ruby granger : Most liked Posts

calm yourself it’s only how to fill up a notebook

My headcanon: Ruby's mum has a bunch of throwaway accounts on youtube and she is the one requesting the scullery maid video to get Ruby to clean ahaha

Ruby's expression at the beginning of the video...

Thank you so much Ruby for that lovely 16 minute video about how rich you are and how lovely and slow life is in your giant farmhouse in the countryside. Special shout outs to the bit where she says to shop at a farmers market (cos we all have one of those locally), the recommendation to buy a book of pictures of otters just for the aesthetic and my favourite bit, where she just props a picture frame on her iPad as she shows us her music.

I am officially old. I don't understand what the kids are wearing anymore, Dilophosaurus fashion is so hot right now.

Kcn said:

But imagine if they complained about her for waltzing around at 6am! She would not be happy!!
She probably expects everyone to be on the same schedule as her

Click to expand...

Can you imagine been her flat mate and you've just finished a bar shift at 3am because your working to help finance been at uni then at 7am all you here is the theme song to alton towers been blasted from your flat mates room whilist hearing good morning its Ruby

It's almost Christmas, and what better way for Ruby to celebrate than to run home for the 2,435th time this year? Well, with a message of capitalism, of course, as our Glorious Leader in Productivity provides an important update regarding her business:




Ruby stands proudly, casting a squinting eye across her family's land for a promotional picture featuring no products sold on her website, as she exudes the energy, attitude, height, and - let's face it - the hairline of Napoleon:



Ruby informs her adoring masses that free shipping is a wonderful, yet unattainable dream. It simply isn't possible, even though most businesses and independent sellers offer free domestic shipping as a minimum, and that's when they're actually shipping things.

Unfortunately, free shipping would drastically interfere with Ruby getting more money, and that simply will not do. But Ruby has a solution! From the cake of wealth that she took from your tables and ravenously consumes, she will offer you a tiny crumb of kindness. £3 off international shipping, as long as you order £30 worth of trash you don't need! Oh, and it's only for this week!

So now, if you're buying internationally, you only have to pay £15 just for shipping for that poorly-made planner that was released far too late to arrive before the date upon which you were able to start using it, just as long as you buy even more stuff to go with it.

Buyers might be wondering "What the fuck?!" or "It's been two weeks and you've not shipped my order, why am I still being charged for shipping at all?!" Buyers closer to home might be wondering why they have no discount. You also might be wondering why this is just for new orders this week and not for the poor bastards who ordered her crap day one and still haven't had a shipping notification even after 2+ weeks. And we've covered this already, it's just not feasible and conflicts with Ruby's Ebenezer Scrooge-esque business motivations.


(Ruby counting all the money she got from inflated shipping and product costs.)

But Ruby has a more permanent solution for all disgruntled customers who made the mistake of paying far too much for items of such shoddy quality and then had to pay far too much for shipping and still wait for weeks before they even dispatched. If you buy far more stuff and make her business a massive success, then one day, maybe, she'll be able to reconsider the cost of shipping. Such kindness!

In all seriousness, if you were one of the poor, misguided people who fell for Ruby's crap and ordered anything from her: Demand a refund. If her "customer service" department doesn't respond because she's too busy frolicking in fields or spreading the 'rona around bookshops and cafés, then raise a dispute with PayPal or your credit card provider to get your money back.

You paid a premium for prompt delivery and that hasn't happened. Any reputable business would refund postage at a minimum. Painting a £3 shipping discount, but only on the £18 international shipping, and only if you spend £30, and only for a week, as a noble act of generosity? Get the fuck outta here with this bullshit, Ruby. This ain't gonna fly.

You unfortunate customers paid a massive mark-up on the product itself. These notebooks, planners and other tat are made from cheap quality materials and have had precious little design effort put into them. But regardless of quality, if you paid £16 for a planner whose value started diminishing after January 1st, and Ruby's business ineptitude prevented it from arriving on time, then a partial refund would be expected at a minimum.

