readjust your whole life based on scary test results.
I understand this is a terrible thing in your life and I am sorry Malakai was sick, but an incredible amount of people would swap places with you in a heartbeat because, in the grand scheme of things, you've got it pretty fucking good Sarah Stevenson (we all know you still haven't legally changed your name).
Spicy_bananas
Well-known member
I'm going to have to strongly disagree with your comment.
1- She's an influencer and I believe withholding that information to your public reinforces the fact that she is not vaccinated which is a terrible example to follow. We are now at almost 2 years in this pandemic. People like her (and anyone really) have to take this seriously and stop spreading ignorance by not talking about it. This leads followers to think that she's not vaccinated and that it's a correct thing to do.
2- Yes vaccinated people can still spread covid but they won't pass it if they don't catch it and the risk of getting it from another vaccinated person is almost inexistent compared to an unvaccinated person. This is why I want to know if someone I'm meeting is vaccinated. If they aren't, they are more likely to pass it to me even though I'm at a lower risk to catch it.
3- Personal medical conditions are none of other people's business. However when dealing with a pandemic and a vaccine that can eventually render it endemic or better yet eradicate it completely, it is everyone's business.
I've said my peace. If you are antivaxx (you or anyone reading this) don't come at me because I have zero tolerance for uneducated people.
Now back to Scuzz.
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lockdownboredom2021
Member
Did you guys see this 
Attachments
Gecko7.7.7
Active member
Sarah's Day #21 Red Bull was gifted, app ratings have drifted. Do my challenge for free... jokes, gimme your subscription fee.
Edited to shorten.
Edited to shorten.
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Alphabean124
Active member
Those are just rocks that have been nutted on
beanybeans
Well-known member
So having pre-marital sex and a baby outside wedlock is ok, but doing certain stretches is a no
Right
Right
TeaTimeSissys
Member
I guess it is weird for siblings to have a bath together when you’re 30
gudetatami
New member
Sarah’s Day #22: Sponsored wedding, restricts for shredding, sleeps with urine in her bedding