Get that shit refunded. You got swindled. You deserve better. And if you were thinking, "But Ruby's just one person! I should be patient with small businesses!" Well, remember that the business is owned and run by Sixteenth, Ruby's management company. Ruby's a figurehead, and merely nods her head when they suggest things like using low-quality materials, poorly-equipped suppliers who can't ship promptly, or charging a huge mark-up for all that shit. Refunds. You deserve them.

Oh, right, and she uploaded a new video, too!



Once again, in the very first frame, we're greeted by Ruby's cavernous maw, since basic editing is still an elusive skill for her and she has to start every video mid-speech for some reason.

And continuing the trend, English scholar Ruby shows zero regard for or understanding of the laws of capital letters.

"Christmas Gift Guide 2021 || bookish, academia, independent shops"

Why is half of it capitalised and half not? Who the fuck knows? Ruby sure doesn't. She just takes a wild guess at capitalisation and punctuation, and it's a different guess every time, so statistically she'll be accidentally right one of these days!

Ever the master of planning and organisation, Ruby has decided that December 13th is the appropriate time to upload a video with gift recommendations, even though almost everyone has done their Christmas shopping now.

"Christmas is right around the corner now, and if you haven't got all of your Christmas presents YAT, then hopefully this video will be helpful," she says. Then she inserts a disclaimer that videos like this aren't always useful because everyone's different, and everyone has different "inside jokes and memories".

Her one-eyed blink that she does whenever she's lying goes into overdrive, and clearly she's having a tough time fighting her narcissistic impulses by telling people that one of her half-assed videos - shock! - might not be the most useful thing ever:



Ruby awkwardly looks off-screen and pulls this face:



Then she immediately launches into her list of gift ideas, rattling them off at an alarming rate, with little or no comment as to why she thinks they'd be great gift ideas to anyone.

Her ideas include:

"A non-ticking clock, for studying."

It HAS to be non-ticking. If your intended recipient finds the metronome-like ticking of a clock soothing, that's just too fucking bad. NON-TICKING.

And it's for studying only. If you give this clock to anyone and they say, "Oh, that's great! I really needed a back-up alarm! And it'll be great to tell the time without getting my phone out!" then you should wrench the clock from their ungrateful hands, end your friendship and return the clock to where you bought it, post-haste. How DARE THEY?! This is FOR STUDYING ONLY.



When recommending that you buy a NON-TICKING CLOCK FOR STUDYING ONLY, YOU HEATHENS, Ruby hilariously chooses to show the very same clock that she bought and immediately tried to break because it kept making distracting musical noises and she lacked the basic brainpower to figure out how to use it, or read the product listing to realise that it played music. Must buy! Great gift!

• Zebra Sarasa 0.5 nib pens.
• Lamy or Parker "fountain PANS" - "a NICE fountain pan".
• The COMPLETE Mildliners set - no half measures, it has to be every single one.
• Washi tape, but ONLY from Note & Wish, because "the company is just really nice" (Ruby doesn't explain what makes them "nice", so we're to assume they sent her free stuff and she just hasn't declared that).
• "Post-It Nyoats" - the astronomy ones are "really quouulll".

Ruby then recommends blue light glasses - "everyone's been talking about these EVERYWHERE". Maybe years ago, Ruby, but blue light glasses have since been widely been debunked by most eye-care professionals as offering only a placebo effect and studies have found that blue light has little or no impact on eye strain. Master researcher Ruby "Granger", everyone!

• Decomposition notebooks
• A yearly planner. Ruby plugs her own planner, but neglects to mention the logistical incompetence and ongoing shipping delays at her company means that there is no chance you'll get these in time for Christmas. Good job being transparent, Ruby!

Then, for the last item in her 'Study Gifts' section, she recommends the Tombow brush pen set. The RRP for this set is nearly £400 and you'll struggle to find it cheaper than £205 anywhere even highly discounted.

How much does this privileged, silver spoon fuckwit think her viewers have to spend on last-minute gifts?! She's living in an isolated bubble of entitlement and has zero awareness of how other people live.

Next, 'Old Fashioned Things', missing a hyphen. Should be "Old-Fashioned Things", Ruby. Must try harder.

• "Letter writing sets, or just letter writing supplies in JANeral."
• A wax seal stamp. (Buy the Note & Wish ones, of course, because the company is "really nice"!)
• Add-rass books.

Ruby rambles for a while about "Paper Blanks", without explaining if it's a product, a store, a company or anything and providing no link. Apparently they make notebooks based on famous literature, as opposed to Ruby's company, which makes stationery based on selling garbage for as much as they can get away with.

• Feather quill.
• Ink.
• A candle snuffer, "prafferably a vintage one!"

"I also love these art boxes! I don't dyoo art, so I would never get one of these!" Ruby's withered walnut brain strikes again!

There's so much to unpack here. "I will never buy this! I recommend it to you peons, though!" Ruby doesn't "do art", despite constantly proclaiming her love - even in this video - of brush pens, calligraphy supplies, and so on. She claims to love these boxes but refuses to buy one as she doesn't "do art". But these are general storage boxes and could be used for all her other bullshit, like her ink pots, quill pens, pen nibs, etc. The part of her brain that's supposed to make these connections is just gone - shrivelled away to nothing by lack of nutrients and just prolonged stupidity.

Ruby is proof, where none were needed, that wealth is no signifier of intelligence. She's a strong contender for the dumbest person ever to put on a fake posh accent.

• "Glaaaahss and braaahss phyo-to fraymess!"
• A bag of chestnuts and a (vintage) nutcracker.

Now, onto books, which is the category that Ruby is least qualified to make recommendations for, since she never reads any.

• A 'novel journal' - a notebook which has lines from famous books instead of ruled lines.
• Old-fashioned books from Oxfam. Must be from Oxfam. No other charity shop will do, mainly because Ruby really struggled against her greedy nature to name even one charity shop in this video, and naming another will give her a brain aneurysm.
• A "book Kindle case". "This shop from AT-SEA is wonderful," she says, talking about some kind of nautical sales platform that doesn't exist, displaying the name of the independent shop she's supposed to be supporting on-screen for one second only and refusing to link in the description. Blink and you'll miss that shit, so I'll do what Ruby wouldn't, you can find this shop on Etsy:

(This is not an endorsement - I've never ordered from there and have no idea what their products are like.)

Book-related enamel pins.
'From the Page' candles. Again, no link, no mention as to where these can be bought. Good job supporting small business, Ruby!

FYI, the store can be found here (again, never ordered from them, not an endorsement):

Was that so hard, Ruby?

• The New Yorker Encyclopedia of Cartoons
• "Joanie sells literary sweatshirts."

Is this the start of a nursery rhyme? Who the fuck is Joanie? Ruby is talking about Joanie Clothing, who appear to be a brand retailer. She provides no link to their store.

• UnjadedJade's study guide - a terrible collection of crappy, perspective-free, outdated advice that nobody should buy and that was so successful that the price plummeted to next-to-nothing at all retailers within days of release. Ruby has not read this book.
• Vee's 'Empowered' book. Ruby has not read this book.

Ruby then talks about her "other favourite" self-help books, as though the above are her favourites. SHE HAS NOT READ EITHER BOOK.

• The Daily Stoic.
• Jack Edwards' reading log.

Okay, Ruby, we need to have a chat about advertising ethics. Three of the four products that you just recommended to people are books that you haven't read, and a notebook which you do not use.

All three items are merch put out by people who are represented by Sixteenth - the same management/publicity company as you.


This is information that you should be stating when recommending that people buy things from them, to put those personal ties and conflicts of interest out in the open.

You can't be trusted to make objective recommendations regarding products which you both haven't used and have personal or business links to, so you need to declare this. If you don't, it's deceitful, and casts all your recommendations and everything you say into doubt.

• "A literary maaahsk." (I have no clue what a literary mask is. Ruby offers no further details or images.)
• A book sleeve.
• A homemade bookmark. (A stack of ten wrapped with a ribbon - a £6 ribbon from Pumpkin Productivity, perhaps?)
• A pre-made bookmark.

(Ruby keeps this store name on store for precious few seconds.)

• Literary gift boxes
• "The English Library Classics Editions." By which she means the Penguin Clothbound Classics collection.
• "The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Hare." Which is a book that doesn't exist. Perhaps she meant to recommend "The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse". But considering that she doesn't know the name, briskly cuts away before she's even finished saying the title and has nothing to say about the book's contents, it's a guarantee that she's never read this book.
• Winter Tales. She rattles off the cover blurb and says this is "beautifully illustrated". She hasn't read this one, either.
• Polar Ex-prass Gift Set.

Onto the 'decor' section:



Ruby recommends "candlestick holders", and shows a picture of candlesticks. She holds up a waxy nub of candle wax and calls it a candlestick. Ruby still doesn't know what words mean.

Look, Ruby, in the game of Cluedo/Clue, they don't talk about Professor Plum killing someone in the library with the "candlestick holder", do they? Have you ever wondered why? It's because nobody fucking calls it that. It's a candlestick, or a candle holder. Never a candlestick holder.


Enjoy, Ruby.

• Elephant tealight holders. "They're from a shop in AX-eter."

"This Antropologiply bust pot," she says, stumbling over her words but yet again refusing to do a second take. "I feel like these are the app-pp-ppitome of dark academia."



Ruby can't say why they're the epitome of DARK MACADEMIA because she still doesn't actually know what dark academia is. She just saw someone mention it on a Pinterest board once, and here we are.

• Aromatherapy diffuser, ideally the one from "Myoojee", along with a selection of essential oils from AT-SEA sellers (she doesn't specify which) to "bulk out that gift a little bit". The Muji diffuser is £60. Again, who the fuck does she think the average student is buying last minute gifts for that £60 isn't enough and they need to "bulk it up a bit".
• Frames with flowers in them, from "AT-SEA sellers". Ruby again doesn't specify who these brave fisherman are that traverse the harsh waves and ocean currents making floral bric-à-brac to sell to Ruby when they make land again.
• "Nice stickers, again from AT-SEA. Because I feel like stickers is the kind of thing that you never buy for yourself." "Stickers is," Ruby? Stickers are.
• Custom music art prints from PrntOut on "AT-SEA".
• "Vinyl rack-ords." How is this "decor"?
• "Glass wax bohn-uhs from Olive Tree Lifestyle." By which she seems to mean "glass wax burners". "I know that part of the profits go to charity," she adds, as her brain struggles with the concept of parting with money.

Then there's a whole section for tea, and I can't be bothered to go through all this, so I'll summarise: "BIRD AND BLEND! £20! MATCHAMATCHAMATCHA! MATCHA? MATCHA... MATCHA! MATCHA-MATCHA! MAC MCMATCHA'S MATCHA MATCHES! MATCHAAA! EDDYFUSER TEAPOT! BLAKENEY! A MOGWARMER ATTACHMENT? COLLAPSABLE TOPPERWARE?"



She holds up that mug she keeps using, which is designed to look like a family of violently ill wild birds shat in it, and says it's "the most beautiful handmade mug". So you shouldn't trust her opinion on anything.

Onto "beauty"/"clothing and health".

• Ruby recommends an Eco Drive watch which, at a glance, appear to be £100 minimum. She does not specify if it is allowed to tick or not.
• Embroidered maahhsks.
• A large blanket-scarf.
• "The bomb-dot-coms from Glossier". Or Balm Dotcoms, as they're actually known. Gotta chase that Glossier sponsorship, am I right, Rubes?
• Velvet pouches from Accessorise. Ruby says they'd be perfect for storing bookmarks. You know what would be better than folding bookmarks up and putting them in a velvet pouch, Ruby? Put them in a fucking book and read it.
• "Little Women Atelier makes these wonderful ham-ade dresses," she says. I'm not sure how people would combine ham and lemonade into a dress, but I'm glad people are out there trying new things.
• Doc Martens.
• A jade roller or orbit eye stones. Why not some random healing crystals, or a trip to an opium den, too?
• Woodland animal brooches from Fable. Ruby was gifted one of these, but neglects to mention this while giving a glowing endorsement. She says you should buy the brooch (£18 before postage) and pair it with a Big Wild Thought sweatshirt (£45 before postage - but "tan pre-cent goes to supporting an animal") for a gift. How much money do you think people have for last-minute fucking gifts?
• Knitwear
• Yoga leggings from Lulu Lemon (£88!)

Onto the homemade section, and Ruby's eyes light up.



"I can make shitty, half-assed gifts and not have to spend a single penny, while everyone else buys me all the things on the big list of gifts that I've just constructed and posted online?!" Ruby probably thinks to herself. "Oh, what a Christmas miracle!"

Ruby suggests printing pre-made cards, which isn't really a personal, handmade thing.

"You could get them tickets to see something together," she says. Add "handmade" to the ever-growing list of words which Ruby does not understand the meaning of.

"A possonalised board game." For Ruby, this would just be Cluedo/Clue, but with any mention of "candlestick" amended to "candlestick holder".

"Disclaimer, I did work with Cricut," Ruby says so fast that she's clearly trying to rush past this disclaimer. "Cricut did sponsor me a couple of months ago, but I AM using my Cricut this year."



Where are all the other missing disclaimers in this video full of previously gifted products, products you have personal or business ties to, Ruby?



Given that this was the quality of the final products that she showed off in her Cricut-sponsored video - a video where she also lied about using the Cricut all the time, even though she couldn't figure out how to use it and forgot half the essential accessories - I weep for the poor bastards getting anything from her if she's actually telling the truth.

And, finally, the "other" section:

• Test tube vase.
• Chilly's "wyater bottuw".
• Aprons.
• AT-SEA stamps from noolibirdstamps.
• A film camera. Because I'm just made of fucking money.
• Cookie cutters.
• Bamboo cutlery set.
• Coconut bowls.
• A "hyot wyater bottuwhh".
• S'mores-making kit.
• A CHASS-ETT! (Or a chess set.) If they liked The Queen's Gambit, also get them the book that is recommended in The Queen's Gambit that Ruby doesn't know the name of because she never watched it, and also The Queen's Gambit book. Or just something from the '60s. Because if you like The Queen's Gambit, you're also guaranteed to like View-Masters, beehive hairdos, and being drafted to fight in Vietnam.
• Postcard sets.
• Golden hour light, so you can pretend it's dusk when it's not - especially handy for when Ruby's lying about the time when filming videos.
• A new rucksack.
• A New Yorker or Nat Geo subscription. Ruby does not specify if this is digital or physical. Judging by her love of defacing back issues of the New Yorker, I'll assume physical. A physical subscription to The New Yorker is around £500 a year.
• A personalised Coraline doll... Because if it'll get Ruby closer to her dream of being a fictional child, then it's her dream gift.

And then we skip to the outro, and the volume jumps up by a billion decibels, and sounds like it's recorded underwater.

"Okay, I'm sorry, my camera just died," Ruby moans.

The thing about filming and editing is that you can wait for your camera to recharge and film new footage. You left this video until it was far too late and far too half-assed to be useful anyway, another hour wouldn't have made any difference and would've saved a lot of viewers from having their ear drums blown out.

And that's it for Ruby's Christmas list to Santa gift recommendations!

I’m honestly so happy for her that she ventured out of her comfort zone for even just one night.

found these comments on her page… the last one couldn’t be more right.

I've not been on this thread for an age! Apologies for not finishing my write-up of Erimentha, I had some health issues I needed to sort which culminated in surgery (I'm all good ) but doing writing became a bit too much for me. Pleased that others picked up the slack. What is Ruby up to now? Has she signed up for a masters or something? How many cups of ceremonial tea have been poured?

OK so Ruby has just posted this quote on Instagram...attributing it to George Orwell when actually it's one of Orwell's CHARACTERS who says it....and I interpreted the quote as ironic because Winston has been conditioned by the Big Brother totalitarian society to not stray out of his comfort zone. So it's actually a quote about how you stay ignorant if you just keep reading the same things...which is especially apt for Ruby, but not in the way she thinks it is

gossip_guy said:

Ruby, take a seat. As your official creative consultant, here's some suggestions:

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(Sighs)

Ruby... Just...sit. We need to talk.

We'll start with the little things.

"Making cereal bowls for breakfast." Whoa, you made pottery first thing in the morning?! That's impressive! Maybe you should've included that in the video? Oh. Wait. What? You were just talking about a bowl of cereal? Yeah...y'see Rubes, on Planet Earth, we humans generally don't phrase things like that. I mean, if you bought a packet of crisps, you wouldn't say "I ate a crisp packet for lunch", would you? Or would you? I feel like we need to clarify these things from now on, because with you I'm just not sure anymore. Just write this down: "I'm not making and eating the container, I'm making and eating the food inside." Got it? Okay, cool.

Whoever had 'Ruby Says "Woe is me! I was bullied!"' on your bingo card today, come collect your prize. Ruby, if your self-insert book about getting bullied is reflective of you being bullied, I gotta ask...



And if you were, don't let it define you. Don't mention it Every. Single. Day. If you do, then you're allowing bullies to occupy your mind rent-free and allowing yourself to be brought down by people you haven't seen since high school. They've moved on. You can, too. Live your life and embrace your successes. That way, you win, not them.

Okay. Now onto the bigger stuff.

Remember when we talked about having a clear, concise title that reflects the content of your video? Y'see, you're not quite there yet. Points awarded for not shoving 'Slow-Living Burnt Bagelcore Academia #ad" at the end or something though. "Finding Like-Minding People at University" is a clear title...for a different video. This video should have been titled "Vlog: Ruby Films Her Friends Walking Away For 18 Minutes With Occasional Shots of Food (With a 60 Second Ramble About Friendship or Something.)"

Look, the video title should reflect the video as a whole, not a tiny bit at the end. Here's an example: They called the movie 'Spider-Man 2' because he's the main character and it was the second movie in the series. Simple, right? They did not call it 'That Guy on the Street Who Screams That Spider-Man Stole Someone's Pizza.' Because, while that guy is in the movie, he's not the focal point, and barely makes an appearance. You see?

Edit: Wait, I forgot, you don't watch movies. Well, here's another example: The book is called 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone' because Harry's the main character and the plot revolves around someone trying to steal The Philosopher's Stone. Clear. Concise. Ever wondered why the first book isn't called 'Mr. Ollivander and the Collection of Wands'? No, you haven't, because he's barely in it. So bear that in mind when titling future videos.

Now, last time I suggested separating your content into complete, substantial series instead of just cramming all your content into a half-assed vlog every time. You failed miserably again.

There's a good video to be made about making friends as a socially-awkward introvert at uni. So make that. Have it be its own video with some preparation and thought put into it. Talk to Blakeney on-screen to see what her experience making friends at uni was like compared to yours, or get other student's thoughts, tips experiences. Here, you've just shoved a whispery ramble on the end of an unrelated vlog, talking about friends you met on your uni course, and with Molly I was like...



But anyway, make that a full video. That and the tea review were the only parts approaching actual content in 18 minutes of filler. Why didn't you make those their own videos? Cramming everything into a minimum-effort vlog is a waste of content ideas. A 'Tea Review' series would give you a new, regular content stream to appeal to your fans and new viewers. A video about making friends at uni when you're socially awkward is relevant and interesting content. You could interview people who started uni during the Age of the 'Rona to get their experiences and tips for making friends remotely, too. I guess that would require effort though...

Look, maybe you're just not cut out for this YouTube content creator game anymore. Have you considered working as one of those sign-twirler people who stand in the street and advertise car dealerships? I feel like that's more your speed - costumes are encouraged and you can spin about whimsically as much as you like.

Ruby Granger 23 title thread: Ruby attempts to profit from genocide: Schindler's pissed

slamvs27 said:

Didn't she have a video on how badly her interview went? I vaguely recall it.
Instead of displaying originality, intelligence, and real passion for the subject, she probably just sat there blurting a bunch of factoids at the poor cringing interviewers. I bet they saw right through that, and even now she'd never proven them wrong otherwise.

Click to expand...

I've managed to obtain the audio transcript of the interview:

Ruby: "Hello, it's Roobee!"

Interviewer: "Hello Ruby, I'm Professor Farfington, I'll be carrying out the interview today. Why don't you tell us about yourself?"

Ruby: "Hello, it's Roobee, and today oiy'm gyowing tyoo bee telling you all about myself.

I despise the bay-nal existence of most students, and I'm much more enlightenified than all the modern teenagers who just go to parties, consume ethanol - which 19th Century poet Hughly W. M. Poffershire observed was "the devil's elixir" - and then inject marijuana and smoke cocaines before going on a crime spree. I enjoy a much more civilised lifestyle and am a total bookworm.

I love Emily Dickinson, because she got to stay home all the time and never interact socially, but also her poetry is just so pictatorial and eclacktic and I love how her words flow but halt and distinctly but serenely conjure up both images and emotions, too.

I'm such a natural planner, and I'm obsessed with organising so that all of my life is run like clockwork, which is why I was ten minutes late for this interview which I apologise unresordedly and unequavotably about but it was beyond my control as my backup planner for my to-do list only had enough space to put 15 entries and those were taken up by reminding myself to brush my teeth and listen to classical music, so there was no place to write the time of this interview. I one day hope to create a planner that has at least 16 entries though, which will racktify this crime that the universe inflicted upon me.

Speaking of being bullied, I was savagely bullied in school, but this made me a stronger person, because when I remembered I was bullied after making it up in the fictional book I wrote, I realised that you only get bullied if you're better than other people, because mummy says people are all jealous of me because I'm so much more special than other people, but it's important that we pretend to shop at Tesco occasionally to stay humble. And I think it's important that we normalise and romanticise that, because the entophy of our spirit is only emboldinged by the quaffness of our blurburr."

Interviewer: "And you say English is your first language?"

Thread name suggestion:

Ruby Granger #16: Rooberoy Lockhart, author of ”Erimenthal Me”

i swear if i see that old ass recycled footage of her sitting at the table with other students i’m going to lose my mind

CatCafe234 said:

Ahh, that makes things make sense now - when Marfa went to get her Betty Boop tattoo her mum went along and got a tattoo of a strawberry, which she said was for Marfa. I had always thought it was a nickname and wondered how they got ‘Strawberry’ from Marfa, since Ma Granger said she was going to get another tattoo of a bee, for Ruby (and I can see how you can get ‘Bee’ as a nickname from Ruby). Hearing that her parents wanted to call her Strawberry makes that make sense now, but wow, Marfa dodged a bullet with that one! Apologies if there are any Strawberries reading, but what a name to go though life with.

Click to expand...

Strawberry Bones sounds like a killer band name tho

Rubes, give us some new content, please, I'm getting mega bored by discussions about chipped nailpolish.

lizzie2707 said:

View attachment 650391
Sure ya do, love…

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"Tend to play chess in the evenings."

She's so pretentious...it actually hurts.

Omg skip to 0:44 to find out exactly why Ruby struggled to make friends at school
‘I used to remind the teacher to give us homework’
Absolute violation 🥲